Changing Lives FEMSLASH 55 chapters
by sjslashfan
Summary: Sam and Janet don't realize what the future holds for them.
1. Chapter 1 TRAVELS

Sam had only just passed the exit at the airport parking lot when she heard Janet sob. "Oh baby, it's okay," she said softly to her lover, touching her hand. "She's gonna be fine."

"I know it," Janet's reply was muffled. "And I'm being stupid. I'm just gonna miss her so much; the house'll be empty without her."

Sam smiled. "I know, Jan, she's never been away for more that a couple of weeks. But she's going to have a ball, we had to let her go."

Janet smiled. "We did, baby, we did. And she's promised to stay in contact, hasn't she?"

Sam squeezed her fingers.

**SGSGSGSGSGSG**

When Cassandra had first told Sam and Janet of her plans to spend a year traveling the world after graduating from college before she started med school, Sam's heart had skipped a beat. She knew that they would both miss her horribly, but she also knew that the experiences that Cassie would get from her trip would set her up for life. It was something she had done at seventeen, and she knew how much Cassie would get out of it.

Janet had been so brave when Cassie dropped her bombshell, and she had been so supportive and enthusiastic about her travels that Sam was filled with pride. Both 'her girls' were so beautiful, and so brilliant. She knew was so lucky to have such a wonderful family.

Dropping Cassie at the airport had been hard on all of them. Their daughter was now 21, and so was more than old enough to handle her year ahead, but still, they weren't going to see her for at least six months. They had tentatively agreed to meet for a two-week holiday in Asia half way through Cassie's trip, but nothing had been set in stone.

But Cassie's excitement was infectious, so Sam and Janet did their best to fake enthusiasm. They managed to hold it together as they watched her pass through the barrier. But as they left the airport parking lot, Janet's self-control crumbled. Sam herself was close to tears, but she was driving, and she wanted to support Janet.

Once they got back home, Sam put her arms round her lover, and held her tight. "She's a great kid, isn't she?" she said quietly, and she could feel Janet nod in reply. "C'mon, let's get your jacket off," and she helped slide the denim jacket from Janet's shoulders. "What's this?" she felt a lump in the pocket.

Janet looked embarrassed. "It's cash; I tried to give it to Cassie, but she refused. She swore to me that she would contact us if she got in trouble, but she said she wanted to do the whole trip for herself. I'm so proud of her. And I know," she held her hands up, "I know I shouldn't have tried to give her the money, I know you wouldn't have done anything so stupid."

"Wanna bet?" Sam grinned, as she removed a large wad from her jeans pocket. "She wouldn't take mine either, Jan!" and both women laughed, slightly shamefaced.

At that moment, Sam's cellphone beeped. "It's Cass!" she said delightedly as she read it, and passed the 'phone over to Janet, who saw the message:

_"Well I'm through to the gate, 'plane leaves in 20 minutes. Look in the fruit bowl. I love you both, and I'm going to miss you. Cass. xxx"_

"Fruit bowl?" Janet wondered. "What does she mean?"

"One way to find out, honey," Sam said, and went over to it. Underneath the oranges, she found an envelope with 'Mom & Sam' written on the front in Cassie's messy handwriting.

"Well open it up," Janet said. "I wanna know what's in there." So Sam did.

Cassandra had written:

_"Mom, Sam, I think I can guess how you are both feeling right now. And I'll bet you didn't show any of it at the airport, and for that, I'm grateful._

_You two have been such wonderful moms to me. I hit gold when I was found by Sam on Hanka. Somehow you two turned the most terrible experience in my life into something wonderful. I have been truly happy with you, in a home that was full to bursting with love, laughter and fun. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything you have done for me._

_Don't think that this is the end though. I'll be back in a year, and the time will fly by. And I'll see you in Malaysia as planned. By that time, I'll be begging for a bit of luxury, so I'll generously allow you to spoil me and pay for *everything*, as you always have. I'm looking forward to that hotel already!_

_But now I want you two to have some fun, some time to yourselves. You're just so great together, you really are the perfect couple. If one day I find someone who makes me half as happy as you two make each other, I'll count myself very lucky._

_I'm wandering from the point now. I've been talking to Uncle Jack, and he's cleared it with Landry for you two to have the rest of the week off. So I've booked you into a cabin in the mountains for four nights. I know you both love it there, and I think it'll do you the world of good to take some time out for yourselves, and for each other._

_I've told Celine at the cabins that you'll pick up the key from her at 1500hrs"_

. . . at this point, Janet stopped reading and looked at her watch.

Cassie's letter continued:

_"and Mom, you don't have to look at your watch. Yes, I know you better than you know yourself! Everything's ready for you, if you look under the tarpaulin in the garage, you'll find a bag packed, and a box of groceries. There's plenty of food for at least two days, and after that you can go to the store in the village._

_Enjoy it both of you, relax, sleep in, swim in the river, do whatever you want to. Just be together. And know that I'll be thinking of you on my travels, and loving you more as each day passes._

_All my love,_

_Cassandra_

_p.s. By the way, the cabin's not paid for. Well, what did you expect, I'm an impoverished student? But I'll bet you both tried to give me money at the airport, so you can use that. I love you."_

Janet's hands were shaking by the time she got to the end of the letter. She looked up at Sam, and saw that she was equally emotional. "Well I guess we'd better go, huh, honey?"

"I guess so," Sam's voice was thick with unshed tears. "She's one in a million, that kid, isn't she?"

"Oh God yes," Janet breathed.

So they set off on their journey. The cabin was only two hours away, and by the time they reached it, they were relaxed and happy. Janet started unpacking the groceries in the kitchen, while Sam carried out all the practical tasks, such as making sure the water was turned on, and bringing in logs for the fire that they would light that evening.

As Janet opened the refrigerator to put the milk inside, she saw a bottle of champagne with a red ribbon tied round it, next to some fresh strawberries. She couldn't imagine how Cassie had organized it, but there was a note in her handwriting attached to the bottle,

_"Eat, drink, be merry!"_

she had written.

"Sam!" Janet called. "You'll never believe what I've found!" and she showed it to her.

Sam grinned. "Well, baby, in that case, I think we should do just what we're told! And I know just the place to do it," and at that, she snagged the champagne and strawberries, found two glasses and led Janet by the hand to the bedroom.

It was dusk by the time they emerged from their idyll, wrapped only in their robes. Hand in hand, they strolled to the waterside by the fast-flowing river. Sam sat down first, leaning against a convenient rock, and pulled Janet down to join her; Janet sat in front of her lover, between her legs, leaning back into her chest. Sam wrapped her arms protectively round Janet and hugged her tight. "I wish we could stay here forever, sweetie," she said, wistfully, "this is just perfect."

"I know, Sam," Janet agreed. "Maybe one day, when you don't need to go out and save the world every week, when all the enemies are vanquished. We'll retire up here, refuse any visitors except Cassie and the guys. And we'll spend all day, every day, in bed."

Sam laughed. "It's a date," she promised. And she slid one hand inside Janet's robe. "Who needs to be in bed though?" she asked, seductively.

"Al fresco, huh?" replied Janet, twisting in her arms and reaching up for a kiss. " Well why not?"


	2. Chapter 2 CAREER CHANGE

Sam and Janet enjoyed every minute of the time that they spent at the cabin. It was rare for them to be able to spend so much time together without the myriad distractions of the SGC. Just being able to spend all day every day together, without so much as a television or internet connection to interrupt, was bliss.

On the third morning of their stay, Janet awoke to find the bed next to her empty, but still warm. "Sam?" she called, but her lover wasn't in the bathroom. She looked out of the window, and saw Sam sitting by the river, a dreamy expression on her face.

Ten minutes later, with two mugs of freshly brewed coffee in her hands, Janet joined her lover by the river. "Hey sweetie," she said softly, passing a mug to Sam.

"Jan, you're a mind-reader," Sam said, with a grin, draping her free arm round Janet's shoulders and drawing her to her. "Just what I wanted," and she took a grateful sip.

"So why the early morning?" Janet quizzed her.

"No reason," Sam replied. "Just woke early, and wanted to watch the sun rise. It's beautiful, isn't it, Jan?" And she was right, the sun was just breaking, and reflected magically on the water.

"It sure is, baby," Janet agreed. "Almost as beautiful as you. Almost, not quite," and she drew Sam into a deep kiss. "You taste of coffee!" she laughed, and nestled into her side.

"So how deep d'you reckon the water is here?" Sam had a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

"Two, three meters, I guess," Janet pondered. "It's real deep here, especially on the corner."

"That's what I thought," Sam grinned.

"What are you planning Samantha?" Janet's voice had a warning tone to it.

"A bit of early-morning skinny dipping would be good, I think!" Sam announced triumphantly. And she stood up, dropped her robe on the rock. Totally unselfconsciously, she removed her camisole top, and untied the string holding up her pajama pants. Stepping out of them as they pooled round her ankles, she took a step toward the water's edge. "Tempted?" she asked Janet, in a teasing tone.

Janet gulped; she had been staring unashamedly. "Yes," her voice was husky, "but not by the water."

Sam laughed, as she launched herself into the river, diving expertly into the deepest part. Janet gasped as she saw her; her lithe, athletic body slid almost soundlessly into the water. Sam surfaced, "Jeez," she was breathless, "it's cold as hell in here."

Janet laughed. "Regretting your decision baby?" she teased.

"Not for one moment," Sam told her, "it's beautiful in here, fresh, invigorating. Sure you don't want to join me?"

"I don't think so Sam," Janet replied. "Anyway, I've got a better view of you from here," this much was true; she had a perfect view of the water dripping down Sam's golden skin, and the light from the rising sun just served to emphasize the lusciousness of all Sam's curves. Sam grinned, and dived deep under the crystal clear water.

"You're breathtaking Sam, you know that?" Janet whispered, though Sam couldn't hear her from under the water. She felt the tears gathering in her eyes, and brushed them away with a smile. She didn't think she would ever get used to the beauty of Sam's body. Even after ten years together, Sam still had the power to astonish and delight her. She knew then, as she had never fully known before, just how perfect Sam was for her.

Sam continued to frolic in the water while Janet continued to ogle her openly. The strong muscles of Sam's back and arms were clearly visible, and Janet felt herself hoping that Sam would soon come out and take her back to the bedroom.

After about 20 minutes, Sam finally swam back to the water's edge just by Janet. She slowly - Janet could have sworn she was doing it deliberately - hauled herself out of the water, looking for all the world like a goddess as the water slid down her skin. Wordlessly, Janet held out her robe and Sam stepped into it. She pulled Janet into a deep kiss.

"Bedroom?" Janet's voice was ragged.

"Oh yeah," Sam replied, "right now baby," and she allowed Janet to lead her to their big bed.

It was over three hours later that they finally emerged for a late breakfast. They both ate hungrily, and soon their appetites - all their appetites - had been sated. "What about a hike in the mountains, Sam?" Janet asked. She knew that Sam loved nothing better than to be in the outdoors, and they both regularly hiked in the woods near their home.

"Great idea, baby," Sam agreed, her mouth full of toast. "I can be ready in ten minutes." And she was true to her word, ten minutes later, she was at the door, dressed in jeans and the plaid shirt that she knew was one of Janet's favorites. She was just lacing up her boots when Janet emerged from the bedroom, similarly attired, except for a ridiculous orange woollen hat that she had found in the closet.

"Look what I found!" Janet said, triumphantly. "Have you ever seen anything like it?"

Sam looked up and laughed. "That's some hat, sweetie. Well I won't be losing you on the hike, will I?"

Janet grinned.

They hiked for nearly six hours, and when they returned to the cabin, exhausted, hungry and happy, Janet was disconcerted by the poor stock of food. "Just eggs and bread, hon," she told Sam. "Scrambled eggs on toast do you? We'll have to go to the store later."

"Sounds perfect to me, Jan," Sam agreed. "We should probably have gone yesterday, but somehow we seemed to be too... busy," and she laughed. They had hardly left the bedroom before that morning. "In fact, after lunch, why don't we, uh, 'busy' ourselves for an hour or so? The store doesn't shut until 1800hrs, according to the notice."

"I think that may be one of your better ideas, Samantha Carter," Janet agreed. So that's what they did.

At 1600hrs, Janet awoke and looked at her watch. She reluctantly hauled herself out of the bed, and showered and dressed. She knew that they had to get to the store if they were going to have anything for dinner that night. When she returned from the bathroom, however, she caught sight of Sam's sleeping form, and couldn't bring herself to wake her. Sam was beautiful when she slept; more so now than ever. This was the first time in years that Janet had seen her so completely relaxed, and happy. Even in her sleep, she had a small smile on her face. Janet decided to give her another half hour, and settled herself down in the comfy armchair in the room, and just watched her sleeping beauty. Twenty minutes later, Sam stirred. "What'cha looking at?" she asked Janet, with a lazy grin.

"You," Janet said simply. "I could sit here all day, just watching you."

Sam smiled. "C'm'here," she said gently. "You're too far away."

"We've got to get to the store," Janet protested. "Unless you want Froot Loops for your dinner."

"Forget the store," Sam said. "I'm gonna take you to dinner tonight. We'll find a nice, romantic restaurant. Candles, good wine, soft music, the lot. I want to spoil you baby, you are the most precious thing in my life."

"Oh Sam," Janet's heart melted. "But we haven't got any evening clothes," she was right, Cassie had only packed jeans and tops for them.

"You look perfect just as you are, Jan," Sam's words were heartfelt. "Any restaurant will know that. You look wonderful."

"So we find a steak house then, honey?" Janet laughed.

"Looks that way, doesn't it?" Sam grinned. "And they should consider themselves lucky to have us. Now come here and let me hold you." So Janet kicked off her shoes and climbed back into the bed, where she and Sam drifted off to sleep again.

"I think that was the best vacation ever, don't you, hon?" Sam said to Janet as they neared Colorado Springs on their way back home.

"It was, Sam, it really was," Janet squeezed her hand. "We've got to make sure we do that more often. Cassie was so clever to think of it, and it was such good timing, wasn't it? I wonder how she's getting on."

"She's doing great, Jan," Sam said reassuringly. They had already had two cell text messages from their daughter, who had had a wonderful three days in New York before flying to Ireland, where she was due to spend two weeks before moving to Britain as the first part of the European leg of her trip.

"Yeah, I suppose she is," Janet replied wistfully. "I just worry, you know."

"I know, baby, I know," Sam took her hand. "And that's why we both love you so much."

For once, the next morning neither Sam nor Janet wanted to go into the SGC. They both loved their jobs, but it seemed that they were coming down to Earth with a bump after their five-day retreat. But as they approached the mountain, they both cheered up. Their minds moved to their work, and by the time they had greeted the security guard at the entrance, they were eager to get back to their respective tasks.

They were greeted at the main entrance by, of all people, General O'Neill. "Sir!" Sam said, with real pleasure. "I didn't know you were coming in."

"Last-minute surprise, Carter," he grinned at her. "I have to say, both you and the Doc," he smiled at Janet, it was a standing joke between them that he rarely used her real name, "look very relaxed. Good vacation?"

"The best, Sir," Sam told him, with a broad smile. "Nearly didn't come back."

"Well I'm glad you did, Carter," he said. "I've got something I need to say to you. Well, Landry and I have something to say. Can you come to his office at 1600hrs?"

"Of course," Sam was nonplussed. She knew there was no point in trying to get the information out of the general before the meeting. "I'll be there, Sir."

"Good!" he boomed. "Well, I'm sure you've got lots of emails and... doohickeys... to catch up on. I'll see you later Carter. And you have a good day too Doc!"

"Well I wonder what that was about?" Janet wondered.

"It's likely to do with the future of SG-1," Sam guessed. "Now the Goa'uld and the Ori have been defeated, our duties are bound to change. I'll find out this afternoon, I guess."

"I guess so," Janet agreed. "I have to leave sharp at 1700hrs today, Sam, I've got to pick Toby up from the kennels," they had taken their dog to the kennels while they were away. "Is it okay if I take the car if you're any later than that?"

"Sure, sweetie," Sam said, "I can easily get a ride from Daniel, or somebody, there's always somebody going that way." She looked up and pushed Janet gently against the wall, at one of the 'blind spots' from the security cameras. She kept meaning to get that blind spot fixed, but sometimes it was just so useful. She kissed Janet gently. "I'm not sure how I'll manage a whole day without dragging you to bed, baby," she whispered. "I've loved having you with me all day."

"Back at you, Sam," Janet smiled. "Now off with you, you have doohickeys to see to!"

Sam grinned.

As it turned out, she was kept extremely busy all day, with her 'doohickeys' and much more, and it was 1600hrs before she knew it.

At 1745hrs, a shaken Sam left General Landry's office. Her mind was in turmoil. She cornered an airman and got a ride home; she couldn't stay at the mountain any longer, not after turning down the job offer that Generals O'Neill and Landry had made. It was a good job, the best in some ways, but there was no way she could leave Janet. Never.

Sam let herself into the house, and was almost knocked over by an over-excited Toby. He hadn't seen Sam for nearly a week, and he had always been boisterous. Sam knelt down to greet him. When Janet saw the pair of them, a subdued Sam was on her knees, her head buried in the affectionate dog's neck.

"Hey sweetie," she called, oblivious to Sam's distress. "How was your meeting, did it go well?"

Sam looked up, and for the first time, Janet noticed her red-rimmed eyes. "Not really," Sam told her in a small voice.

"Sam, what's wrong?" Janet asked, worried at this sudden change in her lover's demeanor. "Has something happened?"

Sam shook her head. "I'm fine Jan. It was a job offer, but I'm not going to take it. Made me think, is all. But I'm not taking it."

"What was the offer?" Janet asked her.

"I don't really want to talk about it, baby, do you mind?" Sam's voice trembled. "I will tell you, I'll tell you everything. Right now I just want to clear my head. I think I'll go for a run. I'll take Toby, he looks like he needs some exercise. We'll go to the park, do a circuit, and then come back. Is that okay, Jan?"

Janet cupped her face in her hands. "Of course it's okay, honey," her voice was gentle. "You take all the time you need."

"I'll just get changed, and then we'll be back within the hour. Thank you Jan," Sam said.

"For what?" asked Janet.

"For understanding. For giving me space. We'll talk when I get back, okay?"

"Yes, sweetie, that's okay. It's all okay," Janet promised.

Just over an hour later, Sam returned to the house; Toby was exhausted, and Sam was also breathing hard.

Janet met her in the hallway. "I've drawn a bath for you Sam," she told her, handing her a glass of wine. "I've used your favorite bubble bath, it's all ready for you."

Sam smiled in gratitude. As she lowered herself into the warm depths, she thanked God again for getting her together with Janet, who understood her better than anybody else in the world.

After about ten minutes, there was a knock on the door. "Okay if I come in?" Janet called.

"Of course, sweetie," Sam replied.

Janet let herself in, and sat down on the toilet lid. She reached into the bath, and took Sam's hand. "I called General O'Neill while you were out, Sam" Sam blanched at this statement. "And I think you should take the job."

"No!" Sam almost shouted. "No way, Jan. I'm not leaving you. It's not just a different city, Janet, it's a whole different galaxy. Atlantis is the Pegasus galaxy, it's not like I could see you every evening, or even every weekend. I couldn't cope with that. And it's not fair on you; Cassie's away for a year. You'd be all alone."

"Not quite alone," Janet smiled. "I've got Toby."

Sam tried to smile in reply, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. "I couldn't do it baby, I just couldn't. These last few days have shown me that."

"Sam, listen to me," Janet said. "They need you. The general told me that there is nobody more qualified, more suitable than you, to take this job. Atlantis needs you now that they've lost Weir. And it would be great for your career."

"Screw my career," Sam replied, bitterly. Janet was startled; Sam hardly ever swore, but more shockingly this was the first time she had shown any antipathy toward the Air Force. "You mean more to me than my lousy career."

"And you do to me too, hon," Janet told her. "But this is about more than your career; it's about you being needed more in Atlantis than you are here. And it wouldn't be for ever. O'Neill reckons about 18 months at the most, once you get things running smoothly, and organize a proper defense against the Wraith, you can come back. He also says," she could see Sam opening her mouth to object, "that I could visit regularly. And you'd come back to Earth every six weeks or so. We'd see each other every couple of weeks. Yes, I know, it would be hard. But one thing that these last few days has shown *me* is that our relationship is strong enough to survive anything. God knows I don't want you to go. But I think you should. Think about it, baby."

Janet looked directly at Sam, and saw the tears running down her face. Janet stood up, and swiftly undressed. "Move over, honey," she said gently, and climbed into the bath behind Sam. She wrapped her arms round her taller lover, and rocked her gently. "Shh, baby," she whispered. "It'll be okay."

The next morning, Sam quietly let herself out of Landry's office. She made her way down to the infirmary, and knocked on Janet's office door. Janet looked up, and jumped up from her chair. She took both of Sam's hands, and looked her straight in the eye. "You okay, sweetie?" she asked.

"It's done," Sam said, in a shaky voice. "I leave in a week. But," and her expression was fierce, "I told him I need to see you regularly. That was a deal-breaker as far as I'm concerned. He's fine with that; says Keller could do with some help setting up quarantine procedures and the like. So you'll be visiting, and I'll be coming back. Often." She tried to smile.

"Keller?" Janet asked.

"The new doctor, she's only just joined," Sam explained.

"She?" Janet teased. "I'm wondering if I should be pushing you to go after all! How old is this Keller?"

"Mid-twenties, I think," Sam smiled back. "Don't worry, honey, I prefer a more mature woman, someone with a bit more experience. Someone a bit shorter, too!" she grinned. Janet's height, or lack thereof, had long been a standing joke between them.

"Well you make sure you don't change your tastes when you're in a different galaxy," Janet said firmly.

"Never," Sam's voice was sincere. "You're the perfect woman for me. You always have been, and you always will be. Always."


	3. Chapter 3 LEAVING

"I found it!" Janet's tone was triumphant. She had been rifling in her office for the last ten minutes, and Sam had started to wonder what she was up to. They had only just got home from the SGC, and she was still trying to absorb the enormity of what she had told General Landry that morning. She really was leaving, to run Atlantis. Without Janet by her side.

She still wasn't convinced that she was up to the job, or up to living alone again. She had lived on her own for too long before Janet had come into her life and brought light and life into it like never before. She had never realized until she met Janet how lonely and unfulfilled she was; she had assumed that she was happy with her lot, but after getting together with the sexy medic, she realized she had been, at best, content. Yes, she loved her job, and she was passionate about science, and of course the wonders of the Stargate had opened up many new and exciting opportunities. But nothing compared to the excitement of being with Janet - or of being loved by Janet, which was surely the most exquisite feeling in the world. All the worlds.

And now Janet was advancing toward her, an evil grin on her face, with one hand behind her back. "I was wondering where I'd put this," she said, laughter in her voice. "And just in case that Keller gets the wrong idea, or you can't shake the habit of dropping in to the infirmary to make out with the medic in charge, I think I should use this. It's always best to state your intentions right from the beginning, don't you think?"

"Janet Fraiser!" Sam was trying not to laugh; she had no idea what Janet meant. "Just what are you up to?"

"Just wait," and Janet took her free hand and unbuttoned Sam's jeans, dragging the thick material down. "On your face on the bed," she ordered, a distinct smirk on her face.

Sam couldn't imagine what Janet was about to do but, she reasoned, she had never once regretted getting on the bed at Janet's behest. So she did as she was instructed, and lay face down on the bed, her jeans pulled down almost to her knees. Janet approached the bed, and gently pulled her panties to one side, exposing one buttock. Sam was startled when she felt the press of rubber against her backside. "What in the hell was that?" she demanded.

Janet was doubled up with laughter. "Mirror," she managed to say at last. "Look in the mirror."

So, very inelegantly, Sam slid off the bed, and backed up to the full-length mirror. There was writing on her backside that she couldn't quite decipher. Janet handed her the small hand mirror, and she angled it so that she could see, in reflection, what it said. In red, in small capitals, was the phrase:

"PROPERTY OF FRAISER, J. MD"

Sam recognized the writing from where she had seen it stamped in some of Janet's books. She remembered that Janet had told her she had had to get the stamp made up in her previous post at the Air Force hospital, as too many of her books were 'borrowed' from her office and were never returned. Sam barked with laughter. "You know, Jan, I think I may just get that tattooed on my butt!"

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

The next week went far too fast for Sam and Janet, and before they knew it, it was Saturday, with Sam due to leave for Atlantis on the following Monday.

The week had been frenetic; it seemed that the preparation for Sam's new posting was endless. She also had to hand over a lot of her technical work to Dr Lee and his team, so that involved seemingly interminable explanations and the setting out of manuals and instructions, as well as hands-on training.

Sam was glad, in a way, to be so busy. Much as she would have liked to just spend the week with Janet, she knew it wasn't possible. So keeping herself occupied was the best thing. What she hated, though, was that almost every night she was kept late at the SGC, which she greatly resented. She only had a few evenings left with Janet, and she wanted to make the most of them.

Janet was understanding, as usual; she could see that Sam was itching to get away in the evenings, to come back to her. After the Monday evening, when a - frankly pissy - Sam didn't get back until 2100hrs, she decided to try and make it easier for her. So when she finished work officially at 1730hrs, she didn't leave the mountain but instead made her way to Sam's lab. She didn't want to distract her lover, but she wanted to be with her. So she settled herself in a chair in the lab, sometimes getting up to give Sam a back rub, while Sam worked.

"I could get used to this," Sam said to her sadly on the Friday, as she finally finished her last report. "Writing reports is so much easier knowing you're here. I don't know if I can do it, Jan, I don't know if I can be away from you for all that time. I even miss you when you're here with me, and I have to focus on my work instead of on you. I'm a mess, Jan."

"Shh," Janet reassured her, coming up behind her and embracing her tightly. "You'll be okay, Sam, I know it. You're the bravest and strongest person I know, you can do it baby. And I'll see you all the time, don't forget that. We'll be okay."

"Will we?" Sam's voice shook. "D'you really believe that Janet?"

"Of all the things I know, honey, that's the one I'm clearest on. We can survive anything. And we'll come out even stronger. Are you all done, baby? I want to take you home, I want to enjoy our last weekend together for a while. We've got the guys coming over for lunch on Sunday, so I want to make the most of the time we have alone."

Sam sniffed, and looked up at her lover. "I'm done, honey. And I'm sorry, I know this is probably harder on you than it is on me. It'll all be fine, I know it. And you'll be coming out in three weeks, won't you?"

Sam and Janet had agreed that they should leave a three-week gap to start with, so that they could both adjust and so that Sam, in particular, could get used to her new role without distractions.

"You try and stop me, sweetie," Janet said, with a grin. "Undomesticated equines, as Teal'c would say, wouldn't keep me away."

"That's okay, then," Sam whispered. "Let's go, shall we?"

Janet took her hand and led her out of her lab. "I'll drive, shall I?" she saw the lines of fatigue in Sam's face.

"D'you mind baby?" Sam asked.

"Of course I don't mind. And I think we should pick up some take-out on the way back, and then we'll get an early night," Janet suggested.

Sam nodded her acquiescence. "I love you Jan," she said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

That Friday night was magical. Once they had left the SGC, Sam made a concerted effort to forget all about work and to focus just on Janet; that was the least that she deserved. And Sam also wanted to take some special memories with her, to keep her going for those first few weeks when she knew she would miss Janet more than ever.

So they picked up take-out and sat with a bottle of wine in the kitchen. Janet became particularly playful, and kept sneaking food from Sam's plate and just generally acting dumb. When Janet got up to get a second bottle of wine, she stopped behind Sam and she stole a particularly juicy morsel of chicken from her. "Hey!" Sam objected, laughing.

"Surely you wouldn't refuse me a small mouthful of food, would you Colonel?" Janet batted her eyelashes, and reached down to give Sam a mind-blowingly passionate kiss.

"Unnhh," Sam replied, seeming to lose the power of speech. "Guess not," she grabbed Janet round the waist, and pulled her onto her lap. She grinned. "Got'cha," she said.

"So you have, Sam," Janet's tone was flirty and playful. "What'cha gonna do about it?"

"This," Sam told her, and kissed her thoroughly. "Any objections?"

"Oh no," Janet's voice was ragged. "None at all, Colonel. None at all."

The rest of the meal was abandoned as the two women staggered upstairs, hands and tongues all over each other; they felt like horny teenagers discovering each other for the first time.

Sam marveled at the feelings that Janet elicited in her; even after all this time together, being with Janet was still surprising, and beautiful. She didn't think she had ever seen a woman who was more beautiful, or sexy, than her lover. "Thank God for you baby," she whispered to her lover as they lay in a post-coital heap three hours later. "I think I could do just about anything as long as I can come back to you afterward."

"I'll always be waiting, Sam," Janet told her sincerely. "I think I'd wait for you for ever; and longer."

"We'll be okay for three weeks, won't we hon?" Sam asked her.

"Oh yeah," Janet agreed. "And we'll have all this to look forward to. Imagine how great we'll be together after three dry weeks. It'll be worth waiting for Sam, I'm sure of that."

Sam smiled, and pulled Janet to her. She kissed her softly. "It will, baby," she whispered, "it really will."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

The next day, Saturday, Janet took charge of Sam's clothes packing. The blonde scientist was unusually indecisive about what she should take with her; Janet could tell that this was because her mind was in a turmoil. So she asked Sam gently if she wanted her to take over, and Sam gratefully accepted. She had a lot of other preparation to do, in terms of setting up her laptop and fine-tuning her hand-held computer and endless other tasks. She also wanted to set up an encrypted email system, so that she and Janet could email each other in complete privacy when she was in the Pegasus galaxy. So she was happy that Janet had volunteered. It saved time, too, and meant that they would have more time together. Anything that gave them even one extra uninterrupted hour together was worth it.

One of the hardest things that Sam had had to do in the last week was to phone Cassandra and tell her of her decision. Cassie was, as she had expected, entirely supportive of her but, also to be expected, she was worried about Janet. "I can come back, Sam," she offered immediately. "I don't have to do this now. I don't want Mom to be on her own, I know how badly she misses you, even on short missions. I'll catch the next 'plane back."

"No, Cass," Sam had insisted gently. "It was your Mom's decision; I wasn't going to go, and she persuaded me. She says they need me more there. And if you came back, she'd be really pissed. She knows - we both know - that this trip is the best thing for you right now. So you mustn't interrupt it. We'll be fine, anyway, we've already got plans to get together every few weeks. And we both still plan to meet you half way through your trip, I'll get vacation."

So Cassie had been persuaded, reluctantly, to continue on her trip. "I'll call Mom all the time, Sam," she promised, and Sam knew that this was a promise she would keep.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Well you're all packed, sweetie," Janet came up behind Sam in the study, and wrapped her arms round her from behind.

Sam was working on Janet's computer. "Thanks honey," she said, "that's great, I hate packing. I'm setting up a secure email, Jan," she explained. "Whenever the 'gate opens from the Midway Station, any emails from me will be forwarded, and vice-versa. I've set up a buffer system at Midway to store all electronic communications to and from Earth and Atlantis. The system's completely encrypted, so we don't have to worry about anybody else reading the messages. So you can write what you want, baby," Sam smiled at her lover. "It'll be for my eyes only."

Janet grinned back. "That's good, Sam. I expect I may want to use the email to get rid of my... frustrations..."

"I was hoping you would," Sam said, "I'll be feeling the same way, I'm sure."

"Three weeks is all," Janet reminded her. "One step at a time, remember. Don't think of it as being apart for 18 months, only for a few weeks at a time. And we'll make up for lost time when we're together."

"We will, hon, we will," Sam agreed. "And we'll take those two weeks in November when we meet up with Cass, I can't wait for that."

Janet smiled. "Hold that thought, Sam, hold that thought."

Sam finished fixing all the computers by mid-afternoon, so she and Janet decided to take Toby for a long walk. The dog had been very patient in the last week. He was spoiled during the day by their neighbors Tom and Susan, who 'babysat' him during the working day, but he had not had much attention in the evenings, as Sam had been working late each night, with Janet keeping her company. So they set off for the park, which Toby just loved. He particularly liked it when they let him off the leash, so he could throw himself into the pond there; this didn't happen often, as he always emerged covered in mud.

Today, once they reached the park, Janet leant down and undid Toby's leash. "You know what that means, don't you hon?" Sam asked her with a smile. "He's gonna get filthy."

"That's okay, Sam," Janet said. "We all have to let go sometimes, don't we?"

They spent about two hours walking round and round the huge park, hand in hand, before they summoned a filthy, exhausted but happy Toby, and clipped the leash back on his collar before they set off home.

Once they got back, Sam took the muddy dog into the garden where she gave him a thorough clean with the hosepipe, while Janet set to making the dinner.

After dinner, they sat together on the couch, just holding each other and saying very little. After a couple of hours, without needing to say anything, they alighted from the couch and went upstairs. There, they took a long shower together, and then made their way to the bedroom. As always, their lovemaking was passionate and tender, but Janet felt that this time she could detect a quiet desperation in Sam. She wasn't surprised, therefore, when Sam started to weep softly in her arms afterwards. She didn't know what to do to ease her lover's misery, so she just held her and rocked her gently in her arms, whispering soothing words to her. In truth, she felt just as miserable herself, but she wanted to remain strong for Sam. She knew that the decision had been a real wrench for her, and it was only her strong sense of duty that had tipped the balance toward taking the job.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet had noticed a shift change in Sam over the past few years. Before, Sam had been a keen 'career-girl', and nothing would sway her from her determination to climb as far as she could get in the Air Force. After a few years with Janet, though, it was as if Sam had decided that that didn't matter so much any more. She was still totally committed to her job, and continued to prove herself, time and time again, in the field. She still put her own safety last in her determination to get her team home safely, and her bravery and compassion had gotten her into trouble more times than Janet could count. Janet loved to see her as much as she could, but she wished that her visits to the infirmary were social rather than her being there so often as a patient.

Janet felt now that Sam was content and relaxed about her position at the SGC. She was the unacknowledged second in command of the base, she was the one everybody turned to in times of need, and she always had an answer. But Janet believed that she no longer craved high office, and that if she stayed a colonel for the rest of her career, she really didn't think it would worry her. She loved her work, but she loved her family more.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Eventually, Sam fell off to sleep, wrapped tightly in Janet's loving arms. Janet looked down at her pale, drawn face and realized that this latest career change really had put the pressure on her. Janet felt a pang of guilt for pushing her lover into making the decision. But she knew that if Sam didn't take the job, and there were serious casualties as a result of that decision, Sam wouldn't be able to live with herself. Atlantis was in crisis, and needed an intelligent, compassionate, military leader who could steer them in the right direction. Nobody was better suited to that task than Colonel Samantha Carter. And it was not for ever, Janet reminded herself, stifling a sob.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

The next day flew by. The 'guys' came over for lunch, and they all made a big fuss of Sam. "You're gonna be 'The Man', Carter, you realize that?" O'Neill had teased her.

"I've learned from the best, Sir," Sam grinned, "I think I'll be able to handle that."

"I don't doubt it for a moment," O'Neill replied, serious for once. "You'll be an excellent leader. And Carter," he winked, "they wear a lot of leather there, you know."

"That's why I persuaded her to take the job," Janet interjected, with a broad wink. "And that's one of the reasons I plan to head out there regularly!"

Sam blushed at Janet's insinuations, and pretended she hadn't heard.

All too soon, O'Neill, Daniel and Teal'c were leaving. "It's only 1430hrs," Sam protested. "You don't have to go."

Daniel enveloped her in a tight hug. "You need this time with Janet," he whispered in her ear. "Be kind to yourself, Sam, you swear?"

Sam's eyes filled with tears as she returned his hug, and embraced both Teal'c and O'Neill. "See you soon, guys," her voice was small and emotional.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Later than day, Sam 'phoned Cassie for the last time before she left; Janet left her to do this in privacy, and pretended not to notice her red-rimmed eyes afterward.

All too soon, it was time to go to bed. Sam had checked, and re-checked that she had everything for the morning. Her dress blues were pressed and crisp, and everything was boxed up and ready in the living room.

Janet slid into the bed next to Sam, and wrapped her arms round her. Sam turned and snuggled into her chest. "Don't want to make love tonight," Sam said in a half-whisper. "Just want to hold you. Is that okay baby?"

"That's okay by me, sweetie," Janet understood how she felt, as it mirrored her own feelings on the subject. "We'll just be together."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

After several hours, though, it was clear to Janet that Sam was still awake. She sat up slightly, still holding Sam tight. "You're not gonna sleep tonight, are you Sam?" she asked her in a quiet voice.

Sam's eyes opened. "I don't think so Jan," she said. "I'm sorry. I've tried, I really have."

"Shh," Janet ran her hand through Sam's long, thick hair. "I know you have baby, I know you have. What'cha want to do? Shall we just talk?"

"Is that okay?" Sam was hesitant.

"It is Sam. Just promise me one thing," Janet peered into her lover's face.

"Anything, Jan," Sam said.

"Catch up on your sleep at Midway. If I give you something, will you swear to me that you'll take it when you get there? You need to be at full strength when you take over at Atlantis, honey."

"Okay," Sam agreed.

"What shall we talk about?" Janet asked.

"I dunno," Sam replied. "How about you tell me something I don't know about you, and I'll tell you something you don't know about me?"

"You know everything about me, Sam. I can't think of anything you don't know," Janet was stumped.

"What about your first memory?" Sam suggested. "Something you remember from your childhood, that you've never told anybody."

Janet pondered, and slowly a grin crept across her face. "Orange!" she said, triumphantly. "I remember being in my stroller, with an orange blanket. I loved that blanket, I slept with it for years. But yes, I think that's my first memory, chewing the corner of that orange blanket as my Mom pushed me in the stroller. I suppose that's why orange is my favorite color to this day. I wonder what happened to that blanket? I must ask Mom if she's still got it somewhere."

Sam smiled. "I like that, I like the idea of you at that age. You know, I don't think I've ever seen a photo of you that young, I think in the earliest photograph I've seen, you're about six."

"Mom and Dad lost several albums in a house fire," Janet remembered, "so there aren't many of me at that age. But there are some, I'm sure. I'll see if Mom can find anything, and if she does, I'll bring a photograph with me to Atlantis, I promise."

"I'd like that," Sam said. "I want to know everything about you."

"What about you, Sam?" Janet asked. "Tell me your first memory."

Sam's face clouded over slightly before she pulled herself together and schooled the expression on her face. Janet wasn't fooled though. "What is it, baby?"

Sam laughed, feeling a little foolish. "It's dumb," she said, laughing at herself.

"I don't care, I wanna know," Janet said. "We should know everything about each other, remember?"

"Okay, Jan," Sam said, "but you'll probably laugh. My first memory is of bubbles."

Janet grinned. "Bubbles?"

"Yeah," Sam smiled. "You know, those little pots of bubbles, with the stick with a hoop, you blow bubbles out of it. I remember Mark blowing those at me when I was just a young kid. I remember wondering even then how bubbles could exist. I mean, it's not like I knew anything about surface tension then, they just seemed like magic to me."

"That's beautiful Sam," Janet said in a soft voice. "But how come it makes you sad?"

"It's really dumb," Sam tried to smile. "But I remember reaching out, and the bubble burst in my hand. I thought I'd broken the magic, that I'd done something terrible. I remember I cried for hours. Only Mom understood why I was so upset. But I remember that feeling so clearly; something had gone wrong, and would be forever missing. I mean," she laughed at herself, "I got over it! But when Mom died, it was as though I was having the same feelings, and I recognized it. Something was wrong, and would never be right again," tears had gathered in her eyes. "And that feeling never really went away. Not until I met you," she looked up at Janet. "I've never felt that way since. You complete me Janet."

Janet's heart just melted. "Are you feeling that way again now, baby?" she asked gently.

"I thought I was, a bit," Sam admitted, "but I'm not now. I know you'll always be there, and we'll talk every day. So the feeling's not the same this time. We'll never really be apart, even if we are in different galaxies for a while."

"Never," Janet affirmed. "We'll always be together. It's meant to be."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

As Sam stepped through the wormhole to Atlantis, she felt Janet with her every step of the way. She turned to the team, "I want you all to know how honored I am to accept this appointment," she said. "I've come here fully committed to this expedition, to Atlantis, and most importantly, to each and every one of you. I look forward to working with all of you. Thank you."

She looked away briefly, and in her mind's eye, she could see her lover, and knew that she approved. "It's going to be okay, Janet," she whispered to herself, unheard by others. "We're gonna be fine." And she squared her shoulders and set off toward her new job, her new life.


	4. Chapter 4 DISTANCE

Janet couldn't bear to watch Sam's departure from the 'gate room, or even the observation room. She knew it would be too much for her to bear, and she also knew that it would only make it harder on Sam, and that was the last thing she wanted to do.

So she sat in her office, watching Sam leaving on the small monitor she had had installed so as to gain advance warning of incoming medical emergencies. Sam was so strong, and so brave, as she stepped on to the ramp. She must have known Janet was watching from her office though; after shaking hands with the general, she gave a quick glance up at the camera that fed the CCTV system and gave a quick, brave smile. This went unnoticed by anybody in the 'gate room, but Janet, who knew it was just for her, saw it and knew its meaning. Her breath caught in her throat; she thought her heart would break as Sam stepped through the wormhole. At the same time, though, she had never been so proud of her lover, who was doing the right thing but was sacrificing so much in the doing of it.

Janet swallowed and looked down at her hands, unsurprised to see them shaking. She knew she was on the verge of losing control of her emotions. So preoccupied was she in trying to regain control of herself that she didn't notice the soft knock at the door, nor did she see General O'Neill come in. It was only as he put a gentle hand on her shoulder that she started, noticing him for the first time.

"You okay Doc?" he asked, none of the usual abrasiveness in his voice.

Janet sniffed. "I'm fine," she lied.

"Yeah, looks that way to me too," he smiled understandingly. "C'mere," and he wrapped her in his strong arms. "She'll be back, sooner than you know it," he said soothingly, rubbing his hand over her back as she started to weep. "And she'll probably get into much less trouble there; fewer missions, not so hands-on. She's 'The Man' now, remember? 'The Man' hardly ever gets hurt."

"I know," Janet's voice was muffled. "I just want her here. With me. Where I can keep her safe."

"That's one thing about being with somebody like Carter," he told her softly, "she's not the sort of woman you can keep safe. But she's a remarkable person, the best soldier I've ever served with. She'll be fine, Doc. C'mon, let's get you home, you look like you haven't slept for a week."

Janet shook her head. "Can't," she said miserably. "I'm on duty for another two hours."

"Not any more you're not," O'Neill said. "I've cleared it with Landry. I'm giving you a ride back right now," Janet tried to interrupt, "Danny's following in your car. It's all arranged. You going to argue with a superior officer?" he tried to lighten the atmosphere.

"No Sir," Janet tried to smile. "I guess not."

So he led the shaken medic to his truck and settled her in the passenger seat. He reached round to the back seat, and brought out a warm soft blanket which he wrapped round Janet's shoulders. "Thank you Sir," Janet's voice was small.

"One thing, Doc," O'Neill said, "it's Jack. When we're off duty. We've been friends for long enough, wouldn't you say?"

"Okay, Jack," Janet found using his first name easier than she would have expected. "In that case it's Janet."

"Okay, Janet," O'Neill smiled. "Let's hit that road."

Within 40 minutes, he was drawing up to her house. Janet was almost asleep, rousing only as the engine turned off. O'Neill was at her door in seconds, and offered her his arm as they made their way up to the front porch. She took it gratefully; the emotions of the past few days, combined with the lack of sleep the night before, were all beginning to catch up with her, and she felt distinctly wobbly.

As he settled her on the couch, Daniel arrived in Janet's car. "See if you can find something for the doc to eat," O'Neill asked him. "I'll bet you missed lunch today in all the excitement, am I right Janet?" he asked.

Janet nodded. "Not real hungry," her voice wasn't much above a whisper.

"Something plain then," O'Neill was firm. In less than ten minutes, Daniel emerged with a bowl of oatmeal. Janet managed almost two thirds of this before she pushed it to one side. She was drained and just wanted to sleep. So the guys walked her upstairs, even though she was more than capable of managing that on her own. "Want help undressing?" O'Neill asked her cheekily, winking as he spoke.

"Think I've got it covered, Jack," Janet told him. "Thanks though, guys, I don't know what I'd do without you."

At that moment, the doorbell rang. "That'll be Teal'c," O'Neill said. "Let him in Danny."

"Guys, what's goin' on?" Janet asked.

"We're staying. Just tonight, don't worry, we're not moving in. But I promised Carter we'd stay tonight, just in case there's anything you need. Anyway, who's going to give Toby his evening walk if Teal'c doesn't?" O'Neill asked.

"You're sweet, but there's no need, really," Janet protested.

"I'm sure you're right, but I don't have the courage to explain to a pissed-off Carter why we didn't do what she asked. Do you Danny?" Daniel shook his head. "Teal'c?"

"It is my understanding that Colonel Carter's instructions were not in any way ambiguous," intoned the huge alien who by then had also come upstairs. "I would not wish to countermand her orders." He smiled slightly at this statement, but Janet knew they were immovable, so she gave in.

"Okay," she said, oddly reassured at their presence, and also moved by Sam's thoughtfulness at ensuring that she would not be alone on her first night. She only wished that Sam had someone at Midway, but she knew that she was alone there. "There are spare blankets in the cupboard, there are beds in the two guest rooms, the couch..."

"Ack!" O'Neill put his hands in the air. "We've got it covered Doc. Janet, I mean," he amended. "Sleep now. And we're here if you need us. For anything."

Janet smiled her thanks, and closed the door. She changed swiftly, used the bathroom, and sank gratefully into the soft bed. She could still smell Sam's shampoo on her pillow, so she clutched this to her chest and settled down for the night.

Despite her exhaustion, sleep did not come easily to Janet, and when it did, it was plagued with nightmares. Twice she woke up sobbing, and on both of those occasions, she found herself in soft, strong male arms, soothing her back to sleep. She didn't even know which of they guys it was, but she was grateful for their kindness. Finally, she was overtaken by sleep around 2300hrs, and the rest of the night was undisturbed.

When she stumbled downstairs at her usual working hour of 0630hrs, she was surprised, and delighted, to find all the guys sitting in her kitchen, drinking coffee, eating donuts (courtesy of Teal'c who had made an early-morning excursion to acquire them), and laughing. She drank some coffee, ate a donut despite her sarcastic remarks about healthy breakfasts, and went upstairs to shower and dress. This left her twenty minutes to check her computer. She didn't imagine that Sam would have had time to email her, but just in case she wanted to look.

She was thrilled when her computer beeped, and she saw an email from ''.

_"Hey Jan,_

" the email began.

_"Well I've made it to Midway, safe and sound. It's kinda weird, being here, like I'm in suspended animation, waiting for my new life to begin._

_But it's good, to have this time to think and take stock of all that's important in my life. I'm excited about this new challenge, and I'm going to do my utmost to be the best leader that I can. Atlantis is an amazing place, and it's doing a lot of good work. I hope, and pray, that I'm up to the job of leading the expedition, and that I won't let them, or you, down. I'm certainly going to try._

_I've been away from you a total of four hours, and already I hate looking up and not seeing you there. Everything seems kinda grey without you. But I'm not really without you; you're with me in my every thought, my every deed. And in three weeks you'll be with my in my arms too. So I know that I can do this, that we can do it. We'll make a success of this new chapter, and when the chapter comes to an end, we'll be even stronger._

_I'm feeling strong now, baby, and that's because I know I have you behind me, every step of the way. I couldn't do something like this without you; knowing that you are there makes everything possible. And, of course, I'm with you in all you do, too. I don't think I'll ever understand how you manage to deal with the responsibilities of the infirmary, all day every day, with the health of everybody at the SGC on your shoulders - to say nothing of all the aliens you've had to treat over the years. I'm in awe of you. You are an extraordinary woman._

_I'm going to try and sleep now, honey; I'm just about to take the sleeping pill, I swear. It'll be tomorrow by the time you see this email, so I hope that you managed to sleep too? I'm so sorry I kept you awake that last night, it was selfish of me to want to spend every last moment with you. I hope you didn't mind me sending the guys round last night; I couldn't bear to think of you on your own._

_All my love, sweetie, to you and to Cassie._

_S."_

Janet read the email three times, then wiped her eyes and made her way downstairs again. She was surprised to see the kitchen empty.

_"See you at the SGC! J O'Neill"_

read the note on the table. She was glad, she wanted this time to herself in her car on the way to work. And of course she'd need the car to come home later, so it was all good.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet had been at work for nearly two hours when the infirmary 'phone rang. "Fraiser," she barked into the mouthpiece.

"Mom!" Cassie's voice sounded as close as if she were in the next room. "How are you?"

Janet smiled with delight at the sound of her daughter's voice.

"I'm great, Cass, how are you? And WHERE are you, more to the point?" Janet asked.

"I'm great too, Mom. I'm in Scotland. Well, I'm on the train leaving Scotland at the moment. I'm going to stop at Liverpool on the way down, and then I'm gonna spend six weeks in London. If I can get work, that is. It's going great, Mom, Scotland's so beautiful. And I'm very excited about London," Cassie was bubbling over with enthusiasm.

"That's good to hear, Cass," Janet said with real warmth. "I'm so pleased it's all going well. Tell me, have you made any friends yet?"

"I've met some real nice people, and I've got a few numbers. Nobody from London unfortunately, but I've found somewhere to stay using the internet. Cheap and clean, can't ask for more than that!"

"True enough," Janet laughed.

"Enough about me," Cassie said, "how was yesterday? Have you heard from Sam? Is she okay?"

"Yesterday was tough," Janet admitted. "But Sam made the guys stay over with me last night, and they were great. They're like a family, aren't they? And yes, I got an email from Sam this morning. She sent it from Midway, so there's not much to report yet. But she was sounding good, strong and ready for the job. She sent her love to you."

"Well you send her mine when you next speak or email, won't you? Tell her I think she's amazing. I think both of my moms are amazing, actually. Look, I'd better go Mom. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"You don't have to call every day, honey," Janet told her, "I'm okay, I really am."

"Hey, it's no problem. Anyway," Cassie laughed, "I'm not the one paying the 'phone bill!" It was true, Sam had forced her to accept the cellphone and told her to use it all she wanted, she would pay for it. Cassie had been reluctant at first, wanting to be truly independent, but she realized it was really more for Sam's and her mom's peace of mind, so she had agreed. "You're really okay though?" her tone was concerned.

"I'm fine, sweetie. I miss her, terribly, but I'm okay. And so is she. And so are you, by the sound of it. You be careful out there, Cass?"

"I will, Mom, I swear," Cassie said. "I'll speak to you tomorrow."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Cassie had greatly enjoyed her times in Ireland and Scotland, and was now looking forward to exploring all of London and its environs. She had provisionally decided to spend six weeks living and, she hoped, working in London. From there, she could not only explore the city, but also hoped to take day trips out from there to major tourist attractions such as Bath, Stonehenge, Stratford-upon-Avon and more. All would depend, of course, on whether she could make it financially viable, but she was optimistic.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

When Sam stepped through the wormhole into Atlantis, she knew she had made the right decision. The team was a good one, even, God bless him, McKay, who was just as irritating as she had remembered. His arrogance was tempered this time with a certain obnoxious obsequiousness, which she hoped soon to eliminate. Even more irritating was his ongoing crush on her, which used to be amusing but was now beginning to wear rather thin. But he was a brilliant scientist, she had to admit that.

Not everybody welcomed her with open arms, however; she knew she was going to have to earn Ronon's trust. She also felt that Teyla wasn't yet completely at ease with her position of command, though she felt that she would at least be open to her suggestions. Sam didn't mind that, she was used to earning respect, and had never yet failed to make a positive impression.

_"My darling Janet,"_

Sam wrote in her by-now daily email.

_"Well it's been six days, hon, and it's going okay. How are things with you? Daniel tells me they've persuaded you to go to dinner with them this weekend, I hope you're not going to change your mind? Just look out for Teal'c, he'll refuse to go anywhere that doesn't have strawberry cheesecake on the menu. At least they aren't inviting you for 'movie night', I think Teal'c probably seen Star Wars thirty times by now, but it's still top of his list."_

Janet chuckled at this.

_"I'm missing you so much sweetie, but it's just over two weeks now until I feel your arms around me, and that's got to be worth waiting for._

_I really like the team they have here. They are still, understandably, wary of me, but that's a good sign. I'm not sure I'd have wanted to work with people who didn't worry at all about the loss of a leader like Elizabeth. They're good people, loyal and brave. Rodney's still driving me crazy, but that's only to be expected. He's actually really good at his job, and while I've already had to bite my tongue and force myself not to interfere, he does talk a lot of sense - scientifically at least. He's stopped following me around like a lost puppy, thank God, but I think it's going to be a while before he gets over his crush. He's crazy, he's the only one here who knows I'm gay; you'd think he'd have given up by now. God sure loves a trier!_

_I'm hoping your week's going well, and that you haven't had too much to deal with in the infirmary. Are you sleeping, baby? I am, most of the time, though it's not the same without you beside me. It's the early mornings that are the hardest, when I turn over and reach out for you, and you're not there. But I'm keeping well, and feeling strong. There's a lot of work to do here, and I'm enjoying the challenge. Thank you, sweetie, for persuading me to come._

_Just promise me that you're taking care of yourself? I love you so much, and am praying that you're well and happy._

_All my love, as always._

_S."_

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Cassie arrived at London's Euston train station euphoric and full of excitement. She had always wanted to see the city and now, she hoped, she was going to spend six weeks there.

She lost no time in booking into a cheap hostel that she had researched on the internet. She had decided it was sensible to pre-book for three nights, so that at least she had somewhere to stay while she explored other options.

To start with, the transport system in the bustling city was a bit unnerving; there was nothing quite like London's Victorian subway stations in Colorado Sprints. She soon got the hang of it, however, having had some practice in New York at the beginning of her trip.

So on the afternoon of the first day, Cassie found herself in Covent Garden in London, a place she'd heard much about, but had never seen. The day was warm and sunny and dry - something she had not been expecting, having heard much about the country's reputation for rain - and she was entranced by the hustle and bustle of the place. She sat down in the middle at a small cafe, and enjoyed watching the street theater that was a renowned feature of the area.

After finishing her coffee, she got up and started to explore. She hadn't gone far when she came across an old-fashioned bookstore in one of the side streets. Cassie was a sucker for books, and could never resist bookstores. This one was even more exciting, as it seemed that all the books it contained were second-hand, and some of them very old by the look of it. She was just looking through one of the shelves, when she came across a very old, leather-bound copy of Jane Austen's novel Emma. She exclaimed with joy; this was Sam's all-time-favorite book, and she never went anywhere without a copy. But Cassie had never seen a copy as beautiful as this one, with its thick, cream pages and soft leather binding.

She heard an English voice behind her. "Are you an Austen fan too, then?"

She turned and saw... well, quite possibly the most beautiful girl she had ever seen. The girl had delicate features, light, coffee-coloured skin and a huge quantity of hair cascading down her back in corkscrew curls. She also had an amused expression on her face. Cassie realized she was staring and hadn't replied.

"Wha'?" she stuttered. Then she grinned. "Actually no, it's not for me. But I know someone who would love this, I think I'm gonna get it for her as a gift."

The girl smiled. "Well you can never go wrong with Austen, that's what I always say. Your friend obviously has good taste."

"She's not my friend. Well, she is. She's sort of my adoptive mom," Cassie knew she was gabbling now. She laughed at herself. "I'm making no sense. But I'd like to take the book. Do you work here?"

"For my sins," the girl replied, with a laugh. "For the next two months, anyway. My Uncle Joe owns the shop, and I'm just here before I head off to Japan for four months. I'm helping him stock-take, so I spend my day covered in dust, climbing up and down ladders and moving books in and out of boxes. Hundreds of boxes," she sighed dramatically, and then grinned.

"Sounds fun!" Cassie laughed.

"It can be," the girl replied, "and I love books, so it's a good stop-gap for me." She took Cassie's money for the book, and wrapped it carefully. Cassie loved the way her hand unwittingly stroked the soft leather; she had clearly been telling the truth when she said she loved books.

"But tell me," the girl adopted a mock strict look as she handed over the package, "don't tell me you're not an Austen fan. You look to me like the sort of person who couldn't live without Jane Austen!"

Cassie shook her head in shame. "I know, I know," she grinned. "Sam keeps trying to get me to read some, I just never seem to have found the time. I will one day, Sam's usually right."

"Sam's your adoptive mother?" the girl asked. Cassie nodded. "Well I'm sure she'd agree that it's about time you discovered Jane. Here," she turned behind her, and rummaged in her huge shoulder back that was behind the desk. After a minute or two, she triumphantly pulled out a dog-eared paperback. "Pride & Prejudice, Jane Austen's first published novel. Take it," she pushed it toward Cassie. "Spend a couple of hours with it, and then come back and tell me you don't love the writing."

Cassie beamed with pleasure; she was entranced by this charismatic girl, and was thrilled to have an excuse to come back and visit her. "How d'you know I'll come back?" she asked with a twinkle in her eye.

"Oh, you've got an honest face!" the girl replied. "Make sure you read the introduction," she said, "that'll help it to make sense to you. But give it at least two hours, you need to tune into the language. After that you'll be hooked, I'm sure."

"I'll bring it back tomorrow," Cassie said. "I swear. Are you here all day?"

"I should be; if not, you can always leave it with Uncle Joe. One or the other of us is always around."

Cassie decided she was going to like London.


	5. Chapter 5 SOMEWHERE TO LIVE

Cassie had a distinct spring in her step as she left the book store, one she had not felt for some time. Not since she had split with Rachael, she realized. Rachael had been her first really serious girlfriend, and they had been together for almost eighteen months, when both of them realized, fortunately at around the same time, that it wasn't going anywhere.

She and Rachael had been good friends, really good friends. And the sex could be spectacular. But they had both realized that there wasn't much more to their relationship than a close friendship, and sex. They weren't soul mates, they didn't rely completely on each other, not the same way that her Mom and Sam did. She sometimes wondered if their relationship had made her too picky; having seen what was possible, she was unwilling to compromise. If she couldn't be with the right person, she preferred to be on her own.

So after a long talk with Rachael, they had decided to go their separate ways. They parted with a hug, and genuine warm wishes for each other's future happiness. Cassie had been surprised by how devastated she had been when the split had finally come, though, and had been grateful for the support of both her parents at the time.

So Cassie had been surprised by the instant attraction she had felt for the girl in the bookstore. And she had told her the truth, Sam had often tried to get her to read Jane Austen, but it was something she just hadn't got round to yet. But this captivating girl had lent her a copy of 'Pride & Prejudice', and wanted to know her reaction to it, so there was no way she was going to let her down. If she was honest with herself, she just wanted an excuse to see her again, and if it meant reading a book she didn't really want to read, then so be it.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

_"Hey Sam,"_

Janet wrote in her email.

_"Eight days, and I'm surviving without you. Actually, and don't take this the wrong way, it's not been too bad. The guys have been great, making sure I get no time to mope, and it's been pretty busy at the infirmary too. So I'm coping without you beside me. That doesn't mean I don't miss you, all day and every day - and every night too of course! - but I know now that it can be done. And of course it's less than two weeks now until I can see you for myself._

_How are you doing, baby? I can imagine that you are still very shaken by Kate Heightmeyer's suicide and all that involved. Jack tells me you were magnificent during that crisis, and I know that's the truth. You are incredible, Sam, and I don't ever want you to forget that. You know it wasn't your fault, and that there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. After all, you know only too well what it's like when an alien entity takes over. But I know you too well, and I'll bet you're beating yourself up over it, though of course you won't show that to your team. Give yourself a break, huh, Sam?"_

Sam's eyes misted as she read Janet's words. Her lover knew her better than she knew herself, she reflected wryly. And Janet was right, she had been horribly shaken by the crisis that had happened only days after she joined Atlantis. But they had survived it, most of them anyway, and she knew deep down that losses were inevitable on an outpost like Atlantis. "Okay, Jan," she whispered, as she read what Janet had written, "I'll let it go, I swear."

_"Try and make some time for yourself, Sam,"_

Janet's email continued.

_"I know it's hard for you, sweetie, with you being 'The Man', but you need to unwind sometimes. I'm lucky, I've got the guys, and I'm in my 'comfort zone' here. So promise me you'll find a way to let off steam, and to relax._

_Cassie 'phoned yesterday, and she sends all her love to you. She arrived in London yesterday, and she's real excited about exploring the city and getting to know all about it. She says she's going to look for work this week, as well as somewhere cheap to live. I'll keep you posted!_

_I love you, honey, and I'll see you soon._

_All my love, always,_

_Jan"_

"I love you too, baby," Sam said quietly as she sat at her computer, "so much."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Cassie expected to find the book hard going. She loved Sam dearly, but she knew that sometimes the things that she enjoyed were just a bit too serious for her. Sam had a great sense of humor but she was, after all, a certifiable genius, so sometimes Cassie found her enthusiasms just a bit... boring. She remembered the excitement that Sam had shown trying to explain calculus to her when she was 14, and she had been unable to hide her boredom. So it was with some trepidation that she picked the book up that night in the hostel.

To her great surprise, within half an hour of starting reading, she was hooked, and loving every word. Why had nobody ever told her Jane Austen was so funny? She was glad she had taken the bookstore girl's advice and read the notes at the start of the book, as it made it easier for her to understand Georgian England and the rules of 'society' at the time. But she loved the book, and found she couldn't put it down. She sat up until 0300hrs that night, and awoke at 0800hrs, when she picked up the book again. The copy of the book was clearly well thumbed, and she was delighted to find favorite passages had been underlined, with the occasional "absolutely!", and "quite!" scrawled in pencil. She was highly amused to find one "indeed!" and laughed, wondering if she'd ever be able to explain to the girl about Teal'c and just why that was so funny.

It was 1430hrs by the time Cassie made it back to the book store at Covent Garden. She went up to the counter, and was disappointed to see an oldish man standing there. This must be the girl's 'Uncle Joe'. "You can always leave it with Uncle Joe," the girl had told her. "One or the other of us is always around."

She approached the counter. "Hi," she said shyly, "I've come to return this," and she held out the tatty paperback. "She said I could return it to you if she wasn't here."

The man smiled, his kind eyes crinkling in his friendly face. "You must be the American Austen virgin!" he said with a laugh in his voice. "Anna told me you'd be coming in, and she made me promise not to let you go before she gets back. She's just out to buy some labels, she'll be back in five minutes. Can I persuade you to stay? She'll kill me if she misses you!"

Cassie grinned. "Sure," she replied, shyly. "I'll just take a look round, if that's okay?"

"Look away!" he waved his hands expansively. "Just so long as you don't disappear before she gets back."

"I swear!" Cassie smiled. Her heart was thudding. The girl - Anna - she only then realized she hadn't known her name, wanted to see her again. Okay, so she only wanted to discuss Jane Austen. That was better than nothing, though. And she had absolutely no reason to believe Anna was gay anyway. But it would be great to have a friend in the city, and Anna seemed to her to be somebody she could have fun with. And she would also be able to give her advice on what to do and see in London.

After nearly ten minutes, Cassie felt a tap on her shoulder. "See!" Anna grinned. "I said you had an honest face!"

Cassie turned, and smiled. "It's a great book," she said, with real enthusiasm. "I knew you'd want it back."

"How much did you read?" Anna asked.

Cassie looked embarrassed. "All of it," she said, a laugh in her voice. "I was only going to read a few chapters, but I was hooked. Stayed up half the night. You were right, it's great."

Anna laughed. "Nobody can resist Austen after the first few chapters. I'm so pleased you enjoyed it."

"Thanks for introducing me to her," Cassie said, "Here," and she proffered the book.

"Oh no," Anna said. "You've got to keep it. You have to remember your first Austen experience, and what better way than by keeping the first book you read."

"I couldn't do that!" Cassie protested. "Really, I'll buy my own copy."

"No way," Anna insisted. "Tell you what, though, if you want to make it up to me, you can buy me a coffee. I'm due a break."

Cassie's heart lifted. She had wondered how she could prolong the conversation, and now the perfect opportunity had presented itself. "Okay!" she grinned.

"Back in half an hour!" Anna called to 'Uncle Joe', and steered Cassie out of the door. "There's a great place on one of the back streets. Doesn't charge tourist prices, and they do a mean latte."

"Suits me," Cassie agreed.

Soon, they were ensconced in a booth in a small Italian cafe called Ginellis. "Hey Mario!" Anna called as they entered. The old man behind the counter smiled broadly at her.

"Ciao bella," he called back, clearly his customary greeting. He obviously knew Anna well; Cassie hoped that she, too, would soon get to know her soon.

They ordered two lattes, which were duly delivered, as well as a free plate of biscotti. "You are too thin!" Mario reprimanded Anna. "Eat!"

Anna laughed. "If Mario had his way, I'd be the size of a house!" she told Cassie. She then laughed again. "You know something really stupid?"

Cassie shook her head.

"I don't even know your name! I've bulldozed you into buying me coffee, and I haven't even asked you what your name is!" Anna's words came out in a rush. Cassie got the impression that she lived life at 100 miles an hour.

"It's Cassie. Cassandra. Cassandra Fraiser," Cassie knew she was gabbling.

"Cassandra? That's a lovely name," Anna said. "Like Apollo's muse."

Cassie looked at her quizzically.

"Greek God Apollo?" Anna said. "Fell in love with Cassandra, otherwise known as Alexandra, surely you know the story?"

"Sorry, no," Cassie answered.

"God no, it's me who should be sorry," Anna replied. "It's one of my obsessions. Literature. Mythology. I always assume everybody else is just as obsessed. Sad, I know," and she laughed again. "But it is a lovely name. I've always thought so. So, Cassandra Fraiser, what brings you to London?"

"I'm on a world tour," Cassie told her. "Haven't got that far yet, New York, Ireland, Scotland and Liverpool so far. And now, I hope, London for six weeks. All depends if I can find work, and somewhere cheap to live for a few weeks. I really want to explore the city."

"What sort of work are you looking for?" Anna's eyes lit up.

Cassie laughed. She realized she was laughing a lot in this girl's company. "Oh God, I don't care!" she said. "Anything! Anybody who'll take me for just a few weeks, with no experience and no plans to stay on. Bar work, maybe, or working in a cafe."

"How about cataloging books?" Anna looked hopeful.

"Or cataloging books!" Cassie said. "Why, you know of a job going?"

"I certainly do!" Anna looked joyful. "Uncle Joe wants me to get the stock-take done before I head to Japan, but there's no way I can manage it in two months. He was just saying to me yesterday that I should talk to one of the temp agencies, see if I can find somebody who would help out for a few weeks. And I was going to go this morning, only we were really busy in the shop, and then I had to go out to get more labels for all the boxes. Seriously, would you be interested?"

Cassie couldn't keep the grin off her face. "I can't think of anything better!" she exclaimed. "And if I can just find somewhere cheap to live near here, then everything'll be perfect."

"I may be able to help there too," Anna said, "though it depends on how high your standards are."

"What do you mean?" Cassie asked her.

"I live above the shop, just temporary. There's one bedroom, with just a mattress on the floor, but there's also a pull-out sofa in the living room. If you're interested. But it's really crappy," she warned her. "It's old, and dilapidated. And the kitchen's almost non-existent. But the bathroom works, and the shower's okay if you're patient and don't mind a bit of mold. I don't care about the kitchen myself," she told her, "I'm probably the world's worst cook. There's a microwave, though, for warming up take-aways, and a sandwich toaster. But I'm getting carried away. You probably want a decent flat, with lots of fun flatmates, and somewhere with a proper oven. I'll bet you're a cordon bleu cook!"

Cassie laughed. "God I wish!" she said, with feeling. "That's one thing I've got from Sam, I'm afraid, her ability to cook. Or complete lack of ability, that is. Thank God Mom can cook, at least one person in the house can."

"I thought Sam was your mother?" Anna asked, curiously.

"She is, sort of," Cassie was always reluctant to reveal too much about her Mom's and Sam's relationship. She knew, better than anyone, that it was nothing to be ashamed of. But she was always keen to protect their privacy; she also couldn't bear for them to be judged by outsiders. But somehow she knew instinctively that this girl wouldn't judge. "She found me, but I was adopted by my Mom, Janet. But she and Janet are together, they have been for over ten years. So it's like having two moms."

"One who can cook, and one who can't?" Anna couldn't keep the humor out of her voice.

"Exactly!" Cassie laughed. "But Sam can do all sorts of other things; she's a genius really. I love her, and Mom, so much. I'm very lucky."

"It sounds like it!" Anna was delighted with her new friend's enthusiasm for life.

"About the room," Cassie said, "it sounds perfect to me. I'd love to be right in the centre here. At the moment I'm staying in a hostel in Euston."

"Euston?" Anna exclaimed. "That's miles out! Don't commit yourself to the room," she warned her. "You haven't seen it yet, I'm not kidding when I say it's crappy. But it's rent free. And it's a nice short commute to work!"

Cassie laughed. "I'm sure it'll be just perfect."

Anna reached out and put her hand on Cassie's. "Come and have a look," she said. "You can decide then."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

_"My darling Sam,"_

Janet's email began.

_"Two weeks gone already, I can't believe it. And only one week to go until I see you. I can't wait, honey._

_This email's got to be quick, I have to be at the mountain in an hour. I just wanted to let you know that Cassie's got work, and a place to live, in London. It was a total coincidence; she was in a second-hand bookstore, and she met this girl who offered her work in the store, as well as a place to stay in the apartment right above the store. Cassie says it's very run-down, but she loves it. She's sharing with the girl in the store, and it's all going well, she says. She bought you a little something in the store, on the first day she was there, and it just arrived in the post this morning. She's told me what it is, but I'm not going to tell you. I'll send it to you with Dr Lee, who's on his way to Atlantis today, I think. You'll love it, I know._

_I'm counting the hours until I can see you, honey, and hold you in my arms. Be well, be happy._

_All my love to you baby, and Cassie sends all hers too,_

_Jan."_

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

The next day, a frazzled and grumpy Bill Lee stepped through the wormhole at Atlantis. It was no secret that he hated spending time at Midway, and he was just as irritable as Sam had expected. She managed to pacify him finally, and he was just making his way to his quarters when he turned back. "Here," he said, shortly, and handed her a package. "Almost forgot this."

Sam looked down at the package in her hand, and saw 'Sam' written on it in Cassie's handwriting. Her breath caught, as she realized just how much she missed her daughter. "Thanks," she said to Bill Lee.

She made her way to her suite; she didn't want to open the package in front of the others, in case her emotions got the better of her. She was good at keeping herself in check in front of her team, and she didn't want to let her guard down.

She sat on the couch in her living room, and fingered the package, wanting to maximize the anticipation. She could tell from its shape that it was a book - she'd already guessed that it would be, as Janet had told her it had been bought in a bookstore. Finally, she untied the ribbon holding it together, and was moved to tears when a beautiful, leather-bound copy of 'Emma' was revealed. She had never seen such elegant binding, and the creamy thick pages were a joy to touch. Suddenly home didn't seem so far away, and her wonderful daughter was as close to her as ever. A card fell out of the pages as she turned the book over in her hands.

_"I thought you might need an old friend where you're going,"_

Cassie had written.

_"I love you so much Sam."_

Sam held the soft book to her cheek, feeling its soft leather against her face and inhaling its musty, old-book smell. "I love you too, Cass," she whispered. "And I'll see you soon."


	6. Chapter 6 UPON WESTMINSTER BRIDGE

Cassie spent her last night at the hostel, and it was with a feeling of great excitement that she packed up all her things the next morning, and stuffed them into her backpack.

The day before, Anna showed her the apartment that she suggested they share. It was one bedroom and a large living room above the bookstore, with a small bathroom and kitchen. Anna hadn't been kidding when she said it was crappy, but while it was very basic, with peeling wallpaper and ancient furniture, it was clean and clearly well cared for. Anna slept in the bedroom, on the single mattress on the floor, and suggested that Cassie sleep on the couch which pulled out into a small double bed. "Or you can have the bedroom if you'd rather?" she offered.

"No, the couch is great," Cassie grinned. "Are you sure about all this? I mean, I'll be taking up all your living space, are you sure there's room for two?"

"Definitely!" Anna smiled back. "I think we'll get on really well. And also," she looked slightly embarrassed, "I get a bit lonely here all on my own, if I'm honest. Uncle Joe's great, and I love him to bits, but he goes home at 5pm, and then it's just me. I go out as often as I can, but even that can be difficult sometimes. I haven't really been here for long enough to make many friends, though there is a group of people I sometimes meet up with in the pub. It'll be lovely for me to have some company. But I don't want to put pressure on you; if you'd rather find somewhere else to live, I'll understand."

"No," Cassie was firm. "This is perfect, I love it. And it'll be great to have someone who knows a bit about London, who can show me round and tell me what I should be seeing, and where I should be going."

"In that case," Anna laughed, "you're going to see everything from my point of view, all the things I love, and none of the things I don't!"

"I think I like the sound of that," Cassie smiled shyly.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

_"Hey Jan,"_ Sam wrote. _"Only five days to go until you get here. Four until you leave, and then of course you've got 24 hours at Midway. I've been doing really well, most of the time, and I'm loving the job and the team. But I woke up last night, and reached out, and you weren't there. I hated it, baby, and I can't wait to hold you in my arms."_

Sam deliberately underplayed what had happened the night before. She had had trouble sleeping, and had reluctantly taken half of a sleeping pill. She was very busy at Atlantis, and knew that she needed to get her sleep if she was going to perform at the level required. She hated taking pills, but Janet had told her that a half tablet every now and then would do her no harm. So she had fallen to sleep but, as sometimes happened when she took something to help her sleep, she had awful nightmares. She kept imaging something terrible happening to Janet, then Cassie, then Janet again. Suddenly she woke up, breathing hard, and jolted upright, instinctively reaching out for her lover. When Janet wasn't there, her last reserves of self-control had crumbled, and she had wept uncontrollably. She had eventually pulled herself together, and had calmed down. She even managed a couple of hours' more sleep. But it had shaken her, and she resolved not to take any more sleeping pills.

_"It's the nights that are the worst, Janet," _Sam's email continued. _"Is is the same for you? I'm okay during the day, most of the time. I've got so much to do, and I'm really enjoying the challenge, and working with the team - even McKay has started to grow on me. Or maybe that's 'cos Zelenka creeps me out and makes even McKay look better? But at night, I miss you so much. It's not just making love, though God knows I can't wait until we can do that again. It's holding you, having you in my arms. Talking to you, going over the day, putting things in order in my mind. And hearing what your day's been like, who you've talked to, what you've been doing. Discussing Cassie. Planning our weekends._

_I'm so glad you're coming on Friday morning, because then you can spend the day with Jennifer. After that, we'll have the whole weekend to ourselves. Okay, maybe not completely to ourselves, but as near as we can manage it. My quarters are huge, and I've told them you'll be staying in the guest room in my suite, so we won't have to creep up and down any corridors at night. We'll just have to make sure we muss up the sheets in your bed! It'll be weird when you arrive though, as I'll have to treat you just like any other member of the SGC when you first come through the wormhole. I think that'll be one of the hardest things, seeing you there in front of me, and having to keep my hands to myself. But it'll be worth it, just to see you standing there. And we'll make up for lost time later, I promise you that. God, I sound as though I'm obsessed with sex, don't I? It's not that, really it's not. I just want to see you there, in front of me. And I want to stand in front of you, and for you to know that, despite the job, and the thousands of light years separating us, that I really am all yours. Nothing is more important to me than you are. I love you so much, Janet._

_So have you heard from Cassie since she moved into the apartment in London? Have you spoken to her roommate? She sounds nice from what you say about her, and I'm real pleased that Cass'll have someone to rely on there. I know she's an adult, and a very resourceful one too, but it's always easier when you've got someone by your side, isn't it baby? That's one thing you've taught me._

_So how are you Jan? You always say you're fine, is that really true? I want you to be able to tell me if you have a bad day, or if something's upset you. Or even if you're pissed just because the mailman was late. I'm here for you, honey, even if 'here' is such a long way away, and I want to know everything about your life, even the mundane things that don't seem important._

_The good news is that I've almost finished a remote dialing program that will, I hope, let me speak to you by 'phone. I know we can talk at the SGC, but I can't say anything that I really want to when I know the whole of the control room is listening in. But soon, I hope, I'll be able to speak to you on the 'phone privately. It won't be up and running before you come, but I hope that by the time you go back next Tuesday, it'll be operational. I'm going to do my damnedest to make sure it is anyway. So we can talk a couple of times a week; probably not more than that, as I'll have to have a good reason for the wormhole to be open, but two, maybe three times a week. Which is a lot better than now!_

_I'm talking too much now, baby. Can you tell it's late at night and I'm getting lonesome?_

_Be kind to yourself, Janet._

_All my love to you, and Cassie._

_S._

_xx"_

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

"Are you really sure you want to keep these?" Anna laughed as she helped Cassie to unpack.

"My lucky socks?" Cassie pretended incredulity. "You don't like my socks?" The socks in question were not only full of holes, they were also hideously striped in the loudest colors imaginable. Sam had given Cassie the socks one Christmas a few years ago, and had dared her to wear them in public, expecting her to be horribly embarrassed by them. Cassie had confounded Sam by adoring the socks, and had worn them almost constantly since; Janet had to make sure the laundry was done quickly so that Cassie would get her beloved socks back as soon as possible.

"It's not a question of not... liking," Anna held out the offending items between thumb and forefinger. "It's more a question of... _infestation_."

"Anna Ross!" Cassie was indignant. "There is nothing wrong with those socks. They're just a bit worn." She looked at the ratty socks hanging from Anna's fingers; even she had to admit they had seen better days. "Maybe it's time they went in the trash."

Anna marched triumphantly into the kitchen, and dumped the socks unceremoniously in the trash can. She then tied up the plastic liner and took it down the stairs to put in the dumpster just outside the back of the apartment. She came upstairs again, a huge grin on her face. "I thought it was best to get rid of them completely," she was laughing openly at Cassie now, "in case they escaped during the night."

Cassie swatted her. "Now I'll have to go buy some more socks," she pretended to be affronted, but couldn't keep the smile out of her eyes. "I need stripes though!" she was firm in her declaration.

Anna laughed once more. "We'll find you some truly revolting striped socks, I promise. Only these ones won't have holes in. Deal?"

"Deal!" Cassie grinned. She didn't mind losing her favorite socks, especially if Anna was going to help her choose some new ones.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

That evening, once Cassie had unpacked her meager belongings, the two girls headed out to get some dinner. Anna had been living in the city for three months, so she knew all the places where it was possible to get cheap, good food. She did use the microwave a fair bit in the apartment, but she and Cassie both agreed that they should go out on her first night. So they had big bowls of pasta only a few hundred yards from the apartment. "Come with me," Anna said, a glint in her eye. "I want you to see one of the most beautiful sights in London. It's a bit of a walk, is that okay?"

Cassie thought that nothing could be more pleasant than a walk in the moonlight, through such an exciting city, in the company of a force of nature like Anna. She had been observing her closely all day, and come to the sad conclusion that she was probably straight. But then, Cassie reflected, that was all to the good. There was no way they could embark on a proper relationship right now, neither of them was staying for long. She was off to France in six weeks, Anna was heading to Japan in two months.

So Anna walked Cassie through Covent Garden at night, which was full of street entertainers and people enjoying themselves, and others scurrying to whatever their destinations may be. She then went up and down side streets, until they were in the famous Trafalgar Square, which was spectacular all lit up. "It's beautiful," Cassie breathed.

"Yeah, it is," Anna agreed. "But we're not there yet. You okay to walk for another fifteen minutes?"

Cassie nodded. When they emerged at Westminster, she was first staggered to see the Houses of Parliament. She had seen these often on the news programs, and on the net, but to see them right up close was wonderful. "On to the bridge," Anna urged, and laughing took Cassie by the hand and led her on to Westminster Bridge.

Anna's eyes misted with emotion as she took in the view, which Cassie hadn't expected. In a soft, almost inaudible, voice, she recited,

_"Earth has not anything to show more fair:_

_Dull would he be of soul who could pass by_

_A sight so touching in its majesty."_

Anna shook herself and laughed, self-deprecatingly. "Sorry, can't help myself sometimes. That's from Wordsworth's poem, 'Upon Westminster Bridge'. Sometimes Wordsworth annoys me, but then I remember those words and fall in love with him all over again. The view really is breathtaking, isn't it?"

"It sure is," Cassie agreed, in a soft voice. "Thank you so much for showing it to me."

Anna smiled.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

Sam's breath caught in her throat as she saw Janet step through the wormhole on Atlantis. She smiled broadly, and stepped forward to give her a welcoming hug. She knew she had to be careful that the hug would only be seen as one of 'friendship', though she couldn't resist resting her hand on the small of Janet's back for just a second longer than she should. Unnoticed, Janet quickly squeezed her fingers, and felt the so-welcome squeeze in response.

"Welcome to Atlantis!" Sam said. Janet was delighted to see her lover standing so tall and straight, in an authoritative pose. She had clearly taken well to leadership, and it was immediately obvious that the others had great respect for her.

Sam introduced her round. Janet had already met Rodney McKay, and she had to agree with Sam; yes, he was still irritating, but he seemed a little calmer now. The others all seemed pleasant, and she looked forward to getting to know them better, and to learn more about Sam's daily routine. When she went back to Earth, she wanted to be able to imagine Sam in situ in Atlantis, imagine what she was doing, who she was talking to. That had been one of the hardest things about their separation, she couldn't visualize Sam's working environment.

After introductions, Sam turned to Janet. "Well let me show you to your room; you'll be staying in the guest room in my suite, if that suits you?"

Janet could have sworn she saw a wicked glint in Sam's eye. There was nowhere she'd rather stay, which Sam knew only too well. "That's fine," she kept her voice steady. "We can catch up on the gossip."

So Sam led her down the corridor and into the elevator. When they arrived at the door of Sam's suite, Sam pushed her gently inside, following her in and shutting the door firmly behind her.

"Oh Jan," Sam breathed. "You're really here."

Janet nodded. "I am baby, I am," her voice cracked with emotion. "C'mere." And she pulled Sam to her, kissing her so gently on the lips. "I've missed you so much, hon," Janet whispered. "And now you're here in my arms. You're even more beautiful than I remembered."

Sam buried her face in Janet's neck; Janet could feel from the tension in her body that she was trying desperately not to cry. "It's okay, baby," Janet's voice soothed, "we're okay. We're okay." She wrapped her arms round her taller lover and rocked her very gently; they both knew they had only minutes before they should return to the others, and she savored every second.

After several minutes, Sam pulled back reluctantly. "Sorry," her voice was muffled, "I just want to hold you in my arms for ever."

"I know, Sam," Janet was trying to be strong, "that's how I feel too. Tonight, hon, we'll be together properly. It's only a few hours, baby, and then I can have you all to myself. You're quite something, you know that? I mean, these guys have really taken to you as 'The Man', haven't they? I'm so proud of you Sam, you're doing a great job."

Sam shrugged and tried to brush off the compliment. Janet took her hands and looked straight into her eyes. "I mean it Sam; you've really made an impact already, that much is obvious. And the word at the SGC is that you've gained everybody's respect, and affection. That's pretty amazing, in just three weeks."

"I don't care how well it works out," Sam's voice was mutinous. "I'm doing 18 months, tops. Then I'm coming home. To you."

"You definitely are, baby," Janet's tone was equally firm. "I need you with me."

Sam leant forward, and kissed her lover once more, thrilling at the taste and feel of her. "Tonight," she breathed in Janet's ear.

"Tonight," Janet replied. "Oh yeah."

Reluctantly, the two women made their way back to the centre of Atlantis, where Janet headed off to the infirmary to talk to Jennifer Keller, and Sam went back to her office, her heart thudding in her chest. Even after over ten years, Janet was still the only woman for her.


	7. Chapter 7 DECLARATIONS

"This has got to be better than emailing, hasn't it sweetie," Janet grinned as she snuggled into her lover. This was their first night together in Sam's quarters in Atlantis. "I can't believe I'm here, and that you're here in this bed with me, that this is real."

Sam smiled lazily, and stroked Janet's cheek. "Oh it's real alright, Jan," she said, "and thank God for that. I think I would have exploded if I'd had to wait any longer." She reached over and kissed Janet thoroughly. "Want me to remind you once again just how real this is?" Sam asked Janet, with a wicked glint in her eye.

"Well, my powers of recall can be a little hazy sometimes," Janet tried not to laugh. "I think perhaps you'd better just jog my memory..."

So Sam did.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

All too soon, Tuesday arrived, and Janet had to head back to Earth. She had loved every second she had spent with Sam. She was also relieved that, while Sam clearly missed her as much as she missed Sam, she was not pining. She was lonely a lot of the time, but Janet could see that she was coping, and coping well. Sam had established herself, in a very short time, as an efficient and respected leader of Atlantis. Janet saw for herself that her lover had already made the best of impressions on her team, and was held in high esteem, as well as affection.

So while Janet hated leaving Sam behind, almost as much as Sam hated the idea of Janet stepping through the wormhole, away from her, both women knew that it would all work out.

They had agreed, even before Janet arrived, that she would leave early on the Tuesday morning. "I don't think I could bear not being able to say goodbye to your properly," Sam had told her in one email, "and if you leave in the afternoon, I'll have to be formal with you as you leave the infirmary. But if you leave in the morning, we can say goodbye properly in my quarters."

Janet knew exactly what Sam was getting at, and when Sam nudged her awake gently at 0500hrs on the Tuesday, she understood the reason.

"Hey," she smiled sleepily at Sam. "You look beautiful."

And she was right; Sam looked adorably sleepy, her hair still mussed, and she didn't have on a scrap of make-up. But she was stunning; her clear skin, perfect teeth and cascading golden hair all combined to make her the most beautiful thing Janet had ever seen.

"I'm sorry to wake you, baby," Sam's voice was gentle and loving. "I just wanted to make the most of our last couple of hours."

"I'm so glad you did, hon," Janet told her, pushing herself up on her elbow. "I want to be with you, Sam, on our last morning. In every way. You know, sometimes I can't believe we've been together for so long. You make me just as hot as you did on that first night together. Do you remember that night, Sam, at the lake?"

"I'll remember every second of that night for as long as I live," Sam whispered, "that night was the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. Without exception."

Sam reached out and started to unbutton Janet's pajama top. Technically, the top belonged to Sam, but Janet had taken to wearing the oversized garment at night. It was far too big for her, but Janet enjoyed the feeling of wearing Sam's clothes, even if she had to roll up the sleeves some. And it had the added bonus of being so long on her that it almost reached her knees, so there was no need for pajama pants.

Getting impatient, Janet helped in the unbuttoning, and shrugged off the top. Sam breathed sharply at the sight of her. "I don't know how you do it, baby," she said, her voice cracking with emotion, "but you look more perfect every time I see you."

"Back at you, Sam," Janet replied, gently, "right back at you."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

As Janet stood in front of the wormhole at 0730hrs, wearing her dress blues, she saw Sam standing tall and proud, and her heart went out to her. She knew that, as soon as she reached Midway, she would likely burst into floods of tears. But she knew Sam couldn't allow herself that luxury, so she tried to stay strong for her.

At least they had already arranged that Sam would be visiting Earth only two short weeks from then. General Hammond was going to be honored for his work at the SGC over the years, and he had personally requested that Sam be present at the ceremony. "It wouldn't be the same without Colonel Carter there," he had told Landry. "She's a shining example of the work that we've done at the SGC. She started out here as a young captain, and now she's leading what is probably this world's most important, and exciting, mission." Landry couldn't disagree.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Cassie was amazed by how quickly she felt at home in Anna's apartment. The two girls spent nearly all their time together, but incredibly didn't seem to get on each others nerves at all. After a day in the bookstore, Anna would usually suggest some sort of evening entertainment - from the occasional free concert in one of London's squares, to a night at the theater or even, on one thrilling occasion, the opera (Anna knew somebody who knew somebody, so she managed to acquire free tickets).

Some evenings, they just walked through the city, taking in the sights, the sounds, the smells. Sometimes the rain drove them back into the apartment, where they would play cards, or just talk.

Cassie learned that Anna was 27 years old and a qualified teacher. After teaching for a year, she had gone back to college to do a masters degree in art and literature "just because it's so fascinating," Anna told Cassie. "And I thought, why not? I'll be a better teacher if I'm happy with what I've learned myself."

Anna also told Cassie how she had been born and raised in Oxford, about an hour and a half away from London by train. Her father lectured at one of the many colleges, and her mother had only recently gone back to work as a receptionist at the local doctor's. "She's a trained nurse," Anna explained, "but after Izzie was born she had to stay at home."

"Izzie?" asked Cassie.

"She's my sister," Anna said, a smile coming over her face. "She's 23 now. She's got Down's Syndrome," she said, with no hint of embarrassment, "she's great."

Cassie didn't know what to say.

"Don't feel awkward," Anna said gently. "She's wonderful, we all love her so much. She's very happy, she's got a beautiful spirit. And she's achieved a lot. She's even got a job, she works four days a week in the old people's home. But Mum wanted to stay at home with her until she was ready to become a little more independent."

Cassie smiled. "Must have been hard for you to leave a family like that," she said.

"I haven't left them, not really," Anna said. "I may be living somewhere else, but I'll always be part of them, just as they'll always be part of me. Distance doesn't really matter, you know?"

Cassie was moved by the wistful tone in Anna's voice. She felt similarly about her own family. "I know what you mean," she said, "I feel the same about Mom and Sam. They're apart for the moment too, for the next 18 months probably. I know Mom's finding it hard, and I'm sure Sam is too. But their relationship's still just as strong."

"How come?" Anna asked.

Cassie laughed. "It's all Air Force stuff," she wished she could explain fully. "Some of it's classified, so I can't give you all the details. Sam's been posted and Mom's staying behind. But it's not for ever."

"Classified, like your adoption?" Anna asked. Cassie had given her some sketchy details of how Sam had found her on a 'mission', and told her that she couldn't give her much information about her early life pre-adoption.

"Yeah," Cassie agreed. "I'm so sorry, Annie," she told her friend. "I wish I could tell you everything, but I'm not allowed to. You'd probably find it really weird anyway. But I haven't told you any lies, what I have said is all true. Maybe one day, if we still know each other, I'll be allowed to tell you."

"It's okay, Cass," Anna laughed. "I rather like the fact that I'm sharing with a 'woman of mystery'!"

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"So this is Sam," Cassie told Anna, showing her the handful of pictures she carried with her, "next to her favorite motorbike." The picture showed a grinning Sam leaning up against the 1940s Indian that she was so proud of. "And this is Mom," Janet was sitting in the garden on a bright summer day, relaxing in the sunshine, a wide smile on her face. "And these," Cassie laughed, "these are 'the guys'. They're part of the family, they're like my three crazy uncles." She showed Anna the photograph of O'Neill, Daniel and Teal'c, all sitting on the dock by Jack's cabin. Teal'c was wearing one of his large collection of hats; uncharacteristically for him, he was smiling broadly.

"They all look great," Anna said. "I hope to meet them one day."

"Well if you're ever near Colorado Springs, you must come visit," Cassie wished fervently that this would, one day, come to pass.

"I think I'd like that," Anna was suddenly shy. "So you want to see my family?"

Cassie nodded enthusiastically. Anna went to fetch the album that she kept in her room.

"My fabulous parents!" she announced, as she turned the first page. Cassie was confused; she looked from Anna, to the picture, and back to Anna again.

"So are you adopted too?" she asked her.

Anna laughed. "No," she told her. "Well, yes and no."

The picture showed two extremely blonde, almost Scandinavian-looking, people, contrasting sharply with Anna's coffee colored skin and dark hair.

"It's like this," she explained. "My Dad met Mum when she was two months' pregnant, they fell madly in love, got married, and lived happily ever after! Dad knew Mum was pregnant right from the start, but she'd already split with my biological father, and Dad wanted to bring me up as his own."

"Was it weird, knowing your real father was out there somewhere?" Cassie asked.

"Dad *is* my 'real' father," Anna said with feeling. "He may not be the sperm donor, but he's been an amazing Dad, and I love him to pieces. They've never hidden anything from me, I knew from early on what the situation was. The mixed-race thing can get a bit confusing sometimes, explaining to people. But that's a small price to pay for such a great family life. And this," her voice swelled with pride, "is Izzie. Isabella." She showed Cassie a picture of a smiling blonde girl in her early 20s. The Down's features were evident, but the girl was beautiful. She also looked very much like Anna, despite the difference in skin tone and hair; it was immediately obvious that the two were sisters. "I love her so much," Anna told her, "she's had to overcome so much, but she's always smiling, always happy. It was a shock to my parents to start with, I think that sort of thing always is, but very soon it became obvious how much she could do, instead of how much she couldn't do. And she's so loving. She's funny, too, she's got a good sense of humor."

"That's great," Cassie said. "I bet you're real proud of her."

"I am," Anna said. "I really am."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

All too soon, they were in the sixth week of Cassie's six-week stay. She had long ago admitted to herself that she had fallen in love with Anna, but she had said nothing to her. It was crazy, she reasoned. She was only staying a few weeks, and then she was off on the rest of her round-the-world trip. Anna was leaving two weeks after she was, for a four-month post teaching in Japan. And Cassie had no reason at all to believe that Anna might be gay. True, she hadn't talked about any boyfriends, but neither had she mentioned girlfriends. Cassie had, many times, nearly told Anna about how she felt, but she decided she just couldn't risk ruining the beautiful friendship that had developed. So she kept quiet, and felt an increasing sense of desperation as her time in London drew to a close.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

_"Sam, sweetheart," _Janet wrote in her email. _"You'll be here in just over a day. If I've got my times right, you're just about to leave for Midway. You'll be in my arms in just over 24 hours, where you belong. I know you can only stay 48 hours, but we'll make the most of every minute. And it'll be great to have you home with me. It was wonderful, being with you at Atlantis, but it'll be even better when you're home, with me, in our bed. Anyway, Toby's missing you something awful, he'll be very excited to see you." It was true, Toby the dog had always enjoyed his long walks with Sam; she would often take him out on the weekends, while Janet went to the market, or drove Cassie someplace. "I'm having to take him on lots of walks to make up for you being away," Janet continued, "but I'm only a poor substitute for his real love! Be safe, baby, catch up on some sleep at Midway, and I'll see you sooner than you know it. My love always, Sam, J. xx"_

Sam was leaving in just under an hour, so she checked her private email one final time. The message from Janet filled her with joy, and with longing. It wouldn't be long.

The ceremony for General Hammond was short, but moving. After it had concluded, O'Neill insisted on taking all of the former SG-1 and Janet out to lunch with Hammond at a local restaurant. The lunch was a great success, though Janet was worried about Hammond's appearance. "You look tired, Sir," she told him, "is everything okay?"

"I'm fine, Dr Fraiser," he replied, warmly. "I've had a few problems, but I'm seeing a specialist, and he says I'll be back up to full strength in no time at all."

"Who's the specialist Sir?" Janet asked.

Hammond named the man in question, and Janet's heart sank. He was a pre-eminent heart surgeon, so she suspected Hammond was playing down his problems. But she knew that he was clearly getting the best care, so she planted a bright smile on her face. "You get well soon, Sir," she said, "and come see us again when you're all better, won't you? We miss you here Sir, it's not the same without you."

Hammond smiled, "the SGC, and all of you, are very dear to me Janet," his emotions threatening to spill over as he used her first name, "I've had a wonderful career, but working at the mountain was the best time for me."

Janet's eyes filled with tears. "For us too, Sir," she said, in a halting voice.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"I'm worried about General Hammond," she told Sam in bed later that night. "I think he has heart problems."

"He did look drawn," Sam agreed, "is there anything we can do?"

"No," Janet said sadly, "he's already under the best guy in the business. We just have to hope that he can be treated."

Sam looked somber. "God I hope so," she said, "he's a wonderful man. Don't get me wrong, I like Landry, but things were never the same after General Hammond left, even with General O'Neill. He's a good man, and there aren't too many of those around." She turned and gathered Janet in her arms.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Before she knew what had happened, it was Cassie's last day in London. She was leaving that night, at 2200hrs, to catch the train to the south coast. She had booked herself into a hostel for the night, as she was catching the ferry very early to head to France. The rain was hammering down hard, adding to Cassie's misery. She wished with all her heart that she had not booked the ferry, that she had not told Anna she was only staying six weeks in London. She wanted, above all else, to spend the next two weeks at Anna's side before she left for Japan.

But she couldn't tell Anna any of this. They were just friends, after all, not partners. So it would have been too weird. So they took each other's home addresses, and cellphone numbers, and email addresses, and swore to keep in contact.

As Anna turned to say goodbye to Cassie, Cassie thought her heart would break. Anna seized her in a fierce hug. "You stay in contact, you hear?" she told Cassie, and Cassie was surprised to see tears in her eyes. "And be safe, promise me you'll be careful? Paris is a dangerous city."

"I swear," Cassie's voice cracked. "You too. And I'll see you in Japan on my travels, I promise."

"You'd damned well better," Anna replied. And she reached up impulsively and kissed Cassie on the cheek. "Here," she said, handing her a package, "don't open it until you get to Portsmouth." She squeezed her hand, and watched her walk through the barrier.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

When Anna got back to the apartment, it looked so big and empty without Cassie and all her stuff. She was furious with herself. She had fallen in love with the quirky American the first time she set eyes on her. But she had held back, scared of what would happen if she declared herself. She knew Cassie was fine with the gay thing - her two mothers were evidence of that - but she couldn't tell if Cassie was gay herself. And, like Cassie, she didn't want to risk the friendship. Also like Cassie, she could see that the logistics of a relationship between them would be complicated, to say the least.

But as she looked round the apartment, her eyes filled with tears and she started to sob.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Cassie reached Portsmouth in just under two hours, and took a cab to the hostel. Her emotions were overwhelming, and she couldn't wait to be alone with her thoughts. She got to her private room, and collapsed on the bed in tears. After a full half hour of misery, she suddenly remembered the package Anna had handed to her, so she sat up and felt in the pocket of her backpack where she had put it.

She opened the package, and was touched to see seven pairs of the most vulgar stripy socks fall out. A note in Anna's handwriting said "one for every day of the week! Be happy, Cass, much love, Anna".

Cassie came to a sudden decision. Life really was too short. She looked at her watch; it was past midnight, and the trains were no longer running. She didn't care. She would thumb a ride, people were going to London all the time. She didn't care how long it took.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

It was 0345hrs by the time a wet and exhausted Cassie reached the apartment in Covent Garden. She had managed to thumb a ride most of the way, but once she got to London she had had to walk the last three miles, in the cold and wet. But she didn't care, she was elated at the thought of seeing Anna again.

As she approached the apartment, though, she began to worry. But she had come this far, and she was damned well going to declare herself if it was the last thing she did.

Cassie pounded hard on the door, knowing that it was sometimes hard to hear the knocking from above. She was surprised when, in seconds, Anna appeared at the door.

"I'm sorry to wake you," Cassie's words came out in a rush.

"You didn't wake me," Anna replied, and for the first time Cassie saw her red-rimmed, sleepless eyes. "I couldn't sleep. I missed you," she said, her voice thick. "And now you've come back to me."

"I had to," Cassie told her. "I had to tell you. I'm in love with you Annie. I have been since the first moment I saw you.

"Oh Cass," Anna began to weep openly. "I feel the same way. I love you so much," and she flung herself into Cassandra's arms. Cassie rocked her gently, clinging tight to her.

"You're all wet," Anna said, when she pulled back a long time later, "let's get you warm and dry."

Cassie nodded, and in a trance allowed Anna to lead her upstairs.

"You need a shower," Anna told her, when she realized Cassie was shivering. She went and got a clean towel, and pushed Cassie gently toward the bathroom.

"Come with me?" Cassie asked, in a small, scared voice.

Anna looked her straight in the eye. "There's nothing I'd like more," she whispered, and followed her into the bathroom.

Hours later, as they lay in a heap on the pull-out bed together, Anna turned to Cassie. "There's one problem we have to overcome," she said, with a smile in her voice.

"Just one?" Cassie's tone was equally lighthearted. "Apart from the different continents thing?"

"Yep," Anna agreed. "Apart from that. One of us," she giggled, "one of us is going to *have* to learn how to cook!"

Cassie laughed. She leaned up on her elbow, and looked down at Anna. "I'll do anything," she said in a serious voice, "anything I need to, just so long as we can be together. Even when we're apart."

"We've got two weeks now," Anna reminded her. "Let's make the most of it." And she pulled Cassie into a deep kiss.


	8. Chapter 8 LOGISTICS

When Cassie awoke the next morning, it took her a few moments to realize where she was. With a broad grin, she remembered that she wasn't in Portsmouth waiting for the ferry, she was back in the Covent Garden apartment - with Anna. When she reached out in the bed, though, Anna wasn't beside her any more. Then she heard reassuring clattering noises from the kitchen, and realized that she must be in there.

Getting up, she shrugged on the shirt Anna had been wearing the day before. Her clothes were still wet from the rain the night before, and she didn't really feel comfortable wandering around the apartment naked. And Anna was a good four inches taller than she was, so her shirt covered Cassie's modesty.

Cassie stood by the door in the kitchen, just looking at Anna - at her lover - who was sitting, in her robe, staring dreamily into space, her hands wrapped round a steaming mug of coffee.

"Hey," Cassie called gently, suddenly shy; they had met for breakfast at the kitchen table every day for the last six weeks, but this was different, it was a whole new step in their relationship.

Anna looked up. "Hey, beautiful," she replied, her face wreathed in smiles. "Sleep well?"

Cassie laughed. "No," she replied, "you know damned well I didn't, and neither did you!" She approached Anna, and enveloped her in a hug from behind. "I had the best night of my life, though," she said softly. "How are you this morning?"

Anna put one hand over Cassie's. "I've never been happier," she said with feeling. "Thanks to you. Thank you, Cass, for coming back to me. I was a coward before, I should have told you how I felt. I was so angry with myself after you left," she shifted sideways in her seat so that she could look Cassie in the eye, "and here you are. And, if I may say, you look pretty damned hot in that shirt!" She pulled Cassie on to her lap and kissed her.

"Will you promise always to greet me like that in the morning?" Cassie asked, slightly breathless.

Anna nodded, and leaned in for another kiss. "I love you Cass," she whispered.

This was the first time that either of them had mentioned the word love, but it seemed so natural; it wasn't some big declaration, just Anna stating the obvious. "I love you too, Annie," Cassie told her. "Every inch of you. I'm not sure I'll ever get used to how beautiful you are," her voice shook.

"Bed?" Anna suggested.

Cassie just nodded.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Three hours later, Anna turned to Cassie in the bed, her arm protectively curled round Cassie's toned stomach. "You really should try and get some sleep now," she said, with a smile in her voice. "you're exhausted Cass, you haven't slept properly for over 30 hours."

"Nor you," Cassie reminded her, as she laced her fingers through Anna's hand. "I will if you will, deal?"

"Deal!" Anna laughed, and wrapped her longer limbs round her lover. Within minutes, both were fast asleep.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Four hours later, Cassie was roused from her slumbers by the trilling of her cellphone. She reached over to get the phone, hoping that it wouldn't wake Anna. As she moved, however, Anna stirred, looked up and smiled at Cassie.

Cassie grabbed the phone, "yeah," she said sleepily, not even bothering to look at the screen to see who was calling.

"Cass!" Janet's voice was clear and bright. "Are you okay honey?" She was concerned by Cassie's sleepy response; she looked at her watch, it was only mid-afternoon in Europe.

"Hey Mom!" Cassie sat up, feeling real pleasure at the sound of Janet's voice. "I'm fine, really. Better than ever, in fact," she smiled at Anna, who was sitting up slowly, her hair adorably tousled, a sleepy grin on her face.

"I was just wondering how you're enjoying France," Janet said. "Are you enjoying the views in Paris?"

Cassie grinned. "Well, Mom," she said, with a slightly sheepish tone, "the view right now is rather... well... British."

Janet was nonplussed. "Elucidate," she instructed her daughter sharply.

Cassie put her hand over the cellphone so Janet couldn't hear as she turned to Anna. "It's Mom. Can I tell her?"

Anna smiled. "Is she going to be one of those dragon mothers-in-law?" she asked cheekily.

"Oh yeah," Cassie grinned back, "no doubt about that."

"In that case, you'd better tell her," Anna said, "we don't want her breathing fire down that phone!"

"Mom?" Cassie said, tentatively.

"Who was that you were talking to?" Janet asked.

"That's Anna," Cassie told her, "from the bookshop. I didn't go to Paris, Mom. I nearly did, but then I came back. We're in love, Mom. We're together."

"Wow!" Janet was speechless. "That's great, Cass," she said, once she had regained the power of speech. "Really, I'm thrilled. She sounds wonderful."

"She really is Mom. I've never met anybody like her, she makes me so happy. And we've only been 'together' for," she looked at her watch, "thirteen hours and 28 minutes!"

Janet laughed. "So what about your plans? And Anna's? Isn't she going to Japan?"

Cassie's face clouded. "We need to talk about that. We both know there are things we need to do, but the important thing is that we'll be together all the time soon enough. A bit like you and Sam, in a way. She's worth waiting for, Mom, whatever we decide. That much I'm sure of."

"Well I'm confident you'll both make the right decisions about the future," Janet said, with real warmth in her voice. "Put her on the phone, I want to talk to her!"

Cassie passed the cellphone to Anna. "She wants to speak to you," she told Anna, with a grin.

"Hi!" Anna said, tentatively. She'd spoken to Janet twice before, but that was when she and Cassie had just been roommates, this was a whole different ball game.

"Dragon, huh?" Janet was laughing. "If you think I'm bad, you just wait until you meet Sam!"

Anna howled with laughter. "Shit!" she said, "I thought you couldn't hear me!"

"That much was clear," Janet replied drily. "I just wanted to say, 'welcome to the family'! Cass sounds so happy, and I gather that's down to you. I know you still have to work out all the logistics, but it'll all be okay. You and Cassandra have a beautiful future together."

Anna was moved beyond measure by the kind words. "Thanks," she whispered, tears gathering in her eyes. Cassie reached over and took her hand. "I'll be good to her, I promise," she said, "she means the world to me."

"I know that," Janet said softly, "and that's why I know you two will last. Once you work out your plans, I want to meet you, and Sam will too when I tell her. Be happy, Anna. Put Cass back on, will you?"

Wordlessly, Anna passed Cassie the phone.

"You've got a good one there," Janet was surprised to find her voice cracking with emotion. "You hang on to her, okay?"

"I will, Mom," Cassie said. "I swear."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Sam and Janet continued to see each other as often as possible; sometimes as often as every two weeks, though sometimes the gap was longer. The worst they had to endure was a five-week hiatus, and when Sam stepped through the wormhole after being apart for so long, Janet flung herself into her arms, sobbing with relief. Sam didn't pull back; most everybody at the SGC knew about their relationship, so there was no need for secrecy there. And in truth Sam was close to tears herself. "Sorry, baby," she whispered into Janet's hair, "it was too long, I know. Never again, I promise."

After that time, Sam made absolutely sure that she and Janet were never apart for longer than three weeks at a stretch. The months slowly passed, and Janet could see each time she saw Sam that she was coping well with her command, and that it had given her renewed confidence in her abilities. She was handling the myriad challenges that leading an outpost like Atlantis inevitably threw up, and was continuing to impress her colleagues as well as 'the higher-ups' as Sam liked to call them.

Sam's weekly phone call was also a real boon to them both. Talking to each other via the SGC's communications was better than nothing, but they could neither of them relax, knowing that Janet was in the control room surrounded by other personnel, much as Sam was in Atlantis's control room with her team about her. So the secure phone line that Sam had engineered was wonderful. They could only talk for about 20 minutes usually - certainly never more than 38 minutes - but it was such a release to be able to say what they wanted.

It was during one of these phone calls that Janet told Sam about Cassie and Anna, and Sam was thrilled by the news. "We've got to meet her now!" she declared to Janet.

"We will, sweetie," Janet told her, "once we find out what their plans are. Anna's due to spend four months in Japan, and they're still working out whether Cassie'll join her for all of that time, or whether she'll continue on her trip first. Once they decide, they'll let us know, and we can make plans too."

"Okay," Sam agreed happily. "Just so long as Cassie's happy."

"She's happy, alright," Janet said, "I've never heard her sounding so upbeat. And I've spoken to Anna a few times, she sounds perfect for our little girl."

"She's all grown-up now, isn't she?" Sam said, slightly sadly. "D'you think she and Anna will settle in England?"

"I don't know, baby," Janet said softly, "but if she does we'll visit. Often. You can be just as close even with distance, we know that, don't we hon?"

Sam nodded, forgetting that Janet couldn't see her gestures over the phone. "S'just I'll miss her. I do already," she said. "But I know, we can't hold her back. If Anna makes her happy, that's what matters. But if she does anything at all to hurt her, she'll have me to answer to."

"And me, Sam, and me," Janet said. "She won't though, she's real sweet. Cassie says we'll love her."

"Well in that case, I'm sure we will," Sam made a concerted effort to sound more cheerful.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"The way I see it," Anna started, "is like this."

Cassie groaned. "Not 'the conversation' again," she pleaded.

"We've got to decide, Cass," Anna pointed out, "I'm leaving in 11 days, remember?"

"I know," Cassie's face darkened. "I wish we could stay like this forever," and she reached out in the bed and pulled Anna to her.

Anna laughed. "Much as I would like, correction, LOVE, to spend the rest of my life in this bed with you, you know as well as I do that it's just not practical."

Cassie nodded, glumly. "Go on, then," she said reluctantly. "Tell me. Just how do you see it?"

"I've signed a contract," Anna said. "But more importantly to me, I've given my word. So I have to go. Anyway," she continued, "Tokyo's supposed to be an amazing city. I'd probably kick myself 20 years from now if I don't do this. So I really should go."

"Okay," Cassie's voice was small and sad.

"And you, Miss Fraiser," Anna pushed Cassie's bangs out of her eyes, "are supposed to be on a world trip. So far you've made it to London, and now you've shacked up with some over-sexed bookshop assistant who won't let you out of bed. Is that a fair assessment of the situation?"

Cassie grinned, despite her misgivings about what Anna was going to say. "I'd say that's fair," she agreed, "it's been a very trying time," she tried, and failed, to hide the smirk on her face.

"Oh yeah," Anna agreed. "I can tell your patience has been tested."

"To the limit!" Cassie was laughing openly now.

"Seriously, though," Anna forced the conversation back on track, "I think you should still do some of your trip, even if you don't do everything you planned," she could see Cassie was about to protest. "I mean it," she pressed, "you'd be bored rigid if you stayed all four months with me, I'll be out working all day, I'll be marking books at night, I wouldn't have much spare time."

"I could always just stay in bed, and be your sex toy?" Cassie said suggestively, "and you could use me whenever you felt the need!"

"If you did that," Anna's voice was suddenly husky, "then I'd never get any work done at all. No, what I suggest is this. You do Europe, and India, as planned. Take two months, see the sights, experience the cultures. And then," she took Cassie's hand in hers, "then you come to me for the last two months. We spend a month together, by then I should know enough about the city to be able to show you around. And then, if your Mom and Sam want to come visit for two weeks, they can. You'll be able to show them around while I'm working. And the last two weeks," Anna knew she was talking too fast, but she wanted to finish the speech she had prepared, "we spend together, planning the rest of 'our' world tour."

Cassie looked up at Anna, hope in her eyes. "You want to come too?"

"Wherever you are, that's where I want to be," Anna told her. "And I can't think of anything more fun than seeing the world with my lover. I want to see Colorado Springs too," she said, becoming a little bashful. "After all," Cassie's heart skipped a beat as Anna looked deep into her eyes, "if I'm going to live there, I should at least check it out."

"Really?" Cassie breathed, unable to believe what she had just heard. "You'd do that? For me? What about your family, your mom and dad, Izzie?"

"They like to travel," Anna told her, "at least once a year, they go on a big trip. Last year, they did Australia and New Zealand. Maybe next year they'll do Colorado?" she grinned. "Anyway, we'll visit them. A lot. They'll be very happy for me, Cass, I know they will. They'll love you. Oh my God," she suddenly remembered, "I'd completely forgotten. They're coming up to visit the day after tomorrow, all three of them. So you'll meet them then." She grinned, triumphantly.

Cassie paled. "So soon?" she asked, "what happens if they don't like me?"

"Cassandra Fraiser, you do talk shit sometimes," Anna's words were brusque. "Of course they'll like you. They'll love you. What's not to like? Apart from your cooking, that is."

Cassandra laughed. "Yeah, I'll bet they never knew that there really is someone who cooks even worse than you. I blame Sam," she said, "whenever Mom tried to teach me to cook, she always suggested something much more fun to do. I can change the brakes on a motorcyle though, thanks to Sam, that's got to be good for something?"

Anna laughed.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"So," Janet reached for Sam's hand as they drove home for a much-anticipated four days together. "Looks like we're going to Tokyo."

"Yeah," Sam smiled. "I've booked the airline tickets, I just need to get a hotel organized. I'll find something online. I know the girls have said we can stay with them, and maybe we will for a couple of nights, but I think it'll be better all round if they have their space."

"And we get some space too, sweetie," Janet squeezed her fingers. "Anyway, Anna's not even left yet, we don't know what size apartment she'll have or anything. And we don't want to disturb anyone at night, do we baby?" she winked saucily at Sam.

Sam gripped the steering wheel tight with her other hand as she absorbed Janet's meaning. "I suppose your snoring could be a bit disruptive," she laughed, earning herself a light slap on the thigh. "I mean, I'm used to it by now, but we don't want your nocturnal habits out in the open, do we?"

Janet grinned lasciviously. "We certainly don't, baby, we certainly don't!"


	9. Chapter 9 MEETING THE FAMILY

Janet looked up groggily. As she peered myopically round the room, she realized she was on her own. Mildly peeved at the loss of her warm colonel-shaped pillow, she sat up, intending to go downstairs and find her lover. As she sat, however, the door opened, and Sam entered, bearing two steaming mugs of coffee.

"Mornin'," Sam said softly, smiling as she took in Janet's rumpled appearance, "how did you sleep?" and she passed Janet one of the mugs.

"Great," Janet smiled fondly at Sam. "I always sleep well with your arms around me." She moved over in the bed, leaving room for Sam to slide back in next to her.

Holding her coffee carefully so as not to spill it, Sam climbed in next to Janet. Janet snuggled up next her. "What about you?" she asked, peering closely at Sam, forgetting she hadn't put her lenses in yet and wondering why Sam seemed so out of focus.

Sam laughed, and reached into the drawer on the nightstand, handing Janet her glasses. "Good," she replied, "real good. I feel ready for anything today."

Janet put her glasses on and observed her lover, seeing that she had been telling the truth. Janet could always tell if she had had a bad night. This morning, however, she looked fresh faced and well-rested.

The two women sat companionably drinking their coffee. When she had finished hers, Janet put the mug on the nightstand and leaned into Sam, wrapping her arm protectively around her stomach and holding her tight. Sam took a final gulp of coffee and put her mug next to Janet's. "Hey," she said gently, "you okay?"

"'course I'm okay," Janet's voice was muffled, "I've got you here with me. I'm more than okay." She looked up and saw Sam's beautiful big blue eyes looking down at her, concern visible in her gaze. "Really, Sam," she sat up some and took Sam's hand in hers. "I'm good."

"It's hard on you," Sam said sadly. "Harder than for me. I hate being apart from you, but at least the job, and Atlantis itself, keep me so busy that a lot of the time I don't get time to think. But you're still here," she leaned toward Janet and kissed her gently on the lips, "and nothing's changed for you work-wise. But now when you get to come home in the evening, you're all alone, most of the time."

"Don't let Toby hear you say that!" Janet's tone was gently humorous. "He takes his duties as my protector very seriously you know."

Sam laughed. "You know what I'm saying baby," she said, "and I'm so sorry. Sometimes I forget that you are the one having to do most of the 'dealing'. It won't be forever hon. And," she brightened at the thought, "you're coming out again in just over two weeks, aren't you?"

Janet nodded cheerfully. "Seems Jennifer Keller and I work well together. We've got lots of ideas that we want to implement. So many," she grinned, "that I reckon I'll be heading out Atlantis-way regularly for quite some time," she tightened her grip on Sam.

Sam squeezed her fingers. "That works well for me," she smiled, "after all, it's my responsibility to ensure that every possible effort is made to safeguard the health of all of those in my team, and in the city."

"So," Janet said. "What d'you want to do today?"

"I just want to spend the day with you," Sam told her, "I don't care where we go, or what we do, just so long as you're with me. It's up to you, honey, you decide what to do."

Janet smiled. "In that case, you'd better make yourself comfortable baby, 'cos we ain't going nowhere this mornin'," she said in a Southern drawl. "I have plans for you right here," and she reached up to take off her glasses.

"No," Sam's voice was husky, and she put her hand up to stop Janet. "Leave them on. You know what they do for me. It's that sexy librarian thing all over again," and she leant down to kiss her lover thoroughly, her hand snaking up the inside of Janet's pajama top.

"Okay," Janet gasped, "if that's what you want honey."

"It is," Sam said firmly, taking Janet in her strong arms, "it sure is."

****

"You're nervous," Anna accused Cassie.

"I am _not_!" Cassie declared.

"You are, sweetheart, I can tell," Anna smiled at Cassie. "And that's okay. It's quite nice, actually. You're meeting my family for the first time in, what..." she looked at her watch, "three hours and 24 minutes, and you're nervous as a kitten. Don't get me wrong, Cass," she put her hand reassuringly on her arm, "I think it's lovely that you care enough to be nervous. To want to give a good impression. It means you care about me. It's been a long time since somebody's cared that much about me."

"I do care about you, Annie," Cassie said, "I love you. You know that. I have since the first minute I saw you, but somehow I still love you more each day. Each day, I think I couldn't possibly love you any more, but then I wake up the next day and I do. Strange, huh?"

Anna laughed gently. "Well it's the same for me Cass. I don't think I've ever loved anybody so much. And I'm sorry if that means you feel scared of meeting my family, but I'm so pleased that you do, if you follow me."

Cassie grinned. "I know I'm going to love them. I just hope they like me."

Anna pulled her into a tight hug. "They will, Cass, I promise you. Mum was so excited when I told her on the phone yesterday. I've been single for nearly three years, I think she was beginning to despair that I'd ever find the right person."

Cassie still couldn't believe that somebody as captivating as Anna could have been alone for so long. "Well you're definitely not single now," she said, trying to keep her tone light.

"No," Anna smiled, "and I couldn't be happier about it. It's weird, Cassie. In just over a week we're going to be apart for two months, but I've never felt happier. More settled. More sure of the future. And that's all thanks to you."

"It's thanks to Sam, really," Cassie said, laughing softly, "and her obsession with Jane Austen. If I hadn't spotted that book, I might never have stayed in the bookstore long enough to meet you." Her mouth went dry at that thought. "Oh my God, Annie," she looked distraught, "that's how close it was. We might never have met. '_Us_' might not have happened."

"Life is a series of happenings," Anna said thoughtfully, "and we just have to be grateful that one of your 'happenings' coincided with one of mine. And from now on, we'll have to make sure that we share as many of our happenings as possible. I'm not leaving anything to chance," she kissed Cassie gently. "I'm not going to risk losing you."

"It'll never happen," Cassie's voice shook with emotion. "Not even if your family hate me!"

"They'll love you, sweetheart," Anna told her for about the fiftieth time. "And Izzie's bursting with excitement. She thinks you joining the family means she's going to get another sister. I suppose she will, in a way?" it was Anna's turn to look nervous.

"Oh she will," Cassie said with feeling, "I can't wait to meet her. I haven't got a sister, and I've always wanted one."

"Even one with Down's?" Anna wondered.

"If she's half as wonderful as you say she is, then _especially_ one with Down's," Cassie reassured her. "Everybody's different, I know that better than anyone. I'm just hoping she'll want to be my sister when she's met me."

"She will, Cass, she will," Anna said with conviction. "I'm nervous too," she admitted in a small voice. "I want you to love them as much as I do. They've been so wonderful to me, Cass. They've always been there for me, all of them. Even when things got bad, actually especially when things were bad, they've always been there. I'm very lucky."

"When things got bad?" Cassie wanted to know.

Anna kissed her again. "I'll tell you soon, I promise. I had a bad time a few years ago. But everything's okay now." She looked at Cassie. "Everything's perfect now," she said, with feeling. "Just perfect."

"We're all going to be one big happy family, Annie," Cassie returned Anna's kiss. "Well, two big happy families. You've still got to meet Mom and Sam. And Toby, of course."

"Toby?" Anna asked.

"The smartest dog in the state," Cassie affirmed, a wide grin on her face. "He's a deal-breaker actually. Love me, love my dog."

"Good thing I've always liked dogs then, isn't it?" Anna laughed.

"Annie?" Cassie asked. "We'll talk soon, huh?"

Anna nodded, turning away so Cassie wouldn't see the tears in her eyes. Cassie was more observant than Anna realized, though, and she put a soft hand on her back. "I've got lots to tell you about my life too, baby," Cassie said in a quiet voice. "It's all going to be okay."

Anna nodded. "I know it," she said, her voice cracking. "We'll talk tonight, after they've gone. I promise."

Cassie rubbed her hand soothingly over Anna's tight shoulders. "Only if you want to," she said, in a gentle voice. "Whenever you're ready."

"Tonight," Anna whispered.

****

A knock sounded at the door. Anna squeezed Cassie's hand gently, and went over to open the door. Her father enveloped her in a huge bear hug, lifting her off the ground and swinging her round.

"Hi Dad!" Anna said. "Mum! Iz!" and she went over to her mother and sister, and gathered them both in a warm embrace. "I've missed you!"

"We've missed you too Anna," Izzie said. Her voice was slow, but clear, with a lovely warm tone to it. Cassie's heart melted when she saw her lover slip her hand in her sister's, and pulled her across the room.

"Izzie," Anna said, "I want you to meet Cassie. She's very special to me."

Izzie smiled widely at Cassie, and stepped forward, putting her arms round Cassie and hugging her tight. "Hello Cassie," she said. "I'm really happy to meet you."

Cassie returned her hug. "I'm real pleased to meet you too, Izzie, Annie's told me all about you."

Izzie grinned. "I like her!" she announced to her sister. "She's nice. And pretty."

Anna smiled. "She is, isn't she? Cassie, come over here and meet Mum and Dad," and she introduced her to her parents, both of whom greeted her warmly with affectionate hugs and kisses.

The family then spent the best part of an hour drinking tea and chatting non-stop. Cassie was entranced by Anna's family. Her parents were so young, and so full of life. Her mother, in particular, hardly drew breath as she rattled off all the family news, and updated Anna on all that had happened in their neighborhood. Her father smiled indulgently as 'his girls' chattered away. Cassie noticed that Izzie didn't expect, and didn't get, any special treatment; she joined in happily with the others, and if she didn't understand anything that was being said, she just demanded, and got, an explanation.

"Hard to get a word in edgeways, isn't it Cassandra?" Anna's father Roy said with a laugh in his voice.

Cassie laughed. "It's like Anna times three!" she agreed. She turned to him, "and I just love it!"

"Well said!" he replied, "you're going to fit right in I think! Come on, let's see if we can interrupt them, I've booked a restaurant for lunch, we should be leaving."

So, still chattering away, the group of them made their way to a nearby restaurant. Cassie saw Anna slip her hand into her mother's as they reached the street, and she was enormously touched when Izzie came up to her and, very naturally, took Cassie's arm. "It's this way," she said, "Dad took us here last time. I'll show you."

"Thanks Isabella," Cassie smiled warmly at the affectionate girl.

"Call me Izzie," she replied. "All my friends call me Izzie."

****

After their morning in bed, Sam and Janet finally got up, showered and dressed. "C'mon," Sam announced. "I want to take you to lunch. Somewhere outside. It's a beautiful day. And then," she groaned dramatically. "I've really got to go shopping; I've got to get Cass something for her birthday. Will you help me look?"

"Of course I will hon," Janet said. "It'll cost you a steak and a half bottle of Merlot though. And you're driving home."

"Deal!" Sam grinned.

****

Three hours later, Sam was looking excitedly through the shelves in the store. "Samantha Carter!" Janet chided, in her most schoolmarm-y voice. "Just because you're a geek doesn't mean you have to buy everything from CircuitCity!"

"Jan!" Sam ignored her, "look at this. It's perfect! She'll love it."

Janet smiled, and looked over her lover's shoulder. "For once, you may be right, Sam, you may be right."

Sam grinned. "I'm getting it!" she decided, and looked round for a sales assistant.

****

"It's been a real pleasure to meet you, Cassie," Roy told her as they said goodbye outside the door to the apartment.

"Roy!" shrieked Anna's mother Carolyn. "Don't be so formal! Cassie's one of the family now!" she said, and flung her arms round her daughter's girlfriend. "I don't know when or where we'll see you next," she told her, "but it'll be soon, we'll make sure of that."

Izzie nodded enthusiastically. "We'll come and see you somewhere on your trip," she said, "won't we Dad?" Roy smiled his assent. "I really like you Cassie," she told her, "you're nice. Not like Tina, she was horrible. She hurt Anna."

Carolyn looked sternly at Izzie, and shook her head. "What?" asked the girl. "It's true, isn't it? She made Anna ill."

Anna put her arms round her sister. "It is true, Izzie, you're quite right. And Cassie and I have already agreed we're going to talk about it all tonight. It's okay Mum," she saw Carolyn about to protest. "It's over now, and I want Cassie to know everything about me. Once she does, I'll never have to think about it again."

Cassie took Anna's hand and squeezed it gently. "I'm gonna head up to the apartment," she told them all. "It's been a real blast. Thank you so much for lunch, and for welcoming me into your family. Anna, you walk them to the parking lot, you can say goodbye there." She kissed Roy gently on the cheek, and gave Izzie a warm hug. "I'll be good to her, I swear," she told her new sister. "I'll look after her."

Izzie smiled back. "See you soon!" she said.

****

Cassie made her way upstairs, and watched out of the window as she saw Anna and her family round the corner on the way to the parking lot. She swallowed; her mind was in a turmoil. She was glad, and grateful, to have been welcomed so warmly into this wonderful family. But she could tell from what Izzie had said, and from Carolyn's reaction, that Anna's 'bad time' had probably been worse than she had imagined. She would not ask Anna to reveal more than she was comfortable with, but she would do her utmost to support her.

It was nearly half an hour later when Anna returned to the apartment, and Cassie was in the kitchen, washing up the mugs they had used for tea earlier in the day. She heard the apartment door open, and looked round to see Anna standing in the kitchen doorway.

"They love you," Anna told her, smiling gently, "I told you they would."

Cassie shook the remaining water off her hands and dried them on a towel that lay on the counter. "I love them too," she told Anna, with complete honesty. "You have wonderful parents. And Izzie's just a peach."

Anna grinned with pride. "She really is, isn't she? They love her at the old people's home, the matron there says she cheers them all up on the days she goes in."

"I can see why," Cassie agreed. "She's beautiful, and she's got a beautiful personality to match."

Anna stepped forward and gathered Cassie in her arms, and held her tight. "Can we go to bed before we talk?" she asked in a small voice. "I promise I'll tell you everything afterwards. Making love to you makes me feel so good, so happy."

"Of course we can," Cassie reached up and kissed her lover deeply. "If it were up to me, we'd never get out of bed. But you don't have to tell me anything, not if you're not ready Annie."

"I want you to know," Anna's voice was small and frightened. "I don't want there to be any secrets between us."

"Okay, baby," Cassie told her as she led her towards the bed. "Whatever you need."

****

Two hours later, Anna wrapped her arms round Cassie, and pulled her gently onto to her lap. She ran her hand through Cassie's hair. "I had a breakdown," she started in a halting voice. "Nearly three years ago."


	10. Chapter 10 PAST IMPERFECT

"I had a breakdown," Anna said. "Nearly three years ago."

Cassie sat up, and looked at Anna's distraught face. She didn't know what to say, so she just took her hand. She realized that her lover was shaking slightly. "You cold?" she asked her gently. Anna nodded. Cassie pulled the quilt up, then got out of bed, and grabbed a thick blanket that was on the chair on the other side of the room. She wrapped it tenderly round Anna's shoulders, and her own, and drew Anna to her.

"It's all okay now," Anna said earnestly to Cassie, feeling under the blanket to reclaim her hand. "You can see I'm okay now, so you mustn't worry, Cassie. I really am fine now. I've never been so happy, don't ever forget that."

Cassie kissed her softly. "You don't have to do this," her voice was compassionate.

"It all began just over four years ago," Anna went on, ignoring her remark. "I'd just started a teaching job near Windsor, which I loved. I was teaching English to secondary school kids, and for the most part, they were all great and really keen. Of course there was the odd one who wasn't interested, but that just added to the challenge."

"Sounds great," Cassie said.

"It was," Anna agreed. "I was having a great time during the day, and also in the evenings. Two of the other teachers were my age, and we often went out to bars and clubs, and sometimes to the theatre. We were at the theatre one night, and saw a truly awful play. It was so dreadful that we left at the interval, and we weren't the only ones, about 10 others left at the same time. Most of us went to a pub nearby, and we were all laughing so hard about the terrible over-acting. And that was how I met Tina. Krystina, was her full name. Still is, I suppose," and Anna laughed, but the laugh was hollow. Cassie could tell she was trying to lighten the atmosphere. She dreaded to think what Anna was about to tell her, but she wanted to know too, she didn't want Anna to feel she had to hide anything from her.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

"I wonder how it all went," Sam mused, as she and Janet ate their dinner that evening. They were both loving just being together, and were trying not to think about Sam's return to Atlantis in two days' time. Still, they were coping okay with the distance, and were both finding that the regular visits were enough, for the moment. They had agreed, though, that this would be the last time they'd ever consider being apart for any length of time.

"Huh?" Janet's mouth was full of chilli. She knew how inelegant she looked, and winked impishly at Sam.

"Cass, meeting Anna's family," Sam reminded her, smiling. "I remember the first time I met your Mom, I was terrified."

Janet grinned. "You were not!" she said laughing. "You can't have been scared of Mom. She's even smaller than I am!"

Sam looked her straight in the eye. "I was terrified she might not like me, and wouldn't think I was good enough for her beautiful daughter. I couldn't have borne it if anything had gotten between us. I already knew that I wanted you in my life, for ever."

Janet was moved by Sam's words. "She loves you, Sam," she took her hand. "And she has, right from the beginning." Janet thought of her mom, who lived in a retirement complex in Montana. Both she and Sam had tried to persuade her to move to Colorado Springs, but Montana was the last home she had had with her late husband, Janet's father. She had all her friends around her, and was happy in the complex. She had her own apartment, but everything was warden-controlled, and she had a great social life, and played bridge obsessively with other residents.

"She's great," Sam smiled warmly. "She's like a shorter version of you, and she's so funny too, just like you."

"I was scared too, honey, meeting Jacob and Selmak, can you imagine a more scary way to meet your father-in-law?" Janet said, with a laugh. "Talk about two for the price of one."

"Yeah," Sam agreed, "I was nervous as hell too, getting to know Selmak. But she was great for Dad, he really softened up. I still miss him, and Selmak too. But I'll always be grateful for those years, I think I was closer to Dad then than at any other time."

Janet nodded. "He was real proud of you, Sam," she told her.

"I know," Sam's voice was thoughtful. "And he was so happy we had gotten together, and loved his granddaughter so much too. Familes, huh," she laughed ruefully, "they can get so complicated. But I'll bet it went really well with Anna's family. And who could fail to love Cassie?"

Janet agreed. "We'll phone them tomorrow morning, just to check it's all good, okay baby?"

Sam nodded.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

"That evening," Anna continued, "Tina was so funny. She's Polish, a dancer," she fought to keep control of her voice as she dragged up memories she had tried so hard to tamp down. "And she re-enacted one of the scenes from the play, which was even funnier in her Polish accent. Her English was excellent, she had lived over here for nearly ten years, but you could still hear the accent. Sometimes I wondered if she kept it deliberately, just to be different. Who knows," she shrugged.

Cassie rubbed her back reassuringly.

"It's okay," Anna said. "We all stayed there until the pub closed, and then I got the bus back to my flat. Turned out Tina lived nearby, so we got off at the same stop. She came in for a coffee, and we just talked for hours. At that point, I found her captivating. She was 32, so nearly ten years older than me. But she looked so young, and she was beautiful, and she had a wonderful body." She swallowed. "Sorry, Cass," she said, "but I want you to know everything. I want you to understand why I fell for her. She was funny, and sexy, and clever, and charming. She was also incredibly jealous and controlling, but I didn't know that then. I just wanted to be with her. It was after 3am when she left, and all we'd done was talk. But I knew I wanted her. When she knocked at my door the next night, I was so excited I could hardly think straight."

Anna looked up at Cassie. "Don't suppose there's any of that whisky left is there Cass?"

Cassie could see she was struggling to hold it together. She went out to the kitchen, and returned with the half-full bottle and two mugs. "No glasses, I'm afraid," she smiled. She poured a slug of whisky into one mug, and passed it to Anna, as she snuggled back under the blanket with her.

Anna swallowed gratefully, feeling the warm liquid settle reassuringly in her stomach. "By the end of the month, I'd moved in with her. It was quick, I know," she said, "but I loved her. And I thought she loved me. Maybe she did," she mused, "in her way. To start with, everything was great. The sex was fantastic," she looked apologetically at Cassie.

"It's okay, Annie," Cassie's voice was soothing, "I don't expect you never to have slept with anybody else, we've both got pasts, and that's fine."

"She insisted we have separate rooms, though," Anna said, "and I suppose I should have realized then that something was off. But for the first couple of months, she came to my room every night. She wouldn't stay after, though. The first night she stayed with me all night, and it was magical, waking up with her in my arms the next morning. But after that night, she always went back to her own room after. She said it was to do with having a bad back from all her dancing, and I believed everything she said. I missed her, but then she'd come back again the next night."

"Whisky?" Cassie offered, raising the bottle.

Anna shook her head. "Not yet, I want a clear head," she told her. "So things were good, for about three months. And for a long time after that, I convinced myself that everything was still fine. But she started to want to control a lot of what I did, what I wore, who I saw. To start with, I was touched, she'd take me shopping, tell me what clothes suited me, and that made me feel special. But I came home one day to find my favorite jacket had 'disappeared'. She claimed to know nothing about it, but I saw it at the bottom of the dustbin, and I knew she'd thrown it out. I should have said something, I know, but I was caught in her spell. And my confidence failed me, I wondered if she had been right about the jacket, that it made me look fat."

"Fat!" Cassie spluttered. "You? Never!"

"Don't forget, she was a dancer," Anna said, "and she thought everybody should be ultra-thin. She started to make remarks about my weight. Nothing direct at first, she'd just look slightly disapproving if I had a second bowl of cereal in the morning, that sort of thing. And then she started making me low-fat lunches to take to school. I thought she was just being considerate, trying to save me money, being kind. One day, though," her voice shook at the memory, "she found I hadn't eaten my lunch. We'd had a special celebration for the school secretary, she'd just got engaged. So four of us took her out to lunch to congratulate her. Tina was so angry, she threw the lunch box at the wall, and stormed out. She didn't come back until 2am, and she was drunk when she came back in. She still came to my room, but it was awful, Cass. She was really... rough. She was so angry with me, I didn't know what to do. So I just kept quiet, and once she had finished she went to her room."

Cassie was horrified. "Anna..." she began.

"Let me finish, Cass," Anna said softly. "After that, it got better, quite a lot better, for a while. Tina apologized to me the next morning, told me she just couldn't bear to watch food being wasted like that. And she was sweet and kind, and I tried to forget all about it. As the weeks went on, though, she started being more and more controlling. She took me to her hairdresser's, as a 'treat', but once we got there, she insisted that my hair was cut just the way she liked it. It was okay, though, like that, so I didn't bother to say anything. You pick your battles, you know?"

Cassie nodded miserably.

"She kept on at me about my diet, too," Anna continued, "so in the end I just ate what she wanted me to eat. I lost a bit of weight, but not much."

"You don't have weight to lose!" Cassie protested.

"She couldn't see that," Anna said grimly. "Anyway, I just let it go. I still loved her, you see, Cass. I suppose she was my first real passion, and after a while, I lost all my confidence, so I started to rely on her to make all my decisions for me. I convinced myself that I needed her advice, and that without her I'd just screw up my life. And when she suggested I see less of my friends, I agreed to that too. In the end, I hardly saw anybody. Mum and Dad spent much of that year travelling, 'cos Izzie had got into a college, where she lived in. I still visited Izzie every few weeks though, I insisted on that, and I think Tina knew she couldn't stop me doing that. No fucking way."

Cassie started, that was the first time she's heard Anna use such harsh language. "So what happened, Annie?" she put her arm round Anna's shoulders and squeezed tight. "What was it that split you up?"

Anna paled. Cassie wordlessly poured another small slug of whisky and handed it to her. She swallowed it down.

"We'd been together nearly a year," her voice wasn't much above a whisper. "She'd been away for a few days, some dance presentation that her group was doing in the north. So I was 'in charge' of the kitchen. Usually she hated me doing any of the cooking, as she liked to keep control of my calorie intake, so she did all the shopping before she left so that I didn't 'slip'."

"Slip?" Cassie was burning with anger. "How dare she treat you like that?"

"By that stage, Cass, I thought I needed her to make those decisions for me. I know," Anna looked embarrassed, "how the hell could I have become such a wreck? But I was. Anyway," she cleared her throat, "most of the stuff in the fridge was salads, naturally. And I must not have been paying enough attention, but by the time I'd noticed it, a chicken breast - skinless of course - had gone off, it was rotten. I knew how angry Anna had been after I'd wasted that lunch, so I buried it right at the bottom of the dustbin, under all the other rubbish."

Cassie couldn't believe that Anna, this vital, confident, lovely person had been reduced to such a state that she was hiding trash from her lover. Her heart broke at what she had been through, but she understood, she knew that love did strange things to people, and how insidious these things could be.

"When I came back from school that day," Anna said, "she was already there. She was rather cold to me, I thought, but I put it down to her being tired. She was making a spicy casserole, which I took to be a good sign, it meant she didn't mind me having a filling meal. I thought," she snorted derisively at the memory, "I thought she was trying to be nice to me. Little did I know."

Cassie squeezed her arm. "You okay, honey?" she asked gently.

Anna nodded. "I am now. With you here. Are you sure you want to hear all this?"

Cassie nodded. "I hate hearing what she did to you, Annie, but if you want to tell me, I want to hear it. It's never going to happen again though, I swear to you."

Anna's eyes filled with tears. "Oh God, Cass, I know that. That's one thing I'm sure of. Well, two things: one, we'll be together for ever; and two, you'll always treat me beautifully. I love you Cass. And I'm only telling you all this so you know what's gone on. Try not to let it get to you, sweetheart, it really is all over. And I'm the happiest I've ever been," she knew she was repeating herself, but she hated knowing the effect on Cassie of what she had already said, and what she was about to say.

"So she made the casserole, and called me into the kitchen. I was surprised," she recalled bitterly, "that she had given me such a large portion. But I was hungry," she said, "and I knew she hated waste, so I ate it all. I wanted to please her, so I did what she wanted. At that stage, I always did what she wanted. But then, only a few minutes after I'd finished, I started feeling really terrible. I noticed she was watching me closely. She asked me what was wrong. I was going to say nothing, but I knew I was going to be sick. So I told her I felt a little queasy. I was frightened she was going to be angry with me. But she looked pleased. She got up from the table, and got something from the counter. She put it in front of me; it was the packet the chicken breast had been in."

"No!" Cassie gasped. "She didn't. She couldn't have?"

"She did," Anna whispered. "And she told me that she was teaching me a lesson about wasting food, that I hadn't learned last time, and that this time I wouldn't forget."

"Oh my God," Cassie's voice was shocked. "What did you say?"

"Nothing," Anna recalled miserably, "by that time I was in the bathroom. I only just made it there in time."

"Didn't she call the doctor?" Cassie was astounded.

Anna laughed. "Hardly," she answered. "She went out. For four hours. By the time she got back, I'd passed out on the bathroom floor. The next thing I remember is her sitting me up on the bathroom floor, and shaking me, asking if I had got the message."

Cassie realized that Anna was trembling again, and wrapped the blanket tighter around her shoulders.

"I told her I had," Anna continued.

"Did she call the doctor then?" Cassie knew just how serious food poisoning could be.

"No," Anna said. "But she did change suddenly. She became sweet and caring," she saw Cassie's mouth open, "I know, it was like she was a different person. She cleaned me up, carried me to bed, and she stayed with me. For the first time in months," her voice hitched, "she stayed all night in the same room with me. I think," she explained, "that I was more ill than she had expected. I think maybe she thought I'd just have a bad few hours and that would be that."

"How long were you sick?" Cassie's voice was barely audible.

"I threw up for four days, I think. It was hard to tell. I had a high fever, so it was difficult to work out how much time had passed. But that's not the worst part, Cass. The worst part is that I was actually _grateful_ to her for looking after me! God, it sounds so stupid now," her voice grew increasingly bitter. "For the first time in months, she was kind and sweet and tender; she held me when I threw up, which I did a lot, she didn't complain for one moment about all the work I was causing her. And she stayed with me all night, holding me, sponging me down, soothing me, wrapping me in warm quilts, trying to feed me water. For four days. When I woke on the fifth day, she was asleep, but holding me in her arms, and I felt safe, and loved. I know," she saw the fury on Cassie's face. "It was so stupid of me. But I had been in such pain; I really thought I might die when I was at my worst. So when I woke up, feeling almost human, in her arms, I was just so relieved. And she continued to be sweet to me. She even told me she was sorry about the 'accident' with the chicken, and that she was so glad I was feeling better."

Cassie had started to weep now, hot, angry tears coursing down her face. Anna reached out and poured a slug of whisky into the other mug, and passed it to her. "It's okay, Cass," she said quietly.

Cassie shook her head. "It's not okay," she said hotly, "I can't believe she could do that to you. So you left then?"

Anna's laugh was hollow. "No, Cass," she told her, "I wish I could tell you I did, but I didn't. I was so low by then sweetheart," she tried to explain, "that I really thought I needed her. For everything. And she was so gentle with me afterwards. I lost a lot of weight in those few days, twelve pounds in all. She told me I was beautiful, that I was finally the right shape. She couldn't get enough of me, physically," Anna stumbled over her words. "I felt loved again. I know now it was a twisted, controlling love. But I thought she was making me happy, and I wanted to make her happy too. So I was desperate to keep the weight off," she took a deep breath.

"I had to take ten days off work, I was so weak. By the time I returned, I was trying so hard not to eat. I know I looked dreadful. Stacy, the school secretary, told me I looked like death warmed up. She tried to get me to eat, but I fobbed her off, told her I'd had a big breakfast, and that I'd be eating that night, all the old excuses. And Tina showered me with compliments all the time about my body. I think it wasn't so much what I looked like, more that I was just doing exactly what she wanted. She didn't want a lover, she wanted someone to control, a pet almost," Anna's voice cracked with remembered hatred.

"How long did that go on for?" Cassie wanted to know.

"Not long," Anna said. "Just under two weeks. It might have been longer, but I passed out in the staff room one afternoon. Stacy wouldn't let them call Tina, even though she was down as my next of kin. She knew Mum and Dad had returned from their trip the week before - she knew because I'd told her that Tina and I couldn't see her for a few weeks, Tina's decision of course - so she took it on herself to call Mum. She had guessed for a long time that Tina was treating me badly, I'd changed so much in the past few months. And she knew that I'd passed out because I wasn't eating; wearing baggy clothes hadn't fooled her for one moment."

"Thank God for Stacy," Cassie said, with feeling, her heart racing with emotion.

"Yeah," Anna agreed. "Mum and Dad drove straight down, I've never seen Dad so angry when he saw the state I was in. We went straight round to the flat to collect my things. I think I was relieved that they'd found out. Deep down, I knew it wasn't right, any of it. It took me hitting rock bottom to realize it, though."

Cassie hugged her tight.

"Story's nearly finished," Anna said, trying to smile. "When we got to the flat," her voice hitched again, "Tina was there. She's obviously taken the day off from the dance studio, and she was on the couch, naked, with one of the young dancers. After all that, she was cheating on me. But," she took another deep breath, "that was the best thing that could have happened. Any last vestige of love I had for her evaporated in that moment. Dad told me after that that was the closest he had ever got to hitting a woman. I'm glad he didn't, though, she wasn't worth it. He's too good to be brought down to that level."

She smiled at Cassie. "I'm so sorry, Cass, to burden you with all of this. I wasn't sure how much to tell you, but I couldn't lie to you about anything, I thought it was best just to get it all out there. Are you okay?"

Cassie sniffed, and looked over at her, her eyes full of hurt and love. "I'm fine, Annie," she said, "just so long as you're okay, that's all that matters to me."

Anna took her hand. "I really am okay, Cass, you have to believe me. I've been good for well over two years. It was rough to start with, and Mum and Dad bore the brunt of it all. I wasn't very nice to live with for a few months, and I had lots of 'food issues', but they got me all the help I needed. I saw a counsellor for over a year, and he helped me to put my brain in order again. And Izzie, when she came back from college, helped me so much. Iz is completely honest about everything, you may have noticed that? She can't lie, she just doesn't know how to."

Cassie smiled, "yeah," she said, "I noticed that. But she only ever seems to have good things to say."

"She didn't have anything good to say about Tina," Anna remembered, a small bloom of pride in her heart at the memory of her sister's protective fury at Tina. "But she told me I was beautiful, at least when I wasn't so thin, and that I was a wonderful person. And even though Mum and Dad had been saying that for months, it was only when Iz said it that I absolutely believed it. So everything slowly fell back into place. I started eating normally again, I grew my hair," Cassie reached up and ran her hand through the thick ringlets, "and life slowly became sweet again. And then I went back to teaching part-time in a local school which I loved. Mum was the one who suggested I go back to college to do the MA. She and Dad told me I was still young, but sooner or later I'd have to settle down and follow a career path and I should make the most of any opportunity. So they paid for me to study for a year, and honestly Cass, it was the most healing experience of my life. Literature and art has all the answers, you know?"

Cassie looked at her, nodding her understanding.

"I mean it, I know it sounds crazy. But if you look, all the answers are there. It was a wonderful year, and I'll forever be grateful to Mum and Dad for making it possible. I was finally able to understand what had happened to me, and to feel sorry for Tina."

"Feel sorry for her?" Cassie exploded.

Anna took her hand. "Yes, Cass," she said in a gentle voice. "Can you imagine how unhappy she must be, if she can only get her kicks that way? She'll never have the happiness I've got now, she'll never understand the meaning of true love. She'll never have someone like you."

"That's one thing I don't understand," Cassie took her hand. "You were so welcoming to me. Immediately. You weren't wary, or frightened. Or at least you didn't show it if you were. How come you were able to open up so completely to me? In your position, I'd have been terrified of ever letting myself be vulnerable again."

"I wasn't frightened," Anna said, "and I'm not quite sure why. I hadn't been with anyone since Tina, and I wasn't really looking for somebody. I was happy with the person I was. I'd finished my degree, and I was just spending some time exploring this amazing city before I go to Japan. But then I saw you. It sounds corny, sweetheart, but as soon as I saw you, I just knew. I wasn't sure I'd have the courage to say anything to you, but I knew immediately that I wanted you in my life for ever, even if it was only as a friend. I didn't know if you were gay, even. To start with I didn't care, I just enjoyed being in your company. But I was so angry with myself when I thought you'd left for France. Seeing you at the doorstep that night, wet and bedraggled, covered in dirt; you were the most beautiful sight I had ever seen."

"So you trust me never to let you down like that?" Cassie's voice was small.

"I trust you with my life, Cass," Anna said simply. "You are my life."

Cassie noticed that Anna had stopped shaking, and all the tension had gone from her face. She took her face in both hands, and kissed her softly. "Think you can sleep now?" she asked her tenderly.

Anna nodded. "What about you Cass?"

"We'll both sleep. And then we'll wake up. Together. We'll always be together Annie." Cassie helped her to lie down, and snuggled into her arms. "The future's bright, for us all."

"It is, Cass, it really is," Anna said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

"I told you they'd love her," Janet told Sam as they hung up the phone. "They sound so nice, don't they?"

Sam nodded; she was preoccupied trying to get Toby on his leash. The dog was so excited at the prospect of going out that he wouldn't stay still.

"Once we're all settled, when you're back full time, and when Cass and Anna are living around here, we'll invite them all over, what d'you think?" Janet asked Sam. "Then they can see where they're living, check out in the in-laws, make sure they're happy with everything."

Sam had finally clipped the leash on the over-excited dog's collar. "That's a great idea baby. It was wonderful to talk to Cassie, she sounds so happy. Being with Anna's obviously good for her."

Janet hugged her tightly. "She just needed to find the right woman, Sam. Once you've got the right woman in your life, it's plain sailing."

Sam smiled. "You won't get any argument from me there!" she agreed.


	11. Chapter 11 BIRTHDAY

"Hey sweetie," Janet said gently, as Sam finally struggled to consciousness the next morning. It was a standing joke between them that Sam was not a morning person, while Janet irritatingly perky from the moment she opened her eyes. Janet couldn't understand that Sam was able to rouse so quickly, and completely, on missions, while at home it took her a good half hour, and a very strong coffee, before she came to properly.

Sam grinned, the grin widening as Janet handed her a strong mug of coffee. "You're a lifesaver, Jan," she said, and took a grateful swig.

"Just wanted to make the most of our last full day, hon," Janet said, "sorry if I woke you."

"You didn't wake me," Sam smiled, "and I want to spend every minute with you too, baby. We've got to finish preparing Cass's birthday present, don't forget. D'you find the camera?"

"I did, sweetie," Janet told her, "now we've just got to work out what to say."

Sam had insisted on buying a top-of-the-range mp3 player for Cassie's birthday, reasoning that she wouldn't be able to cart around anything of any size. She had spent much of the previous day loading all of Cassie's music onto the player, taken from her extensive CD collection that she had left behind. Sam also couldn't resist loading Bach's complete works onto the player too, in the hope that, one day, Cassie would be converted to the genius of her favorite composer. Maybe her new girlfriend Anna would help to persuade her? She'd already gotten her reading Jane Austen, which was more than Sam had managed in nearly 11 years, so there was still hope.

The mp3 player had a video facility though, so she and Janet had decided that it would be fun to record a greeting from the two of them, so that was a top priority for that day, with Sam set to head back to Atlantis early the next morning. Sam also wanted to take a long hike with Janet and Toby; the two of them loved to get out in the open air, where they could relax completely and be at one with nature. And of course Toby was always more than happy to keep them company.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

In London that morning, Cassie woke first, and looked at the sleeping Anna in her arms. She was pleased to see that her lover was sleeping peacefully, no sign of the traumatic time they had had the previous evening when Anna had told her of her difficult history. Maybe they really would be able to put it all behind them, and start afresh. Cassie knew there was nothing she would rather do.

Her bladder called, so she slid out gently she from under Anna, shrugged on a robe, visited the bathroom and made her way to the kitchen for some breakfast. She had just put the kettle on to boil, when she saw a sleepy Anna standing in the doorway.

"Hey," she called softly, "how did you sleep?"

"Better than ever," Anna smiled shyly, "thanks to you. How about you Cass? Are you okay after yesterday?"

"I'm great, Annie," Cassie told her, "and I'm so glad you told me all about what happened. Don't get me wrong, I'm mad as hell about what happened to you, but I'm so happy you were able to tell me all about it. And now," she said, firmly, "we can leave it where it belongs, in the past. There'll be nothing like that in your future, in either of our futures."

Anna smiled. "It's is in the past, Cass," she took her hand, "and that's where it's staying. We'll never have to talk about it again."

Cassie looked her deep in the eyes. "We can talk about it, hon, if ever you need to. And I'll be here for you. Just so long as you know she can never hurt you again." She drew Anna into a hug.

"Nothing can hurt me now," Anna's voice was muffled, "not with you beside me."

Cassie noticed that Anna was shivering. "You cold?" she asked her lover, concern in her voice.

"Just my feet," Anna said, "the linoleum in here's a bit chilly."

Cassie grinned. "I've got just the thing for you," she told her, laughing. "Sit there," and she pushed Anna gently into a chair. Seconds later she was back, with Anna's thick robe in one hand, and something else hidden in the other hand. She wrapped the robe round Anna's shoulders. "Eyes shut," she commanded, unable to hide the mirth in her voice. Anna did as she was told, and could feel Cassie putting warm socks on her feet. "Okay," Cassie told her, "you can open them now."

Anna had guessed what sight would greet her, and she was right. Cassie had found the loudest and most vulgar of the pairs of socks she had bought her, and had put them on her. Anna laughed out loud. "Perfect!" she announced, and kissed Cassie softly on the lips. She took her face in her hands, and looked deep into her eyes. "Those were supposed to be a farewell gift," she said, her voice hitching. "I thank God every day that you didn't leave me that night."

Cassie felt the tears gathering in her own eyes. "I need to talk to you about that," she said. "I don't think I can do it."

Anna looked concerned. "Can't do what, Cass?" she could see the troubled look in Cassie's eyes.

"I don't think I can leave you. Not now, not ever. I know it's only two months, Annie, but it's two months too long for me, honey. I don't want to see Paris, or the Taj Mahal, without you. I know you'll be working in Japan, Annie, but I want you with me as much as possible. Will you let me come with you? I'll get a job too, I'll wait tables, anything. Just so we can be together at night. Please don't make me leave you, I don't think I could bear it."

Anna gazed intently at her. "Is this because of what I told you?" she asked Cassie. "Are you worried about how I'll cope? Because if it is, Cass, I promise you I'm over her. I got upset last night, dragging it all up again, but truthfully, she doesn't affect me any more."

Cassie shook her head. "It's not that. Well, only inasmuch as you told me all about her, you trusted me to know how low she made you go. I feel even closer to you than I did before. But no, honey, it's not about me thinking you're needy, all of a sudden. The truth is I need you. I know it's possible to be apart and to still be as strong when you come back together - Mom and Sam are proof of that - but there's a good reason for them to be apart. This world trip thing, it's kind of, well, arbitrary. I left the Springs to travel the world, and, dumb as it sounds, to 'find myself'. But right at the beginning of the trip, I found you instead. And in finding you, I feel I now know myself better than I ever have."

Cassie finally ran out of breath. She looked down, and saw that her hands were trembling. Anna noticed too, and took them both in both of her own. "You finished?" she asked with a smile in her voice.

"Yeah," Cassie felt slightly embarrassed at her impassioned speech. "Reckon so."

"So it's my turn to talk now?" Anna's voice was teasing. Cassie looked up, and saw the smile on her face. She nodded, dumbly.

"The only reason I said you should continue your trip is that I couldn't bear to ruin your experience of a lifetime. But," she saw Cassie was about to interject, "if you want to come to Japan with me, I can't think of anything, in this world, that I would like more. I just didn't want to hold you back, Cass, and I certainly didn't want you to pity me - I don't need anybody's pity, I've got the world at my feet, and the most beautiful girl in it at my side. So I guess what I'm saying is, yes please, come to Japan with me, at my side," she grinned bashfully, "in my bed. In my life. You are my life Cassandra Fraiser, and I'm the luckiest girl in the world."

Cassie flung her arms around Anna. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," she whispered, again and again. "It's all gonna be great."

"It already is great, Cass," Anna said smiling.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"I thought it would get easier," Sam's voice shook as she held Janet tight to her. They were in Janet's office, and had just over half an hour before Sam was due to step through the wormhole to Midway en route to Atlantis. "The more we said goodbye, I thought we'd get used to it."

"It's never going to be easy," Janet replied, sadly, "but think of it this way. The more often we do it, the fewer times left that we'll have to do it."

Sam pulled back, and looked Janet straight in the eye. "That's some sort of logic, I suppose," she said. "Kiss me," she asked in a soft voice.

"No," Janet replied. Sam looked hurt. "Oh Sam, it's not that I don't want to. I'm just being practical. If I kiss you, properly, your make-up'll smear, and then you'll have to spend 15 minutes re-applying it. And I want you here, holding me, until the last possible moment. Anyway," she laughed, self-mockingly. "If I kiss you, I may not be able to stop myself. And what would that look like? The leader of Atlantis found in flagrante on the floor in the infirmary."

Sam laughed too, and drew Janet back into her arms. "Okay, baby, you've got a point. Hold that thought though, and I'll hold you to it in two weeks' time."

So they stayed, tight in each other's arms, until Sam had to leave. "Two weeks?" she said to Janet in a small voice.

Janet nodded. "Two weeks," she said firmly. "Be kind to yourself baby," she said.

"Back at ya," Sam replied, as she straightened her shoulders, grabbed her pack and headed toward the door. "Loving you more each day," she whispered, and stuck her chin out defiantly as she strode down the corridor.

"Back at ya too," Janet whispered.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Four days later, Cassie and Anna were lying lazily in bed, munching toast and drinking coffee, when Cassie's cellphone rang. "Now who could that be calling at such an ungodly hour?" Anna asked in mock indignation. Then she looked at her watch. "Oops," she laughed, "it's nearly 10am! Well answer it Cass!"

Cassie was struggling to unearth the 'phone which was buried deep in her jacket pocket. She grabbed it at last. "Hi!" she called cheerily.

"Happy birthday Cass," Sam's voice echoed down the line.

"Sam!" Cassie was overjoyed. "I thought you couldn't call. Are you back home?"

"No, sweetie, I'm still in Atlantis. But I've worked out a system so I can phone sometimes. And I just had to speak to you on your 22nd birthday!"

Cassie laughed. "I know you'll find this hard to believe, Sam," she giggled, "but I'd clean forgotten it was my birthday."

She heard Anna squeak in the background.

"Are you having a good day?" Sam asked.

"The best," Cassie replied, "I'm sitting here in bed, drinking coffee and spilling toast crumbs all over the quilt. And I've got the most beautiful girl in the world next to me. Can't ask for more than that, can I?"

Sam could hear that her daughter was bubbling over with happiness, and it filled her heart with joy. "Sounds pretty damned perfect to me, honey," she agreed. "So you're off to Paris in a week?"

Cassie grinned. "Change of plan, Sam," she told her, "I'm going to Japan with Annie. I don't want to be apart, I want to be with her as much as I can."

"Then you go, Cass," Sam encouraged her. "Paris'll still be there in a few months. Anyway," she grinned to herself, remembering her trip there with Janet nearly four years go. "Paris is a city for lovers. You and Anna will go one day."

"Yeah," Cassie said wistfully. "That's kinda what I thought."

"So," Sam continued, "if you'd forgotten it was your birthday, does that mean our package hasn't arrived yet?"

"Post doesn't come until mid-morning here," Cassie told her. "Have you sent me something?"

Sam's heart melted; Cassie sounded like an excited 11-year-old, and it took her back to the very early years when everything was new and exciting to her.

"Wait and see," Sam put on a mock-strict tone, "it should be there today. Look, honey, I have to go, the 'gate's only open for another 20 minutes, and we've got two more calls to make. Have a great day Cass. And Cass," she remembered the other major reason for her call, "I talked to your Uncle Jack, who called General Hammond. They know about you and Anna. If you haven't already told her about everything, they're happy for you to do so. They say if you trust her, that's good enough for them."

"How is Uncle George?" Cassie asked; the last thing she had heard from her Mom was that he had been unwell.

"We're not sure, honey," Sam's voice sounded sad. "Your Mom put a call into his specialist, but of course it's all confidential. General O'Neill said he sounded good, and he sends all his love to you. He loves you like a granddaughter, Cass. Never forget that. I really must go now. All my love honey, and to Anna too."

"Love you Sam," Cassie said, as the 'phone rang off.

"Cassie!" Anna exploded. "Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday?"

"It's true, Annie," Cassie laughed. "I forgot. I truly did. Okay, I'm not that stupid, I knew the 28th was my birthday. I just didn't realize today was the 28th! I've been rather... distracted... in the last few days. My mind has been elsewhere!"

Anna laughed. "Well that's as may be, but we're still going to celebrate. I'm taking you to Ginelli's for lunch. And then I want to spend the rest of the day with you, just mooching round the city."

"Sounds perfect," Cassie "first, though, I've got to tell you something. And you're probably going to think I'm crazy when I tell you. But it is true, every bit of it."

Anna looked intrigued. "Is this the top-secret stuff about your adoption?"

"That's part of it," Cassie agreed. "I'm serious, though, it's an incredible story. Just promise me you'll hear me out before you write me off as a nut job. And once I've told you, there are people you can call who'll back up my story."

Anna was mystified, but she could see the trepidation in Cassie's face. "Whatever you tell me sweetheart, I'll believe it, I promise. I told you all about my history yesterday, now I want to hear all about yours. And I know it's classified, so it won't go any further, I promise. Not even Mum and Dad, or Iz. Especially not Iz, she can't keep a secret to save her life. And asking her to lie is just... well, there's no point asking Iz to lie."

Cassie smiled. "That's one of the things that makes her special," she said gently.

Anna smiled. "Yeah, it is. It really is."

Cassie took a deep breath. "It's a long story. A real long story. And it starts in 1928 in Giza, in Egypt."

Cassie recounted the tale of the unearthing of the Stargate, how Sam and Daniel had finally made it work, and how Sam had rescued the orphaned eleven-year-old Cassandra from Hanka when Nirrti killed everybody except her. More than once, Anna wanted to interject, or laugh when something seemed just too incredible. But she could see by the look on Cassie's face that it was all true. Cassie stumbled when she told her of when Nirrti tried to change her into a Hok'tar, and how her brave, fierce mother had threatened the Goa'uld with a pistol to force her to cure her. She told her of how Sam, too, had almost lost her life after being forced into Nirrti's machine that manipulated her genetic make-up. Anna could tell that this must all be true, and that Nirrti had had a terrible effect on Cassie's life.

Eventually, after over an hour, Cassie's narrative came to an end, with her explanation of Sam's current posting in the Pegasus galaxy.

Cassie hadn't expected that she would cry during the tale, but she found that dredging up old memories was painful to her. But she didn't stop, she owed Anna the whole truth; Anna had, after all, told her everything. "So that's about it," she sniffed when she finally came to the end. "You're shacked up with an alien."

Anna took her hand and kissed it gently. "So when I said you were out of this world, Cass, turns out I was right," her voice was gentle. "Thank you for telling me sweetheart. You're right, it's the strangest tale I have ever heard. But I know it's true. Thank you so much for trusting me enough to share it with me."

Cassie nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Thanks," she whispered.

At that moment, there was a knock on the door. It was Anna's Uncle Joe. "Package for you," he called, "I'll leave it by the door."

"Thanks, Joe!" Anna yelled. "We'll come by and see you on our way out."

And she climbed out of bed, and collected the package which, as she had suspected, was addressed to Cassie.

"It's Sam's writing!" Cassie said excitedly. "I wonder what it can be!"

"There's one easy way to find out," Anna teased.

Cassie tore impatiently at the brown paper. First she found a birthday card which, when she opened it, played 'Happy Birthday' in a horribly tinny tone. She laughed, and passed it to Anna, who read "to our beautiful daughter on her 22nd, all our love, Mom, Sam and Toby."

Cassie then unwrapped the box, and was delighted at its contents. "It's an iPod!" she told Anna. "This is great!" A note fluttered to the floor. Anna picked it up and passed it to Cassie.

"I've loaded all your music on here, Cass, and it's fully charged, so you should be able to listen straight away," she saw in Sam's handwriting. "I couldn't resist adding Bach too, one of these days you'll realize what you're missing. And look on the video playlist, your Mom and I have left you a short message."

Cassie clicked the scrollwheel, and under the video section was a file named 'birthday'. "Look," she said excitedly to Anna, "they've recorded a message." She put one of the earphones in her right ear, and passed the other to Anna who put it in her left. She pressed enter, and the screen burst into life. There in front of them was Sam, standing in front of a mirror, holding a video camera.

"Hey Cass!" Sam's tone was light and playful. "I've been waiting for an excuse to use this thing," and she waggled the camera up and down. "We just wanted to say hi on your birthday, and to say hi to Anna too," Sam grinned and waved, and Cassie was very amused to see Anna wave back and mouth 'hi' in reply.

"We hope you're having an incredible day, and aren't missing home too much. I'm gonna take you round the house, just to show you that nothing's changed while you've been away, and also so Anna can see what sort of madhouse you come from. This is our bedroom," Sam giggled. "You know that of course." She set off down the corridor, "this is my study," Anna could see four computer screens just in that one shot, "and you should recognize this room!" Sam walked into Cassie's room. "though your Mom has tidied everything up, so you probably don't recognize it at all," she winked into the camera. "Has she told you how bad she is at the chores Anna?" she asked with a laugh in her voice. Anna squeezed Cassie's hand.

"We're going downstairs now," Sam said as she descended the stairs. "To your Mom's favorite room, the kitchen." Sam panned round the room, and the camera lighted on Janet, who was at that moment bending to take the milk out of the refrigerator. She kept the camera on Janet's backside for a few seconds too long, and Janet stood up laughing.

"I'm sure Cassie and Anna don't need a close-up of my ass!" she scolded Sam, and swatted her lover affectionately. "Hi Cass, hi Anna!" she called from behind the camera, "happy birthday, baby, and I hope today, and every day that follows, is everything that you want it to be. We miss you Cass, and we can't wait to see you again soon. And we can't wait to meet you Anna, though Cassie's talked so much about you you're already part of the family. Talking of family," she disappeared out of frame for the moment as she ducked down, but within seconds was standing up again, Toby the dog in her arms, "here's somebody else to wish you a special day."

Cassie burst out laughing; poor Toby was wearing a bright pink ribbon attached to his collar, and judging by his efforts to remove it, was none too impressed by the decoration.

The camera wobbled for a moment, as Sam set it atop the refrigerator. Then she, Janet and the disgruntled Toby all came into frame together. Sam stood behind Janet, her arms round her shoulders. "Happy birthday, Cass," they chorused, and blew big, silly kisses at the camera. The screen went blank.

Tears of happiness coursed down Cassie's cheeks. "Told you they were nuts," she said to Anna.

"They're just lovely," Anna told her. "And we are going to make it a special day. C'mon, get dressed, we have celebrating to do."

So they spent the rest of the day celebrating life and love, and just being together. At lunch at Ginelli's, Anna whispered to Mario, and when Cassie's lasagne arrived, it had a birthday candle right in the middle of it.

They spent the rest of the day just wandering around the city, sitting in its parks, making out on the benches, and drinking coffee in some of its many coffee shops. At the end of the day, as it got dark and the lights of the city made it look even more beautiful, Anna seized Cassie's hand. "One last thing!" she declared.

Cassie groaned. "I'm tired, Annie," she said, "let's go back to the apartment. I can think of a real good way to pass the time."

"Afterwards," Annie was insistent. "This is something you have to do." And she guided Cassie onto the embankment by the river. She took her by the hand and led her on to one of the passing passenger boats. It was getting chilly by then, and most of the passengers were inside the boat. "Outside," Anna said, "it's a much better view."

So she and Cassie sat at the front of the river cruiser, all alone on a big bench. Anna opened up her big, woollen coat and pulled Cassie beside her so both of them shared its warmth. They held hands as the boat cruised up and down the river, while Anna pointed out all the tourist sites, and old churches and cathedrals. Cassie was spellbound. "It's so beautiful," she told Anna, awestruck at what she saw.

"So are you Cass," Anna replied, kissing her gently. "So are you."


	12. Chapter 12 INFIRMARY VISIT

The next few months flew by for all four women. Cassie and Anna set out excitedly for Tokyo, and Sam and Janet continued to commute back and forth from Atlantis, refusing to let being in separate galaxies damage their relationship. Sam grew in confidence as the success of her leadership of Atlantis became ever more evident, and Janet forced herself to remember each day that this was the best thing for her lover, and for Atlantis. They had both decided that they could never do it again, though. Once was enough.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Cassie and Anna settled happily in Tokyo. Anna liked the American school she worked in, and enjoyed the company of most of her colleagues. The head teacher, Brian Green, was a bit too right-on, and tried just that bit too hard to communicate with his staff, which of course had the opposite effect. Cassie collapsed with laughter that first night, when Anna returned to tell her all about her day. She told her of Green's recently instigated 'talks'. Every morning, he pressed the intercom in his office, and spoke to the staff in the teacher's staffroom of his hopes and dreams for the day.

"No!" Cassie snorted. "What the hell does he think he's doing? If he has something to say, why doesn't he appear in person rather that doing it over the intercom?"

"It gets worse," Anna winked. "He's actually named each morning's talk."

"What do you mean, 'named'?" Cassie was intrigued.

"A different name for each day," Anna was trying not to explode with mirth. "You've got 'Monday's Message', 'Tuesday's Thoughts', 'Wednesday's Wisdom', 'Thursday's Truths' and 'Friday's Finale'. Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous?"

Cassie had to hold her sides, she was laughing so much. "So he's a total idiot then," she guessed.

Anna shook her head. "He's a bit of a pillock," she said, "but he's not a bad man. He means well. And the school's running well, and most of the staff are happy and motivated. So maybe 'Monday's Message' does the trick after all?"

Cassie embraced her tightly. "So you think you'll be okay there?" she peered closely into her lover's face. She knew that Anna hadn't really spent much time teaching since her terrible ordeal, and hoped that this re-introduction to school life would be a gentle one.

Anna smiled. "It's going to be great, sweetheart," she took Cassie's hand and kissed it. "I know what you're thinking, Cass, and you don't have to worry about me. I like it there. I think I'm really going to enjoy it. What about you, how was your day?"

"I got a job!" Cassie told her, triumphantly. "Well, two jobs in fact. Not bad for one day, huh?"

"Spill!" Anna demanded.

"I'm waiting tables at an English bar at lunch time. And I've also got a data inputting job for a pharmaceutical company - in Boston of all places! I found it on the net. But they don't care where I'm based, and even better, they don't care how much or little I do, I'll be paid according to the amount I do for them. So when I'm not spilling coffee on poor unsuspecting Brits, I'll be sitting here typing in data," Cassie grinned.

"Do you really think," Anna knew she was on dangerous ground, "that somebody of your... shall we say, 'limited domestic ability' should be waiting tables?" she ducked as Cassie tried to swat her.

Cassie laughed. "Don't worry, I won't be cooking, I'll just be pouring coffee and handing out muffins. I think I should be able to manage that."

Anna shook her head. "Rather them that me!" she said with a grin.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

So Cassie and Anna settled quickly into domestic harmony. They found that having full-time jobs and living together was just as successful as it had been in London. Cassie had been worried that Anna may prefer some solitude, especially as she usually had to work after coming home after a full day in the school, preparing lessons and marking homework. But Cassie was wrong; they had less time to talk in the evenings, but they found that their silences were companionable and pleasant. Cassie usually took the time to do a couple of hours' data inputting while Anna was working, and they sat happily together working away.

And they made the very most of their weekends, visiting all the local tourist attractions and getting the very most out of the city. What they liked most, however, was to get out of the city and explore the mountains nearby. Their very favorite was Mount Mitake, which was huge and majestic, and reminded them both of the vastness of nature. They also enjoyed the small village at the top of the mountain, where the villagers seemed more gentle than their city counterparts, and welcomed them without making them feel as if they were intruding.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

And so the months went by, and both couples coped well with the trials and tribulations of normal life, with humor and safe in the knowledge that they each had somebody who loved them with all their heart.

Sam sometimes wondered whether she and Janet would be able to manage the whole eighteen-or-so months apart, but then she remembered all the things she still had to do at Atlantis, and she knew, deep down, that she had to stay. At least she was getting to see a good deal of Janet, as she visited the city regularly. Janet and Jennifer Keller worked well together, and they had implemented a great many new procedures to safeguard the health and safety of all those working on Atlantis.

Two days before Sam was due to return to Earth, ready for her and Janet's visit to Cassie and Anna in Tokyo, Janet got a call she had prayed she would never get.

"It's okay," Jennifer Keller's voice sounded tense, though calm. "Don't worry. She's okay, Janet. But Sam's had an accident, and I think maybe she could do with a visit from you."

Janet was cautious, she knew Sam had intended to keep their relationship secret. "What happened?" she asked, trying to keep her voice 'professional', while all the time she desperately wanted to scream, demand details, ask to speak to Sam, anything so she could have solid proof that she was going to be okay.

"I know about you and Sam," Jennifer said quietly. "You don't have to hide it from me, Sam told me all about you two. She broke her leg, on a mission. She was a real hero, Janet, she was trying to rescue me and Rodney. She fell about 30 feet, nasty compound fracture. But she's okay, she's out of danger. She'll feel pretty lousy when she wakes up, though, and I'd really like to tell her that you're at Midway and that you'll be with her soon. Is there any way you could get over here?"

"I'll leave in an hour," Janet's voice was firm. "Tell her I love her, huh? When she wakes up?"

Jennifer was moved by the love in Janet's voice. "She told me you were the best," she said to Janet, "she loves you Janet."

"I know that," Janet said softly, "that's one thing I'm clear on."

So she went to Landry, got everything cleared, packed a few things, and within 40 minutes was stepping through the wormhole onto Midway. She knew the next 24 hours would drive her crazy, waiting to see Sam, to hold her, to know absolutely that she was going to be okay.

Fifteen hours after arriving on Midway, though, the wormhole flared and she heard Jennifer's voice coming through the speakers.

"She's awake, Janet," Jennifer said. "And I've told her I'm gonna let her talk to you on the webcam on her laptop. Five minutes tops, though, she's exhausted and in a lot of pain. I want to top up her painkillers, and she needs to sleep."

"Thank you," Janet tried to keep the emotion out of her voice. "I won't tire her, I promise. I just want to see her."

So Jennifer set the laptop up on a table which she pulled across Sam's bed. "Five minutes," she told her sternly. "You need your rest."

Sam agreed, happily. Her heart filled with joy when she saw Janet's face appear on the screen. "Hey sweetie," she said. "How're you doing?"

"How am _I_ doing Sam?" Janet laughed. "I'm great. How are _you_? Been climbing trees again, huh?"

"Something like that," Sam grinned. "And you know the worst thing?"

Janet shook her head.

"We were rescued by Rodney. McKay the hero, can you imagine?"

Janet laughed. "Remind me to give him a big kiss when I get there." She became serious. "Thank God he did, hon. I need you. So does Cass."

"How is Cassie?" Sam asked her.

"She's great. Missing you. We both are. But she's having a ball in Tokyo. Shit," Janet suddenly realized. "We're not going to make that vacation, are we baby? I'll talk to the girls, we'll have to reschedule. I'm just so glad you're okay, Sam. You are okay?" she couldn't keep the concern out of her voice.

"I'm great," Sam said, with feeling. "I swear. You'll see for yourself soon anyway." She looked up, and saw Jennifer lurking in the doorway. "Gotta go, honey," she laughed. "You're not the only Napoleonic power monger around, I think my communications are about to be cut off!"

"I'm pleased to hear that somebody's making you behave," Janet smiled. "I'll be there in less in a little over eight hours, sweetheart. You try and rest."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet insisted on going straight to the infirmary as soon as she arrived, not even taking the time to dump her bag in her quarters. She was relieved to see Sam sleeping peacefully in a private room, clearly still very much alive and, despite the bruising evident on her face and the cast on her leg, looking healthy. Janet left the room quietly and went in search of Jennifer.

"You sure everything's okay?" she demanded. "What about internal bleeding? Has she had a scan? How much bruising does she have? How are her vitals?"

Jennifer went over and laid a hand on Janet's arm. "She's okay, Janet," she said in a reassuring voice. "I swear. We've done all the tests, she's had an MRI as a precaution, as well as all the normal x-rays. She's badly bruised, but she did fall hard three times, so I would have been surprised if she hadn't been. And there's a tiny hairline fracture on one of her ribs, but we've decided not to strap it because of the bruising to her torso. But she's fine, I swear to you. She's just sore and, I hate to admit it, a little grumpy. She doesn't much like being laid up, does she?"

Janet snorted. "Been giving you a hard time, has she?" the relief she felt made her almost light-headed.

"No, she's been great," Jennifer immediately defended her. "But she's not quite her usual cheerful self. She's hardly been awake, though. Having you here will cheer her up I'm sure."

"There's nowhere else I want to be," Janet tried to keep her voice steady.

"You'd better get back there then, she'll wake up in the next couple of hours," Jennifer told her. "I'll send a nurse in with coffee, you need anything else?"

"No, I've got everything I need," Janet said, with feeling. "Thanks Jennifer. I appreciate it."

"Only the best for the colonel," Jennifer winked. "She's very popular here, you must know that."

Janet smiled, and left to return to Sam's room.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

When Sam next awoke, Janet was by her side.

"You've got to stop doing this, you know?" Janet told her, as she kissed her tenderly on the forehead.

"I know," Sam replied. "It was just bad luck. The mission wasn't dangerous. We just fell in a hole."

"I know all about it, Jennifer's filled me in. No more holes, no more falling, you hear me?"

Sam nodded. "It's great to see you," she told her. "I've missed you so much."

"Well I'm staying here the next three weeks, honey, so you don't need to miss me any more, not for a while at least. Apparently," Janet grinned, "Jennifer's going to need lots of help until her hands heal, or at least that's what she's told them. So you're stuck with me for a while."

"What about Cass and Anna?" Sam asked. "We've got to call them. I don't suppose you're gonna let me go to Tokyo."

"No way in hell," Janet's tone was firm. She softened at the look on Sam's face. "I spoke to Cassie from Midway," Janet took Sam's hand and stroked her fingers reassuringly. "She's just glad you're okay. They both send all their love, and say you've got to get better fast. They're planning to move on to Australia in a few weeks, once Anna's time at the school is over. Maybe we'll go see them there?"

"Maybe," Sam's eyes were drooping.

"Think you can sleep some now, baby?" Janet's voice was tender.

"Can you stay a while?" Sam tried not to sound too pathetic, but in truth everything hurt and she felt suddenly tearful. The trauma of the last few days was beginning to catch up with her, and she wanted Janet by her side, wanted to hear her voice, smell her shampoo, feel her touch.

"I'm not going anywhere, Sam," Janet spoke softly, and smoothed the bangs away from her forehead. "Try and relax, baby, you'll be asleep before you know it."

Sam was already asleep.


	13. Chapter 13 SAD NEWS

Janet had made light of her conversation with Cassie when telling Sam. In truth, Cassie was very upset by Sam's accident, and it took all of Janet's powers of persuasion to stop her getting on a 'plane and heading for Colorado Springs right away.

"There's no point anyway, Cass," Janet reminded her gently when she called her from Midway, "Sam's not going to be able to travel for a while, and there's no way they'd let you come out to Atlantis. And it's only a broken leg, hon, she'll be fine. I've just spoken to her on the webcam, and she's looking great. She sends her love to you. And we'll reschedule the vacation, we'll catch up with you somewhere on your travels."

Cassie grumbled, but eventually accepted the wisdom of Janet's words. "Just make sure you tell her I love her, huh?" she said.

Janet smiled to herself. "I will do, Cass, I promise. Anyway, how are you? And Annie? Is everything okay with you?"

Cassie couldn't keep the joy out of her voice. "We're both great, Mom. Annie's wonderful, her job's going real well. She's a great teacher, Mom, I can just tell. Hearing the way she talks about the kids in the evening, I know she really cares about them. And living with her is... well, it's just about perfect. I don't think I've ever been so happy. I miss you and Sam of course, but I'll see you soon anyway. Everything's just great."

****

Sam spent two nights and nearly three days in the infirmary, during which time Janet rarely left her side. Every time she woke up, Janet was there, either reading or busying herself on a laptop. "You should sleep, baby," she said to her after two days. "You're exhausted."

Janet looked up at her and smiled. "I'm sleeping plenty Sam," she lied. "I just don't want to leave you while you're in here. I know you hate it in the infirmary. Anyway," she added, "I want to be here if you have bad dreams, you know how you are with morphine."

Sam took her hand. "I know that first night was bad, but I was really out of it," she vaguely remembered the first night after her leg was set, when she kept waking up, panicked and confused, the only constant being Janet's warm tender presence. Janet had soothed her back to sleep each time she awoke, whispering comforting words, holding her. "I'm okay now, Jan. Will you please sleep in your room tonight?"

Janet looked a bit ashamed. "I don't think I can, baby," she admitted, looking down at her hands which were shaking slightly, "I want to be here. Just one more night. I'll get a pillow and a blanket. Please, Sam, don't make me go."

Sam looked at her, her expression serious. "I'm worried about you Jan," she said in a quiet voice. "I don't want you to make yourself sick."

"I won't Sam, I promise," Janet said. "And if it were the other way round, you'd want to do the same, don't tell me you wouldn't."

Sam smiled. "True," she admitted. "You'll sleep in a proper bed tomorrow, hon, promise me?"

Janet brightened. "I will," she said, "and you'll be with me! Jennifer said she's gonna spring you tomorrow, if everything looks okay. She said that she can let you out earlier than usual as you've got your own private physician!"

Sam smiled broadly. "Oh thank God," she breathed. "I promised myself I wouldn't start nagging to be let out, but I can tell you honey, I've had enough of this place. Though," she took Janet's hand, "the company has been real good. Thank you sweetie," she looked deep in Janet's eyes, "for coming out. It's only a broken leg, you didn't need to come. But I'm so happy you did."

"There's nowhere else I'd want to be, Sam," Janet's words were heartfelt.

****

"She's going to be okay, right?" Anna asked Cassie. "There's no permanent damage or anything, is there?"

"Mom says she'll be fine," Cassie was reading her latest email from Janet. "Sam's getting out of the infirmary tomorrow, and Mom'll look after her in their quarters. Mom's staying there for three weeks, apparently, so she couldn't be in better hands."

"And what about you Cassandra?" Anna wanted to know. "It must be difficult for you, being so far away."

"I'm okay, Annie," Cassie replied, "I hate it when she gets hurt; and she does get hurt quite a lot. This posting was supposed to be pretty safe, she's desk-bound most of the time. But that's just like Sam, Mom says she had climbed way up, trying to find a way out, trying to rescue the others. Sam's amazingly brave, and she always puts herself last. It's real difficult for Mom, I know," she was surprised to realize she was crying, "I know I'd hate it if you were always getting into danger."

Anna passed Cassie a tissue, and placed a gentle hand on her back. "It's okay, Cass," she said quietly, "at least she's going to be alright. And that's one thing you don't have to worry about. Short of tripping over an extra-large dictionary, or getting hit by a football in the playground, there's not a lot of danger in my job!"

Cassie looked up at her with liquid eyes. "Swear to me you'll never get hurt, or sick."

"Oh Cassie," Anna pulled her into a fierce embrace, "you know I can't say that, just as you can't either. We none of us know what's around the corner. But I do promise you that I'll never take any unnecessary risks, and I'll try not to do anything stupid. I wouldn't want to risk not getting back home to you, sweetheart. I'll never willingly do anything to risk our happiness, I love you too much."

Cassie nodded, looking a little less miserable. "We'd better get packing for Australia, huh?" she wanted to lighten the subject. "Only four days until we leave."

"Packing can wait another few hours, Cass, I've got a better idea," Anna winked, taking her hand and leading her toward the bedroom.

****

"God it's good to be out of that infirmary," Sam said gratefully in the middle of the next afternoon, as Janet helped to ease her into her bed in her quarters.

"You comfortable?" Janet asked solicitously. Sam nodded. "I'm gonna take a quick shower, and then I'll join you. An early night'll be good for both of us."

Sam smiled. "Are you okay, hon?" she asked softly; she could see the tension in the set of Janet's shoulders.

"I'm okay now, baby," Janet replied, "now I've got you with me. I'll be back momentarily Sam" and she hurried off into the bathroom. Her emotions threatened to overwhelm her, and she didn't want to weep in front of Sam, who had already been through enough.

Janet stayed in the shower for almost half an hour, long enough that Sam was starting to worry. She was just about to call out to check she was alright, when she heard the water being shut off. Five minutes later, Janet emerged in her pajamas, rubbing her hair with a towel. She threw a wide smile at Sam, but Sam was not fooled. Janet's red-rimmed eyes saddened her, but she guessed Janet didn't want to talk about it.

So Sam just wordlessly lifted the covers, and beckoned Janet to join her. As her smaller lover slid in beside her, she put her arms around her and pulled her to her chest, holding her tight. "It's okay, hon," her voice was quiet and soothing. "We're okay."

Janet snuffled in Sam's embrace, tears threatening to fall again. "I know," she said, her voice thick.

"You don't have to bottle it up, baby," Sam said to her softly, "sometimes it's better just to let go. You've had a bad few days. You don't have to be brave for me." At these words, Janet's guard finally slipped, and she started to weep again. Sam just held her tight, and let her cry it out. Finally, she calmed. "Feel any better, Jan?" Sam asked her tenderly.

"Yeah," Janet admitted. "Sorry about that," she continued, "I just can't help thinking about what might have been, what if you hadn't got out before everything collapsed?"

"Don't ever apologize for loving me," Sam said firmly. "I hate that I keep putting you through this. It's me that should be sorry. I love you Jan. More than I ever thought possible."

"And I adore you, Sam," Janet replied.

Within ten minutes, both women were sound asleep, and they remained so until the next morning.

****

"Just three more days in Tokyo," Anna smiled as she brought Cassie her coffee. "Can you believe it? Four months gone just like that."

"It's been a great four months," Cassie told her, reaching out for the mug. "D'you realize we've been living together for nearly six months now?"

Anna nodded. "And we haven't had a single argument either, d'you think that's normal?"

Cassie grinned. "What's normal?" she asked. "Who wants to be normal anyway. We'll disagree about something, sooner or later, but that won't matter. We don't have to have the same opinions on things. And just so long as you keep bringing me coffee in the mornings, I can't ever see anything going seriously wrong between us!" Cassie was in a very lighthearted mood. Both she and Anna had finished their work, so all they had to do was finish their packing and clean the apartment, and then they were going to head to Australia, together. Every time she looked at Anna she fell more in love, and she knew the feeling was mutual. Nothing was going to get in the way of that.

****

"Just what do you think you are doing?" Janet's tone was dangerous. She had just returned to their quarters, and was furious to see Sam sitting on the couch, her laptop on the table in front of her.

Sam put her hands in the air in a gesture of surrender. "It's okay, hon," she reassured her lover. "I'm just checking the last mission reports. I'm just coming to the end of them, and it's only taken me 20 minutes. I have to know what's going on baby, just in case somebody's made a rash decision on something."

"And have they?" Janet demanded.

"No," Sam admitted, shamefacedly. "But I needed to make sure."

Janet laughed, a sound that Sam was very relieved to hear. "You just can't help yourself, can you sweetie?" she asked.

Sam smiled back. "No. Sorry," she said. "I'm finished now," and she shut off the laptop and gestured to the seat next to her. "Come tell me what you've been up to with Jennifer."

Janet sat next to her, and kissed her gently on the lips. "Just routine stuff," she said, "she's very on top of things there. Sent me back to you. She wanted me to make sure you weren't working."

Sam giggled. "No more work today," she promised. "Well, I'll need to check again this evening. Half an hour tops, I swear."

"I'll hold you to that, Sam," Janet said. She peered at her anxiously. "You still tired, honey?"

"A bit," Sam admitted. "All I seem to do at the moment is sleep. I wish I had a bit more energy."

"It'll come, honey," Janet soothed, "your body's been through a huge trauma. Sleep's the best thing for you, you'll heal faster. Lunch'll be here soon, d'you think maybe you could sleep for a couple of hours after that? I'll let you have your laptop back this evening for half an hour if you do!" she winked.

"That's a deal," Sam smiled lovingly at her.

So after lunch, Janet helped Sam back to bed, where she fell to sleep almost immediately. Janet sat and watched her for half an hour, after which she returned to their small living room. She wanted to email Cassie and Anna to wish them luck on the next leg of their journey. In two days' time, they were due to head out to Perth in Australia, for the first part of their Antipodean trip. She was just half way through composing the email, when she heard a soft tap on the door. She didn't call out, as she didn't want to wake Sam, so she went to the door, and was pleasantly surprised to see Teyla there.

Janet liked the small alien, who reminded her in some ways of Cassie, probably due to the fact that she didn't come from Earth, and had now made her home away from her own planet. She was also kind and gentle, and had a strong understanding of other people.

"Hey," she said quietly, "Sam's asleep," she gestured to the bedroom. "I don't want to wake her."

Teyla pulled her gently into the corridor. "Are you free to go the control room?" her expression was serious. "General O'Neill's on the radio, he wants to talk to you or Sam."

"Okay," Janet said bemused, shutting the door quietly behind her.

"I'll stay here," Teyla offered. "In case Sam wakes up and wonders where you are."

Sam and Janet's relationship was now more widely known at Atlantis, they had told Teyla, Shepherd and Ronon.

Janet threw her a grateful glance, and set off for the control room.

****

O'Neill's face was somber on the screen in front of Janet. "Hey Janet," his tone was more serious than usual, and he had used her name. Janet's blood ran cold, this could only be bad news.

"Cassie?" she whispered, dread in her heart.

"Cassie's fine," O'Neill immediately reassured her.

Janet breathed a sigh of relief. "Something's wrong though, isn't it?" she asked him bluntly.

"Yes," he replied honestly, "I've got bad news for you. Sit down Janet, would you?"

Janet lowered herself into a nearby chair. "Please Jack, just tell me," she pleaded.

"It's General Hammond," O'Neill replied, his eyes pained. "We lost him last night. Massive heart attack. He was due for exploratory surgery next Tuesday. He just didn't make it that far. I'm so sorry, Janet."

Janet was terribly saddened to hear the news. For years, George Hammond had been the heart of the SGC, and even in the time since he had left, she realized that they all still saw him as the man to look up to. He had had such integrity and honesty, and despite his role as the head of the world's most secret facility, he had retained such humanity, and humor. Sam would be devastated at his loss. So would Cassie, she realized. 'Uncle George' had acted as unofficial grandfather to their daughter, and had been welcomed into his family. She had acted as an older sister to his granddaughters, and even now regularly sent them postcards.

"I'm gonna have to get hold of Cassie," she said, trying not to weep.

"Want me to do that Doc?" O'Neill asked.

Janet shook her head. "No," she said, "it's okay. I'll 'phone her this evening when they get the 'phone link set up again. I should tell her myself. Maybe you could call her tomorrow, though, once it's sunk in, just to check on her?"

"I'll do that," he promised. "How's Carter doing?"

"She's fine," Janet said, sadly realizing that she would have to give her this terrible news when she awoke. "She's sleeping right now, but she's doing well."

"Hammond's daughter Sadie wants to know if she'll do a eulogy at the memorial service next week," O'Neill said. "D'you think she'd be able to do that?"

"I'll ask her," Janet said. "But I'm sure she'll do it. You know Sam, if they want her there, she'll be there. She loved him," her voice hitched, "we all did. He was a good man."

O'Neill nodded, and Janet could see that he was struggling to hold it together. "He was," he said gruffly. "The best."

****

Janet held Sam as she wept, rocking her gently, making soothing noises. "He was such a good man," Sam eventually managed to say through her tears. "He's too young to leave us."

"I know, baby, I know," Janet didn't know what to say. "He was the best."

****

That evening, Cassie's cellphone rang, and Anna could see from the changing expression on her face that the news was bad. As Cassie listened, her face darkened, and a single, fat tear escaped and dripped onto the table in front of her. Anna approached, and put a gentle hand on her arm. Cassie was nodding, and listening. Eventually she said, "are you okay Mom? And Sam?" She reached out for Anna's hand, and held it tight as she listened to her mother. "I'm coming back, Mom. I'll leave tomorrow." Anna heard Janet's voice at the end of the 'phone. "Screw Australia," Cassie said sharply then, "I want to be there. I owe that to Kayla and Tessa. And Sadie. And I need to see you and Sam. We can go to Australia afterward. It'll still be there," Anna could tell she was trying to lighten the atmosphere, and dreaded to think what bad news Cassie had just had. "I love you Mom. Send my love to Sam too, huh? I will, Mom, I promise. And Mom? It'll be okay."

As Cassie recounted the tale to her lover, Anna's heart broke for her. She already knew what George Hammond had meant to Cassie, and she knew that his loss was a tough one for her. "We'll both go," she told her, "we'll go to the travel agents tomorrow, change our tickets. I want to be there for you Cass. And I'm not going to Australia without you. Anyway, I want to meet Janet and Sam, I've spoken to them enough times."

Cassie flung her arms gratefully round Anna. "Thanks, Annie," she sniffed. "I'm so glad you said that. It'll be okay with you by my side."

"I'll always be by your side, Cassandra," Anna told her. "Whenever you need me, I'll be there."


	14. Chapter 14 PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW

Cassie and Anna changed their tickets early the next morning, and were delighted to find room on a flight to San Francisco late that evening. By 6pm, they had checked in at the airport, and Cassie was able to hook up to the 'net to send an email to her mother.

"_Hey Mom_," the email said. "_We're heading back tonight, so I guess we'll likely get back before you do. I don't know exactly when you're getting away, and of course you have a longer 'journey' than we do. But don't worry, I still have a key, and we'll try not to mess up the house before you get back!_

_I hope you're both okay Mom. I can't quite take it in that Uncle George is gone. He was one of those people who I thought would be here forever, you know? I hope Sam's not having too much trouble writing the eulogy. I know she takes that sort of thing very seriously. I think she's amazing to have agreed to do it, I don't know how she can do it._

_It's a horrible reason to be coming home, but I can't wait to see you and Sam. And I can't wait to introduce you to Annie, you're gonna love her Mom, she's just so wonderful._

_Okay, I'd better go, we're due through the gate soon._

_I love you both so much._

_Cassie_"

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Cassie was right, Sam was not finding it easy to write the eulogy. She just didn't think that words were enough to describe what George Hammond had meant to the SGC in general, and to her in particular. She discussed it at length with Janet, and slowly started sketching out what she wanted to say.

At the same time, and without getting Janet too pissed with her, she had a lot of work to do at Atlantis before heading back to Earth which they had decided they would do the next day.

By the time they reached Midway the next day, both women were glad of the enforced rest. Sam was exhausted and emotional, and Janet was just trying to hold it together for both of them, knowing that Sam would need all her reserves of strength over the next few days. She admired Sam so much for agreeing to do the eulogy at General Hammond's memorial service, but she also knew that it would be very difficult for her lover. Sam liked to give the impression of always being together, and always presented a professional and confident front. But Janet knew her better than that, and knew that she would find it hard. It was always important to Sam to do the very best job she could, and this was even more the case with something as emotional as a funeral.

"You okay, baby?" Janet asked Sam as she helped her to a seat at the sparsely furnished Midway Station.

"Yeah," Sam smiled up at her lover. "Thanks, hon, you're great, you know that?"

Janet smiled back. "I want you to get as much sleep as you can here, Sam, you're still healing, and the next week or so's gonna be hard on you."

"Hard on you too, Jan," Sam pointed out. "You loved him too."

"I did," Janet said sadly. "He was a real special person. Cassie's devastated, he's the closest thing she's had to a grandparent since you brought her back from Hanka."

"He loved her too, didn't he Jan?" Sam said. "Said she was SG-1's greatest achievement, and I don't think he was kidding."

"He always treated her like part of his family," Janet agreed. "She's been like an older sister to Tessa and Kayla. They'll all be missing him too, of course. I'm glad she's coming back for the service. I mean, I want to see her too, of course I do. But she'll be a great help to his family, I'm sure."

"We're gonna meet Anna at last," Sam mused. "I had thought that it might be a while before we did, especially as we had to put our vacation on hold just because I was dumb enough to fall in a hole. That's going to be a bit weird, isn't it Jan? Meeting the woman who means everything to our daughter. Cassie feels about her the way I feel about you. She sounds great, though, doesn't she?" Sam was half trying to convince herself.

"She sounds wonderful," Janet said reassuringly, "and she's got a real good sense of humor. She'll need that with Cassie around. She's a good person too, from what Cass says, and that means everything, doesn't it?"

"It sure does, hon," Sam took her hand and held it tight. "When you find the right person, and it turns out that deep down she's a good human being, it feels so good. Of course it helps," she smirked, "if she just happens to be beautiful. And sexy. Icing on the cake, you know what I mean?" she winked at Janet.

"Oh yeah, Sam, I know exactly what you mean," Janet drew her into a deep kiss. "Anyway, baby, I hate to be a killjoy, but you really need to get some sleep. So do I, come to that. And I have to tell you that you're on your own tonight, those single cots aren't big enough for two at the best of times, and definitely not with a cast on your leg."

Sam looked disappointed, but not surprised. "Okay," she agreed, yawning. "But we get to fool around some in the morning, is that a deal?"

Janet smiled. "We'll just have to see what tomorrow brings, hon," she smiled.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Cassie and Anna reached the family home early on the Thursday morning. Both of them were exhausted. The flight from Japan was long and tiring, and included a frantic change at San Francisco to catch a final flight to Colorado Springs. They had both had trouble sleeping on the flight. Cassie managed to snatch a few hours, but Anna stayed bolt upright, and awake, throughout the nearly 18 hour journey. Cassie realized that she was a nervous flier, and wondered why she hadn't noticed on the flight to Japan from London. Then she remembered that they had spent most of that flight wrapped in each other's arms, so that must have distracted her.

Cassie showed Anna round the house. Anna was delighted to see Cassie's 'family home', and lingered long over each photograph. Sam was a keen photographer, so photographs were liberally scattered along all the walls. Most of them were of Janet and Cassie, but there was also the occasional one of Sam. "You have beautiful parents, Cass," Anna told her in a quiet voice.

"I do, don't I?" Cassie agreed. "I don't think I could have asked to be adopted by better people. They'll be back soon, in a few hours I hope. I can't wait for you to meet them."

"I can't wait either, Cassandra," Anna agreed, stifling a yawn.

"You need to get some sleep, Annie," Cassie was pushing her toward the stairs.

"You too, Cass," Anna reminded her.

"We'll both sleep," Cassie agreed, as she led her towards her bedroom.

"You know, Cass," Anna laughed ruefully. "I never imagined that when I first saw your bedroom that sleep would be top of my list of priorities."

Cassie grinned. "We've got all the time in the world for anything else you may have in mind," she said, teasingly, "once you've had some sleep. You're exhausted, Annie," she kissed her gently. "And there's still the jet lag to look forward to. We'll get some sleep before Mom and Sam get back. They should be back this evening, I guess."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

At 7pm that night, Cassie stirred as she heard the door open downstairs. She then heard Toby the dog bounding upstairs, so she levered herself out of bed and put on a robe, keen to get to the door before Toby started scratching on it and woke the still-sleeping Anna. She got to the landing just as Toby arrived there, and he leapt excitedly at his adored mistress. She made a big fuss of him, and then led him downstairs.

As she got to the bottom of the stairs, she saw her mom coming in the front door again, carrying all the bags. Janet dropped them on the floor, and opened her arms to her daughter. "Welcome home, baby," she said, and Cassie flung herself into her mother's arms, holding her tight, and rocking gently from side to side.

"I've missed you, Mom," Cassie's voice hitched. "I can't believe I'm here with you now. Where's Sam?" she looked around.

"I'm here, Cass," Sam was standing at the door to the living room, leaning heavily on her crutches.

"Sam!" Cassie shouted, and ran over to her, stopping just short as she approached her. "Can I hug you?"

"I'll be real pissed if you don't, Cass," Sam laughed. Cassie was careful as she put her arms round her other mother. "I've missed you so much, Short Stuff," Sam teased her daughter.

"Missed you too, Sam," Cassie told her. "More than you can imagine."

"You've been okay, though, Cass?" Sam pulled back and looked anxiously in her face. She was relieved to see that her daughter was fine, if clearly still tired, and obviously upset about George Hammond, as they all were.

"I've been great, Sam," Cassie told her with a shy smile. "And the reason why I've been so great is asleep upstairs."

"Cass?" Janet nodded to the stairs. "I think your 'reason' may just have woken up!"

Anna, clad in her robe, and still very sleepy, was making her way down the stairs.

"Hey Anna," Janet said gently to her. "We meet at last."

"Janet!" Anna said, warmly as she reached the hallway. "It's so good to meet you at last."

"Well don't just stand there, you're part of the family now," Janet teased, as she enveloped her in a huge hug.

The next twenty minutes were taken up in introductions, hugging, laughter, shrieking and tea drinking.

"Well that was a bit of a baptism of fire," Sam said laughingly to Anna once they had all calmed down a bit. Cassie and Janet had cleared the table of all the mess from the tea, and were in the kitchen, still nattering away to each other. "D'you think you're gonna cope as part of this family?"

"I can't think of anything nicer, Sam," Anna replied, her eyes glowing. "You and Janet are just how I expected. I'm really sorry for the reason we're meeting now, but I'm so enjoying getting to know you both."

Sam looked her straight in the eye. "You've been wonderful for Cass," she told her seriously. "She's never looked so happy. Thank you for looking after her so beautifully."

"We're looking after each other," Anna told her, "she's a spectacular human being."

"She is, isn't she?" Sam agreed, her eyes misting over. "She's made us so happy over the years."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"George Hammond was a remarkable man," Sam began, leaning heavily on the lectern in the church four days later, her crutches at her side. She had been offered the chance to give her address from a chair, but insisted that she would stand. "All of you here know him from different parts of his life. His family," she looked straight at Sadie, her husband Jeff, and Tessa and Kayla, "were everything to him. He lived for his family. But he was also loved and respected in his work.

I first met 'General Hammond' nearly 12 years ago, when he became my commanding officer. Most of you here know that his work in the military was classified. What you may not know, however, is how he never hid behind that classification. For George Hammond, it was more, not less, important that every decision he made would stand up to scrutiny at the highest level. As a commanding officer, he had both integrity and humanity. Anyone who ever worked under him knows that. He never became jaded, or complacent. He put his heart and soul into his work, and it was a sad day when he left Cheyenne Mountain. His influence remains to this day, however. General O'Neill told me recently that when he took over from George, whenever he had a difficult decision to make, he always asked himself 'what would Hammond do', and somehow the right decision would come to him.

Enough about work. All of you who have ever served with, or under, George Hammond, will never forget him and his influence will go on.

But George Hammond was more, much more, than a general in the Air Force. He was a loving husband, who was devastated when his wife Jean was taken from him nearly sixteen years ago. He was an active and involved father to Sadie, who is already finding that there is a huge hole in her life that cannot be filled. And his granddaughters Tessa and Kayla have lost their greatest ally. I have been speaking to them all over the past few days, to try and understand a little about what he meant to them, and how he affected all their lives. Sadie talks of a father who, despite his very heavy professional commitments, never failed her once, was always there to support her, and loved her unconditionally.

Tessa and Kayla tell a similar story, of a grandfather on whom they could always rely. They also had some stories to tell of his impish humor. If you ever wondered, Sadie, where the girls got the idea to put salt in the sugar shaker, or to duct tape you to your garden chair that day, then look no further than your father. There are other incidents that would not be appropriate for this gathering, but ask me later and I'll tell you all about them!

I've spent the last few days, worrying and wondering how I could possibly find the words to do justice to George Hammond's memory. Eventually I realized that it is just not possible. There aren't enough words to describe his humanity, his integrity, his overriding love for his family. For me personally, he was much more than a commanding officer. He was a surrogate grandfather to our daughter Cassandra. He was a wise man who counseled me on more than one occasion when I just didn't know what to do - not just in the military but also in my personal life. He was a man whom I am proud to have called my friend. We will all miss you George Hammond. Rest in peace."

Sam was shaking by the time she finished speaking. Janet saw her reach out for her crutches, and approached the lectern to help her back to her seat in the pews. Sam's face was white with the strain, but she still smiled gratefully at Janet as she supported her down the few steps and along the aisle. Sam settled back in the pew, and squeezed Janet's fingers.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

The wake was a surprisingly joyous affair, attended by over 200 people, including many dating back to when George Hammond joined the Air Force. After a couple of hours, though, Janet could see that Sam was flagging, so she persuaded her to go home with her. Cassie and Anna stayed longer; Cassie wanted Anna to get to know Tessa and Kayla, and when Janet looked over as she and Sam left, she could see the four girls laughing at some unknown joke.

"You okay, hon?" Janet asked Sam in the car.

"I'm fine, Jan," Sam replied. "What about you?"

"I'm good too, Sam," Janet told her. "I was real proud of you up there during the service. What you said was beautiful, baby. I know it was hard for you, but you did him proud."

"You think so?" Sam's voice was uncertain. "I just couldn't think what to say. I still can't believe he's gone, baby, I feel kind of numb, is that how you feel?"

Janet reached out for her hand. "Yeah," she said, wistfully. "It'll sink in eventually, I guess. It was a good turnout, wasn't it?"

Sam smiled. "No less than he deserved," she said, in a quiet voice.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Two days later, Sam was working on her laptop in the living room, Janet sitting on the chair opposite her, reading the latest medical journal. Cassie and Anna were in the kitchen, and every now and then the companionable silence was punctuated by shrieks of laughter coming from the kitchen.

"Jan," Sam asked, a grin on her face. "D'you really think it's such a good idea for the girls to cook for us all tonight?"

Janet grinned back. "They have to learn to cook eventually, Sam," she said, trying to keep the laughter out of her voice. "So I've given them a tutorial. They're only making chilli, they can't go too far wrong with that."

Sam looked dubious.

They were both surprised when they heard the doorbell ringing. Sam reached for her crutches, but Janet put her hand out, "I'll go baby," and she headed toward the door. Sam heard a voice that she thought was Sadie's, a guess that proved to be true when Janet led her into the room.

"Don't get up, Sam," Sadie said, and bent down to kiss her affectionately on her cheek. "I came because I wanted to thank you for the eulogy. It was beautiful. Dad would have been so proud."

Sam looked embarrassed.

"I also wanted to give you this," Sadie continued. "Dad wanted you to have it. It's only an old thing, but it meant a lot to him." She handed over George Hammond's old service watch.

Wordlessly, Sam took it from Sadie's hand, too emotional to speak. "There's a letter too," Sadie passed that over too.

Sam took the letter, and opened it up. Janet could see the emotions flooding through her lover. When Sam had finished it, she turned over the watch and read the inscription on the back of it. She handed the letter over to Janet, at the same time reaching up to hug Sadie tightly. "Thank you so much," she whispered. "He was a good man."

Janet turned to read the letter.

"_My dear Sam_," it began.

"_I wanted you to have this watch, as it has always signified to me just how important the SGC has been, and will continue to be. In 1969, I met a young Air Force team who were just 'passing through', and it was that encounter that shaped the whole of my professional life. In the two days I spent with the team, a whole world - universe â€" of possibilities were opened up to me. I knew then that the future was going to be a blast, that I would do, see and hear things that I had never imagined._

_The day after you all left me on that road, I took my service watch to be engraved," Janet reached out for the watch, which Sam passed over. On the back was written simply 'GH, 1969, SG-1'._

_"I wanted to remind myself of the day that everything changed, of the day that I first met you, Jack, Daniel and Teal'c. I want you to have that watch now, and for you to remember the scale of what is still out there for you._

_You've made an old man proud, Sam. You were so young, so full of fire, ambition and passion when you first came to the SGC. And you have lost none of that enthusiasm. But I have seen you develop, and mature and grow in confidence. I can safely say that you are the one thing that makes me proud of what I have achieved in all my years with the Air Force._

_My love to you, and Janet, and my 'spare granddaughter' Cassandra._

_George_"

Janet's eyes filled with tears, and as she looked over at Sam and Sadie, she saw that they were similarly affected.

Cassie came bounding out of the kitchen, her apron spattered with tomato sauce. She caught sight of Sadie, and cried out with pleasure, running over to give her a huge hug. Sadie laughed. "Don't tell me you're cooking Cassandra!" she said in disbelief.

"I am!" Cassie announced gleefully. "Well, *we* are. Me and Annie. And," she couldn't keep the pride out of her voice, "it's going real well. Hey," she had a sudden thought, "why don't you all come over for dinner? We've made far too much. It'd be fun!"

Sadie's face lit up. She wanted to get away from the intenseness of the last few days, and she reckoned a few hours away from it all would do them the world of good. "Why not?" she said. "I'll call Jeff, get him to bring the girls over. And if it all goes wrong, at least there's a doctor in the house!"

Cassie shrieked her disgust at this remark, but hugged her again tightly. "I'm so sorry about your Dad," she said quietly. "We're all gonna miss him so much."

Sadie squeezed her fingers gratefully.


	15. Chapter 15 COMMITMENT

Cassie and Anna spent a full week with Sam and Janet, after which time the older women returned to Atlantis, while Cassie and Anna decided to resume their travels.

Cassie was greatly saddened, and somewhat subdued, by the death of George Hammond, but she knew that he would hate for her to change her plans because of him. And she had just over six months before starting at medical school, so she and Anna decided to make the most of it.

Anna, in consultation with Cassie, decided that she would look for a teaching job that would start around the same time as Cassie went back to school. So that gave them a good four months before they had to be back in Colorado Springs, in time to sort themselves out, find accommodation, and find work for Anna.

So they decided that they would go round as much of Australia as they could, and then spend three weeks exploring some of India, ending up in Agra at the renowned Taj Mahal.

They started their Antipodean adventure in Perth, and slowly made their way across the massive continent until they arrived, tired and dirty, but happy, in Sydney. "We're not staying in a hostel here," Anna said firmly as soon as they arrived. "We've stayed in enough dives over the last 12 weeks. I've booked our accommodation, and we're going to enjoy a bit of luxury for once."

Cassie grinned. She had loved 'roughing it' with Anna, but somehow some luxury sounded SO good to her. What she wanted most of all was a hot bath, filled to the rim with bubbles. And with Anna. So she was thrilled when Anna guided her to a four-star hotel just by the world-famous Sydney Harbour Bridge.

Once they had been shown to their room, Anna shut the door behind her, and took Cassie in her arms. "We made it," she said, "and this is our reward," she gestured across the big room, with the huge window that overlooked the bridge. "Quite a view, isn't it?"

Cassie didn't turn round, but kept looking at Anna. "My view's perfect right here," she said, with feeling. "I'm hoping it's a view I'll always have."

"Oh you will, sweetheart," Anna laughed. "The view may get a bit grey and a bit wrinkled in time, though. I hope you don't mind that?"

"Oh that won't worry me," Cassie laughed too, "by that time I'll need glasses. So I just won't put them on, how does that sound?"

"Sounds good to me," Anna agreed, grinning.

"I'm serious, though, Annie," Cassie took both her hands, and looked deep into her eyes. "I can't think of anything better than getting old with you. Going grey. Wrinkly. Saggy. You know, most of all, in 60 years' time, I want to sit side by side next to you on a park bench, leaning on my walker, and reminding myself that I've spent most of my life with the most wonderful woman in the world. In all the worlds."

Anna's eyes filled with tears. "Yeah," she said wistfully. "I could live with that. Let's go out to dinner tonight, Cass. And we'll get a bottle of ridiculously expensive wine, and we'll drink a toast to our walkers!"

Cassie pulled her into a deep kiss. "Dinner sounds good," she said in a low tone, "so how about we check out this big bed first?"

Anna laughed again, and pulled Cassie onto the king size divan.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Sam and Janet continued their long-distance romance for the next few months. Janet's close working relationship with Jennifer Keller made it easier for her to find reasons for visiting Atlantis, and Sam also made sporadic visits to Earth, so they were able to see each other every few weeks. They still hated saying goodbye at the end of a visit, and it never got any easier. But at least they knew that it was temporary, and would eventually be over, and they could be together full time again.

Despite seeing Janet regularly, and their weekly phone calls - sometimes more often than that - Sam still liked to email her lover every evening. It was a habit she had gotten into early on in her posting, and to her it was cathartic. She liked to tell Janet all that had happened during her day, and Janet found it equally comforting to read what Sam had been up to, and to tell her what had been going on in her life. Occasionally, Sam was able to phone Cassie on her cellphone, but more often it was Janet who talked to Cassie, so she reported everything back to Sam.

As the months passed, Sam became both more homesick and at the same time more comfortable in her role as the leader of Atlantis.

"_My darling Janet_," she wrote one night. "_It's been almost a year now, and we've made it this far. General O'Neill promised me it wouldn't be more than 18 months, and we've achieved a lot here in the last year, so it's looking like that's true._

_So only about another six months Jan, and we'll be together again all the time. I wonder if we'll have problems adjusting? D'you think you'll cope with me messing up your kitchen again with my spanners and screwdrivers? And will I get pissed when you come into my lab and instruct me to put my doohickies to one side for the night, as it's time to go home? I don't think we'll have any problems. If I'm honest, whenever I've worked a long day, I've kind of missed you standing there, in the doorway, your arms folded and 'that' look on your face which means it's time to stop. I love that you care that much. And I'll try to keep my spanners in the garage. I'm almost looking forward to you getting pissed at me for messing up your kitchen; at least it'll mean we're together._

_Sometimes I think I'm coping real well without you, and that it's okay. I don't mean that to sound like that. It's never okay to be without you. But sometimes I get engrossed in something for a while and it takes my mind off you. And then I suddenly think about you and being apart is just as raw as it ever was. I was writing some reports this afternoon, and it was all going fine, I was really getting into it. And then, without warning, I thought of you, and it quite took my breath away. I imagined your beautiful face in front of me, and, truthfully, I thought I might cry._

_Anyway, I'm coming home in two weeks, as you know. I've got my appraisal by the IOA, and then all of SG-1 have got to attend Ba'al's extraction ceremony three days after that. I can't wait to be with you for a couple of days, no distractions, nothing. I just want to hold you in my arms, to kiss you. To wake up next to you._

_I hope you're okay? Tell me about your day, I want to hear every last detail._

_I love you, Jan._

_Sam_"

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"_Sam_," Janet started her reply email. _"Nearly a year, huh? Seems much longer, all that time without you. We've been okay, though, haven't we? See, I told you, nothing'll ever break us apart. We're meant to be together, that's just the way it is._

_Sounds to me like you've had a bad day, baby. You don't have to be brave with me, you know. I get days like that too, when being away from you is just too much. When that happens, I have to remind myself that I'll be seeing you soon._

_We probably will fight sometimes when you come back full time, but just about silly things. It's a good thing, though, Sam. It'll mean we're totally at ease with each other, and not trying too hard to be polite. We've never had a serious fight, though, have we, even after all these years? Do you think that's normal? Truthfully, I don't care if it is or not. I love you, and I think you're pretty damned perfect, so why would I want to argue with that?_

_My day at the infirmary's been fine, honey. A bit boring in truth, but nothing drastic to deal with. I had a great morning, though, I spoke to Cassie and Anna. They've reached Sydney, and they're spending three days in a proper hotel, rather than a hostel. They sounded very excited, I think they're enjoying being pampered for a change. Anna said she's gonna persuade Cassie to climb the Harbour Bridge tomorrow, I wonder if she'll succeed? Cass has never been that keen on heights. I'll be interested to hear from them if she managed to persuade her. They're heading for India on Tuesday, I've told Cass to make sure everything they eat is properly cooked, and to avoid any water that they haven't seen being boiled. I hope they're okay; I know they're looking forward to it, so I mustn't let my concerns ruin it for them in any way._

_Two weeks until you're here, I can't wait. The IOA had damned well better give you a good appraisal after all you've done there, or I'll want to know why!_

_Try not to let it get to you, hon, will you? Just remember, I'm with you all the time, even if I'm not there in person. I love you more with every passing hour._

_J._"

Sam's eyes filled with tears. She thought she had been fairly upbeat in her last email to Janet, but her lover had seen through the veneer and knew she was having a bad day of it. Sometimes she wondered how Janet always knew exactly how she was feeling, even when they were in different galaxies. But then she remembered that there was very little Janet didn't know, or couldn't do. "I love you sweetheart," she whispered, as she read the email.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Cassie and Anna used their three weeks in India to make a whistle-stop tour of the huge country. They were staggered by the kindness of so many of the people, and the beauty of the country's natural features. They both found it so hard to deal with the poverty of so many people, and were heartbroken to see so many children in need. They both resolved to set up regular charitable donations to the country once they got home, and to do all they could to raise awareness of the plight of so many citizens.

Some of the sights in India just took their breaths away, such as the Golden Temple in Amritsar. But they deliberately kept the last of the sights on their list, the Taj Mahal, for their last few days. Cassie in particular wanted to see this place that had served as the tomb for its emperor's favorite wife. She had seen many pictures of it on television, and on the internet, but she had heard that being there in person still exceeded all expectations. "D'you mind?" she asked Anna, sheepishly. "I want to see it last, and leave India with it fresh in my mind. Is that dumb?"

Anna laughed. "No, Cass, it's not dumb. I think it's a great idea. We should definitely do that."

So as they walked up to the huge, gleaming, marble building early one evening, with the sun just starting to set over its huge dome, Anna was unsurprised that Cassie was stunned into silence. She, too, was very moved by the building, and all that it had meant in terms of the love the emperor had had for his wife. She felt Cassie squeeze her hand gently, and heard her lover whisper, "can we just sit for a bit Annie?"

Anna spied a nearby bench, and led Cassie to it. She noticed the tears in her eyes. "Are you okay, Cass?" she asked, worried. "Are you feeling alright?"

Cassie looked her straight in the eye. "I'm fine, Annie," she said in a quiet voice. "It's just so beautiful. I knew it would be amazing, but nothing like this."

Anna put her arms round her, and kissed her gently on the lips. She knew that the time was now right, and all of a sudden her mouth went dry. She reached into her backpack, and drew out a small package which she slid into her pants pocket. "Cassandra," she took her hands in her own, and her voice shook. "I love you more than I have ever loved anybody. More than I love life. And I know it's not legal in most of the US, and I know we can't do it in Colorado. But we can go to England for the ceremony," she realized she was gabbling. She had rehearsed it so many times in her head, but now that the moment had come, she lost all composure. "What I'm saying, Cass, is that you would make me the happiest woman in the world if you would consent to be my wife. I want to marry you Cassie. I love you."

Cassie was dumbstruck, this was the last thing she had expected. But as she turned Anna's words over in her mind, she realized that there was nothing Anna could have said that would have made her any happier. She couldn't imagine a better future than one with the beautiful and loving Anna. "Yes," she whispered. "I would love to marry you, anywhere in the world that I can. I want to be with you for ever, Anna. I love you, more than I ever imagined possible." She pulled Anna to her, and kissed her passionately. "It's not right," she said when they finally pulled apart, "nobody should be allowed to be this happy."

Anna smiled. "Thank you, sweetheart," her voice shook with emotion. "I promise to be a good wife to you, and to look after you always. To love you always." She reached into her pocket, and drew out a ring box, which she opened. She took out the antique ring. "May I?" she asked.

Cassie nodded dumbly, not trusting herself to speak. Anna slid the ring on her ring finger. Cassie looked at it. "It's beautiful, Annie, I've never seen anything like it."

"It was my great-great grandmother's," she told her. "My grandmother gave it to me the day I told her I was gay, said it was only right I should have it. She told me that her grandmother, my great-great grandmother, once fell in love with another woman. She was a widow with three sons, her husband had died young she said. And she met this woman, Hester her name was, in the park one day, and they fell in love."

"What happened?" Cassie asked, sensing from Anna's tone of voice that there was not to be a happy ending.

"It didn't work out for them," Anna said, "she was put under pressure by her family. And her dead husband's sisters threatened to expose her and to take her sons away from her. So she gave up Hester. It was that or lose her children. My grandmother told me that the day she went to tell her, Hester had already guessed that that would be the outcome. So she had had this ring made," at that Anna took Cassie's hand and ran her fingers over the ring, "so that my great-great grandmother would have something to remember her by."

"Oh that's just too sad," Cassie said, her heart breaking for the poor woman who had lived in such an intolerant age.

"Yeah," Anna said. "My grandmother said her grandmother never took off that ring, she wore it every day for the rest of her life. And she left it to my grandmother in her will. So when I told Grandma I was gay, she gave it to me. She told me to keep it, and to give it to the woman I would spend the rest of my life with. So I want you to have it, Cassandra."

Cassie saw tears streaming down Anna's face. "Thank you, Annie," she said in a soft voice. "I'll treasure it always. I'll treasure you always." And she put her arms round Anna, rocking her gently. "We will be together for ever, Annie, I'm sure of it." Anna nodded.

After about ten minutes, Anna pulled away. She took Cassie's hands again. "You are the only woman I have ever wanted to give the ring to, Cass, I want you to know that. I never even considered giving it to Tina, or to anybody else. I've never been so sure of anybody as I am with you now. It was meant to be, Cassandra."

Cassie looked up at her and smile. "Yes, Annie, it was."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"They said _what?_" Janet was white with fury. "A 'different skill-set'? What sort of _bullshit_ is that? I've never heard such a crock of shit in my life." She was trembling, and felt sick with anger at the treatment of her lover.

Sam had just returned from Atlantis, ostensibly to undergo her annual evaluation by the IOA, and also to attend Ba'al's extraction, which was scheduled to take place in three days' time. But she had been greeted in the 'gate room by the oleaginous Woolsey, and informed that she was being 'relieved of command'. She was hurt and confused, and didn't know what to think.

Fortunately, shortly after Woolsey's tactless delivery of the news, General O'Neill had come striding into the 'gate room, and whisked her off to Landry's office, where he and General Landry explained to her that, far from being unhappy with her command, the IOA - and everybody else - had been extremely impressed by it. Both the generals were incensed at the IOA's decision to replace her, but they both reassured her that it was in no way a demotion, that she was in fact a victim of her own success.

Nevertheless, it was a very deflated and saddened Sam that reached their home that night, and when she tried to explain to Janet what had happened, Janet, predictably, exploded. Sam was too tired, and emotional, to go into it in any great depth. "I know, baby," she said in a quiet voice. "Can we please not talk about it tonight? I'm exhausted, I've been talking to O'Neill and Landry for the best part of three hours. I just want to take a hot bath, with a large glass of whisky, and go to bed. With you. Is that okay Jan?"

Janet could see the lines of tension in her face, and knew that she was close to tears. "Of course it's okay, hon," she said, gently. "I'm sorry I yelled. I'm just mad as hell at those IOA idiots. Want some company in the tub?"

Sam nodded, and kissed her softly. "Thanks," she whispered. "We'll talk about it tomorrow."

"Whatever you want, Sam," Janet's voice was soothing.

Later that night, as Sam lay huddled in Janet's warm, comforting arms, Janet suddenly remembered something. "Want some good news, baby?" Janet asked.

"Yeah," Sam's voice was sleepy.

"I spoke with Cassie and Anna this morning. They called and said we should be the first to know. They're going to England on vacation next year, and while they're there, they're gonna get married."

Sam sat up, a wide smile on her face. "Oh that's wonderful. Anna's perfect for Cassie. I'm so happy. Maybe it's not been such a bad day after all, then," she said.

"No," Janet agreed, "I suppose not."


	16. Chapter 16 MEANT TO BE

"Think you can sleep, hon?" Janet asked Sam, solicitously. She knew that her lover had been very shaken up by her abrupt dismissal from the Atlantis mission.

"Yeah," Sam's voice was sleepy. "Think so. Just as long as you're here."

"I'm here, baby," Janet told her. "I'll always be here."

Sam kissed her gently. "I know, Jan. And I'll always be grateful to you for that."

"C'mere," Janet said, and wrapped her arms round Sam.

Sam snuggled into Janet, and soon she had drifted off. However, her sleep was restless, and she kept jerking awake, and Janet always woke with her. After a few hours, when Sam awoke for the fifth time, gasping and distressed, Janet slid from underneath her and climbed off the bed.

"Jan?" Sam's voice cracked.

"I'll be back in a moment, hon," Janet's voice was soothing. She went over to the closet, took her bag out and returned to the bed, sitting on the edge. She ran her hand down Sam's arm. "Sam?" she whispered.

"Yeah," Sam replied, in a small voice.

"You're not sleeping, baby," Janet told her gently. "And you need your sleep, especially after a shock like that. Will you let me give you something?"

Sam shook her head mutinously. "No, m'okay," she mumbled, turning away.

Janet was insistent. "No, honey, you're not. You're upset, and that's okay. You're allowed to be upset, you had a hell of a day. But you're also exhausted, and if you don't get some sleep you're gonna make yourself sick. Nothing strong, sweetie, just a small dose of Valium, what d'you say? I know you're worried about nightmares, but I'll be with you, all the time, I promise. You've got to get some sleep baby," Janet's voice hitched with emotion.

Sam noticed the distress in Janet's voice. She was angry with herself, she hated causing Janet pain. She turned back to face her lover. "I'm sorry, honey," she said, "I'm being selfish. Whatever you think is best. And I'll sleep in the spare room, you need to sleep too, and I'm making it hard for you."

"Samantha Carter, you are staying right there, in our bed, where you belong," Janet's tone was mock-strict. "And when you've had this," she prepared a syringe with a small dose of sedative, "we'll both sleep. Everything'll look better in the morning, we'll both be able to get a better perspective on things. Can I give this to you Sam?" Janet pleaded.

Sam sat up and pushed her pajama top to one side, exposing her upper arm. "Thank you, Jan," she whispered when it was done. "You're too good to me."

"Nothing's too good for you Sam," Janet told her, and pulled her into her lap, stroking her hair. "You're amazing, and you need to remember that."

****

Cassie sat on the edge of their bed in the hotel, and looked at Anna lying on the bed next to her. "C'mon Annie," she cajoled with a grin on her face. "We've only got one day left here, we've got to make the most of it."

"I wasn't planning to waste the day," Anna replied cheekily. "I mean, you can't tell me that a whole day in bed together is a waste!"

Cassie swatted her on the backside. "Yes I can, especially in a country like this. Anyway, we need something to look forward to this evening. Our last night in India. Our last night in the country where you proposed to me," she turned seriously to Anna. "Our last night in the country where you made me the happiest woman in the world. Now get your ass out of that bed! We leave the hotel in half an hour, and you haven't had breakfast yet."

"Okay, okay," Anna grumbled as she sat up. She took Cassie's hand, and stroked the ring on her finger. "Did you 'phone your Mom?"

"Yeah," Cassie said, unable to keep a huge grin off her face. "She's almost as excited as I am. She can't wait to tell Sam when she gets back later."

"I must call Mum and Dad later. And Izzie, she'll be so thrilled. Izzie told me you're great, Cassie. And Izzie doesn't know how to lie. She's going to be really excited. I was wondering," she peered anxiously at Cassie, "how would you feel about having Izzie as a bridesmaid?"

Cassie clapped her hands in excitement. "What a great idea, Annie," she said. "D'you think she'll want to do it?"

Anna laughed. "Are you kidding?" she asked, "she's been nagging me to marry for years, she's desperate to wear a bridesmaid's dress. And," she laughed again, "a tiara!"

"A tiara!" Cassie tried to keep a straight face.

"Yep," Anna grinned. "She's always wanted to wear one."

"Then she shall," Cassie declared. "And she'll look beautiful."

"Yeah," Anna mused. "And she won't be the only one."

"Get your butt in that shower, now!" Cassie commanded. "I wanna see the town. And I want to see the Taj Mahal in the daylight. It's a very special place, even more so now."

Anna headed for the shower.

****

It was 0900hrs when Janet struggled back to consciousness. She looked up blearily to see Sam lying on her side next to her, just looking at her. "Hey," she said, her voice still full of sleep. "Did you sleep?"

"Yeah," Sam smiled, "thanks to you."

Janet smiled back. "So how do you feel about things this morning?" she was beginning to wake up properly.

"Good," Sam replied. "Because I've just realized something. Something big."

Janet looked at her quizzically. "Spill," she demanded.

"I was so caught up in myself yesterday," Sam admitted, "I was so worried about how this would affect my career. And I was hurt, too," she hated facing up to that fact. "So I completely forgot that there's a huge upside to this. I'm home, baby," Sam grinned. "No more separations. Well, hardly any. I may have to go off on missions. Right now, I don't know what the plans are for me at the SGC. But it'll only be a few days here and there. I'm back. And we made it! And we're stronger than ever, aren't we Jan?"

Janet smiled. "Yeah, baby, we are. I never thought we could be. But we are. And you're all mine again.

"I was always yours, Janet, always," Sam kissed her gently. "And I always will be."

****

"So what did they say?" Cassie asked Anna after lunch. She had tactfully withdrawn when Anna 'phoned her family, wanting her lover to feel free to say anything she wanted.

"They're over the moon, Cass, what did you expect?" Anna beamed, and swept Cassie up in her arms. "And Mum wanted to know why you weren't there, she wanted to talk to you, to welcome you into the Ross family. And they know I'll be moving to Colorado, and they don't mind, truly they don't. Dad's retiring next year anyway, and Mum wants to spend more time writing her book, so they'll be visiting all the time."

"With Izzie, I hope," Cassie said. "Anyway, what book? You never told me about a book."

"Didn't I?" Anna had forgotten. "She's writing a book, a kind of historical novel. Written from the point of view of a maid in Elizabeth I's court. It's good, I've read the first few chapters. So when Dad retires, she's going to, too, and focus more on the book. It's much easier for them both, now Izzie's settled. She loves working, and she's good at it too. Izzie's never been anything but a blessing, but it's also been hard for Mum and Dad, making sure she gets what she needs. Everything's working out so well."

Cassie looked closely at Anna. "It's going to be real difficult for you, isn't it Annie? Leaving them behind. We don't have to settle in the Springs, you know, we could stay in England. I don't care where we live, just so long as I'm with you."

Anna shook her head. "No, I want to live there. I've never lived in the States. They can visit. And we can visit them too. It'll be great."

****

"Hey," Janet remembered. "Have you checked your email yet today baby?"

Sam shook her head. "No, I've only been awake for half an hour. Why?"

"Cassie promised to email a picture of her ring. I can't wait to see it!" Janet was excited.

"I'll get the laptop," Sam said, "stay there." And within minutes she was back, starting up the computer. "Here, Jan, look," she turned the laptop to face Janet. "Oh my God, it's amazing."

Janet looked, and she was equally dazzled. "They're really in love, aren't they Sam?"

Sam nodded, tears in her eyes. "Our little girl's all grown up," she said wistfully.

"She's still our little girl, though, baby," Janet said gently. Sam nodded.

At that moment, the laptop beeped again.

"Oh my God," Sam said, "it's an email. From Teyla," she started to read its contents. "Oh Jan," Sam's voice broke with emotion when she saw what had been written.

"_Dear Sam_," the email read.

"_This email's coming from me, but we have all gotten together to write it. It's pointless, we know, and it won't change anything. But we couldn't just let you disappear without letting you know how we feel. So John, Ronon, Rodney, Jennifer and I are all sitting round this computer right now._

_We all want to have our say, but there's one thing we all agree on. You are an excellent leader. Much as we all loved Elizabeth, we have to admit that your leadership has surpassed even hers._

_For me, the most important thing is that you have somehow managed to combine strong leadership with compassion. There have been times when you have had to make difficult decisions, but these have never been made without serious thought as to what is morally right. That's not an easy thing to achieve in a role such as yours, and I salute you for never losing sight of what is important, and for your wisdom. And kindness._

_Ronon wants you to know that one of the many things he admires about you is your respect for all those around you. You always start out by respecting the views of others, even if you don't necessarily understand them to start with. And then you strive to gain a full understanding._

_Jennifer says I must thank you for your kindness, and your strength in leadership. And for your humor, which you weren't often able to show, but which we all enjoyed when you did._

_John says that your military skills are beyond compare, and that you are a superb tactician, a true soldier. He also asks what he could possibly have done in a past life that is so bad that he's now got to work under a 'dweeb' like Woolsey! I've not heard the term 'dweeb' before, but I'm pretty confident I can guess at its meaning! He's genuinely concerned that Woolsey's not going to make the right tactical decisions, and he wants you to know that he'll be challenging him every step of the way. He says that it wasn't that he gave you an easy ride when you were in charge, simply that your decisions were always good and right. We are all concerned about the future, and we will none of us be able to keep quiet if we see that the leadership is poor._

_And Rodney! Rodney's laughing at himself now, because the big thing he wants you to know is that he is grateful for your allowing him freedom in his scientific decisions. He says he knows this wasn't always easy for you, and that there were doubtless times when you would have liked to just take over from him. But you didn't, you respected him as a subordinate and as a scientist. Rodney says that it makes him spit to admit it, but he knows you are a better scientist than he will ever be. He also says that if you quote him on that, he'll have no choice but to kill you. He's kidding, I think. I hope._

_So that's about it. We'll miss your leadership, your friendship and your commitment to this project. Please do come back and visit, as often as you can. You'll always be welcomed with open arms. It won't be the same here without you._

_Much love to you from us all,_

_Teyla, John, Ronon, Rodney and Jennifer._"

Sam was moved beyond words by the email. "What is it, honey?" Janet asked, concerned. Wordlessly, Sam passed the laptop over to her.

"Wow," Janet said when she had read it. "You can't ask for a better vote of confidence in your abilities, can you sweetie? Sam? Are you okay?" Sam was looking down in her lap, trying to hold herself together.

"I'm fine, Jan," Sam said in a quiet voice. "I'm just so touched that they would take the time and trouble to do that. They're such a good team."

"And they had such a good leader, Sam," Janet told her. "Allow yourself to accept that. You're gonna be missed."

Sam smiled. "I'll miss them too," she said. "All of them. But I'm so pleased to be home. With you. Where I belong."

Janet took her hand and kissed it. "And I'm so thrilled to have you here, baby."

****

"So we fly tomorrow morning, Annie, are you okay with that?" Cassie looked closely at her lover; she knew Anna hated flying, and wasn't looking forward to it.

"It'll be lovely when it's over!" Anna bravely tried to joke about it. "It'll be fine, Cass. I know that flying's the safest mode of travel. I just sometimes find it hard to remember that during take-off and landing! But I'm okay, Cassie, I promise. And I'm looking forward to seeing Sam and Janet again. I'm so pleased Sam'll be there, I know she's away a lot."

"She won't be any more," Cassie told her; she had had an email from Janet that morning. "She's back full time now. Sounds like a bit of a screw-up to me, and Mom says Sam was very upset at the way it happened. But her posting's over, so at least she's back with Mom. It's been tough for them, so I'm so pleased it's over. Sam'll still go away, I'm sure, but only for a few days at a time."

"That's great, Cassie," Anna smiled. "I don't know how they managed it. I don't think I could cope with that sort of separation from you."

"You'll never have to Annie," Cassie felt the same way, "though we'd manage it if we had to, I'm sure. I'd wait for you for ever."

****

"You know, I haven't seen your Mom for nearly seven months," Sam mused as she and Janet sat eating their lunch in the kitchen. "I miss her. I love your Mom, she's very special. Is she okay?"

"She's great, Sam, she always asks after you," Janet told her. "I was there just two weeks ago. Which reminds me," she grinned, she had completely forgotten, "I got those pictures from her."

"What pictures?" Sam asked her.

"The ones of me as a kid," Janet reminded her. "I know it's probably a year ago I promised to get them from Mom, but I kept forgetting. She didn't have that many, but she found the ones she had, and Bill at the home copied them from me. She didn't want to lose the originals, says they mean a lot to her."

"I'm sure they do," Sam said. "Well where are they? I wanna see what you were like back then."

So Janet went into the living room, and rifled through a drawer, returning moments later with a thick envelope. "Don't laugh," she said, already laughing herself.

Sam opened the envelope with great excitement, and started to flick through the photographs. "Aww!" she exclaimed. "You were SO cute! And look, there you are with your orange blanket. And is that the family dog?"

"Yeah," Janet was peering over her shoulder. "That was Colin."

"Colin?" Sam snorted with laughter. "Now what sort of a name is that for a dog?"

Janet sighed. "An original one, according to my Dad. He said we should find something original to call him, and he bet Mom he could come up with a name that nobody else would think of. And he was right. Colin was nearly 17 when he died, and we never came across another dog of the same name in all that time."

"There was probably a good reason for that!" Sam chuckled. "These pictures are great. You were a heartbreaker even then. Of course, like a fine wine, you just get better as the years pass."

"Even with the occasional wrinkle and flabby bit?" Janet asked mischievously.

"You don't have a single wrinkle!" Sam protested. "Just one or two laughter lines, and all they do is show just how often you smile, which can only be a good thing. And I defy you to show me any single part of your body that you could possibly describe as flabby. Believe me, hon, I know your body better than you do. And it's pretty damned perfect. Just like you." She pulled Janet toward her, and was rewarded with a passionate kiss.

"Anyway," Sam continued. "I really want to see your Mom, it's been too long. What about we go up next weekend?"

"I think that's be great," Janet smiled. "Let me just 'phone her, you never know, she might have something planned."

Janet got straight through to her mother. "Hey Mom!" she said brightly. "How are you? Good, that's great. Listen Mom, Sam and I want to come up next weekend. Yes, she's back, that posting's over. It's a long story, we'll tell you all about it on the weekend. We may even bring Cassie and Anna with us, it all depends on their schedule. Tomorrow morning, Mom, they're landing at 0720hrs, we're gonna get them from the airport. Yes, it's fantastic, isn't it? You'll love the ring, Mom. You want to talk to Sam? Okay, I'll pass you over. And we'll see you next Saturday, about lunch time? I'll let you know if the girls are coming. Okay, Mom, I'm handing you over, don't nag!"

Sam grinned as Janet passed her the phone.

"Samantha, darling!" Kathryn Fraiser exclaimed with real warmth. "J tells me you're back from your posting. I'm so happy. She's missed you badly, Samantha." Kathryn Fraiser always insisted on calling Sam by her full name, but conversely always called Janet 'J'. Sam found this amusing.

"Yeah, Kathryn, I'm so happy to be here. I've missed her too, it's been difficult. But that's over, and I'm so happy. How are you? Are you keeping well? It's been too long since I saw you."

"I'm very well, Samantha," she told her, "life here is good. I'm very happy. But listen, Samantha. I've got something I want to say to you. And you may think I'm just a crazy old lady. Maybe I am. But I need to say it."

"Go ahead," Sam was worried. "You say whatever you need to."

"It's just this, Samantha. I want you to know that whatever happens in the future, however difficult things get, however bad things seem, Janet will always be there. And you two will always belong together. You two are meant to be. Just promise me you'll never forget that?"

Sam was moved by her mother-in-law's words. "I'll remember that, I swear," her voice cracked with emotion.

"Whatever happens, okay Samantha? And if you ever need me, I'm here."

"Yes, whatever happens. I'll never forget that," Sam struggled to hold on to her emotions. "Thank you Kathryn. I love you. You're a great mom-in-law." She passed her back to Janet, who concluded the conversation, and then came over to Sam.

"Are you okay, Sam? Was it one of Mom's crazy predictions?"

Sam shook her head. "No, it wasn't crazy. Not crazy in the least. I love you Jan. And I love your Mom too, I can't wait to see her."


	17. Chapter 17 ACROSS THE TIMELINES

"Why are they taking so long?" Janet complained, making Sam laugh. Even Janet knew how whiny she sounded, and she laughed too. "I know," she said, slightly abashed, "I'm just impatient. It's too long since we saw them."

Sam put her arm round Janet's shoulders. "It always takes a long time after landing," she reminded her lover, "and they've got to clear customs too. They'll be here any minute, I'm sure." She kissed Janet gently.

Janet turned into the kiss, and was just starting to respond to it, when she pulled away sharply. "Cass!" she shouted, seeing their daughter and Anna emerging from behind the barrier.

Sam laughed. "So much for romance," she remarked drily.

Janet grinned. "I'll make it up to you later sweetie," she promised.

"I'll hold you to that!" Sam said, as they pushed their way through the crowd to get to Cassie and Anna.

Sam was the first to reach Cassie, who flung herself into her arms and hugged her fiercely. Janet reached Anna a few seconds later. She noticed that the girl looked a bit white and shaken, so just kissed her gently on the cheek, and took her hand. "You okay Anna?" she asked.

Anna smiled wanly. "I'm fine," she told her, "I just don't like flying. Landings are the worst. It's so good to see you though," she said, and drew Janet into a warm hug. Once Cassie finally freed Sam, she then grabbed her mother, while Sam hugged Anna.

"Let's get you two home," Sam said after several minutes of hugging, and laughing, and talking. "The jet lag's got to be a killer from India. And you," she nodded to Anna, "look like you could sleep for a week. Did you get much sleep on the plane?"

Anna shook her head ruefully. "Can't sleep on planes either," she tried to smile, "I'm not really the best traveler in that respect!"

"We'll be home in half an hour," Janet rubbed her arm reassuringly, "then you two can sleep for as long as you want."

As they made their way to the parking lot, Sam was touched to see Janet take Anna's hand and lead her to the car. This little family of theirs might be unconventional, she mused, but it was real nonetheless. She knew Cassie was a little concerned about Anna, but she could still see that their daughter had never been happier.

****

"She's asleep," Cassie said as she made her way downstairs again. "She'll be fine when she wakes up. She just hates flying, gets nervous as hell. She says she doesn't really know why, she thinks it's 'cos she doesn't really know what's going on."

"I can always take her up in a small plane, show her what it's all about, if you think that would help?" Sam offered.

Cassie beamed. "Thanks, Sam," she said, "I'll talk to Annie about it. It might just make all the difference."

"What about you, honey?" Janet put her hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Aren't you sleepy? You must be exhausted."

"I'm okay, Mom," Cassie told her, "I slept on the 'plane. I didn't mean to, I meant to stay awake and help Annie. But you know me and traveling! Before I knew it, we'd been in the air eight hours, and I woke up to find I'd fallen asleep on Annie's lap. She's so amazing," Cassie tried to contain her emotions, "there she is, terrified of flying, but she's still holding me, trying not to wake me, making sure I'm okay. She's so special, she really is."

Janet hugged her. "So are you, Cass, so are you."

Sam nodded her agreement. "You two are made for each other," she said in a soft voice. "And we couldn't be happier for you. So come on!" she cajoled. "Let's have a close look at this ring!"

Cassie grinned, and held out her hand, and both her parents exclaimed over it with real pleasure.

She then got out her camera, and showed them endless shots of their trip. "I'll load them up to the computer later, so's you can see them properly," she said, stifling a huge yawn.

"I think it's time you joined Anna, for a while at least," Sam smiled, and pulled her to her feet, enveloping her in a warm hug. "Get some sleep, Cass. We've got all the time in the world to hear about your trip later."

Cassie smiled, and headed for the stairs. At the bottom, she turned to Sam and Janet. "I love you both, so much," she said, blowing them a kiss.

****

"So what time d'you have to go?" Janet asked Sam at breakfast the next morning.

"I'm due in at 1600hrs," Sam replied, "and we leave for the extraction at 1900hrs. Shouldn't take too long, I hope, no more'n a few hours."

"Hours?" Janet asked. "Just how long are these ceremonies?"

"It can depend, according to Daniel," Sam told her. "I've only been to one other, and that was relatively short, two hours only. But the longer the Goa'uld has been in the host, the longer the ceremony, as they have to list every crime. Ba'al's been in that host for over 2,000 years, so it's sure to take some time. Still," she smiled, "at least it's not dangerous. And I'll be back tonight at some point, so we can still take the girls out to lunch tomorrow. I was gonna suggest we go today, but judging by the look on Cassie's face earlier, they're still pretty jet-lagged."

Janet laughed. "Yeah," she agreed, "it's a brave woman who tries to come between Cassie and her sleep today, I reckon."

"That's not fair!" Cassie's voice rang out as she made her way blearily down the stairs. "I'm up. And raring to go." She grinned ruefully. She knew exactly how she looked to the others; hair mussed with sleep, eyes barely open, and her face still creased from lying face down in the pillow. "Well, I'm up anyway," she said, "Annie's coming down shortly too. We've got to readjust our time clocks, so we're gonna stay up all today, no naps. If we even try to go to bed before 9pm tonight, you have my permission to set Toby on us!"

"That'll be Janet's job, then," Sam smiled, "I've got an extraction ceremony later on."

Cassie's face fell. "That's a shame," she said, "I was hoping we could all spend the day together."

"We can spend a lot of today. And all of tomorrow," Sam promised, "I'll be back late tonight. Bored out of my mind probably! I'm taking us all out to lunch tomorrow, somewhere swanky. You decide where you want to go Cass. We've got an engagement to celebrate."

****

"Do you really have to go?" Janet already knew the answer to her question, as she said goodbye to Sam on their doorstep that afternoon. "I'll miss you."

Sam smiled. "I'll be back before you know it, sweetie," she kissed her gently on the lips. "Keep that bed warm, I'll be right there beside you before midnight, I hope."

"I'll hold you to that, Sam," Janet said. "Be careful out there, baby, swear to me?"

"Always," Sam said, "always."

****

"Never in the history of boredom has anyone been more bored than I am right now," O'Neill whined, shifting from foot to foot.

Privately, Sam agreed with him; the extraction seemed interminable. But she knew she should try and say the right thing. "Come on, sir, it's only beenâ€¦," she looked at her watch. Three hours, and no sign of an end to it. She stifled a yawn.

Daniel turned to reassure them that it was nearly over, so they steeled themselves for the next little while.

Finally, Ba'al exited the chamber, and was made ready for the extraction following a terse exchange with O'Neill.

Daniel looked round. "Did anybody see where Vala went?" he asked.

Sam shook her head. "Maybe extractions bring up bad memories," she said. She knew that the kooky Vala had more depth to her than she let most people see, and suspected that this ceremony was harder on her than she had admitted. Sam knew what it was like to be a host, and her experience had been much shorter, and much less traumatic, than Vala's had been. She still had nightmares about it occasionally, though, so she knew it must be so much tougher for Vala.

Just as she was musing on these thoughts, though, Teal'c suddenly disappeared from in front of her eyes, and she knew something serious was happening. More people started to disappear. O'Neill grabbed Ba'al by the throat, demanding an explanation. As he did so, though, and with no warning, Ba'al broke free and stabbed O'Neill in the heart with the extraction tool. Sam rushed to his side. "Get to the 'gate," he gasped.

"Not without you!" Sam retorted hotly.

"Go," O'Neill's last word broke Sam's heart, as she looked forlornly at his lifeless face.

Mitchell grabbed her by the collar, and hauled her toward the gate. As the three of them ran toward it, they saw buildings and people disappear; they managed to dial Earth just in time.

****

As she stepped through the 'gate though, Sam was confronted with a frozen room. Her mind was in a turmoil; she had just seen her former commanding officer, a man she had respected, admired - and even loved, platonically - for over ten years, die before her very eyes. And she had no idea where she now was. She didn't really care either, this was too much for her to take in.

"Carter!" Mitchell shouted.

Sam shook herself. She knew she had to pull herself together; she would have to grieve later, her expertise was needed now.

They discovered that they were in the hold of the Achilles, the vessel that had brought the Stargate to the US in the 1930s. They had to blow themselves out of the vessel's hold before they froze to death. Sam couldn't believe her eyes when she saw that Daniel had not been able to don the full Arctic clothing Mitchell had found; even worse, he had stepped in the icy water. Frostbite was a certainty for him. Even worse, Sam knew that he wouldn't be able to walk. "Look," she said desperately, trying not to notice that her whole world was collapsing, "we'll just have to help you walk." But she knew it was fruitless, and it was with a heavy heart that she accepted that the best chance for all of them was to do as Daniel said and to leave, in the hope of finding some help for all of them.

As Sam and Mitchell walked across the frozen arctic, they discussed what had happened, and realized that Ba'al had rewritten history by making sure that the Stargate never reached its destination. They trudged for hours through the arctic wasteland, growing ever more desperate and hopeless. Daniel was probably already dead, Sam realized. She was just about to give up completely when they spotted two figures in the distance.

As the figures approached, Sam couldn't believe what she saw. "My god. Oh! We thought you were dead," she gasped, as the taller of the two men lowered his face mask, revealing Jack O'Neill.

"Well, back at you, ma'am," O'Neill said, as she let him see her face. This was all too much. Sensory overload meant that Sam and Mitchell were hardly even surprised when a submarine rose through the ice in front of their eyes. Tiredly they climbed aboard. Sam was surprised and delighted, however, when they were led into a small cabin, containing Daniel. She was sad to learn he would probably lose his leg, but at least he was alive. They were all alive. Even O'Neill. She just needed to get back to her home, wherever that was, to find Janet and Cassie. And of course Anna. She couldn't wait to hold Janet in her arms. Only Janet's warm embrace could make sense of everything.

****

The situation just got worse and worse, however. Over the next six weeks, Sam - and Daniel and Mitchell - had to undergo endless interrogations by the 'new' timeline's military authorities. O'Neill refused to have anything to do with them, which Sam thought had a great deal to do with Daniel having told him that his son, Charlie, had died in their reality. Sam couldn't really blame him for shutting them down after that.

Even after finally persuading those in charge of the truth of their claims, which Sam suspected only happened because of her death in that reality, forcing them to accept that something untoward had happened, she despaired of getting them to understand the importance of repairing the timeline.

Nobody was really listening to her, or Daniel or Mitchell. Worse, when they finally managed to bring Landry in, they had to agree that they understood why he refused to allow them to go back and change history. From his perspective, there was no reason to change things; nothing dire had happened as a result of Ba'al's intervention, so there was no compelling reason for him to recommend they be allowed to try and change things.

Sam had also hated watching Daniel go through an amputation; she was very close to him, and seeing him suffer such a devastating loss was heartbreaking for her.

Even worse though, for Sam, was the fact that this reality didn't seem to have Janet in it â€" certainly not at the military base in which they were incarcerated. Her heart had leapt with anticipation when she was taken to be cleared at the infirmary, but there was no sign of her lover. She questioned the staff in the infirmary, but none of them knew anything about a Dr Janet Fraiser. Where was she? Did she even exist in this timeline? And if she did, was she gay? Had she been with her astronaut counterpart? And what of Cassie? If the Stargate had never been found, did she die on Hanka with the rest of her world? Sam found that idea too awful to contemplate.

Sam was incredibly frustrated by the fact that they wouldn't let her near a computer, so she couldn't find anything out that way. And she knew she had to be careful; she didn't know what the attitude toward gays in the military would be, but she guessed it would not serve her cause to be too open at this stage.

****

So they were to be split up. Sam was devastated that she would be forced to move away from Daniel, and she would even miss Cameron Mitchell, who despite some shortcomings was a good and decent man, who had done his best on SG-1. "Email," she whispered to Daniel as she gave him a goodbye hug. Daniel nodded. They had agreed on a range of email addresses that they would try if ever they were split up in this way, and Sam was confident that she could bypass the security measures they would be subject to, to ensure that at least she and Daniel would be able to talk. Without that, she knew she would go mad.

She didn't want to move away from Daniel and Mitchell, but she was relishing the chance of getting online at last. She knew she had the skills to hack almost any system, and she couldn't wait to start tracking down Janet, if she even existed in this timeline. Moving to Washington was not what she would have chosen, but it was as good a place as any, she guessed. And she had spent a lot of time there earlier in her career, so at least she knew her surroundings.

****

As soon as Sam moved in, the first thing she did was to get herself a computer with internet access. By the evening of her first day, she had discovered that there was indeed a Dr Janet Fraiser, who had worked at NASA at the same time her counterpart had done. She could find no evidence of a relationship between them, but knew that this could simply mean that Janet and the 'other Sam' had just been discreet. Upon further investigation, she found that Janet Fraiser had, without warning and giving no reason, resigned from NASA a week after the astronaut Samantha Carter had died. This was the strongest indication yet that they had been involved.

However, although she looked long and hard, there was nothing showing where Janet was now. She had given up her house near the NASA base (another clue: if she and Sam had not been together, surely Janet would have just had a small apartment?), but had left no forwarding address. Where could she be? And if Sam could even find her, would she have the courage to approach her? If Janet and the other Sam had been involved, then Janet would have gone through the trauma of bereavement. Would she even want to risk getting involved again?

Then Sam had a brainwave. Kathryn, Janet's mom! She could even be in the same retirement complex in Montana that 'her' Kathryn was back in her own timeline. If Janet was still alive, and she couldn't even contemplate any alternative to that, there was no way she would abandon her mom, she would still be visiting her regularly, of that Sam was sure.

Within an hour, and with the invaluable help of the internet, Sam established that Kathryn Fraiser was alive and well, and amazingly living in the same home. Even her apartment number in the complex was the same, and when she telephoned to enquire, she even recognized the voice of the girl in the office. Sam fortunately had the presence of mind to disguise her own voice; if she were discovered at this stage, there would be too many questions to answer. It was so weird, some things were so different, and others exactly the same.

****

That night, Sam lay in the tub in the bathroom of her new apartment, and formulated a plan of action. If she were to travel at all right now, that would arouse the suspicions of the authorities. She would give it a month, she decided, and then she would let them know that she was going to take a road trip. Montana was beautiful in the winter, and she would tell them that she wanted to get back to nature for a while. She would avoid Colorado Springs, so there would be no suspicion that she was trying to contact anyone there. And they had no idea of her relationship with Janet. Yes, she concluded. She could wait a month. But no longer. If she was ever going to see Janet again, a month was bearable. Just.


	18. Chapter 18 FIRST CONTACT

The next month was hard as hell for Sam. She was forced to live away from her home town, wasn't allowed to work in any field that held even the slightest interest for her, didn't know anybody and was prohibited from making contact with anybody she did know. She couldn't even use her own name. They had given her the name of 'Beth Porter', which was so close to her real name that it was almost laughable.

Most of all, she missed Janet, with such intensity that it was almost physically painful.

Somehow this separation was worse than ever - even during the early days at Atlantis, she had regular contact with her lover, and knew where she was, what she was doing. Now, she didn't know if she'd ever be able to contact Janet - nor did she know whether Janet would welcome any contact with her if she managed to speak to her. And would 'this' Janet be the same person? Sam couldn't get past the feeling that 'her' Janet was lost to her forever. But there was no 'other' Janet. It wasn't even as if this was an alternate reality, and all she needed to do was to return to 'her' reality. This was 'her' reality, with an altered timeline. She swore to herself that the next time she saw Ba'al, she would kill him. Though without access to a Stargate, the chances of even seeing him were remote at best.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Sam spent the month before she dared try and contact Janet as productively as she could. She set up a secure email/internet system, making sure that her connection bounced off so many satellites that there was no way the authorities would be able to track her online activities. She also kept a 'normal' connection, as she knew no discernible internet access would also send up the red flag to the authorities. She forced herself to do some searches using the normal connection that were right at the edges of what was acceptable, so that her online activities would be believable.

Once she had set up the secure connection, she sent the program she had written to the email addresses she had agreed with Daniel, so that he too could enjoy safe access, and also so they could finally communicate with each other. It was with a huge sense of relief that she sent him her first 'real' email after she was sure their communications were secure. She had always loved Daniel, and she was so reassured by being able to talk to him properly, about things that mattered to both of them.

"_Hey Daniel_," she wrote.

_"How are you? How's the leg? Are you adapting to things okay? You've been great about the whole thing, I admire you for your courage and indomitability. There's so much more to you than your limbs, but I know that it must still have been devastating for you._

_How are you coping with this new reality? I have to tell you, Daniel, that I'm finding it tough. I just don't know how much longer I can sit on my ass, waiting for the sky to fall. Am I wrong? D'you think perhaps we're mistaken, and that Ba'al is satisfied with us not being a threat to him any longer, and that he'll leave this world alone? I'm not sure I'll ever believe that._

_But it's been a month so far, and more than 70 years since he diverted the Stargate. Maybe he won't do anything? God I hope that's true._

_The worst thing for me, though, and I know this is me being selfish, is not knowing what's happened to Janet, or to Cassie. Do you think Cassie is dead? I don't think I could cope with that. And living every day without Janet is so hard. I don't even know if she was with the astronaut Samantha Carter, and if she was, how is she going to feel about 'another' one of us?_

_But I have to do something. Janet's mom is in the same retirement complex in Montana, so in a few weeks I'm going to head over to see her. It may be a dumb thing to do, but if I'm going to have to live in this timeline, I think I'll go crazy if I don't at least try. I don't want to think about what will happen if I can't get in touch with her, or if she doesn't want to see me if I do. I love her so much Daniel, I have to find her. With her by my side, I can just about do this, I think._

_So what about you? It's even weirder for you, because you know your counterpart is out there somewhere. Aren't you tempted to contact him, tell him he was right all along?_

_How is life in Boston for you? Have you got a nice apartment? And are you getting the right treatment for your leg? When are they going to start thinking about prosthetics? At least you were very fit when you lost the leg, they say that's a great help if you're going to get used to prosthetics._

_Write me, and tell me how you are. I want to see you, but I know we can't risk that just yet. But we will. If we're here long term, I want proper contact with you, you're family to me._

_You take care of yourself, you swear? And let me know if you need anything._

_Much love,_

_Sam_"

Sam felt better once she had written to Daniel, and she kept checking her email every 20 minutes after she sent it, to see if he had sent a response. She knew she was being silly, but she was so excited at the thought of contact with the man who was like a brother to her. Even more than that, she realized, she needed to be able to talk to somebody who was going through the same emotions that she was.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"_Dear Sam_," Daniel's email arrived just three hours after she wrote to him. "_I can't tell you how good it is to hear from you._

_I'm doing real well here, certainly in terms of the leg. It's funny how things work out, isn't it? If somebody had told me six months ago that I'd have my leg amputated, and that I'd be fine with it, I'd have said they were crazy. But I suppose I'm just so relieved to be alive; I really thought I would die in the Arctic. In truth, I thought we all would. I don't think any of us could quite believe it when Jack appeared. I was so happy when you got on that sub too, I don't think I've ever been so pleased to see somebody._

_I was real angry with Jack to start with; I always thought he'd be the kind of guy who would believe us in that situation, but when I think about it, he's always been cynical, hasn't he? That's probably part of what made him such a great leader. But I don't think it's that so much; I think it's because I told him Charlie is dead in our timeline. I reckon that he just doesn't want to risk that coming true, and truthfully, I can hardly blame him for shutting us down. He's still a good guy, he just wants to protect his son. And what father wouldn't want to do that?_

_My apartment's nice, they've looked after us in that respect. And the hospital's pleased with my progress, they say I'm a perfect candidate for a prosthetic leg, though they can't do anything yet until I'm properly healed. Another couple of months they say, and I'll be able to try one part-time._

_Sam, I think you are quite right to look for Janet. I know how much she loves you. If she was with the 'other' Sam, and has had to suffer the horror of bereavement, I'm convinced she'd still want you to get in contact now. She adores you, Sam. She told me once that you are the thing that really gives her life meaning, and that she knows you are meant to be together for ever. If you don't give her that chance to prove that to you now, then you aren't being fair to her. Go to her Sam. Yes, it'll be tough, for both of you, most of all for Janet. But I'll bet you she'll tell you that you're worth it. Take the risk Sam, you'll regret it if you don't._

_I love you Sam, and we *will* see each other soon, one way or another. Until then, you'll always be in my thoughts._

_D._"

Sam wiped her eyes as she got to the end of Daniel's email. She had forgotten just how astute he was, and how well he knew both her and Janet. "I'll do it, Daniel," she whispered, "I swear."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Finally, Sam's self-imposed month was up, so she contacted the military to inform them that she had decided to take a trip. She wrote a carefully worded email, explaining about needing to get away, to get out of herself, to enjoy what nature had to offer. Her heart was in her mouth when she checked her email account the next morning, and she was thrilled to see she had gotten permission. She didn't know what she would have done if they had refused her; she knew damned well that it wouldn't have stopped her, but this way it was so much easier.

In the last week before leaving, Sam could hardly sleep with the excitement, and anxiety, about possibly seeing Janet again. She tried everything she could think of, but still sleep wouldn't come. "I'll sleep afterward," she told herself.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Sam sat in her car outside Kathryn's retirement complex for the best part of two hours. Now that she was here, she just couldn't think of what she would say. She could hardly just waltz in, and say "Hi, remember me?" And Kathryn was an old lady, she didn't want to shake her up too much. She certainly didn't want to frighten her. Just as she had decided that her quest was wrong, and was just about to turn the key in the ignition of her hire car and head back to her hotel, she remembered Daniel's emailed words, "take the risk Sam."

She also remembered the words that the Kathryn from her reality had said to her. "Whatever happens in the future, however difficult things get, however bad things seem, Janet will always be there. And you two will always belong together. You two are meant to be. And if you ever need me, I'm here."

"God, I hope you meant that," Sam whispered under her breath as she climbed out of the car, locking it behind her. She realized that the residents would be having their lunch now, and she also remembered that the Kathryn of her timeline liked to sit in her small garden after lunch, for half an hour or so, just enjoying some solitude and tranquillity. So Sam decided that she would let herself into Kathryn's garden, and then show herself to her if she thought it was right. If Kathryn looked too frail, she decided, she wouldn't risk it. She could likely get Janet's details another way, she could hack into the home's computer system, Janet's home address would surely be there.

So Sam climbed over a back fence, and sat herself down on a rock behind a large tree in Kathryn's garden, and waited.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

It was nearly two hours by the time Kathryn returned to her small apartment, having stayed on longer than usual to enjoy coffee with some of her friends. Sam watched covertly as her much-loved mother-in-law made her way outside, and sat down on the bench with a heavy sigh. She looked tired, but well, and Sam's breath caught in her throat at the sign of her. She was like an older, even smaller, version of Janet, and the similarity tore at her heart. She was just about to get up off the rock and move forward, when she heard Kathryn's strong, even voice. "Samantha, my darling, you're surely not going to sit there all day?"

Sam's heart thudded in her chest. How did Kathryn know she was there? She had hidden herself carefully, and she knew she had made no noise. Dumbfounded, she stepped out from her hiding place, and saw the tears in Kathryn's eyes.

"I knew you couldn't have left us for ever," Kathryn's voice shook, "I told J you'd be back one day." And she smiled her beatific smile at Sam, and held out her arms to her. "Come here, let me hold you."

Sam stepped into her warm embrace, too moved at first to speak. At Kathryn's touch, she started to weep. "I'm so sorry," she couldn't think of what to say, "I'm sorry Kathryn."

Kathryn just held her as she cried, rubbing reassuring circles on her back. "It's all going to be okay now," she whispered again and again to Sam. "I told J it would be. We're all going to be together again."

Eventually, Sam's sobbing slowed and then stopped. Kathryn took her by the hand, and led her into the small apartment, pushing her gently on to the couch. She sat beside her, and took her hand. "So, Samantha, tell me. Did you survive the crash?"

Sam shook her head.

"I thought not," Kathryn said sadly, "I couldn't imagine you putting J through something like that; I knew there wasn't a good enough reason in the world for you to do that. So what is this? Is this one of those alternate realities you used to talk about?"

"Sort of," Sam sniffed. "An alternate timeline in fact. I'll explain it all to you, I swear. But tell me, how did you know I was there? Did you hear me? Did you see me climb over the fence?"

Kathryn smiled. "I've always told J, and I've always told you, there are some things I just know. And that was one of them. I don't understand it either," she brushed the tears from Sam's cheeks with her thumb, "but I knew you'd come back. At last. And not a moment too soon. J's been lost without you. She's tried, she really has, but she has only really been existing since the accident."

"How is she?" Sam was almost afraid to ask.

"Sad," Kathryn answered. "Sad, tired, too thin. You weren't the only person that died that day; J's life stopped too, even if her heart has kept beating."

"Oh God," Sam was devastated. She imagined how she would feel if Janet were ripped from her, and she just felt nauseous. "I'm so sorry."

Kathryn looked her straight in the eye. "It's not your fault, Samantha, you know that. J knows it too. I think she just doesn't want to live a full life without you. But maybe now," she brightened, "maybe now she doesn't have to. You want to see her, right? That's why you're here?"

"D'you think she'll want to see me?" Sam asked. "I don't want to bring up bad memories. And I'm not exactly the same person she was with. Our lives have been different. I never worked at NASA. I've been working for the last 11 years at a top secret base at Cheyenne Mountain in Colorado. Janet worked there too. She may not want me, she may just want to keep the memories of her Samantha."

Kathryn took both her hands, and looked directly at her. "My J will want you. She does want you. She needs you. That much I'm sure of. You two will always belong together. You two are meant to be. Just promise me you'll never forget that?"

Sam nodded, tearfully. "So what should I do now?" she was uncharacteristically indecisive.

"Well first," Kathryn smiled, "you should get some rest. You look like you haven't slept in a week. Go into my bedroom, and try and catch a couple of hours' sleep. I'll call J and ask her to drop in after work. She's working until 1600hrs today, she'll be here about 1630hrs. That gives you two and a half hours. And once she's here, you'll find the words. She'll be overwhelmed, but she'll be so happy to see you. You can explain everything to her. And once you're done," she smiled again, "you can both explain it to me."

She then pushed Sam gently toward the bedroom. Sam didn't think she would sleep, but almost as soon as her head hit the soft pillow, she was asleep, all the days and weeks of anxiety catching up on her.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Kathryn picked up the telephone. "J," she said when Janet answered. "Can you drop in after work? Yes, honey, it's important. No, it's nothing to worry about. I'm fine, J, I promise, I'm feeling great. There's just something important I need to tell you. No, I can't do it over the 'phone. Okay, J, I'll see you then. And don't worry, it's nothing bad. I can promise you that. It's good, real good."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Mom?" Janet stuck her head round her mother's door, "are you okay?"

At this point, Sam was still sleeping soundly on Kathryn's bed.

Kathryn smiled at her, and got up to greet her with a warm hug. "I'm fine, J, I swear to you. How are you? Did you have a good day at work?"

"Stop stalling," Janet said astutely. "Tell me."

"Okay," Kathryn replied, "come sit next to me," and she led her to the couch. She took a deep breath. "What I have to tell you may sound crazy, but I need you to hear me out. D'you hear, my little Jay-bird?"

Janet swallowed. Her mom only called her that in moments of high emotion. The last time she had called her that was at Sam's funeral, a day she would never forget.

"You're worrying me now, Mom," Janet said anxiously.

"Don't be worried, J," Kathryn told her. "Just listen." She took her hands. "Now do you remember all that stuff Samantha used to tell us about alternate realities, and alternate timelines, and how there could be infinite numbers of us in all these realities and timelines?"

Janet swallowed. "Yes, Mom," she said hoarsely. Of course she remembered. Sam had talked about these things, with such fire, and passion. She used to laugh at her, she remembered bitterly. And after Sam's death, her words had come back to her again and again. And Janet had wanted to know why, if there were so many Sams, why she couldn't have just one of them?

"Well, honey," Kathryn hesitated, "I don't know how to tell you this, but there's somebody here who wants to see you. Who needs to see you."

"Who Mom?" Janet was becoming impatient.

"Me," Sam's voice echoed from the door of the bedroom, from whence she emerged, tousle haired and crumpled from sleep. "Me."


	19. Chapter 19 REACTIONS

Janet looked up at the sound of the oh-so-familiar, much-missed voice. No, it couldn't be. Was this some sort of wish-fulfilment fantasy? She shook her head, and looked up again.

"So you didn't die?" she asked, feeling dumb, and scared. This couldn't possibly be real. Could it?

Sam took a step toward her, and was horrified to see Janet flinch. So she didn't move any further forward. "No, that's not it" she said, in a voice barely above a whisper. "The Sam you knew did die in that accident. I'm from an altered timeline. It's complicated."

Janet looked up at her dumbly. "So you're a different Sam?" she asked.

"Yes and no," Sam told her gently. "I'll explain it all to you, I swear. If you want me to stick around that is. D'you want me to go? I don't want to make this any harder on you."

"No!" Janet almost shouted. "Don't go. Please don't go. Mom," she turned to Kathryn. "Is this real? Am I crazy?"

"It's real, J," Kathryn spoke softly, "I swear to you it's real. Samantha is here. And you're as sane as you've ever been. It's hard to understand. But she's here now, and she loves you."

"You grew your hair," Janet said to Sam irrelevantly. "My Sam always had short hair."

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "It's been long about a year now. I'll cut it if you want. I'll do anything you want. Anything at all." She knew Janet was stalling for time, trying desperately to make sense of the insane situation.

Janet shook her head. "I like it," her voice was hardly audible. She cleared her throat, and looked Sam straight in the eye. "Is it really you?" she asked.

"It's me, Jan," Sam reassured her.

"How long are you gonna be here? Are you gonna disappear suddenly?" Sam could hear the fear in Janet's voice.

"I'm staying," Sam held her voice steady. "I'm not going anywhere. I won't disappear, I swear to you."

"You won't move to a different reality, or timeline, or whatever?" Janet wanted to know.

"No, sweetie," the endearment slipped out accidentally, Sam hadn't wanted Janet to think that she assumed they would resume their former intimacy, "I'm here and I'm staying. If the timeline changes now, it'll change for all of us."

"I don't think I understand that," Janet said.

"I can explain it all, Jan," Sam told her. "If you want to hear it."

"I want...," Janet hesitated, "I think...," she swallowed. "I want you. I want to feel you." She looked up, and Sam could see the fear in her eyes. "Can I touch you? I need to know you are real."

Sam moved toward her carefully, and Kathryn got up from the couch where she was sitting next to Janet. "Sit," Kathryn instructed Sam. So Sam sat, never taking her eyes off Janet. Gingerly, she put out her hand, and very softly covered Janet's smaller hand with it. Janet shut her eyes, but Sam could still see the tears escaping.

"Oh God," Janet said. "You are real. You feel just like her."

"That's because I am her, sort of," Sam said quietly. "There aren't many differences between us, we've just had some different experiences. But deep down, we're the same person."

"You are, aren't you?" Janet's voice cracked. "You really are."

"I really am," Sam replied. "I really am. And I love you Janet. Whatever reality, whatever timeline, that's something that will always stay the same."

"Will you hold me Sam?" Janet asked, her tone still fearful.

Sam tenderly pulled Janet to her, and held her tight. To start with, Janet was horribly tense; suddenly, she took a deep shuddering breath, and started to sob uncontrollably. "You're here," she kept saying to Sam, between sobs, "you're really here."

****

Kathryn watched the scene unfold before her eyes, and found it hard to hold herself together. She also felt like an intruder on the intimate scene. She put a gentle hand on Sam's shoulder. "I'm going to play bridge with the others for a couple of hours," she told her in a quiet voice. "Make yourselves at home. Take all the time you need. Remember, I'll be just down the corridor if you need me."

Sam looked up at her beloved mother-in-law. "Thanks Kathryn," she said quietly, "you've been amazing."

"I'm just glad to see you back where you belong, with my little Jay-bird. She's been lost without you."

****

Sam held Janet for what seemed like an age before she was able to pull herself together. Eventually, Janet pulled herself upright. "Sorry," she said in a thick voice. "It's just a lot to take in."

"I know it is, sweetie," Sam said gently, "and we can take things slowly. There's no hurry for anything now, not now that we've found each other. We've done the hard part. The rest will come."

A thought suddenly struck Janet. "Where are you living?" she wanted to know.

"Washington," Sam replied glumly. "But I'll sort something out. You are the only thing that matters. There's so much I want to know about your life, and there's a lot I have to tell you. We worked together, in my timeline, on an amazing project. And," she swallowed nervously, but she had to tell Janet the truth, "we've got a daughter. I'm hoping I may be able to find her here, but I don't know."

"Find her?" Janet was confused.

"She's adopted," Sam explained. "And it's complicated too. Everything's complicated. We're gonna have to talk, a lot."

"I want to know everything," Janet said. "I don't care how long it takes. Not tonight though," she said tiredly, "I'm not sure I can take any more in tonight."

"No," Sam agreed, "not tonight. Soon though. Right now, it's enough just to be breathing the same air as you, to be able to see you, hear you, feel you."

"We'll talk tomorrow," Janet said, "if you can hang around?"

"I'll stay as long as you want me to," Sam told her, "you call the shots. I know it's been a terrible shock."

"No, it hasn't," Janet said firmly, "it's been a shock, but it hasn't been terrible. Far from it. It's wonderful. I feel as though I've been given a second chance. It's hard to get my head around it, though. I mean, she's still dead, isn't she? But then you're here."

Sam just put her arms round Janet again, and pulled her into her lap. Janet was far too thin, Kathryn had been right. They would fix that though. The two of them. Together.

****

When Kathryn returned two hours later, Janet was snuggled tight into Sam on the couch, fast asleep. Sam was awake, and couldn't take her eyes off the smaller woman.

"Everything okay?" Kathryn asked in a quiet voice.

"Everything's great," Sam smiled. "Thanks Kathryn, I think this would have been even more of a shock for Janet without your help. You're one in a million."

At the sound of voices, Janet stirred.

"Shh," Sam whispered to her, "you don't have to wake up."

"Yes I do," Janet replied, a wry grin on her face. "I don't know about you, Sam, but I'm too old to stay the night on Mom's couch. I should head home. What about you?" she asked Sam, worriedly, "are you staying somewhere?"

"I'm just gonna book into a motel," Sam said, "there's one just by the highway."

Janet's heart thudded. "You could come back with me," she said, in a small voice. "Stay in the spare room," she added hurriedly, "I'm not trying to make a move on you. Not yet anyway. We've got a lot of talking we need to do first. But I'd really like it if you stayed with me."

Sam smiled, the wide open smile that Janet had so missed; Janet's heart skipped a beat when she saw it again. "That would be good," she replied, "if you don't mind."

"I'd like it," Janet told her, "very much."

****

Despite their pledge not to delve any further into the situation that evening, in the end Janet and Sam talked for hours. They still barely scratched the surface of their lives. Janet told Sam all about working at NASA, and she showed her scrapbooks, photos and news cuttings of the 'other' Sam's exploits. Sam found it really weird, seeing all of that; the worst thing was the last photograph, that of 'her' headstone. "I'm sorry," Janet said, snatching the album from her, "I didn't mean you to see that one. That must be hard for you."

"Harder for you," Sam's voice caught in her throat.

"No more of that tonight," Janet said, and then stifled a huge yawn.

"You need to sleep," Sam told her. "I do too, in fact. It's been an extraordinary day. Don't misunderstand me, it's the best day I've had since I came into this timeline. Seeing you," she took Janet's face in her hands, stroking the soft skin gently, "is amazing. I love you Janet," she said.

"I love you too Sam," Janet kissed her very softly on the lips.

****

"You got everything you need?" Janet checked with Sam as she showed her to the spare room.

"I sure have," Sam smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jan, okay? Try and sleep. I know it's been hard."

"You too, Sam," Janet said softly. "Thank you for coming to find me."

****

Janet tossed and turned, but try as she might, she couldn't get to sleep. At 0300hrs, Janet gave up, and crept down the corridor. She opened Sam's door, and saw that she was awake too; she's obviously had the same problem. "Can't sleep," she said, in an embarrassed voice, "you?"

Sam shook her head. "Too much going on in here," she tapped the side of her head.

"You've always got too much going on in there," Janet smiled sadly, "that's one of the things I love about you."

Sam sat up and drew the covers back on the bed. "You want to get in?" she asked, tentatively.

Janet looked worried. "Don't you think we're taking things a bit fast?" she asked, though every inch of her wanted to just jump in.

"Not to make love," Sam's voice was gentle. "Not yet; I just want to hold you. I want to go to sleep with you in my arms. More than that, I want to wake up with you beside me."

"I want that too," Janet whispered, "more than anything." And she slid in beside Sam, and tried not to start at the all-too-familiar, but so much missed, feeling of Sam against her in the bed. "Sam?" she asked in a small voice. "We will be okay, won't we?"

"Yes, sweetie," Sam kissed the top of her head, and wrapped her arm round the smaller woman. "We will. Whatever happens, whatever we have to face, we'll be okay. I love you Janet."

"Love you too, Sam," Janet's voice was drowsy. "Thank you for coming back to me."


	20. Chapter 20 STARTING AGAIN

When Janet awoke the next morning, she remembered a wonderful dream where, by some improbable miracle, Sam was back in her life. She jerked away, realizing that this couldn't possibly be true. And then she felt the weight of Sam's arm round her waist, and it all suddenly came back to her. It was true. Sam hadn't 'come back', but this 'other Sam', from another timeline, had come to find her. She stifled a sob of gratitude, and of sorrow - she had, after all, still lost 'her' Sam - which the wakening Sam heard.

"Janet?" Sam asked, tightening her grip around the smaller woman's middle. "You okay?"

Janet swallowed. "M'okay," she mumbled. "Thought it had all been a dream. But you're here. With me. Thank you Sam."

Sam struggled to sit up. Gently, she pulled Janet up with her, and cupped her face. "Thank you too, Janet. For letting me in. I know it's hard for you. It's weird, and it's a lot for you to take in. I'm so grateful you decided to take the risk."

"And I'm grateful that you gave me the option, Sam," Janet said, kissing her softly. "It's been too long," she took her hand, "my life's been pretty empty since the accident. One of the worst things was that only Mom knew about ... her. We kept it all under wraps because of our careers, but I couldn't even mourn openly. I went to the funeral, as a colleague, and I just wanted to scream, wanted everybody to know what we had been to each other. But I didn't. I know you're not exactly 'her' in some ways, but in others you are. And I love you Sam. I don't think there could be any version of you that I wouldn't love."

"Oh you'd be surprised," Sam thought back to the Replicator version of her. She put both her arms round Janet, and hugged her tightly. "My life was empty without you too," she told her, "nothing's been right since I came into this timeline. But now, for the first time, I know I can live here, now, even if the timeline isn't repaired."

"Repaired?" Janet asked. "Why Sam, is that an option?"

"It's complicated," Sam said sadly, not for the first time. "I'll explain everything to you. Do you have to work today Jan?" she asked.

Janet shook her head. "No, I don't have to be back for three days, I'm taking some of the time owing to me."

Sam smiled. "Good timing, huh?" she said. "Next time I come visit you from a different timeline, I'll try and make sure it coincides with your free days."

"Don't even joke about it, Sam," she said fiercely, "you're with me now, and you promised me you won't go anywhere."

Sam looked stricken. "Oh honey, I was only kidding. I'm never leaving you again," even as she said it, her face clouded over. If Ba'al were to act, she knew she might have to leave Janet. But then if he did something, all their lives, as they knew it at least, would stop. She just prayed that if she did have to try and repair the timeline, they would be successful. She would then be with Janet again. Right now, nothing apart from that mattered. That, and trying to find Cassie; she knew she couldn't last much longer without doing what she could to find out if Cassie had ever made it to this world. She couldn't even think about the possibility that Cassie might not be on Earth, that she had died with the others.

Janet noticed Sam's changing expression. "What is it, Sam?" she asked, worried. "Are you okay?"

Sam shook herself. "I'm okay Janet, I'm just thinking about just how much I'm gonna have to tell you. Most of all, I want you to know all about Cassie. About our daughter. I miss her so bad Janet."

Janet took Sam's hand. "If she's here, we'll find her Sam. We'll do everything we can." And she took Sam in her arms, and hugged her tightly. Janet was overwhelmed to be with Sam again, and she took every excuse she could find to touch her, to reassure herself that she was real, that she was really there with her. She ran her hand through Sam's thick hair. "I'm still trying to get used to you with long hair," she told her, "I never saw Sam with anything but short hair. It suits you though, hon." She laughed then. "Of course, you'd even look great bald. I don't think you could ever look bad. You're so beautiful, Sam. I love you so much." She cupped her face with both hands, and kissed her gently. Then she moved her right hand down to Sam's pajama top, and moved as though to unbutton it.

Sam put her hand softly on Janet's. "Not yet, Jan," she said in a quiet voice. She looked at Janet's disappointed face. "Don't misunderstand me, honey," she explained. "There's nothing I would like more than to make love to you, to feel as close to you as possible. But I want to tell you all about my life - and my life with the 'other' Janet - first. I want you to know everything about me, and I want to know everything about your life, and your life with the other Sam. Then, when we do make love, we won't be kidding ourselves about who we are. Does that sound dumb?" she looked up at Janet, tears in her eyes. "I don't want you to be disappointed, or to think that I'm somebody I'm not. I don't want any false pretenses."

Janet smiled lovingly at Sam. "I could never be disappointed with you. Ever. But I understand what you're saying, and though I hate to admit it, you're right. Hey," she laughed, "I can wait a few hours. It's been three years since I made love, a bit longer isn't going to kill me."

"You haven't been with anybody since?" Sam asked. "Shit, I'm sorry," she said hurriedly, "I wasn't going to ask that. You don't have to answer that Jan, it's none of my business."

"It is your business, Sam. I don't want there to be any secrets between us. None. I want you to feel free to ask me any questions, and I want to feel the same way about you. And no," Janet said wistfully, "there hasn't been anybody since. Not really. I nearly did, once," her voice hitched. "The day of the second anniversary of her ... your ... death, I suddenly saw her picture on the television in the canteen in the hospital. I knew what day it was, of course I did, but I wasn't expecting to see her picture right then, and I guess my defenses were down. We had a visiting surgeon in with us that week, and she noticed my distress. I tried to cover it up, but she wasn't going to be fooled. She came to my office later that day, to ask if I wanted to talk about it. She had guessed we were together, and just wanted to help. We went out for dinner, and I'm pretty sure she would have liked to take it further. And she was great, so kind. And beautiful. But I wasn't ready, I couldn't face having another woman in my bed." Janet laughed, self-deprecatingly. "So that was a long way of telling you that there hasn't been anybody. Until you."

Sam embraced her tightly. "Thank you for telling me Janet," she whispered into her hair.

After a few minutes, Janet pulled away, and wiped the tears from her face. "Okay," she smiled, "this isn't getting us anywhere. How about I make us some breakfast, while you get showered? And then I'll shower while you wash up, does that sound fair?"

Sam grinned. "Sounds good to me." Janet hopped off the bed, and headed to the door. Sam watched her too-thin frame. "Jan?" she said, tentatively.

Janet turned.

"You've lost a lot of weight, honey," Sam stumbled over her words, she didn't want to patronize Janet. "What about we have pancakes?"

Janet reddened. "I know," her voice was not much above a whisper. "I didn't mean it to happen, Sam, I swear," she told her, "it's just that after the accident, I had no appetite. And then I found it hard to keep anything down for a while. And then I didn't have anybody to cook for, cooking for one's not much fun really."

Sam smiled. "You're still beautiful Jan."

Janet smiled back. "I love you Sam."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

After breakfast, Janet took her shower, and then joined Sam in the living room. She brought two large mugs of coffee with her. "Thought we could use these," she smiled. "We've got a lot of talking to do, I guess."

"Thanks Jan," Sam took a mug from Janet. "Yeah, I reckon we have. I'll start right from the beginning, if that's okay, from when I started work on the Stargate program in Washington. I know you haven't heard of the Stargate, but believe me, you'll be amazed when I tell it all. Or you'll think I'm just crazy."

And she embarked on the story. By 1400hrs, she was still only part-way through the tale, so she and Janet moved to the kitchen, where Janet made pasta while Sam chopped the salad. Sam was gratified to see Janet manage a good-sized portion. She would be fine, she decided, and made a mental note to try not to nag her.

It took the whole day, and by the end of the day, Janet had endless questions to ask. But at least she had a clearer idea of Sam's life, and of her own life in that timeline. Her head was spinning as she tried to absorb details of life on other planets, the predatory, parasitic Goa'uld, the many near-death - and actual death - experiences that Sam had had, the close bond shared by SG-1 of which Sam spoke with such affection. She tried to memorize all the names and places, and knew that she was hardly taking in any of them. She would learn, Sam would be patient with her.

"So what about your daughter?" Janet asked. Sam had deliberately kept the story of Cassandra to the end, wanting Janet to have some understanding of the Stargate before she attempted an explanation.

"Our daughter," Sam said softly. "She's 22 now. She's beautiful, and smart, and funny. You'd love her. We found her, 11 years ago, on a planet that had been devastated by one of the worst Goa'uld, Nirrti. She was the only survivor of a disease that Nirrti introduced. We brought her back with us, and she was adopted by the Janet from my timeline. You're a spectacular mom, did you know that? We brought her up together, and she's been wonderful. I'm so proud of her. She's only just come back, from a round-the-world trip, with her girlfriend Anna. They got engaged last week," Sam's voice broke slightly, the memory of Cassie and Anna's beaming faces almost too much for her to bear. "They fit so well together. Oh God, Janet," Sam burst out, "what happens if I don't find her? D'you think she'd still be with Anna? Maybe she didn't even make it to Earth. I can't bear it if she died along with all the others on Hanka."

"Shh," Janet soothed. "We don't know that. She may be absolutely fine. So many things are the same in this timeline. Where did she meet Anna? Is she local? Maybe we could go ask her, check out if she knows a Cassandra. We'll do whatever she can," she took Sam's hand in hers. "We'll search high and low. If she's here, we'll find her. After all," she smiled a small smile, "there's nothing you don't know about hacking computer systems, unless of course your timeline has been much different to this one!"

Sam gave a wan smile in return. "That's true, I usually manage to break into any system I need," she agreed, "nobody really understands how to encrypt data properly. And I hadn't thought of Anna. Before meeting Cass, she was working in a bookshop in London, England. She's British."

"Well I've always wanted to go to London," Janet said, "how about we take a trip? Will the goons watching you allow you to go that far?"

Sam nodded. "I can't see that they'd object. After all, there's no link to the Stargate program there. I'll just tell them I want a vacation, that I want to see a bit of Europe."

"That's settled then," Janet said. "I've got two weeks' vacation starting at the end of the month, only three weeks away. We'll go then."

"Would you really do that for me?" Sam was overwhelmed.

"For us," Janet said firmly. "For our family."

Sam reached over to Janet, and pulled her into a deep kiss. "You're amazing," she said in a soft voice. "I thank God that I found you again."

"So do I, Sam, so do I," said Janet. She grinned. "So," she said, in a suggestive voice, "you reckon we know enough about each other now?" she caressed Sam's cheek.

Sam smiled back. "We've made a good start," her voice was low with desire. "Think we should head upstairs, and get to know each other a bit better?"

"Hell yeah," Janet growled, and took her by the hand, pulling her toward the stairs.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"I've never been to England before," Janet told Sam at the airport, "have you?"

"Only once, when I was a student," Sam told her. "I did the same as Cass, traveled the world for a year. Though I only spent two weeks in England, I didn't get sidetracked by a hot bookstore assistant in London. Are we crazy Jan? We don't even know if she's there. In my timeline, Anna was going to Japan, to teach. She could be there."

"But Japan was only four months," Janet reminded her. "She'd be finished by now. And the school semester doesn't start for six weeks in England," she had checked her facts on the net, "so she could easily be back at the bookstore. Even if she isn't, she's likely in England, and her uncle should be able to help us, shouldn't he?"

Sam nodded thoughtfully. "As long as he doesn't think we're a couple of basket cases. I know we could have called, but I didn't want to scare her off on the 'phone."

Janet put her arm round her lover's waist. "We'll just go there and see what we can do," she said. "And if that doesn't work, we'll try something else. We'll find her if we possibly can, Sam, I swear."

"You're so good to me," Sam tried to keep the emotion out of her voice.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"This must be the place," Sam said as they approached the bookstore in London's Covent Garden. "This is weird. I've heard a lot about this place, but I've never been here."

"Are you okay, honey?" Janet asked her solicitously.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Sam reassured her. "I'm just finding this kinda strange. I hope she's here, Jan, at least then I'll know I'm not totally crazy."

"Let's go in," Janet said decisively, and she entered the store. It was dark and musty, just what she had imagined an old bookstore in England would be like. She didn't see anybody, so she headed round the corner, where a young woman was working. The young woman looked up. "Hi Janet," she said.

Janet gasped. "Do you know me?"

The woman looked at her, and then blinked, and shook her head. "I'm sorry, I thought I did for a moment. But I don't think I do after all."

"My name's Janet," Janet began.

"And I'm Sam. Hi Anna," Sam said, her voice shaking.

Anna looked confused. "This is weird," she said finally. "I feel I know you two, but then I know we've never met."

Sam stepped forward. "Don't worry," she said gently. "I think I can probably explain, if you'll let me. It's a real long story though. Do you have some time? We'd really like to talk to you. We're not nutcases, I swear. I'm just trying to find my daughter, and I think you may be able to help."

Anna stared. "Okay," she said, after a long pause. "Of course, if I can help. There's a cafe round the corner, Ginelli's. Can we go there to talk?"

"Sure," Sam agreed. "Just one thing before we go, though. I want you to take a look at this picture." She reached into her purse, to take out the small, laminated picture she carried everywhere. She knew that carrying photographs was against the rule in the military, but it was one rule she ignored. And she had held tight onto the picture since arriving in the new timeline; at the beginning, it was the only thing that had kept her sane. The photograph was double-sided, a black and white head shot of Janet on one side, and a close up of Cassie smiling broadly on the other. "Do you know this woman?"

Anna looked at the picture. "Cassie," she said in a quiet voice. "She's called Cassie."

Sam nodded. "Are you two together?"

Anna started to weep. "You're going to think I'm mad," she said. "I've never met her. Not in person. But I've dreamt about her. Several times. In my dreams, we're in love. But then I wake up and realize I've just imagined her. What is this?" she was becoming distraught. "Am I losing my mind?"

"No," Sam's voice was gentle. "It's a very strange situation, but there's nothing wrong with you, I swear. Can we talk to you? To explain?"

Anna nodded. "Joe!" she called to her uncle. "I'm going out for a while, I'll be at Ginelli's if you need me." She shrugged on her coat.

As they left the store, Sam put her hand on the young woman's shoulder. "It's all going to be okay," she reassured her, "don't worry."


	21. Chapter 21 SEARCHING

The three women sat in a corner booth in the cafe, Sam and Janet facing Anna.

Sam reached over the table, and put her hand gently over Anna's. "This is complicated," she began, in a soft voice. "I mean, real complicated. I'm going try and tell you the shortened version. You're probably gonna think I'm nuts, but if you try and keep an open mind, it'll help."

Anna nodded, and looked up as three coffees were delivered to the table. She smiled, "thanks Mario," she said, and wrapped her hands round the warm mug.

"Do you know anything about alternate timelines?" Sam asked her.

Anna shook her head. "No," she said, "that means nothing to me."

"Okay, then," Sam took a deep breath. "It's similar in a way to the idea of alternate realities, which are different versions of the lives we know; scientists posit that, for every decision we make, there's an alternate version of us that has made the opposite decision, and an alternate reality to go with that decision. Alternate timelines are similar. I'm in one now; the life I knew up until a few months ago was different. I had a different job, an adopted daughter - Cassie - and my relationship with Janet was different. In some ways, that is. In other ways, it was exactly the same. It's just circumstances that were different."

Anna looked disbelievingly at Sam. "That's crazy," she said, shaking her head.

"It's not," Janet said quietly. "It sounds crazy, but it's not. In this timeline, which was altered by somebody going back in time and changing something important from history, I wasn't with Sam any longer. My version of Sam," her voice shook at the memory, "died in a space shuttle accident just over three years ago."

"Oh my God," Anna gasped. "You're her!" she looked at Sam. "You're that astronaut. How the hell did that happen?"

"It's like Janet said," Sam said, "history was changed. And I'm not gonna go in to how I came to move to this reality, that's just too complex right now. But you have to know that I did. And as soon as I reasonably could, I searched out Janet and she," Sam took Janet's hand, "she made me the happiest woman in the world by letting me into her life. My life is worth living again, thanks to her. But one thing is missing, my daughter - our daughter - Cassandra. She's never been a part of Janet's timeline, so I'm trying everything I can to track her down. And in my timeline, Cassie was with you Anna. In fact, the week before everything changed for me, you had just asked her to marry you."

Anna flinched at this information.

"Are you okay?" Janet asked her. "We don't want to upset you with all this."

Anna swallowed. "I'm fine," she whispered. "I just don't know what my girlfriend would have to say about that."

"Your girlfriend?" Janet asked.

"Yeah," Anna replied, though she didn't look happy at the turn the conversation had taken. "We had split up before I went to Japan. I went to Japan..."

"... for four months, to teach," Sam finished her sentence for her.

Anna looked at her, amazed. "Yeah," she said. "We weren't together when I left. We were.. fighting.. quite a lot. But then she came out half way through my time out there, and she was so kind and so sweet, and so loving. We've been back together ever since."

"Tina?" Sam asked gently.

Anna nodded. "Either what you're saying is all true," she said, "or there's some other reason you know all that about me."

Sam took her hand again. "But that wouldn't account for the fact that you recognized Janet. Or for your dreams about Cassie," she said gently. "I know I sound like I'm nuts, but it's true. Really it is."

Anna swallowed. "So what is it you want from me? How can I help you?"

Sam shook her head. "I don't really know," she said. "I guess I was hoping that, somehow, you and Cass had got together. That we'd find Cassie here. I knew it was unlikely, but it was worth a try. I love her so much, you see. And you too, you fitted into the family perfectly."

She saw the anguish on Anna's face. "I'm sorry," she said, "I'm not trying to upset you, I know you're with Tina instead. And I hope you're happy," she took a chance here, "but looking at you, I'm worried that you're not."

Anna opened her mouth to object.

"I'm sorry," Sam said again, "it's none of my business, I know that. It's just hard, you know? In my timeline, Tina treated you badly. Very badly. But it could all be different here. Just promise me one thing, will you?"

Anna looked at her, and Sam couldn't fail to see the fear in her eyes.

"Call if you need me," Sam handed her a card. "That's got my cell number on it. Janet and I plan to stay in London for the rest of the week, but even after that, you can call. Any time at all."

"It says 'Beth Porter' on this," Anna said.

"Yeah," Sam said, "That's my 'new' name; I can't call myself Sam Carter any more. Only Janet knows me as Sam. And you, now, of course."

"Just one question," Anna asked. "How come I've got memories, or images, or whatever it is, of a timeline I've never experienced?"

Sam shook her head. "I really don't know," she admitted. "Near as I can tell, this timeline's bleeding into my timeline, or the other way round. Just in a couple of ways. Janet's mom was the same."

"But Janet isn't?" Anna asked. "How come she didn't recognize me?"

"I have no idea," Sam said, "I'll be honest, I don't really understand most of this. But I do know, if Cassie does exist in this timeline, I have to find her."

Anna nodded, and pocketed the card. "I've got to go," her voice was husky with emotion. "Tina's meeting me for lunch. She gets mad if I'm late."

"Can we come see you tomorrow?" Janet asked. She knew how much this quest meant to Sam. Even if Anna couldn't help, she felt that Sam wanted to get to know her better. And the girl looked unhappy, maybe they could help her?

Anna shook her head. "I'll call," she promised, "I'll tell you when and where we can meet again," she looked slightly scared. "I swear, I'll call you some time tomorrow. Tina's going away tomorrow afternoon for a couple of days, so I'll see you after she's gone. She likes to spend all her spare time with me. She loves me," her tone became defensive. "She doesn't like me to be away from her."

"Okay," Janet's tone was gentle. "We'll wait to hear from you then."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Sam and Janet left the coffee shop deep in thought. Janet slipped her hand through Sam's, as they made their way down the street. "Are you okay, baby?" Janet asked.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay," she insisted, but her voice was wavering. "It's just... I had so hoped Cassie was there."

"I know, honey," Janet said softly, "I know. We'll find her, if she exists in this timeline, we'll find her."

"Anna looked sad, didn't she?" Sam asked, "I wish we could just drag her away from that Tina."

"I know, Sam," Janet replied, "but we can't, you know that. She has to make up her own mind. We can't make that decision for her."

"I know that," Sam's tone was miserable. "It's just awful to see."

"We can stay longer than a week," Janet suggested, "we'll get through to her, I'm sure. Hey look," Janet pointed across the street. "A sightseeing bus! What about it, hon? Shall we be real tourists? Let's get on it, shall we? And then we can go back to the hotel for a nap before dinner."

Sam smiled. "Yeah, why not?" she agreed, "I think that'd be good."

"And we can dress up for dinner," Janet grinned, "I need to see you in that new dress you bought for the trip. You've been so secretive about it, I wanna know what all the fuss is about."

Sam smiled at that; she had bought the expensive dress on a whim while out shopping when Janet was at work. She knew it emphasized all her best parts, and it was very similar to one she used to have, that drove her 'old' Janet crazy. "Okay, sweetie," she said, "just promise me that you'll wear the silk shirt."

"That's a deal," Janet said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

They returned to the hotel four hours later, tired but exhilarated. They had enjoyed their 'whistle-stop' tour of the capital, and saw many things they expected, plus quite a few things they knew nothing about. They agreed that, once everything was settled, they would come back for a few weeks and really get to know the city that had meant so much to Cassie. But the weather had suddenly turned cold, so they were pleased to make it back to the hotel, just as the sleet started.

Janet sat heavily on the couch in their suite. They had booked a suite at the hotel, with two bedrooms and a small living room. They didn't care what everybody thought of them sharing a bed, but just in case the authorities were keeping tabs on Sam, they wanted to pretend she and Janet were just friends. In 'her' timeline, Sam's relationship with Janet was well-known, by everybody that mattered, but she had had no hint that in this timeline anyone knew she was gay. It was nobody's business, she reasoned, but more to the point, she didn't want the authorities delving too deep in case they found out Janet's connection to the astronaut Sam.

Janet looked up at Sam, and smiled wearily. "I think I'm gonna take a nap before we go to dinner," she said, "how about you? You look all-in."

She was right, Sam was exhausted. The emotion of the morning was taking its toll. "Yeah," she smiled affectionately at her lover. "We need to be at our best tonight, don't we? It's going to be a special evening, I've just got that feeling."

"It sure will, honey," Janet said, "especially if that dress lives up to its reputation."

"Oh I don't think you'll be disappointed," Sam grinned. "Leastways, I hope not. I bought it just for you."

"Can't wait!" Janet replied. "Now c'mere," and she pulled Sam to the bed, where the taller woman kicked off her shoes and lay down next to Janet. Janet snuggled up to Sam, and pulled the quilt over both of them. "You okay, hon?" Janet asked.

"Never better," Sam said, drowsily, "sleep well baby."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet awoke at 1900hrs, to find the bed empty and cold next to her. She sat up groggily, and it was only when she heard the shower running in the bathroom that she realized where Sam had got to.

Janet was waiting with a warm towel as Sam exited the shower, and she wrapped the soft fabric round her. "Hey," Sam smiled, "that's got to be the best way to leave a shower!"

Janet kissed her softly on the cheek. "I was tempted to join you, hon, but we don't have much time, our table's booked for 7.30pm. And showering with you always takes such a looooong time."

Sam grinned. "I'll go get dressed, Jan," she said, "you can take a nice quick shower, I swear not to interrupt you."

Janet showered swiftly, and when she returned to their bedroom, wrapped in a towel, Sam was nowhere to be seen. "Sam?" she called, "where are you?"

"In here," Sam called back, laughter in her voice, "I'm in the other bedroom. No peeking until I'm ready."

Janet pouted, and then laughed at herself, realizing that Sam hadn't seen the pout, so there had been no point. "I suppose you've got the hairdryer in there too, huh?" mock-exasperation in her voice.

"Yup!" Sam was laughing too. "I'll be finished with it in a few minutes."

"I'll come get it then?" Janet thought she could trick her way into the room.

"Oh no," Sam said, "I'll leave it outside the door. You're not coming in here until I'm good and ready."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Twenty minutes later, both women were dressed and ready. "C'mon," Janet nagged, tapping on the door of the other bedroom. "You must be ready by now."

The door handle turned, and Janet gasped as Sam opened the door. She was wearing a low-cut, blue slinky dress that clung to her in all the right places, emphasizing the curves that she so often hid under jeans and sweaters; her shoulders, which she knew could drive Janet wild, were bare, though she carried a wrap to cover herself on the way to the restaurant downstairs in the hotel. Her long, blonde hair curled enticingly round her neck and shoulders, and her jewelry was elegant and complemented her outfit perfectly.

Janet gasped; she had never seen Sam looking so hot. "Oh my God," she whispered. "Sam, you're just stunning."

Sam grinned, the goofy, embarrassed grin she always wore when Janet complimented her. "You're looking pretty hot yourself," she replied, her voice husky. As promised, Janet was wearing her sheer silk blouse over smart black pants, and as Sam had hoped, she had undone the top two buttons, so Sam could glimpse the soft curve of her breasts.

"That's probably because the temperature here has suddenly gone up ten degrees!" Janet was only half joking. "How about we skip dinner, go straight to 'dessert'?" she suggested saucily.

"Oh no," Sam admonished, "I didn't get all dressed up just to stay in our suite. Anyway," she said firmly, "I'm hungry."

She didn't mention that Janet, too, should eat. She was still underweight, even though she had gained a couple of pounds back since she and Sam had hooked up again. Sam had sworn to herself that she wouldn't nag Janet about the weight she had lost, but there was also no way she would countenance allowing her to skip a meal.

Janet swallowed. "Okay, then," she agreed, "let's hit the dining room. Though every eye in the room's gonna be on you, honey."

Sam grinned. "On both of us," she said. "And they can look if they want, but they can't touch."

Janet reached up and kissed Sam. "I love you baby," she said, her voice cracking. "So much."

"Back at ya," Sam unconsciously mimicked O'Neill.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

After dessert, Janet reached over and put her hand over Sam's. "We don't have to stay for coffee, do we?" she pleaded. Sam had enjoyed teasing her lover all through dinner, and Janet knew that she would just burst if she didn't get her hands on her soon.

Sam grinned. "I guess not," she twinkled, "if we get desperate for caffeine, we can always call room service, can't we?"

The look of relief on Janet's face was palpable, and Sam laughed out loud. She leaned over and whispered in her ear, "race you to the elevator!"

Janet was on her feet before Sam had finished her sentence, and somehow managed to get to the elevator in double-quick time, without looking as though she was hurrying and making their plans obvious to the other diners. Sam was still collecting her purse and wrap, so she was a few moments behind Janet. "Never kid a kidder," Janet grinned triumphantly.

The two women held hands as they waited for the elevator to arrive, and were delighted that they were the only passengers in it when it came. As the doors slid shut, Janet pulled Sam to her. "All mine," she said, "all mine."

Sam looked deep into her eyes. "I've always been yours, Jan," she said in a serious voice, "and I always will be. Whatever timeline we're in, whatever happens, I'll always be yours." She kissed Janet passionately, eliciting a whimper of pleasure from her smaller lover.

"Oh God," Janet said, "I don't think I can wait. Why is this damned elevator taking so long?"

"Just a few more minutes," Sam's voice was breathy, and Janet could tell she was as desperate as she was to get to the privacy of their bedroom. "Just hang on a bit longer, baby."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Several hours later, Sam and Janet lay tightly entwined in each others' arms. "I think that was the best ever," Janet said, tears in her eyes.

"Hey, baby, are you okay?" Sam was concerned at Janet's sudden tearfulness.

Janet nodded, "I'm okay," she said, her voice cracking, "I've just missed... that... so much. Being back with you these last few weeks has been incredible. I never imagined I could be this happy again."

Sam embraced her tightly. "I know, Jan, you were on your own for over three years. I can't begin to imagine what that was like for you. In my timeline, just being apart for a few weeks at a time for the last year has been awful. But at least I could talk to you, that version of you, on the email every day, and we made sure we saw each other as often as possible. But to be ... well, widowed. I don't know how you coped, honey."

"Badly," Janet admitted. "It was awful. If it weren't for Mom, I'd have had nothing at all. She kept telling me it would get better, but I didn't believe her. My world just stopped after the accident. And I know you're not the same Sam, not exactly. She's still dead, and I'll always miss her. But there's so much of you that is the same."

"We are the same people," Sam said gently, "we've just had different experiences. Just like you are the same Janet."

"Just swear to me we'll always be together, Sam," Janet knew Sam couldn't promise that, any more than she could.

"Whatever happens, Jan," Sam said, "finding you, being with you, will always be my top priority."

"Followed by finding Cassie," Janet added quietly.

"Yeah," Sam agreed sadly. "That's next on the list. I love her so much Jan, and you will too, the 'you' from my timeline is an amazing Mom. I will find her," she said, determinedly, "I will."

"*We* will, Sam," Janet picked up her hand and kissed it softly, "we'll find her together."

"You're amazing, Janet," Sam said gratefully, "you've not even met Cassie."

"You love her Sam, that's good enough for me," Janet said. "Wanna take a shower baby? We're all sweaty."

Sam grinned bashfully. "Yeah," she agreed, "we are aren't we?"

They took a long, leisurely shower together and then, because it was a cold night, put on their pajamas before heading back to bed. They snuggled up tightly, and drifted off to sleep.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

It was 0445hrs when Sam's cellphone rang. "Yeah?" she answered, panic coursing through her veins. Who would be calling at this time?

"You did say any time," Anna's voice shook.

"And I meant it. Are you okay Anna?" Sam wondered what could have happened.

"Yeah," Anna said vaguely. "No. No, I'm not."

"What is it Anna?" Sam asked in a gentle voice.

Janet sat up at these words. "Is she okay?" she mouthed at Sam. Sam shook her head, concern clear in her deep blue eyes.

"We had a fight," Anna replied. " She threw me out."

"Where are you?" Sam demanded, "I'll come get you."

"Outside your hotel," Anna sounded disoriented. "I remembered where you were staying."

"But it's freezing!" Sam exclaimed. "I'm coming down. Get into the lobby, I'll meet you there."

She leapt off the bed, and snatched her robe from the back of the door where it was hanging. "Back in a moment," she called to Janet, as she set off at a sprint. She knew the elevator would take too long to arrive, so she ran six flights, barefooted, down the stairwell. Anna was standing in the corner of the lobby, soaked to the skin, and almost blue with cold. Sam ran over to her, took off her robe and wrapped it round the girl's shoulders. She wasn't even shaking, which Sam knew was a bad sign. Wordlessly, she guided her to the elevator, one arm round her waist, the other holding her hand. She was afraid Anna would pass out before they got to the hotel suite, but somehow the girl stayed on her feet. Janet was waiting anxiously at the door.

"Early stages of hypothermia, I think," Sam said in a quiet voice.

Janet nodded. She wasn't surprised; Anna was wearing only a thin shirt and cotton pants, she could see from the hotel window that the sleet was driving hard, and she knew that the temperature must be below freezing. Their hotel was at least half an hour's walk from Covent Garden, where Anna lived with Tina. And the girl was clearly in shock from whatever had happened. "Run the tub," Janet said softly to Sam, "not too hot. We've got to get her warm," and she helped Anna to sit on the bed.

Sam returned from the bathroom with a pile of towels, and between them, they helped Anna out of her sodden clothes. Janet tried not to gasp when she saw a large dark bruise on Anna's side, but she couldn't stop herself from exclaiming when she saw the angry raised red and blue marks on her left wrist. "Oh my God," she whispered to Sam, "these look like fingermarks." Janet gently examined the joint, taking care not to cause Anna any more pain. "It's not broken," Janet said, "just badly bruised. I'll strap it later."

Sam nodded grimly. "You're okay now," she said softly to Anna. "We're gonna take care of you. It'll be okay."

At this, Anna started to weep. She had also started to shake, a good sign, as it meant that at last her body was trying to fight off the cold. Sam and Janet helped her into the tub, taking care not to exacerbate her injuries.

After half an hour in the tub, Anna had warmed up greatly, though her face was frighteningly white and she was struggling to keep awake. "Time to get out, I think," Janet said, tenderly, and between them she and Sam almost lifted her out and set her on the toilet. Anna seemed incapable of independent movement, so they dried her off, and dressed her in one of Sam's long, brush cotton shirts. Sam also found a warm pair of socks, which she put on her while Janet strapped her injured wrist.

"Think you can stand?" Sam asked Anna. Anna nodded, and got shakily to her feet. She swayed alarmingly, and Sam only just caught her in time before she slid to the floor. Between them, she and Janet carried her to the bed in the other room.

"M'sorry," Anna mumbled, "jus' tired. So tired."

"That's okay," Janet told her, "you've been through a terrible ordeal. D'you think you can tell us what happened?" her voice was gentle and caring.

"No," Anna said, "need to sleep. Tomorrow."

"Okay, sweetheart," Janet ran her hand tenderly through her hair. "You sleep. We'll stay with you. You're safe now. Everything's gonna be alright."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"We should really call the police," Sam said grimly, once Anna had fallen to sleep.

"I know," Janet agreed sadly, "but so often they won't prosecute, not unless there are witnesses. And I'm not sure Anna's strong enough, mentally, to cope with all that right now."

"We'll talk to her in the morning," Sam agreed. "Whatever happens, Tina's not getting away with this."

Janet nodded. She put her hand on Sam's arm. "Just promise me you won't do anything crazy, Sam," her voice was determined.

"I won't, Jan, I swear," Sam said, "Tina isn't worth it. But I will make sure she knows there are some things you just can't do, and hurting Anna is one of those."

Janet hugged Sam tightly.


	22. Chapter 22 EXPLANATIONS

"It was horrible," Anna started to tell Sam and Janet about the previous night. "I mean, I knew Tina had a bad temper. That's why we split up in the first place, actually," she looked anguished.

"You don't have to tell us anything," Janet said in a soft voice, "not if you don't want to."

"I want to," Anna sniffed. "I want you to know; I don't know why, but you feel like family to me. Though I don't think this is something I could ever tell Mum or Dad. Or Izzie. They'd be so upset."

"Go on," Sam said, "if you want to."

"We split up, months before I went to Japan. We'd been arguing for ever. Silly things mostly, or at least to start with. But then she started to get really controlling. She wanted to supervise my diet, said I was getting fat. I didn't mind at the beginning, I thought she just wanted the best for me, that she loved me. And maybe she did, who knows?"

Janet put her arm round the shaken woman. "That sort of control has nothing to do with love," she said, quietly, "it's more sinister than that. We none of us have the right to control anybody else."

"Well she said she was doing it for my sake," Anna went on. "And it was mostly okay, though some evenings I dreaded the sound of her key in the lock. She had these mood swings, sometimes she's full of energy and really happy, other times she gets really black moods. And I started being able to tell, just by the way she put her key in the lock, what sort of mood she was in. But she was never violent, not until that night we split up. When she hit me, I was so shocked, I didn't know what to say, what to do."

"What made her hit you?" Sam's question was almost a whisper.

Anna laughed grimly. "It sounds so stupid now. She hit me because I'd put the wrong towels out in the bathroom. She said she'd had to tell me too often, and I had to learn my lesson." She tried to ignore the horrified gasps from Sam and Janet. "But it only happened once," she said, fiercely. "There's a limit to what I'll put up with, and she overstepped the mark that night."

"What did you do?" Janet asked.

"I packed a bag, and went home to my parents in Oxford. I was in a state, but they 'put me back together'. Them and Izzie," Anna's heart melted at the memory of the tender care she had had from her family. "Izzie's my sister, she's got..."

"Down's Syndrome," Sam filled in.

Anna looked up. "I forget you know all about me," she said.

"Not all," Sam's voice was soft, "but some of the really important things, like how much you love your family. You're scared of flying, too. You're allergic to shellfish. You're a lousy cook. You love the rain. And Cassie," Sam's voice hitched.

"All that's true," Anna said, "except for the Cassie part. And I do feel that I will love her, if we can ever find her. In my dreams we're in love."

"So you stayed with your family?" Janet prompted.

"Yeah, for a few months. It was really nice," Anna said, "in some ways. I felt like I was going back to my childhood. I felt safe, and loved. But I knew I had to get my life back, so I did a bit of teaching, and then worked in the bookshop before going to Japan for four months. Japan was great, especially to start with. Getting a new job gave me back my confidence, and I found I was really enjoying it. But then Tina came out; I had no idea she was coming. I still don't know how she knew where I was living. But I got home one day, and there she was. On the doorstep. Waiting for me." She paled at the memory.

Sam put a comforting hand on Anna's arm. "There's no hurry, sweetheart," she told her. "We've got all the time in the world."

Anna took a deep breath. "I'm okay," she said bravely. "I'm okay. Tina was there. I told her to leave, but she wouldn't. She begged me to let her in the flat, so she could talk to me. And what she said was so heartfelt, so beautiful. She said that she understood she had behaved appallingly, but that she had come to realize that her life was empty without me. She told me," Anna's voice cracked, "that I was the one beautiful thing she had ever had in her life. And she promised she would never hurt me again, in any way. She said she had been taking anger-management classes - I later found out that was a lie - and that she would do anything if I gave her another chance. I was so stupid," Anna looked up, tears in her eyes. "I wanted to believe her. I had loved her so much, I just wanted it to work again. So I let her back," she looked down at her shaking hands, embarrassed and ashamed.

Janet knelt by her side. "You didn't do anything wrong, Anna," she told her. "You loved her, you wanted to forgive her. You didn't do anything wrong. And so often we all need a second chance," she looked up at Sam. "I got a second chance at love when Sam came 'back' into my life. We all want to be with someone. You mustn't feel bad."

"It was good, to start with," Anna said. "I told her I wasn't going to leave Japan early. I was quite assertive at that stage. And she didn't put any pressure on me. She stayed with me, looked after me, cooked for me while I was at work. And," she looked embarrassed, "she would stay the whole night with me. Before, she always went to her own room ... after. But now she would stay and hold me all night. And that was amazing, it was so beautiful. It was better than the sex, actually," she looked bashful, "just being held. And loved. But then, when we got back to England, and moved back into her flat in Covent Garden, that all changed. She told me that she wanted her own space at night, and that anyway she had a bad back. Funny how she never had a bad back in Japan. And then it all went gradually down hill. The first really big fight we had after getting back was when she heard me on the 'phone telling Mum we had got back together. She said I had sounded ashamed of her."

"Did she hit you again?" Janet asked gently.

"No!" Anna replied fiercely. "I wouldn't have put up with that. But she had smaller, insidious ways of being mean. And she chipped away at my confidence, so I started to feel I needed her to make some decisions for me."

"But she hurt you last night?" Sam didn't want to traumatize Anna further, but she knew that she would feel better if she told them.

"Yeah," Anna said, miserably. "She was so angry with me for meeting you two. I told her that you were old friends of my parents, that we only had a coffee. But she didn't believe that was all there was to it. So she pushed me, hard, and I landed on my side, on the coffee table. It hurt like hell, I was sure I was going to pass out. But I didn't, and after a while, I picked myself up, and just went into my bedroom. I did think about calling you then, but I hardly knew you, and what could I say? 'Hey Sam, remember me? I've had a fight with my girlfriend, can you come and rescue me?' It would have sounded so stupid."

"You could have called and said exactly that," Sam said firmly, "and we'd have been there."

Anna looked up at Sam and Janet. "You two are so kind to me. You don't even know me."

"I *do* know you," Sam pushed a loose lock of hair behind Anna's ear. "Better than you know."

"I should have realized that," Anna looked stricken. "But I didn't, I just went to bed. My side was so painful, and I had a bad headache. And I was cold, too. You know what it's like when you just can't get warm, and you know it's emotional rather than physical?"

"That's shock," Janet said. "You were in shock."

Anna nodded. "A couple of hours later," she continued, "I could smell cooking. And then Tina knocked on my door, told me she had made me a chicken stew. She let herself into my room, with a bowl of stew. She didn't say she was sorry, and I thought I could smell alcohol on her breath. But it seemed she was trying to be nice, so I tried not to antagonize her. I told her I'd have the stew the next day, but that I wasn't feeling too good. It was true, my side hurt and my head was pounding, and I wasn't sure I could keep any food down. She tried to persuade me to eat, and when I refused, she just went crazy. Told me I was a spoiled bitch, that I didn't know what was good for me. And then," tears started to roll down her cheeks, "she told me I was only good for one thing," by this stage, Anna's voice was not much above a whisper.

"Oh please God no," Sam was aghast.

"She took off her shirt, and pushed me back against the bed," Anna was pale and shaking slightly at the memory. "She said she would show me that I should never refuse her anything."

"She didn't...?" Janet was appalled.

"No," Anna said quietly, "she didn't. I wouldn't let her. But she was so angry when I fought back. She's very strong, you know, she tried to pin me down... that's when she hurt my wrist. But I pushed past her, and I ran out of the flat. And the rest you know," Anna exhaled, a shuddering, exhausted breath. "I won't go back," her jaw was set firm. "You don't have to worry about that. I'll never let her do that to me again."

Sam sat next to Anna on the couch, and put her arms round her. "You're very brave," she told her. "So many women find it impossible to leave an abusive partner. I admire you so much. The worst is over now, I swear to you."

"Can we call your parents?" Janet asked, "they'll want to know," she said.

Anna shook her head. "They're abroad right now, with Iz. They're spending three weeks in New York, then they're going to visit Mum's aunt in Chicago. I don't want to ruin their trip," she said determinedly, "they don't need to know. Not until they get back. I'll rent somewhere for a month, or I could even stay in the flat above the bookshop."

"In Covent Garden?" Sam asked. "Do you really want to be living in the same part of town as Tina?"

"Not ideally," Anna said. "But I'm not going to interrupt their trip," she said hotly, "they've done so much for me already, and they've been looking forward to going to the States for months. I won't ask them to come back. I won't!" she was crying again.

"Shhh," Sam said, hugging her tighter, "you don't have to. It's okay, Anna. We won't make you do anything you don't want to, I promise you. You're in charge of you, never forget that. I've got an idea though. What about you come back with us? We can all stay at Janet's house in Montana, for a few weeks. You can call your folks, tell them you're visiting with friends, and then they can come get you after they've been to Chicago. That way, you won't interrupt your trip. If you want, you can tell them it didn't work out with Tina, so that's why you decided to get away for a while. I'll bet they'll be pleased she's no longer part of your life."

Anna looked hopeful. "Would you really do that for me?"

Sam smiled. "Well, I suppose we'd better ask Janet, since it's her house I'm inviting us all to!"

Janet grinned. "The house has been too empty for too long," she said, wistfully, "I can't think of anything I'd like more. And Anna, you can help me persuade Sam that she's got to move to Montana. I don't think I can bear to be apart from her ever again."

Anna nodded, and gave a small, shy smile. "You two belong together," she said, quietly.

"We'll always be together," Sam's voice was firm. "And if they won't let me move to Montana, I'll threaten to tell the whole world about the Stargate program."

"Stargate?" Anna wanted to know.

"Oh my God," Sam laughed, "that's a whole other can of worms. We'll fill you in on everything, I promise. So how about it, Anna? Will you come back with us on Saturday?"

"If that's okay," Anna said. "I think that'd be really good. And I think I might 'phone Mum tonight, tell her I'm coming out. I'll tell her Tina and I agreed to split up. You're right, she'll be delighted. So will Izzie, she hates Tina. She pretends she doesn't, for my sake, but I can see it in her face. She's a really bad liar."

****

All three women were exhausted after the revelations. Janet took Anna gently by the hand, and led her back to her bedroom, where she tucked her in. "Sleep," she said quietly to her, "you're safe now. We'll call you when it's time for dinner."

When she returned to the small living room in their suite, Sam was still sitting on the couch, a grim expression on her face. "Hey baby, are you okay?" she asked, concerned.

"I'm fine, Jan," Sam took her hand and pushed her gently onto the couch next to her. "It's just so awful hearing all of that."

Janet nodded. "It's just awful," she agreed, "I can never understand why people have to do that to others."

"It may be even worse than we think," Sam hesitated. She wasn't sure she should tell Janet.

"Spill," Janet said, firmly, seeing indecision in her lover's face.

"It might not be the same, it could be different," Sam stalled, and then saw the determined expression on Janet's face. "Okay then, I'll tell you." She took a deep breath. "In my timeline, Anna told us what Tina did to her before they split up. She made her a chicken stew, using rotten meat. Anna was so sick," tears sprang to Sam's eyes, "for days and days. I'm just wondering if that was what she made for her last night."

"Oh God," Janet gasped.

"It might not be," Sam stressed. "It's just... when I heard 'chicken stew' it made me wonder. She's amazing, isn't she? To fight back from a woman like that. She's a sweet girl."

"She really is," Janet agreed. "She deserves to be treated better than that."

"And we'll make sure she is," Sam said, with feeling. "Even if," she blanched at the thought, "even if we never find Cassie, I want us to stay in contact with Anna. Make sure she's okay."

"Yeah," Janet agreed. "We should do that, for sure. I want to get to know her better."

"Jan?" Sam's tone was tentative.

"Yes baby?" Janet was concerned to see the serious look in Sam's eyes.

"I want to pay Tina a visit. Tomorrow," Sam was determined. "I'm not gonna do anything stupid, sweetie, I promise. Anna's told us she doesn't want to go to the police, and I think we have to respect that. I just want Tina to know that we know what she did. I won't take any risks, I swear to you," she saw Janet was about to interrupt, "I just can't let her think that her behavior is right."

"Promise me you'll be careful?" Janet's voice wavered.

"I will, Jan," Sam's tone was confident, "I will."


	23. Chapter 23 CONFRONTATION

The next morning, Sam was up earlier than the other two; by the time Janet stumbled into the small living room, in search of her lover, Sam was sitting tapping away at her laptop.

"Hey," Sam smiled as Janet approached, hair tousled, a sleepy grin on her face.

"Hey yourself," Janet replied, "you're up early."

"Just checking out a few things," Sam replied, slightly evasively. Janet knew from her tone that she didn't want to go into detail quite yet.

"Found what you needed?" Janet asked her, lightly.

"Oh yeah," Sam replied, a satisfied look on her face. "I'll fill you in later, hon, is that okay?"

Janet nodded. "Whatever you think's best, Sam, as long as you're not doing anything dumb."

"I'm not," Sam promised, "I swear."

"That's okay, then," Janet smiled lazily, and helped herself to an early-morning kiss. "Shall I ring for coffee?"

"Please," Sam said. "Get enough for three, Anna may be up by the time it arrives."

"I'm up now," Anna emerged from the other bedroom, "and coffee sounds great to me."

"Sleep okay?" Janet deliberately kept her tone light; she was a light sleeper, and she had heard Anna get up several times in the night.

"Not bad," Anna lied, so Janet and Sam decided not to question her. It would take time, they all knew, before she would have an untroubled night. But there was one thing they had to discuss; Sam knew that Anna would be uneasy at her plans to visit Tina. Sam knew, though, that going behind Anna's back would cause more damage than telling her the truth.

"Anna," Sam started, hesitantly.

"You want to visit Tina," Anna's voice was glum.

"Yeah, I do," Sam agreed. "But I don't want to do it without your agreement."

"So if I say no, you won't go?" Anna was surprised.

"That's right," Sam agreed. "I think you'd be wrong. But the decision is yours, and I don't want to take that away from you. You are in control here, remember?"

Anna nodded.

"I'm not going to cause trouble," Sam continued, in a gentle tone. "I just want to go get some of your stuff - the things that are really important to you. And some clothes, you've got to have something to wear," she gestured amusedly at the oversized shirt and robe Anna was wearing. Anna was a fair bit taller than Janet, but still much shorter than Sam, so her garments just hung off her. "And I do want to have a talk to her, too," she wanted to be honest with Anna. "I want her to know that her behavior is not acceptable."

"But Sam," Anna was close to tears, "she's got a really bad temper. I would hate it if she hurt you. It's bad enough that she hit me, I would never forgive myself if she hurt you."

Sam smiled. "She won't hurt me, Anna," she said, softly. "Where I come from, originally that is, I've been in the military all my adult life. What I don't know about hand-to-hand combat isn't worth knowing, believe me. I'm not looking for trouble, not at all, but if she starts something, I'll restrain her. I've got these cable ties," she reached into her purse, "I always carry them. I'm hoping not to need them, but I'll have them with me, just in case."

"You haven't got a gun, have you?" Anna's voice was a whisper.

"No, Anna, I haven't. Even if they would let me carry one in this timeline, and there's precious little chance of that, I wouldn't take one with me. This is not a situation that would be helped by a firearm. I don't plan to hurt her, Anna, really I don't. I just want to get your stuff, and then talk for a while," Sam's words were sincere; she knew that retribution wouldn't help. "So what do you say? Can I go?"

Anna looked frightened. "Okay, then," she finally agreed, after a long silence. "Just promise me you won't get hurt."

"I promise you," Sam said. "I know how to look after myself."

"Go at 1.30pm," Anna suggested. "She doesn't come back from rehearsals until after 2pm on a Wednesday. That way you can collect my stuff, and have everything ready before she gets home."

"Okay then," Sam agreed, "sounds like a plan."

"Sam?" Anna's voice was tremulous.

"Yes, honey?" Sam didn't want to scare her.

"Want me to come with you?"

Sam was astounded by the bravery of the young girl; she was still bruised and battered and severely traumatized, but still she made such an incredible offer. "No, Annie," Sam said quietly, "You don't need to come. But thank you for offering, that's one of the sweetest things I've ever heard. I'll be okay, truly I will. I'll take my cell, I'll call Janet as soon as I leave the apartment. And tonight," she suggested, "what do you say we all go out to dinner, to celebrate your new life? Away from her."

Janet smiled. "I think that's a great idea sweetie," she agreed. "What do you think Anna?"

Anna nodded. "Yeah, that'd be really good."

"Is there anything in particular you want me to collect today, Annie?" Sam asked. "I'll get as many of your clothes as I can fit in the case," she gestured to the huge case she shared with Janet; she had earlier emptied it out, and it was sitting ready by the door. "But what about sentimental stuff? Anything I should look out for?"

Anna nodded again. "There's a picture of me and Iz, in a frame just by the bed. I'd really like that. And there are a few books on the shelf, if you can fit any of those in. I can replace them all, so don't worry. Though," and she smiled at a warm memory, "the copy of Pride & Prejudice that's on the table by my bed, that's one Dad gave me years ago. It's only an old ratty copy, but I'd really like it back."

"Then you shall have it," Sam replied, in a confident tone. "It'll all be okay, Annie, I promise you. I'd forgotten you were an Austen fan."

"Jane Austen?" Janet piped up. "Oh God, Anna, don't get Sam started on Jane Austen, she's nuts about her. Thank God she only wrote six books!" Janet grinned, to show that she did not, in fact, mind at all about Sam's little obsession.

"Actually, she only _finished_ six books," Sam reminded her lover. "There are a couple of unfinished novels, as well as all her juvenilia."

"I'm only kidding, Sam," Janet said, in a wistful tone. "And I knew that; the whole collection's in my bookshelf at home. And I'm so pleased that you'll be coming back with me to read them. I hated looking at them, untouched, but I couldn't bring myself to get rid of them... after," her voice hitched.

Sam kissed her gently. "Thank you for keeping them," she whispered.

"Oh shit," Anna remembered, "I didn't bring my key. You won't be able to get in."

Sam grinned. "Surely you don't think a simple thing like a lock's gonna stop me getting in, do you? I've been picking locks since I was fourteen!"

"Fourteen?" Janet exclaimed, "how come I never knew you started that young?"

"That's just one of my little secrets," Sam's grin remained firmly in place.

"You always were a woman of mystery," Janet smiled back. "I wanna know all about it later."

Sam winked, saucily.

****

"You call me as soon as you come out," Janet instructed as she kissed Sam goodbye at the door.

"I promise," Sam told her. "Don't worry, baby, it's all good."

Janet nodded. "See you soon."

Sam set off up the street. She had decided to walk rather than take a cab, reasoning that she could use the time to herself, to think out exactly what she would do and say. By the time she reached the Covent Garden apartment, she had everything straight in her mind.

As she expected, the lock presented no problems, and within minutes she had let herself into the apartment. She was astounded to see that the place was in chaos. But this wasn't ordinary mess, she realized immediately; the place had been trashed. For a brief moment, she wondered if there had been a burglary, but then she saw that the destruction was the result of fury, not larceny. As she poked around the place, she noticed that only Anna's bedroom, the kitchen and the living room had been trashed, Tina's bedroom and the bathroom were untouched. She took a deep breath, and thanked God that Anna had escaped this woman and her vile temper. She noticed an address book on the kitchen table, and found the telephone number she was looking for. She dialed the number quickly, and barked out her short message.

Sam then picked her way gingerly through Anna's room, collecting clothes and stuffing them in the big suitcase. She noticed that some of the clothes had been ripped, but was pleased that most of them remained intact. She then checked Anna's nightstand, and was saddened to see that the frame holding the photo of Anna and Izzie had been smashed. The photo, though, she realized, had not been damaged, so very carefully, she removed it from the frame, and put it between the pages of the book that Anna had told her would be on the nightstand, Pride & Prejudice.

****

Sam had just done up the catch on the suitcase, when she heard the key turn in the lock. She left Anna's room and in the corridor, came face to face with Tina.

"Who the hell are you?" Tina demanded. "And what are you doing in my flat?"

"I'm a friend of Anna's," Sam replied, calmly, "and I've come to get some of her things. I'm also here," her voice was low and dangerous, "to tell you that your behavior is not acceptable. You cannot go around treating people like that."

Tina's face turned purple with fury, and before Sam realized what she was doing, she had grabbed a vase from the table in the hallway, and flung it at Sam. Sam's reactions were good, and she managed to get her arm in front of her face to deflect it; unfortunately, the fine vase shattered as it hit her, making a deep gouge in her forearm. She looked at the seeping wound, and calmly pulled out her handkerchief, wrapping it tightly to stem the bleeding. "You're gonna wish you hadn't done that," she said quietly to Tina.

"Why? What are you going to do about it?" Tina sneered.

"This," Sam replied, and before Tina knew what had happened, Sam had elbowed her in the solar plexus, then seized her right arm and twisted it viciously behind her back. She forced her roughly into the kitchen, and slammed her down on the oak table, taking uncharacteristic pleasure in cracking her forehead on the hard wood. "You gonna co-operate now?" she asked, politely.

"Fuck you!" Tina bellowed, so Sam kneed her hard in the back, bruising the area around her kidneys. Sam knew that would cause no lasting damage, but also that it would hurt like hell. Tina screamed, and crumpled to the floor.

Calmly, Sam collected a wooden kitchen chair. Unceremoniously, she hauled Tina onto the chair and secured her to it using the cable ties. "Now I just want you to listen for a few moments," she told the furious woman. "You have to know that the way you've been treating Anna is wrong. So wrong." She went on to recount all the details that Anna had given her, including the psychological bullying as well as the physical violence.

Tina just looked up at her insolently, and spat in her face.

Without losing her composure, Sam wiped her face. "That's not all, though, is it Tina?" her voice was icy. "That's just what Anna told me. But I know more about you. A lot more. I've been watching you, and so have my associates," she decided to try and spook Tina, and the perfect way to do it she realized was by telling her things that Anna knew nothing about, that Sam had learned in her previous timeline - as well as what she had learned from hacking into UK and Polish government files that morning.

"You don't know anything," Tina hissed, "you're just trying to scare me."

"Okay, if that's what you wanna believe," Sam played it cool. "So I suppose we'll just have to assume you're not screwing Lexie from the dance troupe, and you haven't been for the last six months."

Tina's face blanched. "How in the hell did you know that?" she asked.

"We've been watching you, I told you," Sam replied.

"Who are you? What do you want?" Tina was beginning to panic.

"It doesn't matter who I am. All I want from you is an apology, an admission of what you've done. And you've done some real bad things, haven't you?" Sam's tone was dangerous. "To say nothing of what you planned to do last night." She advanced to the trash can and flipped open the lid; the chicken stew from the night before was sitting at the top of it. "You were going to feed Anna spoiled meat, weren't you? WEREN'T YOU?" Sam shouted, raising her voice for the first time.

"I'm not saying anything," Tina said mulishly. "You can believe what you want."

Sam moved her hand slowly to where her gun would have been concealed, had she been carrying one. Something about her expression made Tina believe she meant business. "Is that a gun in there?" she whispered.

"You really wanna find out?" Sam spat, "or shall we just make this easy; you tell me why you cooked that spoiled meat yesterday, and why you can't seem to be with a woman without beating her, and I'll see whether I want to use this. No lying, though. I get very angry when people lie. Tell me everything, then apologize, and then I'll leave. Without hurting you. Try lying to me, or leave something out, and I won't be responsible for my actions." Sam was appalled to realize that a small part of her was enjoying seeing Tina's fear; she knew revenge was not the answer. She also knew that the biblical saying 'an eye for an eye' was in fact a plea for proportion, and a temperate response to wrongdoing and not, as so many imagined, a demand for revenge. She jammed her hands into her pockets, so Tina would not see them shaking.

"Okay," Tina couldn't hide her fear. "I did, I tried to poison Anna. Not to kill her, not that. I wanted control of her. I wanted to remind her that she needed me. I would have looked after her, and she would have depended on me, and remembered that she can't do anything right without me. She can't, you know," her voice rose, "she never makes the right decisions. She needs a guiding hand."

"A strong hand?" Sam suggested. Tina nodded. "A strong hand that hits her, is that right?" Sam's voice was icy again.

"She just wouldn't learn!" Tina shouted. "She won't learn, I don't know what it is about her. I've never met anybody so stubborn."

"Except perhaps Alenka?" Sam said. "And Nadzia? They wouldn't learn either, would they?"

Tears sprang from Tina's eyes, and she shook her head miserably.

"In fact," Sam continued, "they were such bad learners that you had to teach them a lesson. Only they wouldn't take it any more, would they? Which is why there's an arrest warrant out for you in Poland. Nadzia was so badly scalded when you trapped her in that hot bath that she needed months of skin grafts. Is that your idea of 'education'?"

"She betrayed me," Tina muttered.

"So you ran away from Poland, came over here ten years ago. To start with," Sam went on, "you managed to control your temper. You settled well here. You became fluent in the language, made quite a name for yourself as a dancer. Never a starring role of course, but adequate for the chorus line. Reliable. Steady. And then you met Anna."

"I loved her," Tina said, her voice shaking.

"Oh yeah," Sam agreed, "so much so that you've been screwing Lexie for the past six months. What was all that about?"

Tina snorted. "Lexie? Lexie meant nothing. Lexie was just about sex."

Just then, the doorbell rang. Sam smiled, slowly. "You can tell her that yourself, she'll be real pleased to hear that. I called her earlier, told her you wanted to see her." She went to the door, and let Lexie in. "You don't need to know who I am," she said in a terse voice. "What I want you to do is just listen to this. Then you can let Tina free. Or not. Whatever you want." She pushed Lexie into a chair, so that she was directly facing Tina.

At that, she took a hidden tape recorder out of her jacket pocket, rewound the tape to the beginning. "I tried to poison Anna," Tina's voice sounded tinny on the recording, but every word was clear. "Not to kill her, not that. I wanted control of her."

Sam thought she would never forget the horrified look on Lexie's face as she let herself out of the apartment, the big suitcase in her hand.

****

Outside the apartment, Sam found her hands shaking so badly that she could hardly dial Janet's number. "It's done," her voice was weak, "I'm okay. I didn't hurt her Janet, I just scared her," and to her horror she started to weep.

"Sam?" Janet's voice was gentle. She knew playing hardball didn't come easily to Sam. Despite being a trained warrior, Sam was the gentlest, tenderest person she knew. "Are you okay?"

"M'fine," Sam lied to her lover, nausea roiling in her stomach.

"Get a cab back, baby," Janet said. "Or I can come get you?"

"I'll get a cab," Sam said, "I'll see you real soon."

"Sam?" Janet said, "I love you. With all my heart."

Sam nodded, forgetting that Janet couldn't see her. And she stumbled into the street, her face streaked with tears, looking for a cab.

Fifteen minutes later, Janet heard the door to the suite open. She jumped up, and met a white-faced, still shaking Sam as she came in. She folded her lover in her arms, shocked at the state she was in, and hugged her tightly. "What is it baby?" Janet asked tenderly. "Did she hurt you?"

"No. It's not that," Sam eventually managed to say, "I just hated who I turned in to, when I was talking to her. I can see how people become bad, if they deal too often with people like her."

"Not you, Sam," Janet said firmly, "even if you had to deal with 100 Tinas every day, you'd still be the same."

"I'm not so sure, Jan," Sam whispered. "I need to tell you..."

"I'm sure," Anna declared, emerging from her room at that moment. "Thank you Sam, for everything."

"I didn't hurt her Annie," Sam said, "you have to believe me."

"I do believe you Sam," Anna was firm in her declaration, "I know you didn't." She spotted Sam's bloodstained sleeve. "Shit Sam, looks like she hurt you, though."

"It's nothing," Sam mumbled, "just a graze."

Janet removed her jacket, and pushed her sleeve up gently. "Pretty deep graze, Sam," she said softly. "That's gonna need a couple of stitches. Makes me want to go and talk to Tina myself."

"There's no need, Jan," Sam insisted. "That's what I've been trying to tell you. I called the police. Tina's here illegally. I know Poland's part of the EU, but she's wanted by the police in Poland, so she has no right to be over here. They'll be on their way now, to pick her up. They're bound to deport her. And she's got a court case to deal with out there. She's gonna have to face up to what she's done. She won't hurt anyone else the way she hurt you, Annie," Sam reassured the younger woman. "You're safe now."

"Thanks to you Sam," Anna hugged her tightly, "you're so good to me, both of you."

"You're part of the family now, Anna" Janet said. "You're like a daughter to us."

Sam stifled a sob.


	24. Chapter 24 BOOKS

"C'mon, sweetie," Janet said gently to Sam. "Let's get that cleaned up." And she guided Sam into the bathroom, where she cleaned up her wound, and put in a couple of stitches. "Good as new," she smiled at her lover.

"Thanks, Jan," Sam said softly. "Where would I be without you?"

"Probably in the emergency room, right now, looking for somebody to give you stitches," Janet kept her tone deliberately light-hearted. This had been a difficult chapter in all their lives, she was just glad that the worst was over.

The three of them stayed in the hotel for the rest of the day, just talking and relaxing. They headed down for dinner early at 1900hrs. By 2130hrs, Anna was yawning, the emotion of the day had clearly drained the young woman. "Early night?" Janet suggested, and Anna laughed.

"Yeah," she agreed, "time for me to get my beauty sleep," she smiled. "Sleep well you two," she said. "And thank you. For everything."

Sam stood up and gave her a warm hug. "It's all over now," she whispered.

Anna nodded. "Yes, it is. Thanks to you. I'll see you in the morning."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

That night, Sam and Janet made love as they usually did. This time, however, Janet noticed that Sam seemed nervous, almost tentative. Every time she touched Janet, she would ask her if it was okay, if Janet minded, if she was making her uncomfortable, if she was happy with what she was doing. Afterwards, they lay tightly entwined, but Janet could still the tension in Sam's body.

She sat up carefully, and pulled Sam into her lap. "Sam?" she said, "are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Jan," Sam replied.

"Are you sure baby? It's just that... well, you were... different. Earlier." Janet couldn't work out how best to frame her words.

"Shit, Jan, did I hurt you?" Sam looked distraught.

"Oh Sam," Janet's heart broke at the realization of what was behind Sam's behavior. "Of course you didn't. You never have, and you never will. Is that what's upsetting you?"

Tears filled Sam's eyes. "It's just... I can't help thinking. Tina. She tried to push herself onto Anna. She hurt her. I just couldn't bear it if I ever made you feel that way Janet," Sam looked up at Janet. "If ever you don't want to do something. Or if you don't like something. You must say so, you swear? Don't ever feel you have to go along with something."

Janet took Sam's face between her hands. "Samantha Carter," she said in a firm, loving voice. "I don't ever want to hear you speaking that way. Never. You have never, not for one second, made me feel uncomfortable or out of control. You have never hurt me. Whenever you touch me, I feel only one thing - joy. Nothing else. There is no way in which your touch could ever make me feel bad. I love you to touch me, to hold me. To make love to me. It's the greatest joy in my life. You are not Tina. You could never be like her. She's a bad person, Sam, that's all there is to it. And you are not. You are the kindest, sweetest, gentlest, tenderest person. Are you listening to me, Sam?"

Sam nodded. "M'sorry," she mumbled. "I guess this has got to me more than I realized."

Janet kissed her softly. "I know, baby, I know," she murmured gently, "but it's all over now. You're okay, Anna's okay. Everything's gonna be fine."

Sam nodded. "Thank you Jan," she said, quietly.

"Think you can sleep now, Sam?" Janet asked tenderly.

"Yeah," Sam replied drowsily, "and you?"

"As long as you're here, in my arms," Janet replied. And within fifteen minutes, they were both sleeping soundly.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

The next morning, Janet was already showered by the time Sam woke up. Sam looked up blearily from the bed, and met with the sight of a towel-clad Janet emerging from the bathroom. "Hey," she said softly, "you showered without me!" She pretended to pout.

Janet laughed. "I thought I'd better, Sam," she replied, "if we're gonna get anything done today. You know as well as I do that showering together can be a little... time-consuming." She grinned, openly.

Sam smiled. "Okay, I can't argue with that," she agreed. "You'll make it up to me later, right?"

Janet grinned. "Oh yeah," she said, "I sure will!" and she winked lasciviously at her lover. Sam laughed outright.

Sam climbed out of bed and kissed Janet thoroughly. "I'm gonna hold you to that," she said, and headed off to the bathroom.

Sam was still in the shower when Janet had finished dressing, so she headed into their small living room, intending to order coffee. Anna was already there, nursing a large mug. "Coffee's just arrived," she smiled at Janet.

Janet smiled back. "You're a mind-reader," she told her, "just what I need." And she helped herself to a steaming mug of coffee, and sat down opposite Anna. She noted the younger woman's pallor and the tension in her face. "Nightmares?" she guessed.

Anna was about to brush off Janet's concern, but she could see Janet would not be fooled. "Yeah," she admitted. "I know it's going to take a while. The worst is over, I do know that."

Janet reached out and covered Anna's hand with her own. "We're here for you," she told her, "every step of the way. And you'll be seeing your mom and dad soon."

"And Izzie!" Anna brightened. Just the thought of her younger sister always made her smile. "She's so great. I can't wait to see her again."

At that point, Sam emerged from the bedroom, still rubbing her hair dry. "Damned long hair," she joked, "takes for ever to dry. I think I'll get it all cut off."

"Don't you dare," Janet cautioned. "I love your hair. If you cut it off, I'll... I'll...," she tried to think of a suitable punishment. "I'll make you cook for a month!" she announced triumphantly.

Sam grinned. "Seriously Jan, what sort of a forfeit is that? You'll suffer much more than I will, 'cos you'll have to eat it."

"Yeah," Janet agreed, "even having you bald would probably be better than that."

Sam swatted her affectionately with the towel. "Is that coffee?" she looked delighted. "You should stay with us more often Anna, you've obviously learned the importance of coffee in the morning," and she squeezed Anna's shoulder affectionately, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. She, too, had noticed her drawn look, but knew that Janet would already have talked to her about it. "So what should we do today?" Sam asked, looking expectantly at Anna.

"Why are you both looking at me?" Anna asked, laughing.

"Well, you have all the local knowledge," Janet pointed out. "You can be our tour guide."

"Actually," Anna started, tentatively, "I wanted to head to Covent Garden. No," she held her hands up, "don't worry, I'm not going to the flat. I don't want to see her." She shuddered. "No, that's the last thing I want. But I do want to see my uncle Joe, tell him what's been going on. I owe him an explanation. And I really should tell him I'm leaving!"

"You want me to come with you?" Sam asked.

"No," Anna shook her head. "It's okay, I need to do this on my own. And if I should happen to see her..." her voice shook.

"You won't, honey," Sam interrupted, gently. "I very much doubt she's still at large. The police were going to pick her up, as an illegal alien, remember?"

"Oh yeah," Anna remembered, dimly. "She's got to go back to Poland, to face the courts, hasn't she?"

"Give me a few minutes," Sam opened up her laptop. "I'll just find out if they've picked her up yet, make sure she's not gonna be around."

"How will you do that?" Anna was curious. "Surely that sort of information is only available to the authorities?"

Sam just grinned. Janet laughed. "Oh Anna, you'll learn soon enough that there isn't a computer system, or database, that Sam can't hack into," Janet was proud of her lover's abilities.

Five minutes later, Sam went up to Anna. "They picked her up yesterday evening," she told her gently, putting her hand on her arm. "I'm so sorry it had to finish that way," she realized that Anna must be experiencing mixed feelings. "I know you loved her."

Anna looked up at Sam. "Still do in a way, that's crazy, isn't it?"

"Not crazy," Sam said softly, "you can't turn it off like a tap. Are you okay, Annie?"

"I'm okay," Anna visibly pulled herself together. "It had to be done. All of it. And she should pay for what she has done, nobody should go through life without consequences."

Sam hugged her. "You're very brave," she told her.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

Later that morning, Sam and Janet went off to see some of the sights of the city, as suggested by Anna, while Anna made her way to the Covent Garden bookstore. Janet went out of her mind at some of the portraits at the National Portrait Gallery, while Sam was transfixed by the architecture of the gallery itself, as well as other buildings.

They stopped for lunch at a cafe. "You think she's okay?" Sam voiced the concern that both of them shared about Anna.

"I'm sure she's fine," Janet said, in a strong voice, reassuring herself at the same time. "She's got our cell numbers. And Tina's not around. Nothing's gonna go wrong honey, I'm sure of it."

Sam nodded. She looked at her watch. "We're meeting her in a couple of hours anyway," she smiled. "Should be fine."

Anna had indeed suggested that they meet in the underground crypt of the beautiful church St Martin's-in-the-Fields; she had told Sam that this magical space had been turned into a cafe/restaurant, and told them both that they could not leave London without seeing it. So they agreed to meet there at 1530hrs.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

"Wow!" Sam was almost speechless as she descended the stairs into the crypt at the church. "This place is incredible!"

Janet nodded her agreement. "Looks like Anna was right. My God, this is like moving back into Medieval times."

Sam consulted her guidebook. "Built in 1562. Can you imagine it?"

A figure appeared at her elbow. "You like it then?" a grinning Anna asked.

Sam hugged her warmly. "Hey," she said, "good day?"

Anna nodded. "Really good. Just hung out with Joe, talked, killed time."

"Let's get a bit pot of English tea," Janet said firmly, "since we're here. You two sit down, I'll go get it and bring it over."

They were embarked on their second pot of tea, when Anna remembered something. She picked up her backpack. "You two have been so sweet," she said, "I don't think anybody's ever been so kind to me."

Janet tried to shush her.

"No," Anna was insistent. "I mean it. With Mum and Dad away, I really don't know what I would have done the other night if you hadn't been here for me. I suppose I could have gone to Joe, but it wouldn't have been the same. You were amazing. I've got you both something, just to say thank you. It's really small, but I wanted you to know how much your friendship has meant to me."

She reached into the backpack, and passed a small parcel to Janet. "You first," she said, with a grin on her face. "It's really silly, but I thought it might make you laugh."

Janet looked at the package, picked it up, weighed it in her hands, shook it gently, and then put it to her ear. "I wonder what it could possibly be!" she laughed.

Anna laughed too, a warm, happy sound that filled Sam's and Janet's hearts with pleasure. "Okay, you got me. It's a book. Well, what did you expect? I'm a book-obsessed bookstore assistant. And I've spent the day in a bookstore."

Janet laughed. "I'm sure I'm gonna love it!" she said, squeezing Anna's hand.

"Well open it then!" Sam demanded impatiently.

"Oh my God," Janet screeched with laughter as she opened the book and flipped through the pages. "This is just perfect! I think I may re-introduce some of the techniques at the hospital! I may even try some of them out on Sam!" And in her hands was an old tome, printed in Victorian times, entitled 'Public Health in the Mediaeval Era'. "Oh my, look at this," she turned to Sam to show her one of the pages. "It suggests trepanning - drilling a hole in the skull - to cure mental disorders! You just be careful, baby," she winked at Sam, "next time you have one of your crazy ideas, I may just have found a way to 'cure' you! This is wonderful, Anna, thank you so much," Janet impulsively kissed Anna on the cheek. "You didn't need to do this, but I'm so glad you did. It's a great gift."

Anna beamed. "I'm so glad you like it. It made me laugh when I saw it, and I thought you'd enjoy looking through it."

"If she gets anywhere near me with a drill, I'm so gonna sue you!" Sam tried to scowl, but burst out laughing.

Anna reached into her backpack again. "This one's for you, Sam," she said, shyly. "You said you liked Austen, and I know you've got all her books. But I've never seen such an old copy. I hope you like it." She thrust the parcel into Sam's hands.

Sam slowly and reverentially undid the outer wrapping. Her heart was in her mouth, and as she uncovered a leather-bound copy of Jane Austen's 'Emma', she couldn't stop the tears forming in her eyes. "Oh my God," she whispered. "Oh Annie."

"What's wrong?" Anna asked, concerned. "Are you okay, Sam? What is it?"

Janet took Sam's hand. "What's going on, honey?" she asked gently.

"It's the same one," Sam's voice cracked. "From my old timeline. This is the book that Cassie bought, from you Annie. On that first day in the bookstore. She knew it was my favorite. That's what got you two together," tears were running freely down her face. "Oh Annie, this is so special. It's the best gift I've ever had."

Anna didn't know what to say. "I had no idea," she said quietly. "I'm so sorry it's upset you Sam."

Sam took her hand. "Oh it hasn't upset me, Annie," she reassured her, "it's just reminded me so much of Cassie. I'll treasure it always, I swear to you."

"We will find her, Sam," Janet said in a quiet voice. "We'll search high and low. Whatever it takes, we'll find her. We'll be a family."

Sam looked over at Anna. "We already are a family," she said quietly, "and when we find Cassie, the family will be complete."


	25. Chapter 25 ACCIDENT

"You okay?" Sam asked a nervous-looking Anna as they moved forward in the queue to check in at the airport. "I know you don't like flying. Want Janet to give you something?"

Anna shook her head. "I'm okay, Sam, thanks," she said. "I know it'll be okay. I'll just be glad when it's over!"

Sam smiled understandingly. "Fair enough. If it would help, I can explain all about what's happening when we're in the air, so you understand it all."

Anna smiled. "Yeah, that would be good," she nodded, "would probably make it less scary."

"Okay then," Sam said, "first you need to know all about how the plane stays in the air. Put in the very simplest terms, planes have to overcome gravity to fly. Gravity is a force that pulls planes toward the Earth. So in order to fly, a plane's wing must create a lifting force that is stronger than gravity. The lift is made by the air pressure over and under the plane's wing. As a plane moves forward, the air moving over the curved top of the wing travels farther than the air moving under it. It also travels faster. This makes the air pressure above the wing drop. Then the stronger pressure under the wing lifts the plane. In order to lift, the plane needs to move. The engine makes the plane move forward so it can take off. To climb, or go higher, the pilot increases the engine power. To descend, or go lower, the pilot decreases the engine power. To turn, the pilot banks the plane. Does that make sense to you?" out of the corner of her eye, Sam caught Janet smirking. "What?" she demanded.

"It's nothing, honey," Janet grinned. "It's just you. When you get started on one of your long-winded explanations. You forget that we lesser mortals have trouble keeping up with you!"

Anna joined in the laughter. Janet was right, she hadn't really understood Sam's explanation. But yet again she had seen, and understood, the close and easy relationship between Sam and Janet and it warmed her heart. Her friendship with the two women had been unexpected, but she rejoiced in it. She didn't know if they would ever track down Cassandra, and even if they did, she had no idea if there would ever be the chance of a relationship between them, but she was glad she had Sam and Janet in her life.

****

"See?" Sam took Anna's arm as they made their way down the steps of the aircraft after it had landed. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

Anna smiled; she was still a little shaken, but was happy and relieved it was all over.

"Leave the poor girl alone," Janet scolded, "you're never gonna persuade her that flying is the best form of transport. However hard you try."

Sam grinned. "Hey, you can't blame a girl for trying."

****

"So where shall I put these bags?" Anna asked as they arrived at Janet's house.

Janet laughed. "In here," she said, opening the front door. "Just sling them in the hallway, we'll unpack later. First," she said, with a grin, "first I'm gonna make us all a strong coffee. We've got to stay up for the rest of the day or we'll never readjust. Coffee should help."

Janet showed Anna round the house, and opened the door to the largest spare room. "This is your room, Anna, for as long as you want it," Janet said warmly. "I know your family will be here soon to take you away, but you'll always be welcome here, any time."

Impetuously, Anna flung her arms round Janet's neck. "Thank you," she said, touched by Janet's thoughtfulness. "I know I haven't known you and Sam long, but your friendship is so important to me."

Janet returned the hug. "We both love spending time with you Anna," she told her, "it's like a breath of fresh air in the house."

Janet left Anna unpacking upstairs, and made her way down to the living room, where she saw Sam picking through the CD collection.

"Hey," Janet said softly, not realizing Sam hadn't heard her and accidentally startling her. Janet put her hand on her arm. "Sorry," she said, "didn't mean to frighten you." She looked up at Sam's face, and was shocked to see tears forming in her eyes. "Sam?" she asked. "What's the matter, hon? Are you okay?"

Sam tried to pull herself together. "I'm fine, Jan," she whispered, "I just didn't realize you would have kept all these." She gestured to the collection of CDs, half of which she recognized as Janet's, and half of which were hers. Or to be more accurate, the 'other' version of Sam. In her previous timeline, she and 'that' Janet had the exact same collection.

Janet swallowed. "Couldn't bring myself to give them away," her voice cracked. "Couldn't listen to them either, though. How crazy is that? I used to fall apart whenever I heard any Bach played; it was just too painful. It just made me think of what I had lost. What she had gone through. How she had sacrificed herself for others. I don't know if I could listen even now."

Sam enveloped her in a tight embrace. "You don't have to listen, baby," her voice was tender. "Not now, not ever if you don't want to. I don't have to hear it. All I care about is being with you. And finding Cassie, if we can. Nothing else matters."

"Not even Bach?" Janet tried to joke.

"Not even Bach," Sam replied firmly. And she kissed Janet tenderly and led her to the couch. Janet snuggled into Sam, wrapping her arms round her waist, and lowering her head into her lap. "No sleeping, remember?" Sam nudged Janet gently. "We've got to get over the jet lag."

"No sleeping," Janet agreed dreamily. "Jus' want to hold you. For a while."

"That's okay then," Sam's eyes were closing.

****

Twenty minutes later, Anna descended the stairs, having unpacked and settled herself in. She walked into the living room, and was entranced by the sight of Sam stretched out on the long couch, Janet curled like a baby kitten into her side. Sam's strong arms were tightly wrapped round Janet, and both women were sound asleep. Her breath caught in her throat, as she realized that she would give an awful lot to have a relationship like that one enjoyed by her two new friends. She was loath to wake them up, but she knew they had wanted to stay up until the evening came, to give them a chance to readjust and to get over the jet lag. So she went into the kitchen, and made a strong pot of coffee. She took the tray and put it on the table in the living room. She went over to the couch and shook Sam's shoulder gently. "Huh?" Sam's voice was thick with sleep.

"Sorry," Anna said, "but I thought I'd better wake you. I made coffee," she smiled, "Janet said we should drink coffee to keep us awake until this evening!"

Sam grinned. She nudged Janet. "Hey, sleeping beauty," she said, and grinned as Janet blinked owlishly. "Anna brought us coffee."

Janet smiled. "Now that's the sort of house guest I like. You should come stay more often Anna!" and she sat up and gratefully took the steaming mug.

****

"You should probably call your parents, Annie" Sam reminded Anna as they ate dinner early that evening.

"I did," Anna said, "after I'd unpacked, while you two were napping!" she couldn't resist the dig. "They're going to be here in four days," she sounded excited at the prospect of seeing them again. "I can't wait for you to meet them. And Izzie. You'll love Izzie, she's wonderful."

"Are they okay?" Janet asked. "Have they been having a good time?"

"Yeah," Anna smiled, "they're all great. Izzie's loving it, says she wants to move out here permanently!"

Sam smiled. "Talking of living here permanently," she took Janet's hand, "I'm gonna talk to the authorities. I'm going to tell them I'm leaving Washington."

"What about your apartment?" Janet asked, irrelevantly.

"Oh crap, that's a point," Sam tried to keep a straight face. "How could I possibly leave the apartment? Especially for something as trivial as moving in with the love of my life. You're right Janet, I'm just going to have to stay there."

Janet grinned, and swatted her affectionately. "Okay, so that was a stupid thing to say," she looked a bit sheepish. "So you're really going to tell them you're moving here?"

"I sure am," Sam said firmly. "And if they don't like it, I'll threaten to spill the beans about the Stargate program. They won't have a problem with it. It's not like I'm moving to be near Daniel, or Cameron. They don't know about any relationship between us in my old timeline, and I'm sure as hell not going to tell them."

"So what *are* you going to say to them, Sam?" Janet asked.

"The truth," Sam said, seriously. "I'm going to tell them I'm in love. And I have to be with my lover. The most important woman in the world to me. This one's non-negotiable."

Anna grinned broadly. "That's so great!" she beamed. "You two should always be together."

"We always will be, Annie," Sam told her. "We always will be."

****

"I'm turning in," Anna said at 9pm that night. "I don't know about you two, but I'm done in."

"Sleep well," Janet called; she was back on the couch with Sam, and was too comfortable to get up. Sam waved affectionately at her.

"She's a great kid, isn't she?" Sam ran her hand through Janet's soft hair.

"Hardly a kid," Janet reminded her. "She's 27, remember?"

"Yeah," Sam mused. "Hey," she grinned suddenly, "you remember the year you hit 27?"

"I sure do, Sam," Janet's smile was slow and lazy. "That was the best year of my life. That's the year I met the love of my life."

****

"So," Sam said over breakfast three days after they all returned. "What about visiting Kathryn this afternoon? She'd love to meet you Annie."

"Kathryn?" Anna asked.

"My mom," Janet told her. "She's in a retirement complex not too far from here. I'm sure she'd really like to see you Anna, but you don't want to spend your time meeting my mom, I'll bet you've got other plans."

Anna smiled. "I'd love to meet her," she said with feeling. "If she's anything like you Janet, I'm sure to adore her."

"She's *just* like Janet," Sam grinned. "Only shorter."

"Shorter?" Anna pretended incredulity. "Surely that's not possible."

Janet grinned. "Don't let her hear you say that. She may be short, but she's pretty scary."

Sam winked. "See what I mean? Just like Janet!"

****

Kathryn was enchanted with Anna, and in her turn Anna really enjoyed Kathryn's company. "Hey," Kathryn winked at Anna toward the end of the day. "How about you break me out of here for the evening?"

Janet rolled her eyes. She knew, as well as Kathryn did, that all the residents of the retirement complex were free to come and go as it suited them. They had to sign in and out, but that was only so that in case of a fire there would be an accurate record of how many residents they would need to account for. So she knew that Kathryn was just playing with them all. "Okay, Mom," she said amusedly. "What particular plan of action do you have in mind?"

Kathryn grinned. "I thought I could take you girls out for dinner, what do you say?"

All readily agreed, and they all set off in high spirits. It was nearly midnight by the time they all returned to the home, full of food and wine (except for Sam who was driving) and good cheer.

As they all said goodnight, Kathryn hugged Anna. "You're a great kid," she told her, "come see me again sometime?"

Anna grinned. "I promise," she told her. "I'll bring Izzie next time, she'll want to meet you as soon as I tell her all about you."

****

"Mom is such a terrible flirt," Janet laughed, as she buckled up in the front seat of the car on their way back from the retirement home. "Did you see the way she was with that waiter?"

Sam smiled. "Well, it worked, didn't it?" her voice was full of humor. "We got great service, he was real attentive. She had him in the palm of her hand."

Janet grinned. "It's the old Fraiser charm," she replied impishly, "it never fails."

Sam nodded. "You're not kidding there, baby," her tone was wistful. "You Fraiser women just need to smile to get exactly what you want."

"Back at ya, Sam," Janet replied, "right back at ya."

****

By the time they got back to Janet's house, it was after one am. "I'll put the coffee on," Janet said as they got through the door, "decaff only though, don't want anybody missing out on their sleep."

"Yes Mom," Sam replied laughing, and she and Anna made their way to the living room. "Hey Annie," she noticed a cellphone on the coffee table. "Isn't this yours?" She noticed the flashing light. "Looks like you have a message."

Anna smiled. "Probably just Izzie, I'll bet she's been having fun and wants to share it with me. Mind if I listen to it?"

"Of course not," Sam kissed her gently on the cheek. She headed to the kitchen to afford Anna some privacy. "Hey baby," she said, putting a soft hand on Janet's shoulder as she poured the boiling water into the cafetiere. "Need a hand?"

"It's all done," Janet smiled, as she put got three mugs out of the closet. "Just needs to brew for a couple of minutes. Hey," she grinned, "I wonder if we can think of something to do until the coffee's ready?"

Sam grinned. "Well Dr Fraiser, I have no idea what you mean," she tried not to laugh.

Janet took Sam in her arms and kissed her very softly. "How about something like that?" her tone was teasing.

Sam laughed. "I think that might be a good place to start," she said, and pulled Janet closer to her, cupping the back of her head and kissing her more deeply.

Janet responded, and was just wrapping her arms round Sam when they heard an "oh no," from the living room, followed by a clattering sound.

"Annie?" Sam was the first to reach the distraught girl. "Annie? What is it?"

Anna was pale; she had clearly had bad news, and had dropped the cellphone on the floor.

"Come sit," Janet said firmly, and led her to the couch. The girl was shaking and almost non-responsive.

Sam picked the cellphone up from the floor. "Can we listen to the message?" she asked Anna.

Anna stared at blankly her for a few seconds, then nodded her head slightly. Sam pressed buttons on the 'phone; she played the message on loudspeaker so Janet could hear what it said too.

"Anna, darling," a female British voice spoke, probably Anna's mom, Sam guessed. "I don't want you to panic. She's going to be alright. I'm sure she's going to be alright," the voice was full of tension. "It's just Izzie. She's had an accident. We were just crossing the road," she stifled a sob, "and a car came out of nowhere. We're at the hospital. They're operating now. Said they have to pin her ankle. Can you come? She'll want to see you. Oh," she clearly remembered she hadn't told Anna where they were. "We're at the county hospital in Bismark, North Dakota. I'm going back in now," Sam heard Carolyn taking a deep breath. "So I'll have to turn the mobile off. I'll call you again when I can. I just want to be there when she wakes up. I love you Anna." The 'phone clicked off.

As Anna heard the message for a second time, a single tear tracked down her cheek.

"Okay," Sam said, taking charge of the situation. "We leave in five. I'll pack a bag for us, and for you Annie. Janet, is there any way you can find out more from the hospital? Janet was already dialing. Sam put her hand on Anna's shoulder. "We'll be there in a little under three hours," she told her in a gentle voice. "It'll all be okay, Annie."

Within five minutes, Sam had packed clothes for them all for a couple of days, and stowed the bags in the trunk of the car. Janet had gotten through to the hospital, and established that an Isabella Ross had been taken in with a bad fracture to the ankle but nothing worse, as far as anyone knew. The surgeon was still operating when they left, but Janet had found out who he was, and was greatly relieved. "He's one of the best in his field," she told Anna reassuringly, "she's in great hands. And I've left a message for them to tell your parents you're on your way."

Janet put a pillow and a blanket in the back seat of the car. "I know you probably won't be able to sleep, Anna," she told her, "but try to rest if you can. You'll need your energy when you get there. It's just a broken ankle, honey," she said gently to the shocked woman. "Izzie's going to be fine."

Anna nodded miserably. "I know," she said in a whisper. "It's just... it's Izzie, She's not used to being on her own. She hates hospitals."

"She won't be on her own," Janet reassured her, "not once she's brought back from Recovery. Your mom and dad will be with her, and you'll be there before she wakes up properly."

****

In less than three hours, the car drew up at the hospital. Janet was pleased to see that, contrary to her expectations, Anna had managed to catch some sleep. Janet had kept talking to Sam throughout the journey to help keep her alert, and passed her energy drinks she had brought from the refrigerator.

Within minutes of their arrival, the three women were outside Izzie's private room. Anna tapped gently on the door, and her parents looked up from their daughter's bedside. Anna's mother leapt up and ran out of the room; in seconds, she was hugging her elder daughter tightly. "She's okay, Anna," she said again and again, "she's okay."

Finally the two women separated. Carolyn turned to Sam and Janet. "You must be Anna's new friends," she said, gratitude in her voice. "Thank you so much for bringing her here. Thank you for everything."

Sam smiled. "We're just glad everybody's gonna be okay," she said in a warm voice. "Go to your sister, Annie. We'll be in the relatives room, let us know when she wakes up, huh?"

They watched through the small window in the door as Anna quietly let herself into the room, and settled herself on the chair next to the bed. Very tenderly, she took up Izzie's hand and stroked the fingers gently.

Carolyn turned to Sam and Janet just before heading back in herself. "I'm sorry we had to meet this way," she smiled tearfully, "Anna's told us so much about you both; I can't wait to get to know you properly."

"There's plenty of time," Janet said softly, "we'll talk later."

****

Sam and Janet curled up tightly together on the couch in the relatives room. Sam was glad that Janet had thought to bring the blanket from the car, and within minutes they were both sound asleep.

****

"So what happened Mum?" Anna asked her mother in a quiet voice. "Izzie's never had problems crossing the road."

"It wasn't her fault," Carolyn told her daughter, "the car came out of nowhere."

And she went on to recount the tale. The family had decided to stop in Bismark on their way see Anna; Izzie had never been a good passenger in the car, so they always tried to keep journeys as short as possible. They found a motel, and set out to get dinner at a nearby pizza restaurant.

Just as they left the motel, however, Roy, Anna's father, remembered that he had left his wallet in the room. He told Carolyn and Izzie to go on ahead, telling them he would meet them there. The road was not busy, but still Izzie and her mother crossed at a pedestrian crossing. They had just stepped out into the road, when a car shot out of nowhere, traveling at high speed slammed into Izzie, and then careered off.

Carolyn's voice shook as she described holding her fallen daughter in her arms, as she screamed in agony. "The ambulance came really fast though," she said. "I didn't think Izzie would let them touch her. But one of the paramedics was really sweet and gentle with her."

She told how the young female EMT approached Izzie, and put her hand gently over one of Izzie's. "Hey," she had said, "that looks kind of nasty."

Izzie looked up at her fearfully, her breath coming in short gasps as she struggle with the pain.

The EMT continued softly. "We can fix that for you, but we're gonna have to get you to the hospital. I'm just going to give you something for the pain," she was already rolling up Izzie's sleeve. "And then we're gonna get you into the ambulance," she saw the panicked look on Izzie's face. "You don't have to go alone. Your mom can come with you. There," she said as she injected her with a hefty dose of morphine. "Stung a bit, huh? That's okay, things'll start to feel a lot better now. So," she smiled at her, "you gonna tell me your name?"

"Izzie," Izzie said in a whisper.

"Okay, then, Izzie," the EMT smiled. "We're going to get a board under you, so's we don't move your ankle too much, and then we'll get you loaded on the wagon, with your mom. Is that okay?"

"Dad?" Izzie whispered. "Where's Dad?" and she looked round. At that moment, her father Roy appeared in view, his face white with anxiety.

Carolyn approached him and took his hand. "It's her ankle," she told him shortly, "nothing worse. We're going straight to the hospital."

****

"Oh Mum, Dad" Anna looked agonized. "I can't imagine how horrible that was for you."

"She's going to be alright," Roy piped up, "that's all that matters."

Anna nodded. She then heard her father's stomach rumble. "You hungry Dad?" she asked, remembering that they hadn't made it to the restaurant. "I'll go and find some sandwiches or something. I'll be back in a moment."

Only about two minutes after Anna left the room, there was a knock on the door. Carolyn looked up, assuming her elder daughter had forgotten something. She was very touched to see the face of the kind, young EMT who had been so gentle with Izzie. Carolyn smiled, and gestured to her to come in. "Hi," the girl said shyly. Carolyn estimated that she must be in her early twenties. "I'm just going off duty, and I wanted to check how my favorite patient of the day was."

Carolyn beamed. "You're so kind," she said. "She's doing really well. The operation was a complete success, she woke up briefly after they brought her up here. They say she's going to be completely fine."

The girl smiled broadly. "That's great news, I'm so pleased to hear that. She was so brave when we brought her in."

"You're so sweet to come and ask after her," Carolyn said, "you must deal with so many people every day."

"She made a real impression on me," the EMT answered, "I'm not sure why. I guess Izzie's a very special girl."

Roy smiled. "She is to us, and to her sister. Thank you so much for your caring, Miss...," he realized he didn't know her name.

"Langford," the girl replied. "My name's Langford. Cassandra Langford, though my friends call me Cassie."


	26. Chapter 26 FILLING IN THE BLANKS

At that moment, Izzie stirred. "Mum?" she looked round blearily, her voice a little frightened.

Carolyn went to her daughter's bedside. "I'm here, darling," she told her, taking up her hand. "It's okay. You're okay. You had an accident, but you're going to be fine."

Roy went to the other side of the bed, and kissed his youngest daughter gently on the forehead. "Hey," he whispered, "you're alright. We're all here with you. Anna's here too, she's just gone to find some food, she'll be back any moment."

"Want me to go find her?" Cassie asked, not wanting to intrude on this family moment. "I can tell her Izzie's woken up."

"That would be great, thanks," Carolyn replied. "First though, come over and meet Izzie properly. She's looking a bit better than last time you saw her, isn't she?"

Cassie smiled, and approached the bed. "Hi Izzie," she said in a gentle voice. "Remember me?"

Izzie looked up at her, confusion on her face. Then she remembered. "You helped me in the ambulance," she said, "you're really nice."

Cassie laughed. "I'm not nice to everybody," she winked, "only to very special patients. I'm so pleased to see you're okay, Izzie," she told her. "I'll go find your sister now, bring her back to you."

"Will you come and see me again?" Izzie asked. "I like you."

"I sure will, Izzie, if you'd like me to," Cassie replied, touched by the girl's trust in her. She knew Izzie had learning difficulties, but she could tell that the girl had a sweet, trusting heart. "I'll stick my head round the door this evening if that's okay, on my way to work. I'm working nights for the next three days."

She laid her hand on Izzie's shoulder. "You look after yourself, huh?" she said. "And I'll see you tonight, if you're awake."

Cassie exited the room, and made her way down to the cafeteria. She was half way there when, at the end of the long corridor, she saw a young woman clutching a pile of sandwiches and drinks cartons. She approached her. "Are you Anna?"

The young woman looked up, just about to reply in the affirmative when she took in the features of the girl who had approached her. "Cassie?" she asked in wonder. "Are you Cassandra?" In her shock, she lost control of her bundle of food, and the sandwiches and drinks scattered to the floor.

Cassie bent down and helped her pick them up. She was confused; as far as she could remember, she had never met Anna before. "Yeah," she said slowly, "I'm Cassie. I'm sorry," she said, "but have we met?"

Anna paled. "Hey, it's okay," Cassie told her, "sit down here," and she led her to one of the chairs that was along the corridor. "Are you okay?"

Anna nodded. "I'm okay," she said, "I just can't believe we've finally met."

"What do you mean?" Cassie was worried, she had no idea what Anna was talking about. "Do you know me?"

"No. Yes. Yes and no," Anna knew she wasn't making any sense. "Oh God, it's such a long story. And the chances are you won't believe it."

Cassie laughed gently. "You'd be surprised what I'd believe," she said wistfully. If only this girl knew anything about her history, she'd know that to be true, she reflected.

"I do sort of know you," Anna said. "I know a lot about you, anyway. And I've got two friends, one in particular, who really want to see you."

"What do you mean, you know a lot about me?" Cassie wanted to know.

"Well," Anna swallowed, "for a start, I know you don't come from Toronto."

Cassie started.

"In fact, you don't come from anywhere around here; you come from Hanka, am I right?"

Cassie gasped. "How do you know that?"

"Oh it's all very confusing," Anna was near to tears. "It's all to do with... how did Sam put it? Alternate timelines. I don't suppose you know what I'm talking about."

"As a matter of fact," Cassie said, "I do know about alternate timelines. And alternate realities. And different dimensions. At least, I know a bit about them, in theory. Catherine told me all about them. What has that got to do with you knowing me?"

"Apparently we know each other, in a different timeline. That's what Sam says. She'll be better at explaining it than I am," Anna stumbled over her words. "Sam knows you, really well, from another timeline. And she's come across from that timeline. God, am I making any sense at all?"

"A bit," Cassie looked troubled. "Look, I came to find you. Izzie's woken up, and she wants to see you. We can't stay here and talk for ever. But it sounds like you've got some things you need to talk about. We should meet, another time. Talk this out."

"Can we do that?" Anna asked, hopefully. She didn't want to frighten this young woman. "I don't want to put pressure on you."

"Sure we can," Cassie said, "you don't think I can forget about a meeting like this do you?" she tried to keep her tone light. "I'm going back to my room right now, my shift's over, and quite honestly I'm exhausted. But I'll be back in the hospital this afternoon, I usually go to the hospital library for a couple of hours before my shift starts. Can I meet you then? Maybe at 5pm, in the cafeteria? I start work at 7pm."

"Oh please, yes," Anna's words came out in a rush. "And Cassie?"

Cassie looked up.

"I'm sorry if I've startled you. It's nothing bad, I promise you. I just need to tell you what Sam told me. And then, maybe, you'll want to meet Sam, and Janet. See what you think when I've told you all I know."

"It's okay, Anna," Cassie smiled. "I'm intrigued, but I'm not freaked out. I spent the best part of eight years living with Catherine Langford, and came across some pretty freaky things. I'm gonna go now, catch some sleep. But I'll be at the cafeteria at 5pm, okay?"

"Okay," Anna nodded. "And thanks. Sleep well."

"Oh I plan to," Cassie said, "it's been a long night. Send my love to Izzie, okay?"

****

After visiting with Izzie, Anna took a deep breath. She knew she had to tell Sam and Janet about finding Cassie. She just didn't know how to say it. She knew that Sam, especially, had a lot invested in finding 'her daughter', but she also knew that once she told Sam that Cassie did exist in this timeline, and that she was so close, that it would set in motion a chain of events that could not be halted. What if Cassie didn't like Sam? Or Janet? Or she didn't want to know about the alternate timeline? She might be a very different person to the one that Sam knew.

Anna was reassured by the kindness Cassie had already shown, both to Izzie and to herself when she was upset. So she was fairly confident that the girl had a good heart. But still, it was a big risk. She knew, though, that Sam would want to know about her existence. So once Izzie fell to sleep again, she told her parents she was going to see Sam and Janet. She hadn't told them about the alternate timeline, and thought she probably never would, it was just too much to take in. But they knew how close she had become to Sam and Janet, and they also realized that these new friends were likely instrumental in extricating Anna from the twisted Tina, and for that they were grateful.

Anna let herself into the relatives room. Sam was already awake, just lying there on the couch with Janet in her arms. At the sound of the door, Janet stirred too.

"Hey," Janet said. "How's Izzie? Is she okay?"

"She's great," Anna replied, "she's gonna be fine. They've put a plate in her ankle, but they say she should recover completely. She woke up, she's sore but she's okay."

"Not too distressed?" Sam asked.

Anna shook her head. "She'll be fine, she's got Mum and Dad with her, and I had a great chat with her. She's a very brave girl. She hates hospitals, had some really nasty experiences in them when she was younger. She's amazing," Anna said, not for the first time. "I love her so much."

"We can tell," Janet smiled, and extricating herself from Sam's long limbs, she went over to Anna and gave her a warm hug.

"Is something wrong?" Sam asked, perceptively. "You look worried."

"Nothing's wrong, not as such," Anna began, nervously. She knew that it was now or never. "I just have something to tell you. And I don't know where to begin. It's all so weird."

"Well don't worry about how you tell it," Janet took her hand. "Just say what you have to say. We can deal with whatever you are worried about."

Anna looked at Sam, and took a deep breath. "It's Cassie," she said, tentatively. "I've found her. She's alive, in this timeline. She's an EMT."

Sam looked shocked. "Wha?" she asked, incoherently. "Where is she? Is she okay? What happened?"

"She's fine," Anna sat on the couch next to Sam and took her hand. "She was one of the EMTs that picked Izzie up after the accident. It's just a coincidence. An incredible coincidence. She stopped by, to check on Iz, at the end of her shift. It was really sweet of her. She seems nice, Sam. And she looks just like I dreamt. Just like she does in your picture."

"Oh my God," Sam said, tears filling her eyes. "She's here. She's really here. Can I see her? I need to see her."

"Not quite yet, Sam, if that's okay," Anna explained. "I only spoke to her for a few moments. I'm meeting her again this evening, before she goes on shift. I'll tell her everything you've told me. I've already told her that you two really want to see her. I'm sure she'll agree, once she knows what's happened."

"Did she look well?" Sam wanted to know. "Do you think she's happy? Did she tell you anything about her life?"

"She looked great," Anna reassured. "Really well, healthy, and she seemed happy from what I could tell. She was so kind to Izzie, she's clearly got a good heart. Some people find it difficult to talk to Izzie, but Mum said she was at ease with her right away. She didn't really say anything about her life, apart from going to the library before she starts her shift. And she said she lived with a... Catherine Langford for eight years. Does that name mean anything to you?"

"Oh my God," Sam said again. "Of course. If anybody knows anything about the Stargate in this timeline, it'll be Catherine. She died, a few years ago, in my timeline. I hope Cassie's not on her own here. Catherine must have found her, and taken her in, by the sound of it. Well, that's good," she brightened slightly, "Catherine was a good person, a real good person. She'll have raised Cassie well. She will have loved her."

Janet sat the other side of Sam. "It's a lot to take in, baby," she said gently. "Let's see how Anna gets on with her this afternoon. One step at a time, huh?"

Sam nodded. "Okay," she replied, in a small voice. "You're right." She turned to Anna. "You must be exhausted, Annie, you should get some sleep."

Anna smiled. "Yeah," she agreed. "I'm going to the motel for a few hours. Mum and Dad won't leave Izzie on her own, they've told me to go back for a few hours, they'll sleep tonight they say, assuming she's okay. And I'll sit with Iz tonight. You two must be tired too."

"I think we'll book into the motel too," Janet suggested. "We want to stay for you and Izzie anyway, and we can't leave now anyway, not with Cassie... around. We'll drive you there, and book in at the same time, okay Sam?"

Sam nodded her agreement. She was rather too dazed for coherent conversation. "Uh huh," she said vaguely. "Whatever you say."

****

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Janet asked Sam as they curled up in bed together. It was eight in the morning by the time they'd checked in and collected their bag from the car.

"Yeah, Jan, I'm okay," Sam said. "Just got a lot on my mind right now. I can't quite believe we've found her. What if she's different, Janet? Or if she doesn't like us? She may not want to have anything to do with us."

"You can't second-guess how she's gonna feel, baby," Janet said, gently. "Her life experience is different from the Cassie from your timeline. But it sounds hopeful Sam, it really does. From what Anna says, she's a good, kind person. That sounds like the Cassie you've described to me. And," Janet took her hand, "Anna thinks she looks happy. That's the most important thing, right? That she's happy?"

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "That's just about the only thing that matters in all this. It would be great to get to know her, to have her in our lives. But if I could just see that she's okay, and she's happy, that would be so great. I can't ask for any more than that, can I?"

Janet pulled Sam to her. "It'll all be okay, baby," she whispered in a soothing tone. "Just you wait."

****

"Did you sleep, Sam?" Janet asked her lover, solicitously, when she awoke at around 2pm.

"Not a lot," Sam admitted, "but I rested. I'm too excited Jan, this is huge, isn't it?"

Janet nodded. They had already arranged to give Anna a ride to the hospital at 4.30pm, and promised to stay in the coffee shop across the road until Anna had spoken to Cassie. They all knew that nobody had any idea of how the meeting would go, but Sam couldn't help hoping that today might be the day she saw her daughter again, even if she wasn't the exact same person she had known. Sam was also desperate for Janet to get to know Cassie. In her old timeline, Janet had been Cassie's official mom, and Sam knew she would just love her as soon as she met her.

"No guarantees," Janet said quietly to Sam as they drove Anna to the hospital. "We just have to be patient, hon, okay?"

Sam nodded, keeping her eyes on the road. "I know," her voice was husky and filled with emotion. "Just tell her we want her to be happy, Anna. That's the only thing that matters. She's got to be happy. I don't think I could bear it if she weren't."

"I will," Anna said in a reassuring tone. "I'll do all I can to let her know how much you love her."

****

Cassie was already sitting at a chair in the hospital cafeteria by the time Anna arrived. She sat at a corner table, which afforded her a good view of the corridor leading up to it, so she saw Anna before Anna saw her. Cassie was momentarily distracted by Anna's appearance. She had remembered that she was pretty from their brief meeting, but the content of the meeting had overridden such matters. In truth, she had barely slept herself since meeting Anna. In order to save money, she shared a hospital apartment with five student nurses, so her own room was cramped and there was always noise, at all times of the day and night. Usually, she tried not to let this stop her sleep, but today her mind had raced.

"Hi," she said tentatively as Anna approached. "You came then?"

Anna smiled. "Oh yeah," she said, "I don't think anything would have kept me away. Thank you for being here. You don't know what this means, especially to Sam."

"Tell me about Sam," Cassie asked. So Anna did. She told her all she could remember, that in her timeline, Sam shared parental responsibility for Cassie with her lover Janet. She was a member of the Stargate program. She regularly put her life on the line for her country and her world. She loved Janet and Cassie more than life.

It was almost an hour and a half later when Anna stopped talking. "I'll bet I got half of that wrong," she said. "But the one thing I'm sure of, there's no doubt of it at all, is that Sam loves you. And Janet from her timeline loved you too, Sam is sure that this timeline's Janet will too. If you let them. They want to meet you, more than anything. Well, one thing's more important," she remembered. "Sam says the only thing that really matters in all this is that you're happy. Are you happy Cassandra?" Anna looked up into Cassie's honest face.

Cassie took a deep breath. "Sorry," she said, after a few seconds. "I'm still processing. Yeah," she smiled slightly, "most of the time, I'm pretty happy. Sometimes things happen that suck. Catherine died three years ago, she was kinda like my adopted mom, though she was more like an eccentric aunt in a way. But I loved her, so much, and I know she loved me. So I wasn't happy then. But most of the time, things are pretty good. I like my job, a lot of the time. I'm not gonna do it for ever, though. I'm saving up, want to put myself through medical school. Catherine was great, but she never had much money, so I'm gonna have to do it for myself. But that's okay," she realized she was babbling, "we should all make our own way in the world if we can. But this job's good for the moment, and I've got some nice friends. I miss having a real family, but then nobody can have it all, can they?"

Anna took her hand impulsively. "Maybe you can, Cassie," her voice was soft.

"I should go," Cassie said reluctantly. She wanted to stay talking with this kind, beautiful girl for ever. But she had promised to stop in and see Izzie before work, and she hated breaking a promise. "I'm just going to check in on Izzie, is that okay with you?"

"Yes, that's great," Anna told her. "She said she really liked you. Said you were kind to her when she was hurting. I haven't thanked you for that yet, have I? Izzie hates hospitals, so your kindness really helped."

Cassie peered at Anna. "But you're worried about Sam and Janet, right? You want me to meet them?"

Anna nodded. "Yeah," she admitted. "But only if you want to. You'd love them, though, I'm sure of that. I've only known them a few weeks, and they've been so good to me. They've transformed my life, in fact. Things were... well, they weren't good. But they took me out of that. Sam put herself on the line for me."

"I do want to meet them," Cassie said, in a small voice. "I do. But not now, when I've only got ten minutes. I want to meet them properly. I want to make a good impression. Can you ask them to meet me for breakfast tomorrow morning? I finish work at 7am, I can be at the coffee shop across the road at 7.30am. If they want to, that is," she said.

"They'll want to," Anna said firmly. "Thank you. I was so nervous you wouldn't want to see any of us again, after all the stuff I've told you. I thought you might think I was a nutcase. Or worse."

"I've had a pretty strange upbringing," Cassie smiled, "I've learned that a lot of things that sound crazy aren't at all. And Catherine taught me to be open to new experiences. Tell Sam and Janet I'll see them tomorrow morning. You coming with me to see Izzie?" she asked.

Anna nodded enthusiastically.

"Whatever happens," Cassie told her, "I'm glad to have made a new friend. Thank you."

Anna smiled. She and Cassie would be good friends, she was sure of it.


	27. Chapter 27 MEETING AGAIN FOR FIRST TIME

"Tomorrow morning?" Sam couldn't keep the disappointment out of her voice.

"She said she wanted to meet you both properly, and that she couldn't do that in just ten minutes. She wants to make a good impression, Sam," Anna's voice was gentle. "That's got to be a good sign, hasn't it?"

Sam nodded, miserably. "I guess."

Janet looped her arm through Sam's. "It could be a good thing, honey," she peered anxiously at her lover, noting the dark rings under her eyes. "You need to get some sleep. Let's get some dinner, then we can go back to the motel for an early night. You want to be well-rested before meeting Cassie, don't you?"

"Yeah," Sam tried to smile. "Anyway, what's 12 hours? God knows we've waited long enough, another few hours won't kill me. And there's somebody else we need to meet," she tried to put some enthusiasm into her voice. "Do you think Izzie's up to a visit?" she asked Anna. "I don't want to put any strain on her.

Anna's face lit up. "She can't wait to meet you," she said, with a huge grin. "She's been talking constantly about you since I told her we'd become friends. If you're sure you're up to it?" Anna too had noticed that Sam was exhausted.

"Of course we're up to it!" Sam declared. "Lead the way!"

****

Anna let herself into Izzie's room. Her mother was sitting by the bed, and she told Anna that her father Roy had just that minute gone back to the motel to catch up on some sleep. "You should go too, Mum," Anna told her. "I'm here now, I'll stay here tonight. You go and rest, Izzie and I'll be fine together, won't we Iz?" she winked at her sister.

Izzie smiled. "Yes," she declared.

"Before you go, Mum, I want you to meet some people, properly this time. How about it Iz, are you up to some visitors?"

"Is it Sam and Janet?" Izzie asked, excitedly. She knew how much these new friends meant to Anna, and she couldn't wait to meet them.

Anna smiled. "Now just how did you guess?" she said in a mock cross voice. "You've ruined my surprise!"

Izzie laughed. "Are they here?" she demanded impatiently. "I want to ask them to sign the cast on my ankle."

"They're just outside the door, shall I call them in?" Anna asked, to which Izzie nodded excitedly.

Sam and Janet came cautiously into the room, and were overwhelmed when Anna's mother Carolyn enveloped them both in a huge hug. "It's so good to meet you properly," she told them, "I'm so sorry about last time. Anna's told me so much about both of you. You've been so kind to her."

"Not kind at all," Sam said, in a gentle voice. "She's been a breath of fresh air in our lives. We've really enjoyed getting to know her. And," she smiled at the girl on the bed, "we've been really looking forward to meeting Isabella, too."

Izzie smiled hugely. "Hello," she said, her voice slow but clear. "Which one are you?"

Anna laughed. "That's Sam, Iz," she squeezed her sister's hand, "and that's Janet," she pointed over at the shorter woman who was still talking to their mother.

"Hi Sam," Izzie said, "Hi Janet. Will you sign my cast?"

"We'd be honored. Is it okay if we call you Izzie?" Sam approached the bed. Izzie nodded enthusiastically.

"Everybody calls me Izzie," she said. "Nobody calls me Isabella. Except Mum when I've done something wrong," she smiled mischievously at her mother. She reached over to the night table, and passed Sam a thick pen. With some difficulty she pulled the covers away from her ankle.

"Nobody else has written anything yet," Sam protested.

"I know," Izzie smiled, shyly. "I want you and Janet to be the first to write on it."

Sam was very touched, and wrote "Much love to my special new friend, Sam xxx", and passed the pen over to Janet, who wrote "Hope you are up and running soon, lots of love, Janet."

Izzie smiled. "I like you," she announced bluntly to them both. "You've been kind to Anna. It's because of you she's not with Tina any more. Tina was horrible."

Anna took her hand. "She was, Iz, you're right. And you're right about how it happened, too. Sam and Janet made it easier for me to leave. Everything's okay now, I swear to you."

"You won't go back with her ever, will you Anna?" Izzie asked her sister.

"I promise you, I'll never get back with her. Whatever happens."

"Good," Izzie announced, and then yawned.

Sam took the hint. "We'll let you get some sleep, Izzie," she said, and kissed her softly on the cheek; Janet did the same thing. "Can we give you a ride back to the motel, Carolyn?" Sam suggested.

"Oh yes, that would be great, thank you," Carolyn told her, "I was going to walk, but it's nice not to have to."

****

Back in their room at the motel, Janet took one look at Sam and suggested they 'phone for take-out rather than go out for dinner. Sam readily agreed. Within 20 minutes, Janet took the bag of Chinese from the delivery boy, and the two women sat down to eat. Sam was glad to note that Janet, again, was eating enthusiastically. She was still thinner than she should be, but had filled out quite a bit since Sam found her. Soon she would be back up to normal, Sam realized happily.

"Okay," Janet said half an hour later. "Time for bed, I reckon. We're up early tomorrow, and you really do need to rest, Sam."

Sam nodded, tiredly. "You too, baby," she said.

"I've slept some already, I don't think you have at all. C'mon," and Janet took Sam by the hand and pulled her to her weary feet. She wrapped her arms round her, embracing her firmly. "Go wash up, I'll clear these away," she gestured to the empty take-out boxes.

When Sam returned five minutes later, all the mess had been cleared up, and her nightshirt lay ready for her on the bed. "You're amazing, Jan," she said gratefully. "I love you so much."

"Sleep," Janet said softly, helping her out of her clothes and sliding the nightshirt over her head. "I'll be right back."

Within a few moments, Janet had returned from the bathroom, already changed into her pajamas. She climbed in the bed next to Sam, and snuggled up to her. Sam turned to face her, and pulled her into her arms. "Everything's okay just as long as you're here, baby," her voice was muffled.

"Right back at ya," Janet kissed her softly. "Sleep now sweetie."

****

At 5.30am the next morning, Janet awoke, and realized the bed was empty and cold next to her. "Sam?" she called, but there was no answer. She got up and looked in the bathroom. The shower was wet and the towel was damp, so Sam had obviously showered recently. Janet shrugged on her robe, and let herself out of the room. The room opened onto the veranda overlooking the parking lot, and she was relieved to see Sam sitting not far away on the steps, the early morning sun on her face. "Hey," Janet called quietly. "You okay there?"

"Hey Jan," Sam replied. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just didn't want to wake you, you know how I can be in the morning, crashing around the place."

Janet looked closely at her, and was saddened to see that Sam still looked exhausted. "Get much sleep?" she asked, keeping her tone light.

"A bit," Sam replied evasively. "So, today's the day, huh?" she said, changing the subject.

"Yeah, it really is sweetie," Janet sat down next to Sam and laid her head on her shoulder. "You ready for it?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," Sam told her. "How about you baby? How are you doing with all this? It must be weird for you, you didn't know Cassie from the other timeline." Sam looked deep into her eyes. "You really were an incredible mom, you know that?"

"I'll bet you were too, Sam," Janet replied. "And I hope you will get the chance to be again."

Sam's eyes filled with tears. "That's the sixty-four-thousand dollar question, isn't it, Jan?"

Janet put her arm round Sam and hugged her tight. "I'm gonna get showered and dressed, Sam. You need anything?"

Sam shook her head. "No, I'm good," she smiled. "There's no hurry, Jan, we've got plenty of time."

By 6.15am, Janet was showered and dressed. "Hey Sam," she suggested, "since we're both ready, how about we go see Anna and Izzie before we meet Cassie? Anna may even want to join us at breakfast with Cassie, that might make it easier for her, since she already knows Anna a bit. What do you think?

Sam nodded. "I think that's a great idea. We'll ask Annie what she thinks."

Less than half an hour later, Sam gingerly opened the door to Izzie's room, being careful not to wake its occupants. Anna and Izzie were already awake, however, and were talking animatedly.

"Hi Sam!" Izzie's face lit up with a huge smile.

"Hey Izzie, how are you this morning?" Sam replied, as she stepped into the room, followed by Janet.

"I'm okay," Izzie said. "I want to go home though."

Anna reached over and put a reassuring hand on her arm. "I know you do, Iz, and we'll get you out of here as soon as we can. They say they need you here for at least another ten days though. And then it'll be a few weeks before you can fly."

Izzie looked glum.

"Hospital food getting to you?" Janet winked at her. "We'll have to see if we can sneak some take-out to you."

"Is that allowed?" Anna asked, incredulously.

"It is if you know who you need to get on your side on the nursing staff," Janet grinned. "Leave it to me, I've always found it easy to get the nurses to agree with my suggestions."

Izzie grinned back.

"So how are you feeling about your meeting?" Anna was perceptive, and could see that Sam was wired, despite her attempts to appear relaxed.

"I can't wait," Sam admitted. "But I'm still terrified. Suppose it doesn't go well? Suppose she doesn't like us?"

Anna smiled at Sam. "There's no chance of that," she said, gently. "She'll love you as soon as she meets you."

"Annie?" Sam realized she was nervous just asking the question. "I don't suppose you want to join us? We just thought it might be easier for Cassie, as she's met you already."

"I'd love to, Sam," Anna said. "Mum's due here any minute."

"It's okay, Anna," Izzie's voice interrupted. "You don't have to stay until she gets here. I know she's on her way over."

"Are you sure, Iz?" Anna asked her sister. "I don't want you to be scared on your own."

"I'm okay," Izzie said. "Will you stop in and see me after your breakfast though?"

"Of course I will," Anna told her. "I won't be too long Iz." And she bent down and hugged her sister gently. "You've been so brave. I'm very proud of you."

****

"Another coffee?" Sam suggested, looking at her watch for the third time in as many minutes.

"I'll get them," Janet told her, "and decaff for you this time, you don't need any more caffeine." She looked sternly at Sam, who had opened her mouth to protest. "Hold your hand out," she said, firmly. Sam did so, and was dismayed to see that her hand was shaking slightly, and she didn't seem to be able to do anything to stop it. "Exactly," Janet said. "Decaff. No, scratch that, I'll get you camomile."

Sam smiled ruefully. "Thanks, Jan," she said.

Janet returned a few minutes later, with coffees for her and Anna, and a camomile tea for Sam. Sam was looking at her watch again. "She's only two minutes late, baby," she said quietly, "and you know an EMT's shift can overrun, it's not like they can leave a patient half-way through."

Sam nodded. "I know," she said. "It's just... I want to see her."

"I know you do, Sam," Janet's voice was soothing. "And it won't be long now."

"No it won't," Anna's voice interrupted them. "There she is." And she waved over to Cassie, who had just entered the coffee shop and was looking round her. She approached the table, and Anna stood up and gave her an impulsive hug. "Cassie," Anna said, "thank you for coming. This," she pointed to Sam, "is Sam. And this is Janet."

"Hi," Cassie said, shyly, and held out her hand, which Janet shook warmly.

Cassie turned to Sam, and stuck out her hand again. Sam took it in both of hers, and looked up at Cassie. "Oh my God," she said, her voice cracking, "you're really here."

"I really am," Cassie's voice was almost as emotional. "Thank you for seeing me."

"Oh God no," Sam said. "Thank you for seeing us. This is incredible. You look amazing."

Cassie had dressed with care; somehow she knew that Sam and Janet were going to be very important in her life, and she wanted to make a good impression. So she was wearing a casual skirt and blouse, but everything was freshly pressed. And she had made an effort to put on a light make-up, which she rarely did, and was wearing light, delicate earrings.

Cassie smiled. "This is weird, huh?" she said. "Anna told me all about the timeline thing. Catherine had told me about how that could happen, but to be honest, I thought that was just Catherine being... Catherine."

"Catherine Langford?" Sam asked. "She brought you up, right, when you came over from Hanka?"

Cassie nodded. "Yeah, she was real good to me. She and her friend Daniel."

"Daniel Jackson?" Sam couldn't believe her ears.

"Yeah, do you know him?" Cassie asked.

"Like a brother," Sam said. "At least, my timeline's version of him. He came over with me, actually. He lost a leg, but he's doing real well. We thought he was going to die, so it could be worse."

Janet interrupted gently. "How about Anna and I get us some more coffee - and camomile?" she suggested, with a smile. "And something to eat? And then maybe Cassie can tell you what it's been like for her since she came to Earth. And then you tell her what it was like in your timeline. Then you'll both understand each other better."

Sam nodded her agreement. "Is that okay with you Cassandra?" she spoke her name for the first time. "Can I call you Cassie?" she didn't want to take any familiarity for granted.

"Oh please do," Cassie smiled. "That's what everybody calls me. Except Ernest, he always called me Cassandra. Okay, I'll start then, shall I?"

Sam nodded.

"You know about Nirrti, right?" Cassie asked. Sam nodded again. "Well she basically destroyed everything, I think she killed just about everybody on Hanka."

"She did, Cassie," Sam said, gently, "at least in my timeline. You were the only survivor."

"I thought that was what had happened," Cassie face was full of sadness. "And it's a sheer fluke I survived. I was running from the town, I'd just seen my mom die," her breath hitched. "I didn't know what to do. So I just ran. And I saw the Stargate. I'd seen it before, of course I had. But I didn't really know what it was. And it was active, for the first time ever. I'd never seen that before, and I was so scared. But something drew me to it, to this day I don't know why I did it. But I stepped through it."

"You were all alone?" Sam's heart broke for this poor child who had seen everything and everyone she cared about destroyed.

Cassie nodded. "I just couldn't think what else to do. But as soon as I arrived, I regretted it. It was freezing, ice everywhere. I don't think I've ever been so cold. I thought I was going to die. And if I'm honest, I gave up then. I fell to my knees, and just started to cry. I don't know how long I'd been there, about half an hour, I'd guess, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Daniel. I didn't know that then, of course, but I didn't care. It was another person, and he had a kind face. And he was warm, and caring. He picked me up, and carried me out of ... well, it was a kind of cave. And he took me to a truck on a dirt track. There was snow everywhere, and fencing. I know now that it was a military base in Russia. Then I didn't know, and I didn't care. I was so cold, I just wanted to get warm. So when Daniel passed me to an older woman in the truck, and she wrapped me in a blanket, I just clung to her. That was Catherine, of course. Somehow, they got me out. Daniel's fluent in Russian."

"And 22 other languages," Sam smiled. "Go on."

"I'm still not sure how they did it, but they got me out of there, and down to the docks. They smuggled me onto a cargo ship, and we all hid there for two days before it left. I don't remember too much about that time," she admitted. "I think I was in some sort of shock. I do know I didn't speak for nearly a week. I was so frightened, I didn't know I was on a different planet, and I didn't understand why we were hiding. And then it got worse. The ship left the dock, and I was so seasick, for days and days. They looked after me, they were real sweet with me. But I just wanted my mom."

"Oh Cass," Sam was so sad to hear what her daughter had gone through. "I'm so sorry, you must have been so frightened."

"I was," Cassie said. "But it got better. Eventually, we docked in New York. Then we had to travel by train. That was scary too," she grinned bashfully, "I'd never seen anything like a train. I thought it was some kind of monster. Finally, we arrived in Washington. And Catherine's friend Ernest had friends in high places, so he managed to get me some papers, birth certificate, all that sort of thing. So Catherine looked after me. Said I was her niece's daughter, and that my parents had been killed in a car crash in Toronto where we lived. It was hard, to start with. But Catherine was amazing, she loved me and made me feel wanted."

"She died, though, huh?" Sam's voice was gentle.

"Just over three years ago, Ernest just over a year before" Cassie looked stricken. "And I was lost without her to start with. But I'm okay now. I moved here a couple of years ago. And that's it, really."

Janet and Anna returned, with a trayful of drinks and food. "Are you two okay?" she asked softly. "Want us to give you some privacy."

As one, Sam and Cassie both said "no, I'm okay," then laughed.

Janet sat back down next to Sam, and took her hand in hers.

"Your turn," Cassie said. "I want to hear what happened in your timeline."

Sam took a deep breath. "Well, it's not all that different," she said. "It was the same on Hanka, Nirrti destroyed everything. She didn't care that you were just a little girl, she just took away everything that you cared about, just so she could experiment on the population. The difference is that we arrived just as that had happened. We being me, Daniel, Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c. In that timeline, I was part of a military team, and we used the Stargate to explore other worlds, to try and get new technologies, and to learn about other cultures. So we had been talking to the elders of Hanka, trying to get to know the population."

"Did you know my mom and dad?" Cassie asked eagerly.

Sam shook her head sadly. "No, honey, I didn't. Not as far as I know. I had certainly never seen you before, not before we saw you in the bushes. To cut a long story short, we found you and brought you back with us. And because my work was so dangerous and unpredictable, Janet adopted you. But we brought you up together. Janet and I, well we're together," she said shyly, "and we were in that timeline too. Though Janet here is from this timeline."

"I guessed you were together," Cassie smiled, "the way you are with each other."

"When I came to this timeline, nothing made sense until I found Janet again," Sam said. "And then I knew we had to find you. I had no idea that we actually would. So when you picked up Izzie, it was like it was meant to be."

"So you two were my moms?" Cassie asked.

"Apparently so," Janet replied, "though this is the first time I've actually met you. Does that make sense?" Janet asked.

"Kind of," Cassie replied. "It's a lot to take in."

"You should tell her, Sam," Janet prompted Sam gently.

"What?" Sam asked.

"About what happened. The bunker, everything. She'll want to know." Janet's voice was soft.

"What happened?" Cassie asked.

Sam reached over and took her hand. "It was awful," she said, her voice not much above a whisper. "Just when we thought Nirrti had done her worst, we found out she had used you. Like a guinea pig. That bitch," she spat, "thought it was okay to use you as some sort of Trojan Horse."

"What did she do Sam?" Cassie was almost afraid to ask.

Sam inhaled sharply. "She made a kind of bomb inside you. She made it so that if you stepped back through the Stargate, it would explode, destroying our base and miles around. We had to find a way to stop it happening. We couldn't operate, it would have killed you. And," Sam stifled a sob, "as far as we could tell, you only had a couple of hours before it would go off."

"What did you do?" Cassie's voice shook.

"We took you to an abandoned nuclear bunker," Sam told her. "You were unconscious by then, thank God. I took you down 30 floors, through solid rock. I was ordered to leave you in a room down there, and to come back up in the elevator."

"Oh God Sam, how awful for you," Cassie said. "Why did they make you do it?"

"They didn't," Sam said, "I wanted to take you. I didn't want some strange airman taking you down. I wanted to do it myself."

"But I didn't die?" Cassie asked. "I mean, I couldn't have, not if you were looking for me here."

"No, you didn't die. But you did wake up in the elevator on the way down. But I was a good soldier," Sam's voice was bitter. "I locked you in that cell, and got back in the elevator. But then, as it started to move upward, I realized that you had woken up, and that there was a good chance that it was only proximity to the Stargate that made the device inside you into a bomb. So I went back down."

"Just before it was due to go off?" Cassie asked.

"Three minutes before," Sam admitted. "But I didn't think it would explode."

"But it could have? You didn't know for sure it wouldn't?" Cassie was astounded at the bravery of the woman she had just met.

"No," Sam said. "I couldn't be sure."

"Shit, Sam," Cassie said, "what would have happened if it had gone off?"

"You wouldn't have been alone," Sam said simply. "And right then, that was all that mattered."

She looked up, and saw tears coursing down Cassie's face. "I can't believe you did that for me," Cassie said through her tears. "That's the bravest thing I've ever heard."

Sam was crying too by this point. "So where do we go from here?" Janet asked in a soft voice.

"I'd really like to get to know you both. All three of you," Cassie said. "If that's okay."

"Yeah," Sam said, her voice cracking. "That's okay. That's very okay."


	28. Chapter 28 FRIENDSHIP

"I'm real tired," Cassie admitted. "It's been a long night. I've really got to get some sleep. But maybe we can meet for breakfast again tomorrow? If you'd like to?"

Sam smiled widely. "I'd love to. We'd love to. Wouldn't we Jan?"

Janet smiled her agreement. "We sure would," she agreed. "Same time, same place?"

Cassie nodded, enthusiastically, and got up to leave. She hugged Anna, Janet and Sam. "Thank you," she whispered in Sam's ear. "Thank you."

****

Anna, Janet and Sam headed back to Izzie's room; they knew she was keen to know how it had all gone. Sam was so tired that she was happy for Anna to fill Izzie and Carolyn on all that had happened, though she warned her not to say anything about the Stargate, or Hanka. So Cassie became merely somebody Sam had known when she was much younger, and with whom she was keen to re-establish a relationship.

After less than an hour, Janet made their excuses and led Sam to the car. "We'll stop for lunch on the way back," she told her, "then it's straight to bed for you. You haven't slept properly in days, Sam," she said as she saw Sam about to demur.

"Okay, Jan," Sam said quietly. She knew that Janet was right, she hadn't been so tired for longer than she could remember. Nor had she felt so happy. She had no idea where the relationship with Cassie would go, but their 'first' meeting had gone just about as well as she could have hoped. She put her hand on Janet's right hand, which was resting on the gear shift. "She's just great, isn't she baby?"

Janet smiled warmly. "She's just as you described her, Sam, she's real sweet. She liked you too, I could tell. A lot."

****

They finally got back to the motel room just after 2pm, and Janet pushed Sam towards the bathroom. "You wash up first, honey," she told her lover, "I'll be right behind you."

After a few minutes, Sam emerged. "Bathroom's free," she told Janet.

Janet washed quickly and brushed her teeth. When she came out of the bathroom, she saw that Sam had changed into her pajamas, but was still sitting on the edge of the bed, looking a little lost. She sat down next to her. "Hey, sweetie," she said softly. "You okay? Ready to sleep?"

Sam looked up at her. "Not quite yet," she said in a quiet voice, and pulled Janet into a firm kiss. When she started fumbling at the buttons on Janet's shirt, Janet pulled back slightly.

"Sam," she said gently, "you're exhausted. You need your sleep, baby."

Sam looked at her with her impossibly blue eyes, a deep, penetrating look. "I want you to make love to me," her voice was not much above a whisper. "I need you, Jan. I want to feel you. All of you. Please, honey?"

Sam looked so distraught and lost that Janet's heart melted. "Okay, baby," she said, "whatever you need. Sleep after though, huh?"

Sam nodded enthusiastically. Janet laughed softly. "I don't think I could ever refuse you anything, Sam," she said, "one look at those eyes of yours, and I'm lost." She reached up for a kiss, and then pulled her own shirt over her head. "I love you Sam."

"I love you too, hon," Sam's voice was husky. "More than you can ever imagine."

****

As they lay in each other's arms later, Sam turned to Janet. "Was that okay, baby? I didn't push you into anything you didn't want to do, did I?"

Janet laughed. "No, sweetie, you didn't. I can't imagine ever not wanting to make love to you. It's never anything less than exquisite. You're just amazing, Sam. Think you can sleep now?"

"Oh yeah," Sam's voice was drowsy, and her eyes were already closing. "Just s'long as you're with me."

"I'm not going anywhere, Sam," Janet snuggled up close to her lover.

****

Both Sam and Janet slept solidly all night, waking refreshed and happy just before 6am. Janet woke just before Sam, so when Sam struggled back to consciousness, she could see Janet's smiling face. "Hey," she called softly, "what'cha doin?"

"Looking," Janet replied. "At you. D'you mind?"

Sam grinned. "Not in the least," she told her, "though I can only guess what a mess I look!"

"You look perfect to me, Sam," Janet replied, "just perfect."

Sam smiled again, and kissed her very softly on the lips. "That makes us a good pair then, sweetie," she said.

****

By 7am, they had arrived at the hospital, and let themselves into Izzie's room, where they met up with Anna again. "I don't think I'll come this time," Anna said, in reference to the breakfast with Cassie. Sam's face fell. "No, it's nothing bad Sam, I swear," she said hurriedly. "I just think you and Janet need some time alone with Cassie, you don't need me along. Anyway," she grinned bashfully, "I'm meeting her tonight. She suggested we go ice-skating. It sounds like fun. You should come along."

Sam smiled affectionately at her new friend. "Oh no," she said, "I think maybe Cassie wants to get to know you properly too, Annie. Anyway, can you imagine Janet on the ice, with her little legs? She'll never keep up!"

Janet gave Sam a mock scowl. "Just you wait," she told her threateningly, "I'll get you back for that."

****

"Nervous?" Janet asked Sam as they sat in the coffee shop, ten minutes early for their breakfast with Cassie."

"A bit," Sam admitted. "Not as much as yesterday. She wanted to see us again, that's got to be a good sign, huh?"

"A real good sign," Janet said in a reassuring tone. "She's a real sweet girl."

"She is, isn't she?" Sam agreed. "I just hope she's happy. She must have been lonely after Catherine died. I hope she's got some good friends. Nobody should be totally alone."

Janet took Sam's hand and brought it to her lips. "No, baby, we all need somebody."

Sam smiled warmly at her lover. "Thank God I found you," she said, with feeling.

****

"So what brought you to Bismark?" Sam asked Cassie, as they embarked on their third coffee of the morning. "In my timeline, Catherine lived in Washington most of her adult life. Did she move here?"

"No," Cassie said. "We did live in Washington, though we would visit New York from time to time, as Catherine had spent quite a lot of time there when she was younger. I moved here after she died."

"So why Bismark? What is it about North Dakota that appealed to you?" Sam was curious.

Cassie blushed slightly. "Nothing, really," she admitted, "not about the area in particular. You know I'm gay, right?" she looked bashful.

"You are in my timeline," Sam said, "so I kind of assumed you probably were."

"Well, I met a girl, just after Catherine died. I was in a mess, pretty screwed up I guess. For a while, it seemed to me that whenever I got close to somebody, they died, and I was all alone again. Even Daniel had gone out to Egypt, he was pissed with being treated like an outcast. His theories had been trashed, and he lost all credibility. So he was gone too. I was wasting my life, really; working the odd job here and there, drinking too much, staying out late, not taking any responsibility for anything. And then I met Rose. It was never a great love affair," she explained. "But I was lonely, she was lonely, and we just kind of gravitated together. She helped me see that everybody has to deal with shit in their lives, and we have to just get on with it."

"So what happened?" Janet asked gently.

"Rose told me it was time I stopped sulking because I didn't have a real family, and because I didn't have the money to train as a doctor. She was an EMT herself, and she told me I could do much worse than train as one myself. She told me straight, if I was that keen to become a doctor, I should get off my ass and start earning some money, start saving up. She was about to transfer here, for a year, and she asked me to come with her. We both knew it wasn't really going anywhere, and that we wouldn't be together for long. But she was good to me; she was kind and understanding. And we were good together for a while. We had fun. But when she transferred to Salt Lake City, we both knew it was time to end it. I have very fond memories of Rose, she helped turn my life around really. We're still in touch, send cards at Christmas, birthdays, that sort of thing."

"So you decided to stay here?" Sam asked.

Cassie laughed. "Not really, I just haven't yet decided where I want to settle. There's nothing holding me here, really. I just need to work out where I want to be. That's one good thing about being an EMT, I can transfer to pretty much anywhere I want."

"Are you happy, Cass?" Sam asked, dreading the answer.

Cassie looked her straight in the eye. "Sure, I've got a good life; I'm healthy, and I enjoy my job. I've got a few friends, nobody real close right now. But I'm optimistic, and one day I hope to find someone special. Yeah, things are okay."

"But they could be better, huh?" Sam said.

Cassie snorted. "Things can always be better," she said, "but they could be so much worse. I'm pretty fortunate really. I do miss being part of a family," she admitted sadly. "But maybe I can find my own family?" she looked up hopefully at Sam and Janet.

Sam swallowed. "There's nothing we'd like more than you to become part of our family Cassie. I know it's far too early to ask you to make any decisions about that," she said, "but we'd both love it if you could be our... kind of 'surrogate' daughter. If you'd like that. One day," Sam knew she was gabbling now. "Sorry," she said, "I don't want to put any pressure on you. But we'd both really like to get to know you, to spend time with you."

Cassie took her hand from across the table. "That sounds great to me, Sam," she said, struggling to contain her emotions. "I mean, I don't know how it's going to be, how we're gonna get on. But I really want to get to know you both properly. At least to be friends." She tried to stifle a huge yawn. "Sorry," she grinned, "we had a busy night."

"When do you finish nights?" Janet asked.

"That was my last night for a couple of months," Cassie said, the relief evident in her voice. "Some people don't mind nights, I hate them. I find I can never sleep, even when I know I should. I've got three days off now," she said cheerfully. "Anna and I are going ice-skating tonight. Hey," she had a sudden idea. "Why don't you two come?"

Sam shook her head, laughing. "No, you two go," she said, and winked at Janet.

"What's so funny?" Cassie demanded.

"We had this conversation earlier, in the hospital, with Anna," Janet told her with a smile. "And Sam very rudely suggested that I'm too short to be any good at skating. What she forgets," Janet grinned, "or maybe it's different in your timeline Sam?" she wondered, "is that I used to figure skate semi-professionally, as a teenager."

"You're kidding!" Sam gasped. "That's certainly something I never knew! So why did you stop, Jan?"

Janet grinned again, bashfully. "I had to give it up," she said, trying not to laugh. "Don't laugh, but I was... I was... too short!"

Sam and Cassie exploded with laughter.

"I'll bet I can still beat you round a rink," Janet's tone was threatening.

Sam held her hands up in surrender. "I'm sure you can, sweetie; after hearing that about you, I'm not going to be issuing any challenges!"

"So when do you have to get back to Montana?" Cassie wanted to know.

Sam's face darkened. "We're going back tomorrow," she said sadly. "Janet has to get back to work; she's already had too much time away. And I have to talk to the authorities, about my moving from Washington. Lots to do. But we'll come back, Cassie, just as soon as we can. And maybe you could come stay with us? Come for a weekend, or something."

"That'd be great," Cassie said. "I'd really like to do that. I don't want to leave here until Izzie's out of the hospital, though. I promised her I'd visit her every day, and I don't want to let her down. Anna says she's had bad experiences in hospital, too many tests when she was a kid. So I want her to know she can trust me. She's going to be released in nine days' time, I think."

Sam was moved greatly by the girl's caring nature. "Some time after that then?" she suggested.

Cassie nodded, enthusiastically. "That'd be great," she said again.

Janet had a sudden thought. "They won't let Izzie fly for at least a couple of weeks after she's released, right?" she asked Cassie.

"Two to three, depending on how she's doing," Cassie confirmed. "But her mom's going to stay. Her dad has to go back to England next week, he's got work things he needs to do. But at least Izzie'll have Anna and her mom."

"And you," Sam said.

"Yeah, and me," Cassie grinned, "just for a while."

"How about we ask them to come stay with us after she's released?" Janet suggested to Sam. "We've got three bedrooms, and we can clear out the study downstairs, so Izzie doesn't have to climb the stairs. What d'you think Sam?"

"I think that's a great idea," Sam agreed, "we can head back to the hospital after breakfast, see what they think. Carolyn and Roy should be there by now, shouldn't they? I hope they agree."

****

Soon it was all settled. Izzie, Carolyn and Anna would come to stay in Janet's house as soon as Izzie was released. And Sam fixed it with Cassie that she would be back for two days in a week's time, which would coincide with Cassie's days off. And then, Sam hoped, Cassie would visit regularly when Izzie was staying with them. She thought that perhaps she could detect an attraction between Cassie and Anna, though she knew it was very early days. She knew, too, that Anna needed some time without a partner, to allow her to heal from the terrible time she had had with Tina. But one day, Sam hoped, one day, they might all be together. At very least, she could see that Cassie and Anna would be good friends. She prayed that she, and Janet, would also be able to develop a close relationship with Cassie, and to be a proper family. One day.


	29. Chapter 29 TRANSFER

"C'mon, Annie," Sam said loudly, "pass those potatoes down before Janet eats them all," and she laughed.

Anna picked up the huge dish of potatoes and passed them to Sam, while Janet gave her lover a mock scowl. "Enough left for you?" Janet joked; there were almost enough potatoes to feed an army, as Sam well knew. Janet had, as usual, over-catered for the group, but she wanted the first Sunday lunch after Anna, Izzie and Carolyn came to stay to be a special one. So she had pulled out all the stops, and Sam knew that they would be eating leftovers for weeks to come.

The atmosphere at the table was light and fun, and everybody was enjoying themselves hugely. The visitors had been in the house for three days now, and had settled in well. Carolyn and Anna had the two spare bedrooms, and Sam had converted the study downstairs into a small bedroom for Izzie. There was a small shower room downstairs next the kitchen, so Izzie didn't have to contend with the stairs on her crutches.

"Are you that hungry?" Izzie asked Sam, in amazement.

Sam laughed. "No, Iz, I was just playing. I think Janet's made enough food to feed everybody in the road."

Izzie grinned. She loved watching the warm, easy relationship that Sam and Janet had. It reminded her of her parents, who even after so many years together still made each other laugh. She was missing her father, who had had to return to England just before she got out of the hospital, but she had been made so welcome by these new friends that she didn't mind too much. And she knew they would all head back in just under two weeks, and that time would just fly by.

As Sam and Janet bantered about the food, the doorbell rang unexpectedly. "I'll go," Janet said, "we can't have you being distracted from your potatoes, can we Sam?" and she grinned evilly.

Janet was still laughing when she opened the door. She was delighted to see Cassandra standing on the doorstep. "Cassie!" she exclaimed. "I thought you were working today?" They had already invited her to join them for lunch, but Cassie had regretfully had to turn them down.

"I swapped shifts with Joe," Cassie smiled. "I didn't want to miss the party."

"Well come in!" Janet pulled her over the threshold, and enveloped her in a warm hug. "You're just in time to try and wrestle the potatoes from Sam!"

"Who is it, hon?" Sam called from the table.

"Come see for yourself," Janet replied.

In seconds, Sam had her arms round Cassie and was hugging her tight. "You made it!" she said, delightedly. "I didn't think you'd be able to come."

"I couldn't resist Janet's cooking," Cassie said, with a shy smile.

"Well obviously it's not as good as mine," Sam said laughing.

"Yeah, right," Janet snorted. "There's a reason she's not allowed in the kitchen, Cassie," she told her. "If she did the cooking, we'd need you here on a professional basis."

Sam laughed. "It's true, I'm afraid," she said. "Come, sit. Annie, move up, Cassie can squeeze between you and Izzie."

Izzie beamed. "Hi Cassie," she said, with a smile. "I'm so pleased you came."

Cassie dropped a kiss on the top of the girl's head. "Me too, Izzie," she said, "I would have hated to miss this feast. Hi everyone," she waved shyly at Carolyn, and smiled at Anna.

Janet returned from the kitchen with an extra plate and cutlery. "Help yourself, Cassie," she instructed. "God knows there's enough here."

The meal continued, with much laughter and teasing. Finally, when they were all full, the group migrated to the living room, where they made themselves comfortable on various couches and chairs; Cassie claimed the large cushion on the floor. "Coffee?" Janet asked, and headed toward the kitchen.

"I'll just go and help Janet," Sam told the others.

"I thought you weren't allowed in the kitchen?" Anna grinned.

"She lets me in sometimes; as long as I promise not to cook," Sam laughed. "Though she won't let me bring in any engine parts to clean on the table any more." She pouted, comically, winked and left the room. As she entered the kitchen, however, her jovial mood evaporated, as she saw Janet, with her back to her, holding on to the kitchen side, her shoulders shaking. "Jan?" she spoke quietly.

Janet turned to her, tears streaking her face.

"Oh baby, what is it? What's wrong?" Sam asked, moving swiftly to take her lover in her arms. "Has something happened? Are you okay?"

Janet sniffed. "M'fine," her voice was muffled. She pulled away slightly and looked up into Sam's face. She smiled, embarrassed. "I'm more than fine, Sam. It's just that," she pointed toward the living room, "it's so much like a family. It made me so happy to see everybody together, having fun, acting like a real family. And you, at the head of the table. It's just how it should all be."

"Oh sweetie," Sam pulled Janet to her again, holding her tight. "It is a real family. Just a slightly unconventional one. There's more to family than blood, you know."

"I do know that, baby," Janet replied. "It's just so great to see everybody getting along, enjoying themselves."

"Thanks to you," Sam reminded her gently. "It's your house and, thank God, it's your food."

"It's our house, Sam," Janet's voice was firm. "Yours and mine. I don't ever want you to leave. I want you to feel this is your house. And if you can't, we'll find a place that you do feel comfortable in."

"I feel comfortable right here, Jan," Sam kissed her very softly on the lips. "It's a great house. I love it. But I'd live in a draughty hut, just so long as I could be with you. You make me so happy, Jan."

At that moment, the coffee machine beeped. "Coffee's ready," Janet said, unnecessarily. "You want to carry it through? I wanna wash my face."

"Okay, sweetheart," Sam said. "You are okay, though, right?"

Janet smiled. "I sure am, Sam," she said, "I don't think I've ever been more okay."

Sam took the coffee through on a tray, and distributed it. She tried to look nonchalant when Janet returned a few minutes later.

"Have you been crying?" Izzie's words were blunt.

Janet smiled. "Yeah," she admitted. "I couldn't help it Izzie; having you all here has made me so happy. It's been a great day."

Izzie smiled gently. "Yes, it has," she said. She reached out and grasped Janet's hand. "Will you sit next to me?" she asked, moving carefully along the couch. Janet smiled again, and sat next to Izzie, who kissed her softly on the cheek. "Will you be my auntie?" Izzie asked. "Sam too?"

Janet's eyes filled with tears again. "We'd be honored, Iz," she whispered.

"Hey," Anna joked, "you can't adopt just one sibling you know, you get the two of us, we come as a package!"

"That's good," Sam said, trying to keep her voice light, though she was filled with emotion. "You're all part of the family now. You too, Cassie, if that's okay?"

Cassie smiled; Sam could see she was struggling to contain her own emotions. "Yeah," she said, her voice cracking. "That's okay. That's more than okay."

Sam moved over toward Cassie. "Room for another?" she asked.

Cassie's face lit up, and she moved along the cushion. "Always," she said, and squeezed Sam's fingers.

****

The afternoon passed pleasantly, with much laughter and jokes. Cassie had them all in fits as she told them some of the more outlandish stories of the calls they had had to make as EMTs, and described with much humor some of the more unpleasant patients she had had to deal with.

"What do you do if a patient gets nasty?" Anna asked, intrigued as to how the EMTs kept calm in difficult circumstances.

Cassie grinned. "We make sure to put 'ULN' on the paperwork," she said. Janet snorted with laughter. "You know what that means, I'm sure Janet," she said.

"I sure do," Janet replied. "'Unnecessarily Large Needles,' she explained to the group. "Along with 'RTO' and 'MSTOGAE'."

Cassie laughed.

"Oh you can't leave it like that," Sam demanded. "You know how I need to know what every acronym means."

Janet blew her a kiss. "You can't help being a nerd, Sam," she said jokingly. "'RTO' is Rectal Thermometer Only,' and 'MSTOGAE' is Make Sure This One Gets An Enema'."

The whole group collapsed with laughter.

"We'd better take a look at the paperwork after you were picked up Izzie," Carolyn winked affectionately at her younger daughter.

"Oh no," Cassie said, unable to keep the fondness out of her voice. "Izzie was a model patient. If only all our patients were like that."

"TOAS?" Janet asked.

"Yep," Cassie replied.

"This One's A Sweetie," Janet explained, with a smile. "Not too often doctors see that on the sheet."

Izzie grinned, and then tried to mask a huge yawn.

"You may be a sweetie Izzie, most of the time at least, but it's time you took a nap," Carolyn told her younger daughter. "Come on, I'll help you to your room."

"I can come back later though, can't I?" Izzie hated to leave the gathering.

"Of course you can, in a couple of hours," Janet promised. "But you should sleep for a while. Doctor's orders!"

****

After Carolyn and Izzie had disappeared into her room, Cassie cleared her throat. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you," she said to Sam. "That's the other reason I came. There's something I want to ask you and Janet. If that's okay."

"I'll just be in my room," Anna said, wanting to give the three women privacy.

"No," Cassie put her hand out, "stay. It's nothing private. And I want you to hear it too, though I'm not quite sure why."

"Cass?" Sam asked. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm great," Cassie replied. "There's nothing wrong, I swear. I've just been... thinking. And I wanted to see what you thought of my plans. Well, they're not definite yet. I haven't done anything yet. But I wanted to ask you first." She laughed. "I'm not making a huge hell of a lot of sense, am I?"

Janet smiled. "Not yet," she said, with a laugh in her voice. "What is it you've been thinking about Cassie?"

"I've been thinking of moving on for some time," Cassie told them. "I mean, Bismark's okay, but I've never really felt at home there. I haven't really felt at home anywhere, not since Catherine died. Bismark was fine when I was with Rose; we knew it wasn't really going anywhere, but we got along well for the time we were together. But she was the only reason I went there. Since she left, I've been wondering where to go next. Being an EMT is good that way, I can transfer pretty much anywhere."

Sam took a deep breath; she knew what she wanted Cassie to say next, but she didn't want to put any pressure on the girl, it had to be her own decision. "Go on, Cass," she said gently.

"I was thinking of moving this way," Cassie tried to sound nonchalant. "Montana's beautiful. And I would really like to get to know you and Janet better. I'd like to transfer here, get an apartment nearby. But not if you don't think it's a good idea. I can still come visit you from Bismark. Or I could go somewhere else, Colorado's supposed to be nice. I don't want to do anything that's... weird. Or creepy. I don't want you to feel any obligation toward me. I know I'm not your daughter, not like from the other timeline. But I'd like to be, kinda, like part of your family. In some way."

She looked down at her hands, and realized with some dismay that they were shaking. The next thing she knew, Sam had swept her up in a huge hug. "Oh Cass," Sam said, tears in her eyes, "you don't know how much I was praying you'd say that. In fact, Janet and I have talked about moving midway between here and Bismark, so it would be easier to see you. We can't go too far, because of Kathryn, Janet's mom. But if you move here, that would be just perfect. Wouldn't it, Jan?" She looked up at Janet, and saw how moved her lover was by the scene unfolding before her eyes.

"Yeah," Janet said, with feeling. "It really would. We can be a real family. And you'll visit us, won't you Anna, after you go back?"

Anna nodded. "I certainly will, if that's okay," she said with enthusiasm. "You've all been such good friends to me, to us. Izzie'll want to visit too, I know."

"Well, you're all welcome, any time you can make it," Janet told her.

****

"How're you doing Sam?" Janet asked, as they climbed into bed that night, tired but happy. Sam had just taken a quilt and pillows down to Cassie, who was sleeping that night on the couch. "Been a hell of a day, hasn't it?"

Sam turned to Janet, and kissed her softly. "It's been an amazing day, Jan," she told her. "The best I've had in ages. I can't believe Cassie really is moving here."

Janet reached out and took Sam's hand, pressing it to her lips. "I've had an idea about that, honey," she said. "I was going to say something earlier, but I wanted to run it past you first. Cassie's your daughter, Sam," she started.

"Our daughter," Sam replied, firmly.

"Well, she should be living in the same house as us then, shouldn't she? At least to start with. She's trying to save money, and she's moving here to get to know us. What do you say we ask her to move in? For as long as she wants. Would that be too weird for you baby?" Janet peered anxiously at Sam.

Sam swallowed; she had had no idea Janet was going to make such an offer. "I think that would be... amazing," she said. "If that's what Cassie wants. What about you though, sweetie? Are you sure you're okay with this? Are you ready for that sort of commitment?"

"I sure am," Janet told her. "I've always wanted a family. In fact," her eyes glistened with unshed tears, "we were going to start a family. Sam, the Sam from my timeline, and I. We... we had decided that the time was right. In fact, we'd booked to go to the clinic. But she died," Janet sounded so sad that Sam's heart broke for her, "the week before. So it didn't happen. But now," she wiped her eyes, and tried to sound positive, "now we've got a chance at a ready-made daughter. I want to do everything I can to make sure this works."

"It'll work, Jan," Sam embraced her lover. "It'll work. It'll work, because you are an amazing woman. An amazing mom. And I love you."


	30. Chapter 30 GOOD FRIENDS

The next morning, Sam was up early, and decided to get some fresh rolls for breakfast, to save Janet from having to cook before she went off to work. She crept downstairs, and was pleased to see Cassie was already up and about. "Want to come with me to the bakery?" she asked the girl, lightly. Cassie nodded enthusiastically.

They chatted, companionably, in the car. As they drew up outside the bakery, Sam spotted the small coffee bar in the corner. "I could do with some coffee, how about you Cassie?" she asked.

"Yeah," Cassie agreed, "that would be good. I'll get it, you grab a table."

By the time Cassie came over with the coffees, Sam had a serious look on her face. "What is it, Sam?" Cassie asked, "is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," Sam said, "really. But there is something I want to talk to you about. If that's okay."

Cassie nodded. Sam took a deep breath. "We were talking, last night. Janet and I. About you."

"About me?" Cassie was confused. "What about me?"

"We're both so happy that you've decided to move to Montana. We want to see as much of you as we can. And then Janet suggested something. She thinks, and I agree, that living on your own in an apartment might be lonely. So she said that maybe we should ask you to move in with us. Not necessarily for ever, not if that's not what you want," Sam started to trip over her own words. "I mean, we don't want to put any pressure on you. None at all. But maybe you'd like to stay with us for a while, until you settle in the area. And then you can get an apartment with friends, or you can stay. Whichever you'd prefer. But please don't feel under any obligation; we don't want to force ourselves on you."

Sam was becoming flustered, and Cassie smiled. "I think that's a great idea," she said, in a soft voice. "I can't believe you've suggested it. I'd love to move in with you and Janet. For a while at least, see how it all goes. You two have been so sweet to me," her voice shook slightly. "For the first time in ages, I feel... this is going to sound silly. But I feel like I'm part of a family again. And I love it. I know you two aren't really my parents. But you feel kinda like parents to me, and that makes me so happy. Catherine was wonderful," her voice broke at that point, "but she's not here any more. And she was never really maternal, though I know she loved me, and I loved her. But since she died, I've felt so alone. You know what I mean, like when you feel there isn't somebody to fight your corner if you need them. I don't feel like that any more."

Sam reached out and put her hand on Cassie's. "We'll always fight your corner," she said, with feeling. "Both Janet and I will always be there for you."

"I know," Cassie replied, a single tear tracking down her face. "And that makes me so happy."

And she stood up and moved toward Sam, enveloping her in a warm hug. "Thank you. So much."

Sam didn't trust herself to speak.

****

Twenty minutes later, they let themselves back in the house, where the inhabitants were starting to stir. Janet was standing in the kitchen, spooning coffee into the machine. "I wondered where you two had got to," she said, with a twinkle.

"We brought breakfast," Sam said, and with a flourish produced a huge bag of hot rolls and danishes.

Janet opened the bag and peered in. "All my favorites. Cassie, you are a good influence on Sam. You should stay more often."

"Actually," Sam couldn't keep the smile off her face. "Cassie and I have just had a talk about that very idea. She's agreed to move in with us, for a while at least, once her transfer's through."

"Oh Cass, that's wonderful!" Janet exclaimed, and swept the young woman into her arms. "When can you move in?"

Cassie laughed. "It's going to take me a few weeks to organize the transfer. About the end of the month, I guess, if that's okay?"

"That's great," Janet said. "I can't wait."

****

Once Janet had headed off to work, Sam sat down at the internet for a while. Cassie and Anna entered the room. "Hey you two," Sam greeted them, "you okay?"

"We're fine, thanks, Sam," Anna answered. "Thought we'd for a walk, you want to join us?"

Sam shook her head. "No," she replied. "I've decided it's time for me to do some serious job hunting. If I'm going to stay here in Montana, and I definitely am, then I need to find something to do during the day. It's really weird, watching Janet leaving for work. I've always had something to do, this is the first time I can remember when I've had all this free time. And maybe I'm strange," Sam laughed at herself, "but I don't really like it. I want to be doing something useful. So I thought I'd start on the net, see what I can scare up. I'll send out my resume to a few places."

"Your resume?" Cassie asked. "How are you going to explain your history?"

Sam grinned. "Well, not _my_ resume exactly. Beth Porter's resume. That's the name I have to use in this timeline. And the resume will be something of a work of fiction. But I'll still use the skills I genuinely have. The authorities have said they'll pretty much supply me with any paperwork I need, just so long as I don't work in any of the jobs they've forbidden. They're scared I'll try and change the timeline if I get the chance."

"And would you, Sam?" Cassie asked.

"I would have, a few months ago," Sam admitted. "But now... now I'm not so sure. There's no sign of Ba'al as yet. So it's entirely possible that he has been killed by another of the System Lords in the 70 years since he changed the timeline. Or even that the Gou'auld have been defeated. I just don't know. Personally, I've now got just about all I ever wanted in this timeline," she smiled warmly at Cassie, "now that I've found Janet, and you. So no, I don't think I would. Not unless something happened and Earth was at risk. I'll miss working in astrophysics, but that's a small price to pay."

"What do you think you will do Sam?" Anna asked.

"I'm not really sure. I might go into teaching. I used to teach at the Academy quite a bit, and I always wanted to do more of that. I'm just looking right now, to see what's available."

"Well good luck with that," Cassie told her. "We won't be long. Just want to get some fresh air, and to have a look around the neighborhood. After all, if I'm going to be living here," she grinned widely, "I should probably see what the place has to offer."

Anna smiled too. "It's so great Cassie's going to be here with you and Janet," she told Sam. "We all need to be part of a family, I'm just so pleased that Cassie's found hers."

Sam smiled back. "And we're both so happy we've found Cassie," she told her. "Being with Janet is wonderful, but I always felt something was missing. And now we've found her."

Cassie grinned bashfully. "You might not say that when you find my smelly socks on the floor in the bathroom," she said with a laugh.

"I can't wait!" Sam laughed too. "I just wish you could stay longer now. Do you really have to go back tonight?"

"Yeah," Cassie replied, glumly. "I'm on an early shift tomorrow morning."

"You will come back again before we leave, won't you?" Anna, Carolyn and Izzie were set to fly back in nine days' time.

"Oh yes," Cassie said, "I'll make sure of it. I've got three days off next week, so I'll come back then. If that's okay, Sam?"

Sam smiled. "Of course it's okay, Cass," she said. "The more time you spend here, the happier I am."

"I'll try and see you off at the airport too," Cassie said, "I should be able to make it, if my shift ends on time on that day." Cassie knew that it was impossible to guarantee that her shift would finish exactly on time, as if they were in the middle of dealing with a patient, they would have to finish the job before they could leave.

"That would be great," Anna said. "I know Izzie wants to see as much of you as she can."

Sam smiled to herself. She knew that it was true that Izzie had come to love Cassie like a sister. But she suspected that Anna was also developing feelings for her. She didn't say anything though, she knew that Anna had been badly hurt by Tina, and that it was far too early for her to think about another relationship. She was just pleased to see the two girls getting along so well, and enjoying each other's company. "Why don't you drive down to the lake, and take your walk round there?" she suggested. "It's beautiful there, and so quiet."

"That's a great idea," Cassie said. "I think we'll do that. Hope it all goes well with the job hunting Sam... or should I call you Beth?" she grinned as they left the room.

****

"God, Sam was right," Cassie said, as she looked around her. The scenery round the lake was breathtaking, and the fall colors were just beautiful. "I think I'm really going to like living here." She turned to Anna. "I know you have to go back, Annie. But you will come back and visit, won't you? You're real important to Sam and Janet, I think they really do see you as part of the family. And I'd like to see more of you too," she suddenly became shy. "I mean... it's nice to have a friend."

Anna looked straight into her eyes, her own eyes shining. "I'd love to come back and visit," she said, with feeling. "I'm not sure what's happening, with all of us. Dad's retiring in three months' time, and they're thinking of doing a big holiday, they want me and Izzie to go with them. I think I'm going to try and persuade them to end their trip in Montana. I know Izzie'll want to see Sam and Janet, and you of course. I'll just have to see what happens. But I'll definitely be back. I'm just not entirely sure when yet."

Cassie noticed a wistful look in her new friend's eye, but did not press her on it. She knew Anna had had a rough time of it with Tina, so she didn't want to put any pressure on her. But she didn't want to lose her friendship; she enjoyed her company too much for that.

****

"Hey sweetie," Sam met Janet in the hall as she returned from work. "Good day?"

"Not bad," Janet replied, as she shrugged off her coat. She reached up and hung it on the coat rack. She then turned to Sam, and drew her into a kiss. "It's just suddenly got much better," she grinned, when they broke off. "So how about you, hon? How was your day?"

Sam was smiling. "Yeah, pretty good. Got a job interview next Thursday morning! Local college is looking for a math tutor. They need somebody to get the kids up to speed before they go to college. Said it would also help if I had a basic knowledge of physics too," she grinned. "Told them I could likely manage that."

Janet exclaimed with delight. "That's so great Sam. It means you really are staying here."

Sam took both of her hands in her own. "I'll never leave you Janet, I swear. Wherever you go, I go. Nothing's going to split us up, ever."

****

"So you're back next Thursday evening?" Sam asked Cassie, for the third time, as the young woman made her way to her car.

"Yes!" Cassie laughed. "I swear!" And she drew Sam into a tight hug.

"Looks like Thursday's gonna be a special day then," Janet smiled. "Sam has her interview in the morning, and you're back in the evening. We should do something to celebrate."

"How about I take us all out for dinner?" suggested Carolyn. "I've been wanting to do something to thank you so much for all your hospitality."

"Great idea, Mum," Anna said, "don't you think so Izzie?"

Izzie readily agreed, so despite Sam and Janet's protests, they booked Janet's favorite restaurant for the following Thursday.

Sam hated saying goodbye to Cassie, even for that short period. Something in her was frightened that Cassie would change her mind; about moving to Montana, about living with them in same house, about wanting to be part of their family. "It's okay, baby," Janet took her hand as they watched Cassie's car disappear into the distance. "She'll be back. I know it."

"I hope so," Sam whispered, in a small voice. "I don't think I could take it, losing her after finally finding her."

"You're not gonna lose her, Sam," Janet's voice was gentle and reassuring. "She loves you; she won't change her mind."

Sam squeezed Janet's hand gratefully.

****

The next week passed quickly, and before she knew it, Janet was leaving for work on the Thursday morning. "Call me," she instructed Sam, "as soon as you come out. I want to know how it went."

"I will. I swear," Sam was smiling. "I'll call you from the parking lot."

"You'd better," Janet muttered darkly. "Or," and she grinned evilly as she reached up for a kiss, "I shall have to consider withholding bedroom privileges!"

"Now that's something I don't want to risk," Sam's voice was husky.

****

Three hours later, Sam walked jauntily to her car after her job interview. Mindful of Janet's earlier threat, and knowing also that the small medic would be on tenterhooks, she took out her cellphone. Janet answered the 'phone on the first ring. Sam laughed. "Expecting a call, Dr Fraiser?" she asked, in a humorous tone.

"Sam!" Janet squealed. "Well? Don't keep me waiting!"

"I got the job!" Sam told her happily, and laughed as she heard Janet's shrieks of delight.

"I knew you'd get it," Janet replied, once she had calmed down. "Sam, I'm so pleased."

"Me too," Sam admitted. "I was beginning to go stir-crazy. I can't wait to get back out in the workplace."

"When do you start?" Janet wanted to know.

"Beginning of next semester," Sam told her. "Six weeks from now. Plenty of time to get prepared, learn all about the curriculum, that sort of thing."

"It'll be a real celebration tonight, then," Janet was full of enthusiasm. "Even better, Cassie'll be here mid-afternoon, she's getting out of work early. She'll be thrilled to hear."

"How do you know that?" Sam asked.

"She 'phoned an hour ago," Janet said. "And there's more good news. She's got her transfer date. She moves here on the 29th. Isn't that great?"

"Oh that's wonderful," Sam replied. "That's only three weeks away. We'll have to get her room ready."

"Well it'll make a change from her sleeping on the couch," Janet joked. "We'll ask her later how she wants the room decorated. I thought we'd put her in the room Anna's in now. It's not the biggest, but it's right next to the linen cupboard. I don't know what you think, Sam, but I was wondering if we could convert that into a small bathroom for her, with a shower. Then she can have an en-suite. What do you think, honey?"

Sam was touched by Janet's eagerness to make Cassie welcome. "I think that'd be great, Jan," she replied. "I'll get a contractor to come in after Annie and the others leave next week."

At that moment, Janet's beeper went off. "Got to go, Sam," she told her, "I'm wanted in x-ray. I'll see you later, I can't wait."

"Love you," Sam said, as she rang off.

****

The restaurant dinner was a great success. Izzie was on particularly fine form, and was delighted to see Cassie again. They chose to get cabs to and from the restaurant, so that nobody had to drive, so there were a great many toasts, to celebrate Sam's new job and Cassie's forthcoming transfer to Montana, and to wish Anna, Carolyn and Izzie a safe journey home the following week. Sam noticed that both Anna and Cassie went a little quiet when that toast was made. Izzie declared that she didn't want to go back home. "I want to see Dad," she said, "but I don't want to leave you all here."

"We'll come back and visit soon," Carolyn put a hand on her daughter's arm. "I promise. And you must all come visit us too," she gestured to include Sam, Janet and Cassie. "There'll always be beds for you wherever we are. You'd love Oxford," she told them, "and it's so near London, we can always show you round."

"I'd love to see London," Cassie declared, "and Oxford. And Stonehenge," she added, laughing.

"Well then you must come, and we'll take you to all those places, and more," Carolyn said.

"The important thing is we must all stay in touch," Sam said firmly, and reached out and grasped one of Janet's hands, and one of Cassie's. In turn, everybody around the table clasped hands with the person either side of them.

"Good friends," Janet said, her voice shaking. "Something we all need."

"Good friends," they all chorused in reply.


	31. Chapter 31 AIRPORTS

"She said she'd be here!" Izzie's voice was petulant.

"She said she'd _try_ to make it, Iz," Anna reminded her sister gently. "She's working today, remember? She said she'd get straight in the car after her shift. But it's nearly three hours away, and we don't know what the traffic is like."

"But I wanted to see her before we leave," Izzie said, miserably.

"I know, Iz," Anna's tone was reassuring. "We all want to see her. But if she doesn't make it, we're just going to have to accept it. Anyway," she forced a smile, "we'll all be back in three months or so, won't we Mum?" she winked at her mother Carolyn.

She had managed to persuade her parents that they should start the long vacation they had planned after her father's retirement in Montana. Carolyn already suspected that Anna might decide to stay in Montana while the rest of the family covered parts of the US they hadn't seen on their last trip. Carolyn kept her thoughts to herself, though. Much as she liked Cassie, she didn't want to push Anna toward another relationship until she was ready; she had been very badly hurt, and was still raw. And, as far as she could tell, Anna and Cassie were only good friends. So far.

"You know you can come stay any time you want, don't you?" Janet put her arm round Izzie. "You'll always be welcome in our house. Any of you."

Izzie smiled. "You're nice," she replied, "both of you."

"Let's have a coffee," Sam suggested. "You've got just under an hour before you have to go through," she nodded at the departure gate. "She might be on her way. There's no answer from her cell, which suggests she could be driving. It's worth a try." Sam thought she saw Anna's face light up slightly with hope. Like Carolyn, she also wondered if Cassie and Anna had reached some sort of understanding. She decided that they probably hadn't yet, but she remained hopeful that history would repeat itself, and that they would find the happiness they had in her former timeline. "C'mon Izzie," she suggested with a grin, "let's go and see what cakes they've got here; you can help me choose." And she passed the girl her crutches, on which she was by now very agile. Izzie smiled.

****

"I don't know how you can drink that stuff," Janet's nose wrinkled in disgust as Sam sipped a herbal tea.

"Well Dr Fraiser, I don't know how you can say that," Sam grinned. "My doctor tells me I should avoid too much caffeine. And she's not the sort of woman you argue with."

"Yeah," Janet agreed, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Because you always follow your doctor's orders, don't you?"

"There are some orders I follow absolutely," Sam gave Janet a look that allowed for only one interpretation.

Janet blushed, and almost choked on her coffee. "Yes, well, I don't think we need to talk about that right now," she said, as she recovered her equilibrium. She spotted a familiar figure in the distance. "Hey, Izzie," she said, with a broad grin, "looks who's come to see you off!" And she stood up, and waved frantically.

Cassie came bounding over, smiling widely. "Hey guys," she said, slightly breathlessly. "I'm so glad you're still here, I was afraid I was gonna miss you. The last patient overran, and the traffic was awful. Hey Iz," she saw the young woman's smiling face, and flung her arms round her, "you're looking great."

"I feel great, Cassie," Izzie said. "And I'm getting really good on these," she waved her crutches in the air.

"You still planning to come visit on your vacation?" Cassie asked.

Izzie nodded enthusiastically.

Sam got up from her chair. "Sit," she commanded Cassie, "I'll get you a coffee. Danish?"

"Please," Cassie replied, "I'm starving, haven't had time for anything to eat since lunch."

"I hope you'll come back for dinner then?" Janet asked. "Maybe even stay the night?"

"If that's okay," Cassie said, "that'd be great. I'm not working for three days, so I can stay two nights, if that's okay?"

"That sounds great," Janet said. "I'm working tomorrow and the next day, but Sam's around. In fact, I'm pretty sure she was planning to hit the hardware store, she's got big plans for your room. Maybe you can go with her, and make the decisions together?"

"My room?" Cassie was nonplussed. "But it doesn't need decorating."

"Oh we have bigger plans than just paint," Janet grinned. "And Sam's very excited, so you'd better just go along with everything."

"What am I excited about?" Sam demanded, as she returned with a coffee and Danish.

"Cassie's room," Janet said.

"Oh yeah," Sam grinned. "Janet's right, Cass, you'd better just agree to our plans."

Cassie grinned back. "Whatever you say, Sam, whatever you say!"

****

The six women chatted excitedly right up until the last minute. "We really must go now," Carolyn said reluctantly. She drew Sam and Janet into a hug. "Thank you," she said, "for everything. I don't know how we would have coped without you. And it's wonderful to have made such good friends. That goes for you too," she turned to Cassie. "I thought it was one of the worst things that could happen, when Iz was hit by that car. But now I see that it has led to something very special. I know you're going to be very happy when you move in with these two. We'll see you soon, okay?"

Cassie nodded, too moved by Carolyn's words to speak. She embraced her warmly, and then turned to Izzie. "Next time I see you, I don't want to see those," she said firmly, pointing at the crutches, but with a warm smile.

Izzie smiled back. "I promise," she said, and hugged Cassie. "We'll see you soon."

Anna said her goodbyes to Sam and Janet, and then turned to Cassie. She reached out, and pulled the smaller woman to her, and hugged her fiercely, not trusting herself to say anything. Cassie returned the hug. "Soon," Cassie said quietly, "we'll see you soon." Anna nodded, and pulled away reluctantly. She squeezed Cassie's hand briefly, and then walked swiftly to the barrier. As they went through, all three raised their hands and waved.

****

"Are you okay?" Sam asked Cassie, gently.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Cassie said in a quiet voice. "Just tired. Glad I made it here on time though, I really wanted to see them before they left."

"Hey Sam," Janet suggested. "How about you drive Cassie's car? You look exhausted Cassie," she said to the young woman as she started to protest. "I'll see you both back at the house."

Sam smiled, and put her hand on Janet's shoulder. "If you're sure," she said, and leant forward and kissed her softly on the mouth. "You're one in a million, Jan," she said. "See you there."

"Thanks," Cassie said. "I've been driving all day. It'll make a nice change to be driven for once."

"Sure," Sam said, taking the proffered keys. "You just take it easy. I swear not to push it. Anyway," she grinned as they reached Cassie's 12-year-old car, "I'm not sure this car's gonna let me speed."

Cassie laughed. "Not kidding. It needs a good tune-up too, I'm not very organized when it comes to things like that."

"I'll take a look," Sam offered, with rather too much enthusiasm.

"No, it's okay," Cassie said, "I'm taking enough from you two as it is."

"Seriously, I'd love to," Sam insisted. "It's been too long since I've I had my head stuck in an engine. That's what I always used to do to relax," she said, wistfully. "I'd head down to the garage, and start taking one of my bikes apart, or tune up my car, or Janet's car. Used to drive Janet crazy," she said, thinking back to her old timeline. "She'd come and drag me out if I'd been in there too long."

"Maybe you'd better do it while she's at work?" Cassie sounded worried.

Sam laughed. "Yeah, you could be right. She doesn't really mind, though, she just likes to remind me who's really in charge."

Cassie laughed too. She loved the warm, bantering relationship between Sam and Janet; it made her feel comfortable. She hoped that she too would one day have somebody as special in her life. She was sad that Anna lived on the other side of the world; she knew that hoping for a relationship with her was pointless, it would be impossible to maintain with that distance between them. But one day, she hoped, one day she would be blissfully happy like Sam and Janet.

****

Janet beat them back to the house by just over ten minutes. "Hey," she smiled, as the two came into the hallway. "Pasta okay?"

Already the smell of cooking was permeating the house. "You're amazing, Jan," Sam said, "How d'you get it cooked so fast?"

Janet winked. "The sauce is out of a packet, don't be fooled."

"Well it smells great," Sam said.

"Sure does," Cassie agreed, "I'm starving, I can't wait."

"Well you two go wash up," Janet said, turning back to chop the salad. "And by the time you get back it'll be ready."

****

"It's good having her here, isn't it?" Janet asked Sam later that night, as they were curled lazily on the couch together. Cassie had gone to bed, tired by her busy day.

"It's great," Sam agreed, "it feels... you know... just right. I'm so happy we found her, and that you wanted her to become part of our family. I know that can't have been easy for you, baby, you haven't known her for over ten years like I have. You didn't meet her when she was just a scared kid, desperate for somebody to love her."

"She still needs love now, Sam," Janet tightened her grip on her lover. "And we've both got plenty to give. It's going to be okay, hon, I'm sure of it. I know she hasn't moved in yet, but I'll bet within a couple of weeks we'll all be used to it."

"D'you think she's going to like it here?" Sam knew her voice sounded pathetic, she just couldn't help it.

"Oh honey," Janet struggled up onto her elbow, and looked deep into Sam's blue eyes. "Of course she is. She's visited every chance she could get so far, and she's staying two nights now; if her visits were just because she wanted to see Anna, she wouldn't be here now. She's been all alone since Catherine died, now she's part of a family. And I may be wrong, but my guess is that she's just thrilled about that. She kissed Sam gently. "It'll work out great, Sam, I just know it. Try not to worry."

Sam nodded, her emotions threatening to overwhelm her. "Thank you sweetie," she whispered. She looked up at her lover. "Take me to bed?" she asked in a quiet voice.

Janet rolled off the couch and got to her feet. She held out her hand to Sam. "C'mon then, baby,"

****

"You're kidding me?" Cassie was astounded. "I don't need an en-suite bathroom. The bathroom you've already got is great."

"I don't care," Sam said, with a stubborn twinkle in her eye. "We're going ahead with it, whatever you say. The shower and toilet are already on order, they'll be here on Monday. So you can come with me and choose the tiles and paint color, or you'll just have to live with whatever I choose!"

Impulsively Cassie wrapped her arms round Sam and gave her a huge hug. "You two are so sweet to me," she said, "I couldn't ask for a better family."

Sam swallowed hard, trying to hide how much she was touched by Cassie's use of the word 'family'. "You're more than welcome, Cass," she said. "We can't wait until you move in at the end of the month. And when you do, we want you to feel totally at home."

Cassie smiled shyly at Sam. "I already do," she said, "I feel the same way about this house as I used to about Catherine's place. It's a long time since I've felt ... wanted, I suppose."

Sam's heart broke for the young girl, who had experienced more tragedy in her short life than most people did in a lifetime. "Well you're certainly wanted here," she told her, "by both of us. Janet has plans for you, you know," she grinned. "She's determined to teach you to cook. She gave up on me a long time ago, and she wants a willing pupil."

Cassie giggled, a sound that filled Sam's heart with joy. "Well she's not going to find it easy," Cassie said, "let's just say that I'm not... domestically gifted!"

Sam laughed. "Poor Janet. Oh well, she'll get used to it. Ready to hit the stores, then?"

Cassie nodded. "Just show me the way!"

****

Four hours later, Sam and Cassie returned to the house, laughing and talking non-stop. They unloaded bag after bag from the trunk of the car, containing paint, brushes, wallpaper, lamps, flat-packed furniture and much more. "I can't wait to get started!" Sam announced. Cassie laughed.

By the time Janet came home from work, the house was in chaos. Sam and Cassie had moved all the bedroom furniture into the spare bedroom, and had spent the day stripping the old wallpaper and preparing the surfaces. They were dirty, but elated, and it filled Janet with pleasure to see how their relationship was moving on.

The next day, Sam was up at 6am and was down in the garage by 6.30am. When Cassie got up two hours later, she couldn't find Sam anywhere, until she heard an engine revving in the garage. She went to investigate, and was amused to find a grimy but happy Sam, with her head under the hood of her car. "Hey Cass!" Sam called. "Just fixing a few things here. My guess is it's been some time since this poor car has had any attention?"

Cassie grinned and looked slightly shamefaced. "Yeah," she admitted. "Car maintenance isn't exactly one of my strengths. I know I should have taken it in before now to be looked at."

Sam smiled back. "Don't worry about it, it's given me something to play with. I need to get a few parts today though. Did you realize your brakes are nearly worn through? I'm going to enjoy getting this baby roadworthy again. Should be done before the end of the day. Want to learn a bit about engines, or would you rather work on your room?"

"I'd love to learn a bit about the car," Cassie was enthusiastic. "I've always wanted to learn some of the basics, like oil changes, but I've never known anyone who could teach me."

"Well you've come to the right place!" Sam grinned. "We'll leave your room for today, it's more important that we get this fixed; I don't want you driving it again, not before I get these brakes replaced at the very least. Okay then, hand me that wrench."

They spent most of the rest of the day in the garage, and Cassie was excited by how much she had learned.

****

"Ten days," Sam's voice broke. "We'll see you in ten days." Her arms were wrapped round the girl she now totally thought of as her daughter.

"And after that, you won't be able to get rid of me!" Cassie joked, to lessen the tension of the moment.

"Drive safely," Janet said.

"I will, especially now the car is running so well, thanks to Sam," Cassie smiled. "I'll call when I get there."

Sam and Janet continued waving long after the car had disappeared from view. "You okay?" Janet asked Sam.

"Yeah," Sam said, "I really am. And our daughter's coming home in less than two weeks. Life doesn't get much better than that, does it?"

"Did you notice that she and Anna talked every day while she was here?" Janet asked. "Seems to me that they're developing a very strong friendship, to say the least."

Sam smiled. "Those two belong together," she said quietly. "I know, I know," she held up her hands in surrender, "I'm not going to push either of them. But you just wait, and watch. I'm right, I'm sure I am."

"I hope you are, Sam," Janet said, "I can't think of a better girlfriend for Cassie."

****

"Wow!" Cassie was astounded at the progress Sam (and Janet, on the weekend) had made on her room. "It all looks great. I can't believe it's the same room. You've done a fantastic job!"

"Check out the bathroom!" Sam urged, she was even more excited than Cassie.

"Oh my God!" Cassie exclaimed. "It's incredible. And it's all mine! You realize I'm never going to want to move out of here?"

"That's what we're hoping Cassie," Janet said, kissing her gently on the cheek. "Okay. Lunch is ready."

Over the meal, the three women talked constantly. Cassie admitted that she was nervous about starting at the new station that week, but insisted that she was happy to have made the move. "I'll get to know the others soon enough," she said. "It'll be great. And it'll be so good to come back here after a shift, rather that going to my old room." She also told Sam and Janet that she was talking every day to Anna. "She's a real good friend," she said simply. "And in the future, who knows? It'll be good to see her again in a couple of months, and the others too, of course. Izzie's off her crutches now, she's doing real well."

****

"So how was it?" Sam demanded, as Cassie returned from her first shift at the new station.

"Great!" Cassie grinned. "They've paired me with Rob, and he seems real nice. He's very funny, but he's also very kind with the patients. We had to get an old lady who had slipped on her stairs this morning, and he was very gentle with her. Even got her laughing on the way to hospital. I think I'm really going to like it there!"

"That's great," Sam beamed.

Over the next few days, all three women slipped into a routine. Sam was spending most of her days studying, getting ready for her new job as a math teacher, which was only three weeks away. And Cassie and Janet both came home happy from work each day. Life was good.

Ten days after Cassie arrived in the house, her cell rang. "It's Annie!" she told Sam and Janet, as she got up from the couch and took the call in the kitchen. Sam and Janet heard squeaks of excitement, and fifteen minutes later Cassie came bounding back into the living room. "She's on her way!" she told the two women, excitedly. "She's at the airport now. She gets here at 10.30am tomorrow. I'm picking her up from the airport then!"

Once Cassie had calmed down, she explained that Anna had called, and told her that she couldn't wait any longer to see her, so on impulse had bought an air ticket. She told them, rather shyly, that Anna had told her that she thought she was falling in love with her, and wanted to see her, to see if there was a chance they could make a relationship work. "I think I love her too," Cassie said, blushing.

Sam leapt up from the couch, and flung her arms round her daughter. "That's great news," she told Cassie. "Annie's welcome here any time she wants, for as long as she wants, right Jan?"

Janet nodded her agreement, a broad smile on her face. "Sam?" she asked. "Didn't you want to go back and clear out your apartment in Washington at some point?"

"Yeah," Sam said, "I've only got a few things there, but I want to get them. Then I can sell the place furnished, or get somebody in to clear the place."

"Well how about we go together, tomorrow?" she suggested. "It's the weekend, I haven't seen Washington for years. Cassie can give us a ride to the airport when she goes to get Anna. And then they can both come back and pick us up Sunday evening."

Sam beamed. She knew that Janet was being her usual tactful self, and wanted to give Cassie and Anna the run of the house for a couple of days. And she also thought that she would rather enjoy a romantic weekend alone with Janet. In truth, she only needed to pick up the few clothes in her closet, a couple of books and a few CDs. Everything else she would happily leave behind. In her mind, she was already planning a nice restaurant, champagne, flowers, the lot. "Great idea, Jan," she said. "I'll look on the 'net, check flights."

Cassie protested that they didn't need to do that, but Janet insisted that she wanted to see Washington, so within an hour it was fixed. Sam found flights that left 90 minutes after Anna arrived, so that would give them time to greet her and have a cup of coffee, before Anna went home with Cassie.

****

"What's wrong Cass?" Sam asked Cassie that evening. Janet was in the kitchen.

"I'm okay," Cassie replied, but looked downcast.

"Something's bugging you," Sam said, gently. "I can tell."

"I'm just being dumb," Cassie said. "Worrying about things I can't do anything about." She looked up at Sam, who moved over to the couch she was sitting on and took her hand.

Sam said nothing, and just waited for Cassie to continue.

"It's Annie," Cassie said eventually. "I'm excited about seeing her again, of course I am. Real excited. I'm just worried. We might not get on. We might not be ... compatible," she blushed furiously at this. "We haven't even kissed Sam."

Sam looked at her distraught daughter. "You love her, right?" she asked in a gentle voice.

Cassie nodded. "I do, I really do."

"And she says she loves you?"

"She says so," Cassie agreed.

"And, even though she's scared of flying, she's coming half way across the world to see you, isn't she?" Sam went on.

"Yeah, she is," Cassie said.

"So she loves you. And you love her. That's all you need," Sam said. "Anything else, you'll work out. It'll all be fine. More than fine, it's going to be great. And you don't need to rush anything. Just trust Annie, and trust yourself. She's as nervous as you, I'll bet. You'll work it out. And when you do," this time it was Sam's turn to blush, "you'll discover real happiness."

"Thanks, Sam," Cassie looked up at her, tears in her eyes.

"If you ever need to talk, we're here," Sam told her. "We'll always be here."

****

"The flight landed twenty minutes ago!" Cassie was impatient.

"They've got to get their bags, go through Customs, all that stuff," Janet reminded her gently. "She'll be here any minute."

"There she is!" Sam exclaimed, pointing out a figure struggling with an awkward baggage trolley.

Cassie ran toward Anna, who flung herself into her arms. "It's great to see you," she said softly. "Thank you for coming."


	32. Chapter 32 FINDING LOVE

Cassie reluctantly disentangled herself from Anna, and took her hand. "I'm not alone here," she smiled, "there are some others who are keen to see you!"

"Sam and Janet?" Anna asked, excitedly. "Where are they?" she looked behind Cassie, and saw the two women waving, big grins on both their faces. Cassie took charge of her baggage trolley as she ran over to Sam and Janet, and flung herself at them.

"Hey there, kiddo!" Sam laughed at Anna's enthusiasm. She looked closely at the girl's pale face. "Rough flight?"

Anna laughed, ruefully. "I don't think I'll ever get used to flying," she replied. "Though it was worth it to see you all! You didn't have to come to the airport too," she protested, feeling guilty that they had come all that way.

"Actually, we did," Janet piped up. "We're getting a flight out very soon. We just wanted to say 'hi' before we left."

"You're leaving?" Anna's face fell.

"Not for long," Janet smiled. "We'll be back tomorrow. Sam and I are going to clear out her old apartment in Washington. We're flying back in at 7pm tomorrow, and we're hoping maybe one of you will come get us when we land?"

"We'll both be there!" Anna declared. She then looked over at Cassie. "Won't we?" she asked, laughing, realizing that she had taken Cassie's agreement for granted.

"Of course we will!" Cassie said. "I'm far too scared of Janet to risk saying no!" and she winked cheekily at Sam.

"Yeah, right," Sam replied with a grin. "Like anyone is scared of Janet!"

"Hey," Janet protested. "Some of my patients are very scared of me. Well, of my needles at least!"

Sam laughed, and put her arm round Janet's shoulders. "We should really go, hon," she said, reluctantly. "We don't want to miss that flight."

The four women hugged, and promised to see each other the next day.

****

As they reached the car, Cassie took Anna's hand. She turned and looked at her straight in the eyes. "I know you hate flying. I just want you to know how happy I am that you're here. It's kinda weird," she gave a half-laugh. "I've only known you for such a short time. But I've really missed you since you went back home. I was so excited when you called to say you were coming."

Anna smiled. "I couldn't stop myself," her voice was quiet, but firm. "I tried to pretend to myself that I wasn't falling for you. It's very soon after Tina, I know," she looked away when she mentioned her former lover. "But I had to admit it to myself. I'm in love with you, Cassandra. I realized there's no point waiting for some arbitrary period to expire before doing anything about it. I don't care about Tina any more, not in the slightest. If anything, I pity her. She'll never be happy. I don't ever want to see her again. But I do want to see you. All the time. I want," and she blushed slightly, "I want to hold you, I want to spend all my time with you. I want to wake up with you in the mornings."

Cassie swallowed nervously. "I've fallen for you too, Annie," she said, her voice shaking. "I think I did as soon as I saw you. I know we've got to get to know each other. We haven't even kissed," her voice was almost inaudible.

"That's something we can put right, right now," Anna's voice was gentle. "May I?"

Cassie nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Still holding Cassie's hand, Anna closed the slight gap between them, and brushed her lips softly against Cassie's. "Is that okay?" Anna asked, solicitously.

Cassie nodded. "Lost the power of speech, huh?" Anna tried to make a joke, to lessen the tension that was palpable between them.

Cassie nodded again, a wry grin on her face. Anna leant forward again, and this time her kiss was firmer, though still soft and gentle. Cassie started to respond to the kiss, and opened her mouth slightly to allow entrance to Anna's darting tongue.

Minutes later, the two women broke apart. "Well, that's one milestone taken care of," Cassie was slightly breathless, but the humor was clear in her voice.

"Yeah," Anna smiled. "I can die happy now!"

"Oh no," Cassie replied with a grin, "There will be no dying. I have plans for you."

Anna suddenly realized something. "Hey," she said, with a mischievous smile, "I've just realized. We've got the house to ourselves until tomorrow, haven't we?"

Cassie smiled again. "Oh yeah," she agreed. "I thought Sam and Janet were being unnecessarily tactful. I'm not so sure now," she said.

Anna pulled Cassie to her once again, and kissed her with undisguised passion, allowing her hands to start to roam. Eventually, Cassie pulled away. "Cameras!" Cassie said, laughing, pointing at the CCTV camera less than 20 feet away.

Anna pulled a face of mock-disgust. "Rain-check?" she suggested. "Just until we get back to the house?"

As they pulled away from the parking lot, Anna reached over, and put one hand over the one Cassie had rested on the gear shift. Cassie lifted her hand slightly, allowing Anna to interlace her fingers between her own. They remained touching throughout the rest of the drive. Cassie's heart was filled with joy. Her existence had sometimes seemed lonely and empty before she had met up with Sam, Janet and Anna. Now the future seemed filled with excitement, full of promise and hope.

****

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Anna was sitting on Cassie's bed, somehow still holding her hand. "We don't have to do this yet, there's no hurry."

"I know," Cassie's voice was tight, "but I want to. More than I've ever wanted to. You're so beautiful, Annie," she tried to stop her voice shaking. "I just can't believe how lucky I am."

"I'm the lucky one," Anna said, and reached over and carefully unbuttoned Cassie's shirt. "You're exquisite. Are you nervous?"

Cassie shook her head. "No," she sounded surprised. "I thought I would be. I really did. But everything just seems so... right."

"That's because it is Cass," Anna's voice was tender. "It's never been more right." And she pushed Cassie gently back onto the bed and kissed her. "I love you, Cassandra Langford."

"I love you Anna Ross," Cassie gasped.

****

"They have got a grocery store in Washington airport, haven't they?" Janet asked Sam, about ten minutes into the flight.

"We won't need groceries," Sam replied smugly. "I've booked us a table at a great restaurant tonight. This weekend is going to be all about us, about relaxing, having fun. No work. No cooking. Just you and me." She smiled, in anticipation of the romantic time she had planned.

"That sounds great, baby," Janet smiled back. "We'll still need to pick up some basics though, Sam, milk, bread, eggs, coffee, that sort of thing. After all, if I'm going to be relaxed, I don't relish the prospect of waking up next to a Sam Carter who is not just about to have her morning cup of coffee. I don't think I could deal with you in a caffeine-free environment!"

"Janet Fraiser!" Sam retorted hotly, "are you suggesting that I'm cranky without coffee?"

"Not cranky, exactly," Janet pretended to be looking for a tactful way to express herself, "let's just say you can get a little... tense." She grinned widely.

Sam laughed. "Well I won't get tense this weekend, that's one thing I'm sure of. But," she laughed, "just in case, maybe we'll get those few groceries before we hire a car. It couldn't hurt, could it?" she was smiling broadly now.

"It sure couldn't baby," Janet smiled her agreement. "So," she said excitedly, "where are you taking me for dinner?"

"Somewhere romantic," Sam said. "It's not in the centre of the city. In fact, I didn't realize it was still there until I checked the 'net yesterday." She lowered her voice, "In my old timeline, it had a great reputation for being the place to go to with a 'special someone'. I've walked past it many times, when I used to work at the Pentagon. But I didn't have anyone to take there then. And you and I never made it to Washington together," she looked thoughtful. "But we're going now," she brightened at the realization. "And they've promised us a corner booth."

Janet was touched at the amount of thought that Sam had been able to put into their trip, especially as it was less than 24 hours since they decided to go. "I can't wait," she said, seriously, and picked up Sam's left hand, enclosing it in both of hers.

"The girls'll be home by now," Sam mused. "It was a good idea of yours, Jan, give them a bit of space."

"Everybody needs some privacy sometimes," Janet said, thoughtfully. "And at the beginning of the relationship, the last thing you need is a houseful of other people."

"They're going to be real good together, aren't they?" Sam looked into Janet's eyes, and Janet was sure she saw her eyes glistening with emotion.

"Oh yeah," she squeezed Sam's hand reassuringly. "They definitely are. Did you see the way Cassie was looking at Anna? They've really fallen for each other."

"I hope this means Cassie's going to be happy at last," Sam's voice shook slightly. "That poor kid, she's had a hell of a life."

"My guess is she's happy already," Janet replied. "She's found you. Or you found her."

"We all found each other, Jan," Sam said, "and thank God for that."

****

Cassie woke up, and briefly wondered where she was, and why she had fallen to sleep in the early evening. Then she realized that she and Anna were intertwined, and remembered with a sharp stab of joy what had happened. She and Anna were now together, in every sense of the word. She shifted slightly, and as she moved, she heard a distinct rumble coming from Anna's stomach. She grinned, and realized that her lover had not had anything to eat all day. She was hungry too. So she slid out from underneath Anna, and grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a loose sweater, donning them quickly. Anna stirred, and looked up at Cassie with a lazy smile. "Hey beautiful," she said softly.

"Hey to you too," Cassie replied. "Are you okay?"

"Never been better," Anna said, with feeling, then stifled a yawn. "Tired though," she grinned, "and hungry."

"You're still on British time," Cassie reminded her. "Sleep a while longer. I'll get some take-out. Pizza? Chinese?"

"Chinese!" Anna said. "Get lots."

Cassie went downstairs, and found a drawer full of take-out menus, and smiled; Sam had been a bad influence on Janet, she decided. She called the local Chinese restaurant and put in a large order. While she waited for the delivery, she picked up her cellphone and dialled Sam's number.

****

Sam had insisted that she and Janet should hire a car for their short time in Washington. For some reason, which she couldn't really explain to herself, she wanted to show Janet round all the places she had lived, worked and played during her time in Washington in her old timeline. So they spent that afternoon driving around. They couldn't get too close to the Pentagon, but at least Sam was able to point out which side of the building she had worked in. Sam also tried to find the apartment she had lived in in the old timeline, but changes in the way things were meant that the building didn't exist, and was instead a gas station. When they enquired, they found that there had been a gas station on that site for over 20 years, and before that it had been a storage facility. "Funny the things that are different," Sam said, and Janet was sure she could detect a melancholy tone to her voice.

"The important things aren't different, baby," she told her lover reassuringly.

Sam brightened at this statement. "True," she smiled, and kissed Janet gently. "I do miss some things about my old life. I miss the guys most of all," she admitted, "but I have you, you're all I really need. Cassie too. Life's pretty good, isn't it? I just hope it lasts."

Janet looked at her. "What do you mean, Sam?"

"Nothin' really," Sam said. "Just... if Ba'al attacks. Everything'll change, in a heartbeat."

Janet took her hand. "We've talked about this baby. And you said that the most likely scenario is that he has been defeated by the other System Lords, or at least he's not as powerful as he had hoped."

Sam shook herself. "You're right, Jan. You're always right. I love you."

"Well you've shown me all the sights, Sam, how about we go to the apartment now?" Janet had a feeling Sam was avoiding going to the apartment she had been assigned in this timeline.

"Okay," Sam said, trying to hide the reluctance in her voice. "Let's go."

****

Sam looked tense as she opened the door to the apartment. Janet looked round, and was saddened to see that the apartment, while pristine, seemed somewhat soulless. Sam had made no real effort to make it into a 'home', there was very little personalization that had taken place. She met Sam's gaze. "Coffee!" she said briskly, and pushed Sam gently toward the couch. "I'll make it. You sit."

When Janet came through to the living room less than 10 minutes later, she saw that Sam was staring, unseeing, out of the window. "Hey," she said, gently. "What is it, baby? What's upset you?"

Sam looked at her, and Janet was saddened to see tears in her eyes. "It's this place," she said. "I'd forgotten how unhappy I was here. I hated it. I hated being apart from the guys. I missed everything about my old life. Most of all, I missed you. I didn't know if I would ever see you again. I didn't know if I'd ever find you."

"You found me," Janet's voice was tender. "I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere."

"I know," Sam's voice was thick. "I'm being dumb. I've just got such bad memories of this place."

"Well," Janet took her hand, and kissed it. "How about we make some good memories of our own? Banish the blues." And she pulled Sam's hand toward her breast, and held it tightly to her. "What do you say?"

Sam tightened her grip. "I say yes," she said, softly. "I think that's the best idea you've had all day." And she stood up and pulled Janet to her feet. "I don't think I've shown you the bedroom yet, have I?"

Janet was relieved to see that Sam had regained some of her spark. "No," she said in a sultry voice. "I think it's about time you gave me a full tour."

****

It was early evening when Sam turned in her large bed in her Washington apartment, and looked directly at Janet. She grinned. "Well, sweetie," she said, "I'd say that, as a cure for the blues, that's got to be about as effective as it comes."

Janet smiled widely. "Doctor's orders," she said smugly, "we always know the best cures!"

"You sure do, Jan," Sam leaned over and kissed her. At that moment, her cellphone trilled. She picked it up from the nightstand. "It's Cassie," she told Janet. "Cass!" she barked into the 'phone. "What's wrong? Are you okay? Is Annie okay?"

Cassie laughed. "Of course I'm okay. We're both okay, Sam. More than okay. I just wanted to 'phone to tell you you were right."

"Right about what?" Sam asked.

"Happiness," Cassie said. "You told me that when I found the right person, I'd find true happiness. I don't think I've ever been so happy. I love her Sam," she said, shyly. "And she loves me. I'm the luckiest girl in the world."

"Oh Cassie," Sam was moved almost beyond words. "You don't know how happy that makes me. You deserve someone to love, who loves you back."

"Thank you Sam," Cassie said. "And thank Janet for me too, would you? Tell her I love her. I love you both. You've changed my life."

"What is it, baby?" Janet asked after Sam had hung up the 'phone. "Are they okay?"

Sam smiled. "They're great. Both of them. Cassie just wanted us to know how happy she is."

"Life's good, Sam, isn't it?" Janet asked.

"Life's great, Jan," Sam agreed. "Everything's great."


	33. Chapter 33 FESTIVE SEASON

Cassie awoke, to see Anna half sitting up, leaning on one elbow, looking at her with a slight smile on her face. "Hey beautiful," Cassie said groggily.

"Hey yourself," Anna replied. "You okay?"

"Never been better," Cassie replied with feeling. "You?"

"Ditto," said Anna. "Best day of my life so far."

Cassie smiled. "I was worried. Before you got here. Didn't know if we'd... work well together."

Anna grinned. "I don't think we need to worry on that score, do we Cass?" And she gave her a saucy wink.

"Seeing as we've not left the bedroom for nearly 24 hours, I think probably not," Cassie grinned back.

"We did too!" Anna protested. "We got up for dinner last night."

"Oh yeah," Cassie agreed. "Okay, so we were up for 20 minutes. The rest of the time we've been in here."

"My idea of a perfect weekend," Anna replied firmly.

"Well we gotta get up now," Cassie declared. "We need to shower, and I don't know about you, but I'm starving. We should get everything cleared up before we go get Sam and Janet from the airport this evening."

"Okay," Anna reluctantly agreed. "I get the shower first, though," she bargained.

Cassie kissed her softly. "I thought maybe we could do that together," she said.

"That works too," Anna's voice went up an octave.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Four CDs and eight books? Is that it?" Janet queried Sam as they packed up her apartment on the Sunday morning.

"And two laptops!" Sam said with a laugh in her voice. "Don't forget them. And some clothes."

Janet was saddened that this was all that Sam had acquired in her time alone at the apartment. "Looks to me like you didn't really make much of an effort to settle in here, Sam," she said gently. "Was it really that bad?"

Sam looked up guiltily. "No, baby, it wasn't that bad," she said reassuringly, putting a comforting hand on Janet's arm. "I mean, I hated being without you. But the apartment was furnished. I didn't need much. And, honestly, I never really planned to settle here. I knew I was going to do everything I could to find you. But even if I hadn't been able to," she felt sick at the thought that she may have had to live without Janet, "I wouldn't have stayed here. I'd have moved away, somewhere with trees, nature, where I could relax. Canada, maybe. Or Montana, even," she smiled at Janet. She took Janet's face in her hands, marveling once again at her lover's soft skin. "What matters, Jan, is that I did find you. And that you wanted to be with me, even after losing the other Sam. You are amazing, taking that step, risking getting hurt again." She kissed her very softly.

Janet looked deep into her eyes. "I already was hurting, Sam, every day that I had to live without you. You coming to find me was the only thing that could stop that. I know she's still dead," she inhaled sharply at the thought, "but you aren't. You're here. And I love you. Thank you for finding me, Sam."

They kissed again and, without speaking, Janet took Sam's hand and led her to the bedroom, pushing her gently onto the bed. "We'll pack later, Sam, huh?"

Sam nodded, "yeah," her voice was husky. "Good idea."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"I'm gonna sell this place," Sam told Janet two hours later, as they finished dressing.

"You sure, honey?" Janet asked. "You don't want to keep it just in case?"

Sam shook her head. "I've got no reason to come back to it, Jan," she told her lover. "Washington means nothing to me these days. It's not like I'll ever work at the Pentagon again. I've got all I need in Montana. Anyway," she smiled, "I've got plans for the money."

"You have?" Janet was surprised. Good investments meant that she had paid off her house in Montana, so she knew Sam couldn't be planning to use it for that. And Sam also had a healthy allowance from the authorities, which she would be topping up with her teaching salary, so she couldn't imagine what Sam would want it for.

"Let me take you to lunch," Sam smiled, "I'll tell you all about it."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Three weeks later

After settling into a domestic routine at Janet's house, Anna and Cassie had a long talk about the future, and Anna had finally convinced Cassie that she wanted to stay with her in Montana. "Actually, it doesn't have to be Montana," she told Cassie. "I just want to be wherever you are. And I feel that, for the next while at least, you don't want to be any distance from Sam and Janet, am I right?"

Cassie nodded. "I feel like I'm part of a family at last," she told Anna, "I really don't want to move away just yet."

Anna kissed her, "then you don't have to sweetheart," she told her. "We'll stay in Montana." Anna was pleased that Cassie had decided that, she was also very fond of Sam and Janet, and enjoyed being a part of the unconventional family.

"We can get our own place," Cassie said, "we don't have to stay here in this house, not if you don't want to. But I'd like to stay nearby."

"We'll get our own place one day," Anna said, "but until we do, I'm happy here, very happy. It's a great house, and Sam and Janet are wonderful."

"Thank you," Cassie told her, "that means so much to me."

"It's time you got some sleep," Anna reminded her gently. "You're working graveyard, remember?"

Cassie groaned theatrically. She hated graveyard, when she had to start work at 1am, and finish at 1pm the next day. "I don't suppose you want to come to bed with me?" she winked suggestively.

"No!" Anna was firm. "Sleep. No fooling around. You start work in," she looked at her watch, "six hours. You should have been in bed ages ago."

Cassie looked glum, and Anna's heart melted. "Okay," she relented. "Just holding though. No funny business. Not until you get back off shift, anyway," she smiled.

Cassie grinned, and led Anna by the hand up the stairs.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Sam and Janet left early for work the next morning. Janet was on an early shift, and Sam, who was only in her second week at the college, wanted to make sure she was prepared for the day ahead, so decided to head in early. Of course Sam was always totally prepared, but it gave her more confidence to have time to double-check everything.

Anna was on her own in the house and, as she had promised Cassie, she was searching the internet, getting all the information she could find about green card eligibility, and how to apply. If she was staying in the country, she needed to get a job; her savings were dwindling, and there was no way in hell she was going to rely on anybody else for cash. So she was scrolling through pages on the 'net, when her cellphone rang just after 12.15pm. She looked down at the screen, and enthusiastically answered the 'phone. "Cassie!" she cried. "You finished early?"

"Hey beautiful," Cassie said. "I'm still on duty for the next 40 minutes, just hoping we don't get a call-out. Annie?" her tone was wheedling. "You couldn't come down to the station, could you? I've had a great idea."

Despite Anna's interrogation, Cassie refused to give any more information. "Okay," Anna laughed. "I'll get a bus, I'll be there just after 1pm. Need me to bring anything?"

"Just yourself," Cassie's tone was smug.

Nearly an hour later, Anna appeared at the door of the ambulance station, where she was greeted by Cassie's work partner Rob. "She's in the locker room," he told her, "go down, you know where it is."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Cassie stepped out of the shower, feeling refreshed and finally clean. That was the one problem with her job, sometimes at the end of a shift she felt grubby and in need of a good wash. She towelled herself off, and swiftly put on her underwear. As she reached for her shirt, she heard a very familiar voice, "Cass? Are you in here?"

"I'm here, Annie," Cassie called back, "turn left at the lockers."

Anna stepped in nervously, she didn't want to get in the way of any other EMTs. Cassie saw her, and laughed gently. "It's okay, Annie," she told her, "we're alone."

Anna took in the sight of Cassie, dressed only in jeans and a skimpy bra. "Thank goodness for that," she breathed, trying to keep her voice even. "That means you can give me a hello kiss." And she stepped toward her lover, and took her in her arms.

"Oh God," Cassie's voice cracked, "that's just what I need after a long shift," and she kissed Anna thoroughly. Anna responded, and started to run her hands up Cassie's back. Cassie pulled back slightly, reluctantly. "No time for that," she said, with a small chuckle. "Later. I swear."

Anna smiled, and tried to hide her disappointment as she passed Cassie her shirt. "So what am I doing here?" she asked.

"I've had a great idea," Cassie told her. "You know Christmas is in just under three weeks, right?"

Anna nodded, impatiently.

"Well I've been trying to think of something nice to get Sam, and I keep coming up dry," she explained. "And then Rob tells me today that his mother's dog had puppies nearly four weeks ago. They're mongrels, and she's having trouble finding homes for them. And I thought..."

"Sam's always talking about Toby, her old dog!" Anna finally realized what Cassie was driving at.

"Exactly!" Cassie said. "Do you think it's a good idea? Sam loves dogs, and I'll just bet Janet does too. Rob says we can come with him this afternoon to see his mom, see what we think."

"Oh Cass," Anna replied, "that's a fantastic idea. Though I do think we should check it out with Janet first, don't you? After all, it's her house."

"Okay," Cassie agreed. "But let's go take a look at the puppies first, we may not want any of them."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Green card?" Sam asked Anna later that night. "Of course, you'll need a green card. Why didn't I think of that?"

"It's not going to be easy getting one, Sam," Anna said rather glumly. "You have to go through all sorts of hoops first."

"You know, I may just be able to help there," Sam said, thinking back to a conversation she had had with the authorities when she needed the requisite paperwork to allow her to take up her teaching post. "I reckon I may be able to get one for you without you having to go through all the red tape."

"How Sam?" Janet asked.

"Well my guess is that, if I explain why, the authorities will be happy to grant one to Annie. After all, it's in their interests for me to be happy with this timeline. Anything that keeps me from wanting to change the timeline has got to be good for them, hasn't it?" she reasoned. "And it's not as if Annie's not a good candidate. She's young, healthy, solvent, educated, willing to work, comes from a good family. If gay marriage were allowed over here, she'd qualify immediately as Cassie's spouse. I think it'll be a shoe-in."

Anna's and Cassie's faces lit up. "Would you really do that, Sam?" Cassie asked.

"Of course I will, honey," Sam said. "I'll get right on to it tomorrow."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Sam and Janet were both determined that Christmas would be special for all of them. This was the first Christmas that they would all be together, and it was important to make sure that everything was perfect. In the weeks leading up to the day, Sam disappeared on a few occasions, making furtive 'phone calls that nobody was allowed to know anything about. Janet also took off for a couple of hours one evening, and came back looking pensive and slightly sad. She smiled bravely though when Sam called her on it, and just told her that she loved her. Sam knew not to ask any further questions.

Cassie and Anna guessed that Sam and Janet's behavior was related to Christmas, so they didn't ask any questions. Having visited Rob's mom, and fallen totally in love with the smallest of the puppies, they reckoned they had their gift to their 'parents' organized. Cassie was reluctant to ruin the surprise, but she finally agreed with Anna that they should get her agreement on the puppy before committing themselves to it, and were thrilled that Janet was enthusiastic about the idea. "Sam loves dogs," she told them, "if she's told me one story about Toby, she's told me 100. It'll be great for her to have one in this timeline. I'll love it too, I know I will."

Janet smiled to herself. She knew that she and Sam had come up with the perfect gifts for the girls, and looked forward to seeing their faces. She also hoped that her gift to Sam would make her happy, that was more important to her than anything.

So on the morning of Christmas Day, Janet rose early. Managing not to wake the still-slumbering Sam, she crept down to the kitchen where she prepared a breakfast tray. She added a small box to the tray, and carried it upstairs, where Sam was just coming to. "Merry Christmas Sam," Janet's voice was tender. "Let's hope this is the best ever."

Sam smiled. "Merry Christmas honey," she said. "We're all together, Christmas is going to be just perfect. Or at least it will be when Kathryn gets here." Janet's mom was going to join them for Christmas lunch, with Cassie and Anna due to leave to collect her in just over an hour. "Cm'ere," Sam demanded, taking the tray from Janet and setting it on the nightstand. She took Janet in her arms and kissed her gently. "I love you so much, baby," she whispered.

"Right back at ya, Sam," Janet said. "Right back at ya. Here, honey, I brought us some breakfast, thought we could enjoy it in bed together, and to hell with the crumbs!"

Sam smiled. "What's this?" she asked, pointing at the small box in the corner of the tray.

"That's for you, Sam," Janet's voice shook slightly. "Open it after breakfast."

"Okay, Jan," Sam agreed. The two women sat up in the bed, eating their breakfast, drinking coffee, talking and laughing.

When they had finally finished, and Sam had had her second cup of coffee, Janet gingerly took the box and handed it to Sam.

"I hope you like it Sam," she looked anxious.

Sam looked up at her, quizzically, unable to guess what the box held. She shook it gently, and held it to her ear.

"Just open it!" Janet demanded, laughing. "It won't bite!"

Sam grinned, and tore off the wrapping. Inside the box was a single key on a fob. Something about it looked familiar to Sam.

"What is this baby?" she asked Janet. In response, Janet climbed off the bed and shrugged on a robe, shoving her feet into slippers. Wordlessly, she held out Sam's robe to her. Intrigued, Sam stood up, put on the robe and slippers. Janet held out her hand, which Sam took, and allowed Janet to lead her downstairs. Janet headed toward the kitchen and opened the back door which opened into the garage.

In the middle of the garage stood a gleaming 1940s Indian motorbike. Sam was lost for words. The bike was almost identical to the one she had owned in the previous timeline. "Oh my God, Jan!" she exclaimed. "How? When? How did you know?" She looked across at Janet, only to see tears in her lover's eyes. "Baby, what's wrong? Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm okay, Sam," Janet's voice was a whisper. "I knew you'd love it," she swallowed. "It was hers," she told Sam, "it's been in storage since..." she didn't need to finish her sentence. "I couldn't bear to get rid of it altogether. But I couldn't bear to see it every day either. She used to work on it in here, and I'd sit here, sometimes reading my medical journals, sometimes just watching her. But I finally decided," she cleared her throat and tried to pull herself together. "I decided it was time. I know she would want you to have it, Samantha. And I want you to have it. And I want to sit in here, on Sunday afternoons, watching you tinker with it."

Sam was overwhelmed with emotion. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you. Thank you. I love you so much Janet Fraiser. I'm the luckiest woman in the world."

"Merry Christmas, Sam," Janet said, and stepped into her warm embrace.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

The day continued apace. Sam presented Janet with air tickets for an exotic holiday in Bali. "Just the two of us, two weeks. Sand. Sea. Sizzling temperatures," she told her. Janet was thrilled.

Noises from upstairs, lots of giggling and the running of the shower told Sam and Janet that Cassie and Anna were awake, and twenty minutes later they descended the stairs. They flung themselves at Sam and Janet, squealing with excitement about the day to come. The four women chatted happily, as Cassie and Anna helped themselves to coffee and breakfast.

Soon, Cassie stood up and said, "okay Annie, let's go get Kathryn."

Sam looked at her watch. "You'll be early if you leave now, she'll be pissed if you make her miss her Christmas breakfast."

Cassie smiled. "We've got another stop to make on the way. Little surprise for you. Isn't that right, Janet?"

Janet grinned, conspiratorially. "Oh yeah," she said, but despite Sam's pleading and demanding, refused to give any further information.

"We've got a surprise for you two, too," Janet said to the girls as they put on their coats. "But I want Mom to be here when you open them." Sam smiled widely. In all the emotion of the motorbike, she had completely forgotten.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"They're back!" Janet was looking out of the window as the car drew up. She flung open the front door, and ran down the steps to greet her mother. She helped her up the steps and into the hall, where Sam enveloped her in a warm hug.

"Hey Kathryn," Sam said. "Merry Christmas. You look great."

"I feel great, Sam," Kathryn smiled. "This is a very exciting day, everybody all together at last. And the girls have a great surprise for you. They've told me I have to get you into the living room, and on the couch with your eyes shut, and then they'll bring it in."

Sam was intrigued, but did as she was told.

"Are they shut?" Anna demanded. Janet confirmed that Sam had obeyed orders. "Okay Cass, bring him in," Anna said.

Very gently, Cassie brought in a cardboard box, and set it on Sam's knee. "You can open your eyes now Sam. Be careful though, he's awful scared."

Sam opened her eyes, and her heart melted when she saw a small, grey mongrel shivering in the corner of the box. He had huge, brown eyes and impossibly large ears.

"Merry Christmas, Sam and Janet," Anna said, "from me and Cassie. And it's okay," she smiled, "we checked with Janet first, she thinks he's a great idea."

Sam put one hand into the box, and very gently stroked the puppy's velvet skin. She looked up at the girls, "he's wonderful," she said, trying not to cry. "He's perfect." She looked back into the box. "Hey there, little fella," she said tenderly. "I know it's scary, but it's going to be okay, I swear to you."

Cassie went out to the car, and returned with a huge box containing everything that any dog owner would ever need, from a bed, to a collar and leash, to food bowls and much more.

"There's something under the tree for both of you," Janet remembered.

Cassie looked under the tree, and found two boxes, one larger than the other. The smaller one she passed to Anna. "It's for you," she told her after reading the tag. "Open it."

Anna opened the box, and in it found a beautiful, Italian leather briefcase. "Oh my God," she said, "it's amazing. I've never seen anything so beautiful. It'll be great when I get a job, I can put all my schoolwork in it."

Sam smiled. "Look inside it, Annie," she instructed, so Annie did.

She lifted out a sheaf of paperwork, and rifled through it. As she did, a huge grin spread across her face. "My green card!" she said. "You did it Sam. You're amazing!" And she came over and kissed Sam on the cheek, being careful not to disturb the small puppy who was now nestling on Sam's lap in a blanket.

"Welcome to the US, Annie," Janet said.

Anna hugged her tight. "You two are just amazing," she said, "thank you so much."

"Your turn, Cass," Janet prompted, full of excitement.

Cassie ripped off the wrapping, and found inside her box a huge stack of medical books. "Sam thought of it," Janet said.

"We both did," Sam corrected. "Tell her Jan," she urged.

"You'll find every text book you need in there," Janet told Cassie. "For your medical degree. You start next semester. It's all paid for. You're going to be a doctor, Cass."

Tears were streaming down Cassie's face, as she turned over each book in her hands. "You can't,"she hiccoughed. "It's too much money. You've only known me a few months."

Janet went over to her and knelt beside her. She took both of her hands in her own. "You're our daughter now, Cassandra. Nothing would make us happier. Sam sold her apartment in Washington, that has more than covered the costs. We know you've always wanted to be a doctor."

Cassie looked up at the two women she now thought of as her parents. "Thank you. So much. I'll make you proud, I swear."

"We're proud already," Sam's voice broke with emotion.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Later that evening, once all the festivities were over and Cassie and Anna were driving Kathryn back, Janet noticed that Sam was missing. She guessed where she might be, and she was right. As she opened the door to the garage, she saw Sam sitting on the bottom step, the puppy still in her strong, tender hands. Sam was talking to the dog, whom they had named Albert earlier in the day.

"Hey Albie," Sam said, stroking the puppy softly. "We're gonna be spending a lot of our time in here. You, me and Janet. Janet is the most amazing woman in the world. She gave me this bike, even though it breaks her heart to see it, just because she wants to see me happy. So we're gonna make it nice for her in here, and for you. We'll get a nice comfortable chair, and a dog basket. And we'll play Bach, and Mozart. We're going to be so happy."

"So who gets the chair and who gets the basket then Sam?" Janet asked in a soft voice.

Sam looked up and saw her lover. She patted the step next to her, and Janet sat down on it, leaning in to Sam. "I'm not sure. I'm sure you and Albie can negotiate when the time comes," she smiled. She kissed Janet softly on the lips. "Thank you honey," her voice was gentle and loving. "I love you."


	34. Chapter 34  A DOG'S LIFE

"Oh crap!" Sam exclaimed on the second Saturday of January as she exited the bathroom. She looked in horror at the sight of Albie the puppy sitting happily on the floor by the closet, chewing enthusiastically on one of Janet's shoes. Naturally the dog had settled on Janet's favorites, a pair of slinky high-heels, which she always wore on nights out when she wanted to look her best.

"Albie!" Sam cried, "why couldn't you have chewed an old pair? Janet's gonna kill me." Fortunately, Janet was on an early shift at the hospital, so she didn't yet know about the destruction the hapless dog had wrought on her footwear. Albie looked up at Sam, startled, a look of concern in his big brown eyes. "Oh Albie," Sam softened, and scooped the puppy into her arms. "I can never stay pissed at you. You didn't know, it's not your fault." And she dropped a kiss on his head. Albie snuffled affectionately in her arms. "We're just gonna have to get her a new pair to make up for it," she told him. "It'll be okay."

Sam wasn't really worried, she knew Janet loved Albie just as much as she did. But she knew she was going to have to do something about it. That was the third time that week that Albie had sneaked upstairs and helped himself to items of their clothing. The first time, it was one of Cassie's socks, which had amused them all no end. And a few days after that, Sam couldn't help but laugh when Albie trotted into the living room, enthusiastically chewing one of her bras. But this time it wasn't quite so funny; she knew how much Janet loved those shoes. Nearly as much as she did, she had to admit to herself; the sight of Janet's legs in them was almost too much to resist. Not that she ever did resist.

So, even though it was a Saturday, and even though she hated shopping as a general rule, Sam headed toward the mall. There was a very expensive shoe store there, and she hoped that she would be able to find a pair of shoes that Janet would like. And even if she didn't get it quite right, Janet could always exchange them. She just wanted Janet to know she had made the effort to make up for Albie's faux pas.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

Two hours later, Sam let herself back into the house, carrying two bags. She had spotted Janet's car in the garage, so she hoped she would be able to give her the new shoes before she had a chance to realize what had happened. She had also dropped in at Victoria's Secret while she was out shopping. Sam was confident that, even if Janet didn't like the shoes, she would like the lingerie she had bought for both of them. She was certainly looking forward to them both trying out the new purchases later that evening.

Sam was surprised not to see Janet in the kitchen. Usually Janet went straight to the coffee machine when she got in from work. Then she heard the unmistakeable Fraiser giggle coming from the living room, so she stuck her head round the corner. She was entranced to see Janet on the couch, a wriggling Albie in her lap, and Janet was teasing Albie with what looked like a new toy. On closer inspection, though, Sam realized that the 'new toy' was in fact Janet's chewed shoe. "You've forgiven him, huh?" Sam said with a laugh.

Janet looked up and grinned. "I tried to scold him," she said, sheepishly, "but he's just so darned... cute!"

"He's a heart-breaker alright," Sam agreed. "But then I've always been a sucker for big, brown eyes," she winked as she spoke.

"Well then you'd better come here and give me a proper 'welcome home' kiss," Janet said with a twinkle, patting the couch next to her. Sam didn't need a second invitation, and she drew her lover into her arms and kissed her soundly. Both women laughed as they felt Albie wriggling on Janet's lap, determined not to be left out of any fun that was to be had.

Sam scooped him up and held him out in front of her. "You don't know how lucky you are, Albert," she said in a mock-strict tone, and then she smiled. "We're both lucky," she told him as she cuddled him to her, "to share our lives with someone who'll even forgive the destruction of her favorite shoes!" She remembered her shopping bags, and reached to the side of the couch. "These are an apology," she told Janet. "From me and Albie. You can exchange them if you don't like them," and she passed over the bag from the shoe store.

"Oh Sam, you didn't have to do that," Janet said, "he's as much my responsibility as he is yours." She opened the bag. "Wow!" she exclaimed, holding up one of the shoes, "you didn't have to do it, but I'm real glad you did. These are spectacular. They're even better than the ones he chewed. Thank you, baby," she kissed Sam gently. "You're so thoughtful. I love them."

"You're not just saying that?" Sam asked anxiously. She knew how particular Janet was about her shoes.

"They're perfect!" Janet insisted, trying them on and walked across the carpet. "How do my legs look in them?" she asked.

Sam's mouth went dry. "Perfect," she replied, her voice husky. "Just perfect. Which reminds me," and she picked up the other bag and handed it over. "Got a little something for each of us from Victoria's Secret," she smiled shyly. "Thought maybe we could try them on later?"

Janet grinned widely when she peeked inside the bag. "Oh yeah," she breathed, "that's a date!"

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

"You look tired, honey," Sam said to Janet as they ate dinner with Cassie and Anna. "You're not working again this weekend, are you?"

"No," Janet said, stifling a yawn. "Not until Tuesday, thank God. It's been a long week, lots happening. I'm glad I've got a couple of days off to catch up on my sleep. And I thought I might go shopping on Monday."

"Shopping?" Sam asked.

Janet smiled. "I thought I'd go to the mall and pick up one of those child safety gates. We can put it on the stairs, so Albie can't sneak up there when we're not looking. It's not fair on him to shut him in the kitchen at night, so this way he can wander around downstairs, and we can keep him out of the closets!"

Sam looked embarrassed, and Cassie and Anna laughed. "You just don't want him chewing your new shoes, Janet," Cassie said.

"I certainly don't," Janet said. "They're the best shoes I've ever had. I'm saving them for special occasions."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

"Where's that Victoria's Secret bag then?" Janet winked saucily at Sam as they entered their bedroom that night.

Sam pulled her to her, and kissed her very softly. "You're exhausted, baby," she said gently. "Perhaps tomorrow would be better?"

Janet shook her head. "Now," she said in a quiet voice. "I've been looking forward to it all afternoon. And I've got all day tomorrow and Monday to catch up on my sleep. Please?" she looked pleadingly up at her taller lover. "Unless you're not in the mood."

Sam smiled. "Whatever you want, hon," she said. "I'm always in the mood, you know that. Nearly always, anyways. The bag's in the closet."

"I'll just get it, huh?" Janet smiled.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

It was nearly 2am by the time Sam and Janet finally fell off to sleep, so when Janet's beeper went off at 4.30am, she didn't stir. Sam heard it though, and snatched it off the nightstand. "Call hospital," the line of text read. Sam decided to call herself; she wanted to see if there was any chance that Janet could be spared extra work.

Sam was disappointed, though. She called the hospital, and discovered that there had been a multi-vehicle pile-up on the interstate, and that Janet was urgently needed to help deal with the casualties. "Okay," she said reluctantly, "she'll be right there." And she went to wake her lover. "Jan?" she said softly, rubbing her arm to rouse her gently from her sleep, "they need you in at work baby."

Janet sat up, and blinked blearily. "Wha'? she asked.

"Hospital, bad traffic accident," Sam told her. "They want you in."

Janet was immediately awake. "Can you get me some clothes out while I shower?" she asked Sam, who immediately complied. Once she had laid out Janet's clothing, Sam shrugged on an old pair of sweatpants and a baggy sweater. She went down into the kitchen and made Janet coffee, which she put in a plastic mug and carried out to the car. She set the coffee in the cup holder in the car, and started the engine. It was a cold morning, and she wanted the car to be warm by the time Janet got into it. Sam had just returned into the house as Janet came down the stairs. "I'll see you later sweetie," Janet told her.

"Uh uh," Sam said. "No way. I'm driving you in. Coffee's in the car waiting for you."

Janet's heart melted at her lover's thoughtfulness. She was going to protest, but she knew it was fruitless. "Thank you, Sam," she said. "You're one in a million."

Janet rested her left hand on Sam's right hand as they drove. "I hate the traffic accidents," Janet said in a quiet voice, breaking the silence.

"I know you do," Sam's voice was equally somber. "Too many stories, huh? Real people?"

Janet nodded miserably. Sam squeezed her hand, saying nothing. She knew it was pointless to say anything. Janet had never managed to develop a hard shell in all the years she had been a doctor; she always cared too much about the patients for her own good.

As Sam drew up to the hospital entrance, she turned to Janet. "Call me," she said, "when you're ready to come home. Of if you just want to talk."

Janet kissed her, and set off at a run for the emergency department. Sam hated seeing her go, but she knew that Janet was one of the best in the business. She also knew that Janet's compassion, as well as her medical skill, would be invaluable in the next few hours. She just hoped it didn't take too much out of her.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

By 4pm, Sam had still not heard from Janet. "I'm going in," she told Cassie and Anna. "I don't know how long she's going to be, but I need to be near her. If she calls," she instructed the girls, "tell her I'll be waiting in her office."

Cassie hugged Sam fiercely. "Tell her we love her, huh?" she said. Sam nodded. She was amazed how, in just a few short months, her 'daughter' and daughter's lover had become such an integral part of their family; she could no longer imagine life without Cassie and Anna.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

It was nearly 6pm when Janet let herself back into her office, exhausted and emotionally drained. She shut the door behind her, and closed her eyes, not seeing Sam in the corner. "Oh God," her voice broke, "where are you Sam when I need you?" she said to herself.

"I'm right here, baby," Sam said tenderly, approaching her lover. "I'm right here," and she took Janet in her strong arms and held her tight. Janet melted into her touch, and started to sob.

"It was awful, Sam," she told her. "Just awful."

"Shh," Sam soothed, leading her to the small couch in the office. "I know, Jan, I know. Let it out." She rubbed her hand soothingly up and down Janet's back, trying to give her some of her own strength. "It's tragic when these things happen. If I were ever caught up in something awful like that, you're just the kind of doctor I would want. You make a difference Jan. Never forget that."

Janet nodded miserably. "Home?" her voice shook.

Sam took her by the hand, putting her own coat over Janet's shaking shoulders. "C'mon sweetie," she said, "we'll be back real soon."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

After a long, hot bath together, Sam and Janet climbed into their big bed. Sam held Janet tight as she drifted off to sleep.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

"Is it morning already?" Sam laughed as Janet passed her a cup of coffee.

"It is," Janet smiled. "And I have the day off, while you have to go into work!"

"You need the downtime," Sam said, seriously. "Are you feeling a bit better today?"

Janet nodded. "I'm sorry about last night, sweetie," she replied, "things just got on top of me."

Sam took her hand. "Never apologize for caring, Jan," she said, earnestly. "You wouldn't be you if things didn't get to you. Can you just take it easy today, honey? Maybe sleep a bit more?"

Janet smiled. "I'm okay Sam, really I am. I might have a nap, I'll see how the day goes."

"Well my last lesson starts at 2.30pm today," Sam told her. "So I'll stop by the store and pick up the gate for Albie. I'll be home by 4pm, I can do paperwork from home."

"I love you Sam," Janet said simply.

So Janet used her day to relax and recuperate from her traumatic weekend. She took Albie for a long walk in the morning, and had just awoken from a nap when Sam came home, holding the stair gate in one hand. Sam fixed the gate onto the stairs while Janet brewed the coffee, and then they spent the next few hours in companionable silence in the living room, Janet sitting on the couch with Albie on her lap, while Sam marked a pile of tests. By the time Cassie and Anna came back, the atmosphere was relaxed and comfortable.

By 9pm, Janet was flagging slightly again, so Sam steered her upstairs. "An early night won't do you any harm, honey," Sam told her firmly. So Janet complied, and they climbed into bed together.

"Sam?" Janet asked.

"Yeah?" Sam replied.

"I've been thinking," Janet continued. "About that gate."

Sam was intrigued. "What about it baby?" she asked.

"Well," Janet was tentative. "What would you say if we found another use for it?"

Sam just looked confused.

"Well, not another use, exactly," Janet said. "The same use. But it's a child safety gate," she swallowed nervously. "Have you ever thought about us having a child of our own? As well as Cassie, that is?"

A slow grin spread across Sam's face. "Have a baby?" she asked. "Us? I think that's a fantastic idea. Oh Janet, d'you think we can do it?"

"I want us to try," Janet's voice shook slightly. "I really do, if you do too that is."

"I do," Sam said firmly, "I don't think there's anything I'd like more."

Janet smiled widely. "There's lots for us to discuss, who's going to carry it, what we do about the father, how many kids we want."

"I want lots of them," Sam said firmly. "Well, at least two, if we can manage it. Maybe more. Janet?" Sam asked.

Janet looked up. "Will you have the baby?" Sam asked her. "The first one at least. You'd be such an amazing mom. And I want to see you pregnant, carrying our child. What do you think, sweetie?"

"I'd love to," Janet replied quietly. "If that's what you'd like too."

"It is," Sam said. "Oh my God, are we really going to do this?"

"I think so," Janet started to laugh, "I really do think so. Here," she took Sam's hand and pressed it against her own, flat stomach. "If we're lucky, sometime soon our baby's gonna be in here. And I'm gonna get all big and fat and frumpy."

"You'll never be frumpy, Jan," Sam said seriously. "You're going to look amazing." She ran her hand along the smooth skin. "In my old timeline, you had a scar right here," she pressed just under Janet's rib cage. "It looked a lot like mine, actually," she said, referring to the residual scarring from her near-death experience at the hands of the Ori. "Shit, that was the worst day of my life," she remembered. "I really thought I was going to lose you."

"What happened, Sam?" Janet asked quietly.

"It was awful," Sam said, her throat constricting. "SG-1 were all on a planet called P3R-666. We were ambushed," she remembered the frightening speed with which the seemingly uninhabited planet had become overrun with hostiles. "We had a man down, from another SG team. Simon Wells, his name was. He had terrible injuries, nobody expected him to survive. You saved him though, baby. You were so brave, tending to him under fire. He named his baby after you, you know that?"

Janet took Sam's hand. "What happened, baby?" she asked softly.

"You took a shot," Sam tried to blank the picture from her mind. "Right here," she pressed gently on the spot. "Nobody thought you'd survive. Thank God we had a healing device. It took weeks, three sessions with the device each day. But slowly you came back to me. Shit, Jan," Sam was close to tears, "I don't know how you coped when you lost the first Sam. I don't think I could live without you."

"My life was empty before you came along," Janet said quietly. "I tried to move on. But it's not possible really, I don't think. You gave me a second chance of happiness. I'm not going to waste that."

"So we look into all the options then?" Sam asked, hope in her eyes. "For the pregnancy, I mean."

"Yeah," Janet smiled. "We'll look it all up, and then we'll sit down on the weekend and really talk about it all?"

"There's one problem," Sam was smiling as she spoke, so Janet knew it wouldn't be anything serious. "Albie's gonna be pissed when he's no longer the baby of the house!"

Janet grinned. "Just as long as he's house-trained before the baby comes along," she laughed. "I am not dealing with two lots of diapers!"


	35. Chapter 35 DOMESTIC IDYLL

"You okay sweetie?" Sam was solicitous as she helped Janet back to the bedroom. It was 4am, and it was the third morning in a row that Janet had awoken at an ungodly hour and been propelled toward the bathroom with violent morning sickness.

"Still glad the insemination worked?" Janet asked drily as she climbed back under the covers. "You're seeing me at my most glamorous."

Sam climbed in next to her and wrapped one arm tenderly round her shoulders, pulling her to her. "You're still beautiful," she said softly as she dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

"You're a lousy liar, Sam," Janet chuckled slightly, "but thank you for lying."

"How d'you feel now?" Sam asked her.

"Better," Janet said, "I'll be glad when this part of the pregnancy is over. Another few weeks, no more, I hope," Janet prayed that she wasn't going to be one of the unfortunate minority who suffered for the whole nine months. But she didn't care if she was. She and Sam were having a baby, that was all that mattered. It had taken three attempts, and she was beginning to despair that it was ever going to work. So that particular morning six weeks ago, when they had both seen the blue line appear on the pregnancy testing kit, was one neither of them would forget.

"Think you can sleep a bit more?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, with you here I can," Janet's voice was already drowsy as she burrowed into her lover's embrace.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

Cassie and Anna were delighted when Sam and Janet had told them they were considering having a baby, and were even more thrilled when the pregnancy was confirmed. "So that's why you offered us a place to live," she teased Sam, "just so's you'd have a couple of built-in babysitters!"

Sam grinned in reply. "Damned straight," she said, with a wink. "And you'll be first on the list when it comes to diaper-duty too!"

Anna punched Cassie gently. "You're just terrible," she told her, and she bounded up to Sam and Janet, enveloping them both in a huge hug. "It's great news," she said, "the best. We already know what great moms you both are, this baby's going to have a great life."

Sam smiled sadly. She prayed that this was the case. She was happy about the baby - happier than she had ever imagined she could be - but at the same time she couldn't shake the niggling worry about what Ba'al might do. She had tried to convince herself that something dramatic had happened to him in the past 70 years, and in truth the evidence did suggest that the threat from him was non-existent. But still she worried, especially now that the stakes were even higher.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

"Thank you," Janet said softly as she snuggled into Sam's arms that night.

"For what?" Sam asked, her arm tightening round Janet's shoulders.

"For your patience," Janet replied. "I know our sex life has gone down the toilet... literally," she gave a hollow chuckle. "I'm just not interested in making love at the moment. So I want to thank you, for not pushing it."

Sam kissed her softly. "I only want to make love to you when you want to make love," she said in a gentle tone. "And it's only natural, honey, with all the things happening to you right now. It's okay, sweetie, really it is. The only thing that's really important to me is that I get to hold you, and I'm doing that right now."

Janet smiled tenderly. "I love you so much, Sam," she told her. "And I'll get my mojo back soon, I know I will."

"You're worth waiting for, Jan," Sam said. "And when this one," she ran her hand along Janet's still flat stomach "finally makes his or her appearance, it will all have been worth it."

"Yeah," Janet mused contentedly. "It really will, won't it?"

"Sleep now baby," Sam instructed gently. "I think we know you're gonna be up early in the morning tomorrow."

Janet grimaced. "God I hope not," she said, "but I think I probably will."

The morning sickness continued unabated for the next five weeks, leaving Janet even more tired than she would have been. But Sam was tender and gentle with her, and helped her in every way she could. That first morning when Janet finally woke up feeling good was even more of a relief to Sam than it was to Janet; Sam hated seeing Janet suffer, and felt helpless and somehow responsible. Just a few days after the nausea had finally subsided, Janet also rediscovered her interest in the bedroom, which was good news for both of them.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

"You realize Albie's gonna be pissed when the baby comes, don't you?" Cassie was laughing as she spoke. "I mean, he won't be the baby any more."

"Oh I don't think Albie has anything to worry about," Sam grinned, the young dog in her lap, chewing enthusiastically on her thumb. "Albie'll always be my baby, and I think he knows that," she planted a kiss on top of the dog's head. Cassie could have sworn Albie smiled at these attentions.

"There's room in the house for more than one baby," Janet smiled, "and if we ever ran out room, we'd move, wouldn't we Sam?"

"Just how many kids are you planning on having Janet?" Cassie demanded.

"Eight!" Sam replied with a laugh.

"Ten," Janet said at the same time.

"How many would we need for a baseball team?" Sam asked. "I think we should aim for that."

Janet smiled widely, and reached up for a kiss. "One at a time, huh, baby?" she said to Sam. Sam nodded happily. "Anyways," Janet reminded her, "you're having the next one, remember? My body needs time to recover."

"Your body's perfect as it is," Sam ran her hand appreciatively over Janet's stomach, which was just starting to soften.

Janet leaned forward and whispered in Sam's ear, "You just like the fact that my breasts are huge right now," she said, in a suggestive voice.

Sam nodded. "Damned straight I do," she said, her mouth suddenly dry.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

"I want to call Daniel," Sam said, out of the blue that night. "I know we've been talking on the email, but I want to hear his voice. And I want him to know all about our family. He knows the facts, of course he does," she went on, "but I want him to meet Anna. And Cassie. He knows Cassie from the old timeline, but I want him to see this Cassie. And I want you to meet him. You were such good friends," she took Janet's hand. "He loved you like a sister. I want him to see how happy we are."

"Well, call then him, baby," Janet said in a gentle voice. She knew how much Sam still missed parts of her old timeline. She was pleased that Sam seemed generally content with her lot, but she knew that she still missed the professional fulfilment she had had before. More than that, she missed 'the guys' terribly. Sam would often talk of O'Neill, and Teal'c. But most often she talked about Daniel, with whom she had shared a special bond as compassionate scientists on SG-1. "The authorities can't want to keep you apart any longer. You've both re-started your lives, and it's not like you'll want to reinstate the old timeline, not just for the sake of it. I tell you what, Sam," Janet had an idea. "Mid-term holidays are next week, you've got the whole week as vacation. Why don't you ask Daniel to come stay for a few days? You can spend a day or two with him on your own, and then I'll take a couple of days too, and we'll all do something together. The girls too. Maybe take a trip. Whatever," she trailed off.

Sam smiled. "I think that's a great idea. D'you think he'll want to come?"

"Of course he'll come!" Janet said firmly. "If he's anything like you say he is, he'll be desperate to see you. You two were just about best friends, weren't you?"

Sam shook her head. "You were my best friend," she took Janet's hand. "You always have been. You always will be."

Janet kissed her. "Okay, he was the best friend you had who you weren't sleeping with!" she grinned. "Unless there's something you want to tell me?"

Sam grinned back. "Wouldn't you like to know, baby?" she winked, and left the room, in search of the telephone. She loved Cassie and Anna with all her heart, but one thing she had noticed since they had moved in, the 'phone was never in its cradle. She smiled to herself; it was a small price to pay for the happy family that they had all built together.

"He's coming Tuesday!" Sam announced, triumphantly when she came back into the room. Her cheeks were flushed with excitement. "Staying until Friday. Isn't that great, Jan?"

Janet smiled. "I can't wait to meet him," she said, "he's such an important part of your past. I want to know all about him. I want him to tell me all about you, too," she said. "What it was like for him, working with you. What you were like at the SGC."

Sam laughed. "I must remember to bribe him to say nice things about me," she smiled. A thought crossed her mind. "It'll be okay with Cassie, won't it?" she looked anxiously over at Janet. "I mean, she knew the 'other' Daniel. Well, she still knows him. It just seems he let her down some, going off to Egypt, leaving her to cope on her own. This Daniel would never do that. I don't know what was different about his history in this timeline, but one thing I'm sure of is that the Daniel I know would go to the ends of the Earth to protect Cassie. Further, even."

Janet held out her arms, and Sam stepped into her embrace. "Cassie'll be fine," she whispered reassuringly to Sam. "If you love Daniel as much as you say you do, then we all will too. Even Albie!"

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

"She did what?" Janet demanded. "Where?"

Daniel grinned. "P3X-595!" he said with a laugh. "Sam drank some... stuff. She suddenly decided she wanted to go skinny dipping. Jack was pissed with her."

"So what happened?" Cassie asked, her curiosity piqued. She knew Sam was by no means prudish, but she couldn't imagine this very together woman losing control in the workplace and streaking in front of her work colleagues."

Sam was blushing furiously. "Never mind what happened," she said, "it was nearly 12 years ago. And I was under an alien influence."

Daniel smiled. "I'll just say that it was one of the pleasanter experiences I've had on a mission," he said. "There's nothing like the sight of a beautiful woman diving naked into clear water to restore your faith in God," he said.

Anna took pity on Sam, who looked mortified. "Hey Sam," she touched her arm gently. "You're not the only woman in this room who's taken her clothes off due to an alien influence," she winked at Cassie, who choked on her coffee.

"Not fair!" Cassie retorted indignantly. "You're supposed to be on my side!"

Anna grinned evilly.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

All too soon, Daniel's last night came around. Sensing that Sam and Daniel could do with some time alone, Janet and the girls shooed them out of the kitchen. "You two sit down," Janet instructed, "we'll do the dishes."

"You've got a beautiful family, Sam," Daniel told her when they were sitting in the living room. "And a growing one," he smiled. "You and Janet will be wonderful mothers. You already are," he nodded toward the kitchen. "Cassie's real happy, and not just because of Anna," he said. "I can't believe the me from this reality just abandoned her," he said sadly.

"Maybe it was meant to be?" Sam suggested. "I mean, if the Daniel from here had stayed around, maybe Cassie wouldn't have traveled, and maybe we'd never have met her. It all seems to have worked out."

Daniel nodded. "How much do you think about the old SG-1, Sam?" he asked. "Do you miss it?"

Sam was thoughtful. "Yeah," she said slowly. "There's lot of stuff I miss. You, I missed most of all. But also Jack, and Teal'c. If I'm honest, I still miss the work some. But I'm happier than I thought I could be when we first got here. I've got Janet, and Cassie, and Annie. And we're having a baby," she smiled warmly.

"Do you ever think about changing the timeline?" Daniel asked, probingly.

"Yeah, I think about it sometimes," Sam admitted. "But I'm not sure it would be a good idea now. Maybe Landry was right, why should we think we have the right? We just don't know what's happened in the last 70 years. Ba'al may not be a threat at all. And we made a lot of enemies through the Stargate, maybe now nobody thinks we're a threat?"

Daniel nodded again. "It's difficult to know what's right," he said, "but I think you're right. As long as we don't see any evidence of Ba'al, then perhaps it's best to let things go on as they are. And some things might even be better. They're better for Jack, no doubt. He never lost Charlie, he's still married to Sara. And you've worked things out with Janet, haven't you? It's awful that she lost the 'first' Sam, but she's happy now, I can tell."

"I sure am," Janet said as she came into the living room bearing a tray of coffee. "I've never been happier," she put a soft hand on Sam's arm. "And it's only gonna get better from here. Which reminds me, Daniel," she said. "Sam and I were talking last night. There's something we wanna ask you."

"What's that?" Daniel asked, intrigued by the serious look on Sam and Janet's faces.

"It's this baby," Sam said. "We want you to be its godfather. When the time comes. We can't think of anybody better."

Daniel was too moved to speak. He nodded. "Yeah," he said eventually, "I'd love to."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

The next day, the whole family gathered to wish goodbye to Daniel. "Don't be a stranger," Janet said to him as she hugged him fiercely. "We want to see you all the time."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

"Shit," Janet said, as she cleared the kitchen after lunch. "Who puts back an empty box of Froot Loops in the closet?"

Sam grinned. "I think that might have been me, baby," she said. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking this morning, I was too busy talking. But I know I emptied it. I've got to go out to the hardware store, to get some more latches," Sam was busy baby-proofing the house, although there were still months to go until the baby was due. "I'll stop by the market, pick some more up. Is there anything else we need?"

"Are you sure you don't mind, Sam?" Janet asked. "I was only kidding about the empty box; I know that you eccentric geniuses sometimes do crazy things!"

"I'm happy to go," Sam said, "just so long as there are no more comments about me being over-prepared for this baby." She took Janet in her arms, kissing her softly, and then reaching down and kissing her belly. "I just want everything to be right, for all of us."

Janet had to turn away so that Sam didn't see the tears in her eyes. She had become ridiculously over-emotional since getting pregnant, the slightest thing brought her to tears. "I'll do you a list," she said to Sam, her voice husky.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

As Sam exited the market, she headed to the trunk of the car. As she cranked it open, she heard a sudden noise that chilled her to the bone. She looked up into the sky and saw an al'kesh flying low. Even as she grabbed her cellphone, she knew that this marked the end of everything as she knew it. She could barely keep the anguish out of her voice as she spoke. "Put me through to your commanding officer. Tell him it's Colonel Carter. I need to speak to him now."


	36. Chapter 36 TOGETHER

"Get all you needed, hon? Is this house going to be like an infant Fort Knox?" Janet grinned as she spoke. She knew Sam's main reason for going out was to purchase latches to child-proof the house.

"Jan," Sam's tone was serious. Her lover looked up from her newspaper, and saw the look of shock on Sam's face.

"Sam?" Janet asked, her blood running cold. She had never seen Sam look so devastated. "Sam, baby, what is it?" and she leapt to her feet, putting a reassuring hand on her lover's arm. She was shocked to realize Sam was ice cold and shaking slightly.

"It's happening," Sam said in a quiet voice. "The invasion. Ba'al. He's here. Oh God, Janet," she tried to stifle a sob. "Everything's gonna change."

Janet took her in her arms, the tension in Sam's body tangible. The two women just stood there in the living room, not speaking, just holding each other very tight. Eventually, Janet pulled away slightly. She reached up and very softly stroked Sam's cheek. "So what happens now baby?" her voice shook as she spoke.

"I go to Washington," Sam said miserably. "Flight leaves in four hours. I'll meet up with Daniel and Cam. We're going to try and fix it, if we possibly can. I've no idea how we'll do it. Honestly, Jan," tears sprang to her eyes, "I don't think we can. But we have to try," her voice was harsh. "We can't not try. And you," her voice hitched, "you stay here, with Cass and Anna. And Kathryn. Look after each other, stay together. And try to remember; even if the worst happens, it may not be for ever. We may be able to change the timeline. So it might be like none of this ever happened. Does that make sense?"

"No," Janet said in a mutinous tone. "It doesn't make sense."

Sam opened her mouth to explain.

"No!" Janet almost shouted. "I understand all that ... timeline ... _shit_. You might be able to take us all back to your old timeline. I get that. I'm not stupid," her voice rose further. "But what doesn't make sense, Sam, is us being apart. That'll never make sense. In any timeline."

"I don't want you in any danger, sweetie," Sam tried to protest. "You're pregnant."

"So are you telling me that whatever happens this baby'll be alright if I stay here?" Janet spat.

"No," Sam said miserably. "I can't promise you that, you know I can't Jan. But I can't bear to see you put in danger. You and our baby. This mission's gonna be dangerous, honey, I can't put you at risk."

"Tell me honestly, Sam," Janet's voice was eerily calm. "What do you think the chances are you'll defeat Ba'al? In this timeline? No bullshit, just the truth."

"The truth?" Sam gulped. "The chance is very slim. We don't have the resources. The Stargate program is in its absolute infancy. It would have been hell of a difficult in my old timeline. And there we'd been going through the Stargate for over a decade. Slim to none, I'd say."

"And the chances of you, Daniel and Cameron surviving? You coming back to me?"

"Same," Sam said quietly. "Oh God, Jan," she took her hand. "I know it's awful. But I've got to say goodbye to you in an hour. And it'll likely be for the last time. Unless we can persuade the President to let us change the timeline, which I doubt. We're screwed baby," tears were coursing down her face. "We're screwed."

"Then you have to take me with you," Janet said. "You have to. Sam, listen to me." She looked deep into Sam's blue eyes. "I can't do it again, ever. Losing my first Sam nearly killed me. I can't say goodbye to you again. I can't. And I won't. Face it, Sam, there's a very good chance we're gonna die anyway, am I right?"

Sam nodded, unable to speak.

"Then I want to die by your side. Not sitting in this living room, without you. And we just might succeed in changing the timeline, right?"

Sam nodded again.

"In which case none of this will matter. I have to go with you, to be with you. You can't take that away from me Sam, I won't let you. Surely you know my life is pointless without you?"

"Okay," Sam said quietly. "Okay. We'll go together. We will. I swear. I'll book you a ticket."

"I'm going upstairs to pack a bag for both of us," Janet said, relief flooding through her. "You call the airline."

"Jan?" Sam looked anguished.

"Yes, sweetie?" Janet asked, her tone gentle and loving.

"You realize what this means?" Sam said. "Even if we do manage to change the timeline, none of this," she caressed Janet's bump, "will ever have happened. Our baby..."

"I know," Janet's voice was husky. "I know that baby. But if we succeed, we'll still be together, right? And Cassie and Annie'll be okay? And Mom?"

"Yeah," Sam said.

"Then we'll do it all over baby," Janet said. "The pregnancy, everything."

"Suppose we don't think of it?" Sam knew she was being dumb. "We might not realize how happy it'd make us. I don't think I've ever been so happy, Jan."

Janet put her arms round her lover. "We will think of it Sam. I know it." She reached up and kissed Sam, softly and tenderly. "I'm going up to pack. When are the girls due back?"

"They should be back already," Sam told her, visibly pulling herself together. "I'll call Cassie's cell, tell her we need to see them urgently."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

"I'll tell you all about it when you get here, Cass," Sam tried to stop her voice from shaking.

"We'll be five minutes," Cassie said. "Are you okay Sam?"

"Not really," Sam said. "It's big. I'm so sorry honey. Just get back here, huh?"

Cassie hung up the phone. "Something really bad has happened," she told Anna. "I don't know what it is. But Sam sounded terrible."

Anna looked at Cassie, and pressed her foot to the gas. "Just a few minutes, Cass," she said reassuringly.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

"Invasion?" Cassie was aghast. "But I thought that wasn't going to happen?"

"That's what I'd hoped," Sam said quietly. "And I'm so sorry, Cass, Annie. I was wrong."

She explained all she knew to the younger women. "I'm gonna need you two to be brave now," she said as she finished her explanation. "Janet and I are going to Washington. I really don't know what's going to happen here. I do know, though, that none of it's gonna be good."

"What can we do to help?" Anna was the first to pull herself together.

"Love each other," Sam said simply. "Stay together. And remember, even if the worst does happen, it might still be okay. If we can change the timeline."

"I trust you Sam," Cassie said. "You'll fix it all."

"It's not that simple, Cass," Sam looked at her sadly.

"I know," Cassie replied. "I still trust you." And she took her adoptive mother in her arms and held her tight. "And I love you, and Janet. We both do."

Anna nodded her agreement.

"We leave in 20 minutes for the airport," Janet said.

"We'll drive you," Anna spoke up. "And then we'll go get Kathryn, won't we Cassie? We should all be together. Whatever the outcome."

"Yeah," Cassie agreed. "That's a great idea. Kathryn can come stay here. Anyway," she tried desperately to lessen the tension. "We'll need her in the kitchen, if you're going Janet," her smile didn't quite reach her eyes, but at least she was trying.

The four women met in a tight embrace.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

"Don't wait with us," Janet told Cassie in a quiet voice as they unloaded their single back from the trunk. "Sam's tense enough."

"Okay," Cassie agreed. She wanted to stay as long as she could with Sam and Janet, but she understood that a long, drawn-out farewell would only make it harder on her mothers.

"I love you, just as much as if you were my blood. Both of you," Sam told Cassie and Anna. "You've brought us so much joy. Thank you."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

"Oh God," Sam turned to Janet as the car pulled away. She could see Cassie and Anna's faces, as well as Albie looking out the back window.

"I know, baby, I know," Janet was trying to be strong for her lover. "I know. We've just got to hold it together now, if we possibly can. C'mon Sam," and she slipped her hand in Sam's, leading her toward the check-in desk.

Within half an hour, they were checked in and had gone through to the departures lounge. They sat silently, side by side, their fingers interlaced. When the tannoy sounded and informed them that their flight was delayed by two hours, Janet saw all the color run from Sam's face. "Sam?" Janet squeezed her fingers.

Sam just turned and looked at her, her eyes liquid. A single tear escaped and ran unchecked down her cheek. "What if we're too late?" her voice was a whisper.

Janet brushed away the tear with her thumb. "We can only do our best, baby, we have no control over this," Janet reminded her. She could see how tense Sam was trying to keep a check on her emotions. She had an idea. She stood up, her hand still in Sam's, and pulled her gently to her feet. "Come with me," she said quietly, leading Sam to the bathroom. She pushed her into one of the larger stalls, stepping in behind her. The stall was huge, as it had been built to accommodate a luggage trolley. She took Sam in her arms. "Let it go, baby," she told her, kissing her softly, "let it go."

So Sam wept in her lover's arms. When she placed her hand over Janet's slightly swollen belly and pressed protectively, her sobbing increased in intensity. Janet realized that she was weeping for the baby who might never be, and that realization tipped her over the edge too. Soon they were both weeping uncontrollably.

After an age, they stopped, but remained tightly wound in their embrace. "Feel better, hon?" Janet's voice was muffled as her face was buried in Sam's front.

"Yeah," Sam said. "You?"

"Yeah," Janet agreed. "I do. I really do."

"I never want to let you go," Sam admitted, her arms still holding Janet firmly. "I wish we could stay here for ever."

"Right back at you, baby," Janet said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

Sam looked round the aircraft. She felt as though she was in limbo. None of the other passengers, or the cabin crew, were aware of the precariousness of their situation. The al'kesh had been reported on the national news as a UFO, which had sent the geeks into a frenzy. Nobody, it seemed, realized that it likely meant the end of civilization as they knew it.

Janet shifted in her sleep; almost as soon as the aircraft had taken off, she had fallen to sleep in Sam's arms. Sam realized that being strong for both of them had taken more out of Janet than she had thought. She ran her hand lightly through Janet's hair. Janet murmured in her sleep, her hand involuntarily seeking out Sam's and squeezing her fingers.

"For ever," Sam whispered into Janet's hair. "We'll be together for ever. I swear to you."


	37. Chapter 37 RESET

Despite himself, President Hayes looked amused. "So, Colonel, what you're telling me is that unless," he looked down at the piece of paper he was holding, "unless Dr Fraiser accompanies you on this mission, you aren't prepared to go."

"That's correct Sir," Sam's expression was mulish. She knew he wasn't in any position to make demands.

"Even with the fate of the world at stake?" he asked.

"It's non-negotiable, Sir," Sam said firmly.

He smiled. "Well it just so happens I've already decided that having a medic along for the ride can only be a good thing," he said. "Permission granted."

Sam allowed herself a small smile.

"The ships in orbit are called al'kesh. They serve both as scouts and as ground-support bombers," Mitchell explained to the president.

"And they're nothing compared to what's coming next," Sam added. "Have you located the Stargate?"

"We couldn't locate the one you sent down, but we did manage to find the other one, in Antarctica. It's still there," Hayes told them. "the Navy suggested, and I agreed, what better place to build a facility and start a testing program in complete secrecy than McMurdo base? Look, when I was first briefed on you three, I thought my Chief of Staff was yanking my chain. I didn't believe him the second time, either. Finally, he had to bring in the National Security Advisor to convince me that he wasn't kidding. On page two thousand and something of the brief, one of you, I can't remember which, talks about how I handled a similar invasion in your timeline to the one that might happen here."

"Of course," said Daniel, "in our case, you had the benefit of an operational Stargate Program for about seven years."

"To be fair," Sam reminded him, "it was actually the Ancient weapons platform in Antarctica that saved us. But if we were to consider getting that to work, we'd need a fully charged Zero Point Module."

Janet didn't understand most of what was being said. But she did understand that what they were talking about was big. Real big. Before she knew it, they were off, planning to steal a cargo ship - whatever that was - in order to retrieve a ZPM. Whatever the hell that was. All she cared about was being with Sam, and being useful to the mission if she possibly could.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"We should all be together at this time," Kathryn said to Cassie and Anna as soon as she opened her door to them. "I agree. I'm all packed."

"How did you know?" Cassie was astounded. They hadn't called Kathryn before leaving to collect her, so she couldn't have known they were on their way.

"I saw the news reports on the TV," Kathryn said. "And I know as well as you do that that wasn't a UFO, was it? It's what Sam was so frightened of, isn't it."

Cassie nodded, miserably. "It's happening, the invasion" she said. "Sam said all we can do is just stay together. She said she's gonna do everything she can, but she didn't look happy Kathryn. She said that our only real chance is if they can repair the timeline. There's nothing we can do now."

"Nothing except love each other," Kathryn's voice was gentle. "Have faith in her Cassandra," she said, "Sam's an incredible woman. My bet is she's going to succeed." Kathryn took a deep breath, knowing the answer to the next question. "My little J's gone with her, huh?"

Cassie nodded again. "Sam tried to stop her, but Janet wouldn't listen."

"Good," Kathryn said, unexpectedly.

Cassie looked surprised.

"They should be together, whatever happens," Kathryn said. "I don't think J could survive losing her again, I really don't. And if they succeed it's all good. And if," she swallowed, "we all die, then they should be together when that happens too. You'd want that too, wouldn't you Cassie? Anna?"

"I certainly would," Anna said with feeling. "I do. I want to be by your side, Cass, now more than ever. I want us all to be together. I understand that Sam had to go, had to try, and that Janet had to go with her. But nothing," her voice cracked, "nothing in this world will keep me from being with you sweetheart."

"We should go," Cassie said, her voice thick with emotion. "Anyway," she tried to brighten, "Albie's in the car, we've got to get back to it before he chews it to pieces."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"You okay back there, Jan?" Sam was worried that Janet was unnaturally quiet in the back seat of the F-15.

"I'm fine, Sam," Janet told her. "Just keepin' quiet so you can concentrate."

Sam smiled. Her smile fell, however, when over the radio they heard "McMurdo has been destroyed. Return to your previous position and stand by for further instructions."

"Shit," Sam said. "What further instructions can there be, other than, 'Kiss your ass goodbye'?" her voice was bitter.

Janet was startled to hear Sam talk like that; it wasn't like her, she never gave up. But Sam did as instructed, and banked the aircraft and headed back in the direction from which they had come, followed by Mitchell and Daniel in the other F-15.

They stopped 15 minutes later to refuel. Just after refueling, however, the tanker that had supplied them was hit by an energy weapon and immediately exploded. They took evasive action away from the hostiles, and were just trying to work out their best course of action when they received a radio signal from President Hayes.

"Of course," Sam cursed herself for not thinking of it before, "the Russian 'gate. It's our only option."

Not for the first time, Janet had no idea what was happening. But she did recognize the optimistic tone of Sam's voice, and her heart lifted.

Somehow, the two F-15s made it through the enemy fire; Janet couldn't help but be impressed by Sam's flying abilities, though she had to shut her eyes when they were flying what seemed like only inches above the sea at one hell of a speed.

Eventually, after several hours and God only knew how many close calls, they landed at the Russian military base. Sam saw Janet's white face as they descended from the aircraft. There was no time to talk, however, as they ran for a nearby truck. Once inside, Sam placed a gentle hand over Janet's, squeezing her fingers. "I love you," she whispered.

If Janet had thought that most of the action was over after landing, she was very much mistaken. Within minutes they arrived at the most incredible sight Janet had ever seen. "My God," she whispered, "so that's a Stargate."

Sam nodded, but looked panicked. It turned out there was no power to make the 'gate work.

Minutes later, however, a set of rings activated, depositing Teal'c and two Jaffa in the room. Janet was astounded; she had never imagined such technology. "It's Teal'c," Sam whispered to her. Janet knew all about Teal'c from Sam's stories, but this man didn't look anything like the gentle giant she had been led to expect; this man was a harsh warrior, ready, and it seemed, willing to kill whoever got in his way.

Eventually Sam managed to negotiate with Teal'c. She pushed Janet toward the Stargate. "It's okay, baby," she told her as they all stepped through the open wormhole to the planet Praxyon.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Kathryn organized dinner for Cassie and Anna, the two younger women happily taking instruction on what to do, what to chop etc. As they sat down at the table, Kathryn reached out and took one of each of their hands in hers. "Have faith," she said. "Have faith in Sam. In God. In each other."

Cassie and Anna just nodded. "'kay," Cassie said after an age.

When they had finished eating, Kathryn took charge. "We're not gonna do the dishes tonight," she said firmly. "If," and she knew there was a good chance it wouldn't happen, "if they, and we, are still there tomorrow morning, we'll do them then. I'm taking Albie out to stretch his legs and pee. You two head upstairs. Just be together. That's what Sam and J want you to do."

Cassie and Anna tried to protest, but Kathryn wouldn't listen.

Cassie turned to Anna as she shut the bedroom door. "So this is it, d'you think Annie?"

Anna looked as scared as Cassie felt. "I think it probably is. We're just going to have to try and be brave, aren't we?"

"Yeah," Cassie replied in a small voice. "Just how do we do that?"

Anna stepped forward and took Cassie in her arms. "By remembering that, whatever happens, we're together. If we survive this, we'll stay together. If Sam manages to reset the timeline, well we know we're together in her timeline. And if," she tried to keep her voice even, "if we all die and that's it, well then we die together. I can't think of any better place to die than in your arms."

Cassie nodded. "God I'm glad we found each other," she said. "I mean, this is bad enough. Way bad enough. But if this happened a year ago, I'd have been standing here, wondering who would care, or even know, if I died. Now at least I've known what it's like to be part of such a wonderful family. And to be part of such a wonderful relationship. If this is all I'm supposed to get, it's enough. I want more, but this has been enough. You've transformed my life, Annie. I want you to know that."

"Bed?" Anna whispered, and Cassie could feel her shaking slightly.

"Yeah," Cassie agreed. She wanted to feel Anna's skin, her touch, her embrace, once more. Maybe for the last time.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"We can offer you the freedom of your people," Sam told Teal'c and, for the first time, it seemed that they were getting through to him. "This is Ba'al's failsafe," Sam gestured around her. "It has to be. I think this whole place is his time machine. Teal'c, if you let us use this device, we can return history to the way it was meant to be. The Goa'uld will be gone. Your people will be free. Please, Teal'c."

"Let it be done," Teal'c replied.

Sam rushed to the control console, Janet at her side. "It'll just take me a few minutes to figure out exactly how it works," Sam said. "Jan, we're going to make it." She turned to the others. "We need to choose a time and place sometime before Ba'al can put his plan into motion. At least one of us has to get through." She looked up in fear as the rings descended onto the ring platform. She handed a pistol to Janet, holding her zat in her left hand.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Cassie and Anna made love for hours. At some point in the evening, they heard Kathryn come up to bed. They also heard Albie's unmistakable whimper, and turned and smiled to each other. They were glad that nobody was alone on that dreadful night.

At around 3am, though, Cassie was awoken by a small noise. The noise was Kathryn opening the back door downstairs and letting herself out. The door had always been stiff; it was something Sam had been meaning to get around to fixing. Cassie slid out of bed, and looked out into the garden. Her blood turned to ice when she saw the night sky lit up with flames. She opened the window slightly, and the noise of sirens and screaming invaded the house. She saw Kathryn, standing in the middle of the garden, Albie in her arms, her face streaked with tears.

"Annie?" Cassie ran her hand up her lover's arm. "It's happening. Now. Kathryn's outside. I think we should go join her."

In silence, Anna took in all that was happening. She nodded, and got out of bed. She grabbed her robe, and wrapped Cassie's robe round her. They both jammed slippers on their feet. Hand in hand, they made their way outside.

Kathryn turned round as she heard them approach. "Just wanted to feel the wet grass under my bare feet. For one last time," her voice was calm.

"Good idea," Cassie said, and kicked off her slippers. Anna followed her example.

The three women met in a group hug, clinging tightly to each other. And then, in a flash, most of their garden was obliterated. One second they were standing there, the next there was a huge smoking crater.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Suddenly all hell broke loose on Praxyon, with gunfire and staff blasts exploding around Sam's head as she tried to configure the machine. If she had not been so preoccupied with the machine, she would have been impressed with Janet's dexterity with a gun. She heard Daniel cry out, and was shocked to see him take a staff blast to the abdomen. She could tell that this was an injury he would not survive. Shit! She worked as fast as she could. If she could just fix this, then Daniel would still be alive, if they could just put the timeline right. "I've got it," she cried. "Once I dial the Stargate, we'll have less than twenty seconds to get through!" She initiated the dialing sequence. As she pressed the centre button on the DHD, she felt a searing pain in her back. So it was too late for her. As she fell to the floor, she could only pray that her death would be temporary. That she and Janet would be together again.

Janet felt rather than saw the staff blast hit Sam. She was at her side in an instant, cradling her head as the life force ebbed from her. "I love you baby," she whispered over and over again. Sam was too weak to respond, but Janet could see the love in her beautiful blue eyes. She also saw the moment that love and light was extinguished, and Sam's head lolled in her arms. In the same moment, she saw Mitchell dive through the open 'gate and then, a split second later felt what she knew was a lethal blast in her own back. In the second before she died, she felt grateful that she would not have to live without Sam, though that thought was tinged with regret for their unborn child. She slumped forward on to Sam's chest; together in life, together in death.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

REVISED TIMELINE

"Mom!" Cassie's voice was stern. "I've been calling you for the last ten minutes."

"Wha'?" Janet shook herself. She had been staring out of the window in the kitchen, into the darkness. "I'm sorry honey, I'm miles away. What d'you need?"

"Nothin'," Cassie admitted. "Just worried about you. You seem distracted. Is everything okay?"

Janet forced herself to smile. "Everything's fine, Cass. Truly. It's just today's felt kinda... weird. It's been strange without her. I know," she smiled ruefully. "I'm not making any sense. Sam's away all the time. God knows she was away for the best part of a year on Atlantis. But somehow I've really missed her today. I can't stop thinking about her."

Cassie smiled back. "You love her Mom," she said gently. "Nothing weird about that."

"She'll be back in a couple of hours," Janet looked at the clock which showed it was nearly midnight.

"Why don't you go to the base to meet her?" Cassie suggested. "Can't hurt. And it's late, you can give her a ride home. She can pick up the bike tomorrow."

"That's a good idea, Cass," Janet said. "I know I'm being dumb. But I just want to see her. As soon as I can."

"I'll bet she'll be stoked to see you, too, Mom," Cassie told her mother, drawing her into a tight embrace.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet was in the corridor just outside the 'gate room when the wormhole flared. She stayed where she was, and waited for Sam to hand over her weapons to the armorer. Then SG-1 and General O'Neill left the 'gate room and headed to the infirmary for the post-mission check-up. "Hey," Janet said quietly when she saw Sam.

Sam turned at the familiar voice. "Jan!" she cried warmly. "God I've missed you baby. What the hell are you doing here at this time of night?"

"I missed you today," Janet admitted. "Real bad. I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"Same here," Sam said, "You should be in bed, but I'm so pleased you're here instead."

Janet looked closely at Sam and noticed that the colonel looked exhausted. "Are you okay, Sam?" she asked her.

"Yeah, I'm fine honey. I'm suddenly real tired, I'm not quite sure why. But I'm good, I swear."

"I'll meet you in the locker room when you're done," Janet told her. "I'm giving you a ride home, we'll come back for the bike tomorrow."

For some reason tears sprang to Sam's eyes. "Thank you, Jan," she said in a quiet voice. "You're amazing. You're always here for me."

"Always," Janet told her. "Always and for ever."


	38. Chapter 38 NIGHTMARES

Sam fell to sleep after just minutes in the car. Janet looked over at her tenderly. Her lover was clearly exhausted. Janet was pleased she had decided to come to the mountain to meet her.

As they drew up to the house, Janet pressed the remote to open the garage. Sam stayed asleep as Janet exited the car, and opened Sam's door. "Sam?" Janet said quietly, placing her hand gently on Sam's arm. "We're home honey."

Sam just grunted and turned into the seat. "Stay here," she said drowsily.

"Come on, baby," Janet said softly, "let's get you to bed." Sam ignored her and burrowed deeper into the upholstery of the car. "Sam?" Janet pleaded. "Come on, you can't stay here all night." There was still no response; Janet decided to play dirty. "Colonel Carter!" she barked sharply.

Sam sat up immediately. "Wha?" she blinked as she came to fully.

Janet grinned. "I'm sorry, baby," she smiled. "I couldn't wake you."

Sam smiled sheepishly. "Sorry Jan," she apologized. "Didn't mean to fall asleep."

"My sleeping beauty," Janet teased. "You're cute when you're sleeping, did you know that?"

Sam mock-scowled. "That's only 'cos I'm not talking when I'm sleeping," she smiled. A thought occurred to her. "If I'm your sleeping beauty, you should know the best way to wake me up properly is to kiss me!"

Janet grinned widely. "Like this?" she asked, kissing Sam thoroughly.

"Yeah," Sam replied somewhat breathlessly. "Something like that I guess. Better try it again, make sure you've got it right!"

So Janet kissed her again. Sam gasped at the passion of the kiss. "You're good at that," she breathed.

"I get a lot of practise," Janet winked. "C'mon honey, time for bed." And she took Sam by the hand, leading her through the side door of the garage to the kitchen and then upstairs. Sam was docile and affectionate. Janet pushed her gently onto the bed, and helped her change into her nightshirt. "You go wash up," Janet told her, "I'll just go let Toby out to pee. I'll only be a few minutes," she saw the look of disappointment on Sam's face.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

In the event, it was ten minutes before Janet returned to their bedroom, having let the dog out for a pee and done a thorough check on all the doors and windows before she headed upstairs again. Normally Sam did the security check when they were both home, but she wanted to save her the trouble. She knew Sam needed her sleep and she didn't want her delayed any.

When she got back into the bedroom, Janet was unsurprised to see Sam's sleeping form. "I'll be right there," she whispered to her lover, and hurried into the bathroom. She undressed swiftly and stepped under the warm spray of the shower. She was just rinsing the shampoo out of her hair when she heard the bathroom door open; seconds later, she felt Sam approach her from behind, wrapping her long arms round her.

"Hey," Janet whispered softly. "I thought you were asleep."

"Was," Sam replied drowsily. "Got lonely," and she tightened her grip on her lover.

Janet turned in her embrace to face her. "Well it's good to see you," she smiled, and reached up to stroke Sam's face. She was concerned to see that Sam's face was far too pale, and she had dark rings under her eyes. "Hey, sweetie," she said softly, "are you feeling okay? You don't look so hot."

"M'okay," Sam mumbled. "Jus' tired."

"Well let's head back to bed," Janet's voice was soothing and tender.

"Not just yet," Sam said. "Want to feel you. Want you. Here. Now." And she leant in and kissed Janet passionately.

"You need to sleep," Janet tried to protest, her resolve weakening at the sensation.

"I will," Sam told her. "We both will. After. I'll be quick, I swear," her eyes twinkled with mischief.

The two women climaxed simultaneously only minutes afterwards. "You're amazing, Sam," Janet gasped when she got her breathing back under control.

Sam grinned lazily. "Back at ya," she failed to stifle a yawn.

"Bed," Janet said firmly, shutting off the shower and steering Sam out of the stall. She grabbed a huge towel from the side, wrapping it round her lover, then taking another to wrap round herself. She set Sam on the side of the bed, and turned and retrieved Sam's nightshirt from where she had discarded it on the floor.

By the time Janet had on her own pajamas, and climbed into bed next Sam, Sam was 99% asleep. "Love you," Sam said sleepily, and nestled into her side.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet had hoped that a good night's sleep would bring Sam back up to full strength. However, she was disappointed. An hour or so after falling to sleep, Sam started to move around restlessly, waking Janet from her own slumber with her fidgeting and mumbling. Janet guessed that Sam was dreaming and, from the expression on her face, knew that it wasn't a pleasant dream. "No," Sam mumbled. "Don't. Where's Vala?" Janet found it hard to decipher her words. Just as she was wondering if she should wake her lover, Sam sat up sharply, gasping, suddenly awake.

"Sam?" Janet put her hand on her trembling back. "Bad dream, huh?"

Sam turned and looked at her, a scared look on her face. At the sight of Janet, her features softened. "Yeah," she visibly fought to pull herself together. "Sorry, Jan," she said, "seemed so real."

"You're okay," Janet said softly, gentling her cheek. "It's okay, everybody's okay."

"Yeah," Sam said again, "yeah." She let Janet guide her back down to the bed. "Didn't mean to wake you."

"Think you can sleep?" Janet asked.

"Hmm," Sam replied, already half-asleep. "With you there I can."

"I'm not going anywhere Sam," Janet reassured her. "I'm right here with you baby."

Two hours later, Janet was brought suddenly to consciousness by a harsh scream that tore from Sam's throat. She sat up and put her arms round Sam, who was sobbing uncontrollably even though she was not yet fully awake. "Sam?" she said gently, "Sam, it's okay. You had a nightmare, baby. You're home, you're safe. We're all safe, I swear to you," she rubbed her hand up and down Sam's back.

Sam was finally fully awake. "I thought he was dead," she said miserably through her tears. "Ba'al stabbed him. He died, Jan," she looked so scared and sad, "right there at the ceremony."

"Who died baby?" Janet asked, reaching out to switch on the lamp on the night stand.

"General O'Neill. Told us to leave him there," Sam realized she wasn't making much sense.

"The general's okay, Sam," Janet soothed, "he was right there at the SGC when I came to get you tonight. You've been having a bad dream, sweetheart. He's okay. He's really okay."

At that point, there was a knock on the door. "Come in," Janet said softly, guessing who it was.

Cassie put her head round the door. "Mom?" she blinked at the light in the room, "is everything okay? We heard screaming."

"We're fine, Cass," Janet told her. "Sam had a nightmare, is all. We're okay, aren't we Sam?"

Sam nodded miserably. "Yeah," she said shakily. "Sorry."

Janet squeezed her fingers. "Nothin' to be sorry for Sam, is there Cass?"

"'course not," Cassie replied. "Can I get you anything?"

Janet realized Sam was shaking. "Another blanket?" she suggested to Cassie, "Sam's a little cold" she smoothed the hair from Sam's face. Sam nodded. "And maybe a couple of Tylenol," she had seen Sam squinting in pain. "Get rid of that headache, huh, Sam?"

Sam nodded again. "That'd be good," she said in a quiet voice.

In minutes, Cassie returned with a warm blanket and the tablets, as well as a glass of water. She wrapped the blanket round Sam's shoulders. "I'll be right back," she said as she left the room again. Shortly afterward, she returned to their bedroom bearing two hot water bottles. "Thought you might like these," she told Sam, handing one to her and tucking the other under her feet which were like ice.

"Cass, you're an angel," Janet's voice was soft; Sam's eyes were already closing.

"Call me if you need anything," Cassie said. "I love you Mom. And Sam."

Janet blew her a kiss.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"You warm enough honey?" Janet asked Sam gently as she helped her to lie back down on the pillow.

"Hmm," Sam replied. "So sorry."

"You know you don't have to be sorry," Janet told her. "Just try and sleep now Sam, okay?"

Sam mumbled a reply that Janet couldn't hear, and burrowed into Janet's front.

Janet was concerned. Sam often had nightmares, but this one was much more violent than usual, and had clearly shaken Sam to the core. She tightened her grip round Sam, hoping to impart some of her own strength. When Janet got up at 9am, Sam was sleeping peacefully.

Janet was half way through serving breakfast when she saw Sam enter the kitchen. She still looked pale and tired.

"Hey," Janet went over and kissed her softly. "I was hoping you'd sleep a bit longer."

"I woke up," Sam said, "and I missed you," she said simply. "Anyway," she tried to lighten the atmosphere, "looks like all the fun's going on down here," she gestured to Cassie at the stove.

"Hey Sam!" Cassie grinned, "Mom's showing me how to make pancakes!"

Sam smiled. "And just how is that going?" she asked drily, her eyes on a blackened mess on one of the plates.

Anna laughed. "Let's just say I didn't fall in love with Cass for her domestic abilities!" she said, as Sam sat down next to her at the table. She put her hand briefly on Sam's. "Are you okay?" she asked in a quiet voice.

"Yeah," Sam smiled back at her daughter-in-law. "I'm sorry about last night. Bad nightmare, seemed so real somehow. But I'm fine. And I'm glad to see all of my family today. Even if Cassie's doing the cooking."

"It's okay, Sam, I made these ones myself," Janet laughed, as she passed a plate to Sam. "I think perhaps Cass needs a bit more practise!"

As promised, Sam took her family out for a big lunch to celebrate the girls' engagement. The lunch was long and raucous. At the end of it, Cassie stood up unexpectedly and made the others cry by giving a speech telling them all that it was the example that Sam and Janet gave her that allowed her to love Anna as much as she did. "And if we end up with even a fifth of the happiness that you two share," she raised her glass to Sam and Janet, "we'll consider ourselves very lucky."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

By early evening, Sam was dead on her feet. "Time for bed, I think," Janet declared just after 9pm. "I know it's early," she saw Sam looking at her watch, "but you need your sleep honey. We both do. C'mon," and she pulled her off the couch and pushed her firmly toward the stairs. "We'll see you two tomorrow," she smiled at Cassie and Anna. "Can you let Toby out for a pee before you go to bed?"

"Sure thing, Mom," Cassie replied, "sleep well."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Think you can sleep?" Janet peered anxiously at Sam, who seemed very tense all of a sudden.

"Hope so," Sam said, though she was feeling very tense.

"Want me to give you something?" Janet suggested.

Sam shook her head. "No," she said, "might make the nightmares worse. If they come."

Janet sat on the side of the bed and pulled Sam down next to her. She pushed her hair behind her ear. "What makes you think you're gonna have nightmares again baby?" she asked tenderly.

Sam shook her head miserably. "Dunno," she replied. "It just... kinda... feels that way. It seemed so real last night Jan. Kinda makes me want to stay awake."

Janet kissed her softly. "Oh honey," she said, "I'm sorry you're feeling that way. But you have to sleep, you know that right? And there's no reason to expect you'll have bad dreams. And even if you do, I'm here with you. We'll stop them together, huh?"

"Okay," Sam's voice was small.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet's hopes that Sam was wrong about the nightmares were sadly unfounded. Three times in the night, Sam started tossing and turning, muttering about Ba'al, the Arctic, Daniel and invasions. Each time, she held Sam until she awoke, holding her tight and uttering sweet nothings until her lover's heart rate finally slowed.

By the time morning came, Janet was exhausted, and she could see from Sam's face that she was even more so. "I think we're going to have to talk about this honey," Janet said to her after breakfast once the girls had gone out for a long walk with Toby. "We need to find out why this is happening now."

Sam shook her head vehemently. "No," she protested. "I'm just tired. I'll be okay. We go back to work tomorrow, I'll be fine once I get back into a routine."

Janet reached over and took Sam's hand. "I think it's more than an upset routine, honey," she said gently, "there's something going on there," and she tapped the side of Sam's head softly.

"No, damn it!" Sam almost shouted. "I'm okay. Truly. I'm sorry I woke you, but I'm fine." What Sam didn't, couldn't, tell Janet is that she was starting to worry that her mind was playing tricks on her. In the moments between sleeping and waking, the dreams that played out in front of her eyelids seemed so real, more like memories than dreams. She didn't tell Janet but she had surreptitiously called General O'Neill that morning, on a pretext, just to prove to herself that he was alive. She knew she was acting dumb, but she couldn't help it. She also couldn't bear the idea of some busybody Air Force shrink delving into her psyche. It would all be okay, once she got back to work, saw the others, knew they were alright.

That night, Sam made a point of staying awake until Janet drifted off to sleep. Sam watched her lover for a while, and felt horribly guilty for the stress she was putting her through. Asleep all the worry lines disappeared from Janet's face, and she looked serene and content. Just like she had only a few days ago, Sam realized bitterly, before her mind had decided to take a walk on the wild side.

Once she was sure that Janet was fully asleep, Sam crept out of their bedroom and headed for the spare room at the end of the corridor. She was determined that no more of her nightmares would waken Janet.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Sam?" Sam heard a familiar voice. "Sam, I know you can hear me. Ease down, honey, you're okay. We're all okay. Try and take deep breaths Sam, I'm here with you."

Suddenly Sam was awake, and realized she was in Janet's arms, tears streaking her face, her whole body shaking.

Janet had heard Sam's cries from down the corridor, and had realized that her lover had decamped to the other room. She ran down the corridor, and was shocked to see a wild-eyed Sam in the throes of a horrific nightmare. She wished she knew what it was that was frightening Sam so much in the small hours of the morning, but nothing she said seemed to get through to her. Once Sam had finally woken, she pushed Janet away. "I'm okay," she told Janet firmly. "Go back to bed."

"Come with me, Sam," Janet pleaded. "Back to our room."

Sam shook her head. "Not tonight," she said. She saw the hurt look in Janet's eyes, and hated herself. "Maybe tomorrow," she weakened. "I need to do this by myself, Jan, I need to know I can sleep on my own," her tone was pleading.

So Janet reluctantly withdrew. She could see in the morning by the tension on Sam's face that she had not slept for the rest of the night. She reached over to take her hand at breakfast. "Take the day off, baby," she begged her. "You haven't slept for days. You need to get your strength back."

"I'm fine," Sam said mulishly. "A day at the mountain will do me good. Anyway, General O'Neill's standing in for Landry for the next month, he'll need me there. We've got a meeting with the Tok'ra later on today, I have to be there for that."

Janet knew it was fruitless to argue with Sam. Maybe Sam was right, a couple of days of 'normality' might set her back on the right track. She had had a bad time over the last few months, maybe this was her body's way of hitting the reset button. Janet didn't really believe that, but she hoped it was true.

Sam seemed to be avoiding Janet during the day at the mountain. When Janet went to Sam's lab at 6pm to persuade her to go home, it was empty. As she headed back to the infirmary, she met an airman leaving her office. "Just dropped a note from Colonel Carter, ma'am," he saluted smartly.

"Thank you," Janet said distractedly. She went to her desk and opened the envelope.

_Jan,_

the note started.

_The meeting's been delayed, it's only starting at 1800hrs. General O'Neill thinks it may go on until late, so I'll just stay in my quarters tonight. So I won't see you back at the house, but I'll catch up with you here tomorrow morning._

_Send my love to the girls. And to you,_

_Sam_

_xxx_

_p.s. I'm sorry I've been a pain the butt the last couple of days. It'll all be okay, Jan, I swear. I love you honey._

In truth, General O'Neill had told Sam that the meeting would likely be over well before 8pm, but she just wanted some space to herself, to clear her head. She also hated to be a burden on Janet. If she actually were losing her mind, she wanted to be clear exactly what was happening so that she could face up to it.

So when the meeting finished at 7.45pm, Sam went straight to her quarters. She wanted to avoid seeing anybody, and having to explain why she wasn't going home.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet headed into the mountain early the next day. She hoped to catch Sam before the rest of SG-1 came in. She also hoped that she would find her lover refreshed and ready to face the day. The reality when she made her way to Sam's lab was quite different. She had never seen Sam look so tense, tired and miserable.

"Bad night?" Janet asked her gently.

Sam stiffened, she had not realized there was anybody there. "No," she lied, "I'm fine. Hi Jan, how are you?"

"Better than you," Janet put her hand on Sam's arm.

Sam shook it off impatiently. "I'm _fine_, Janet," she almost spat. "I told you, I'm fine. Goddammit, why does nobody listen to me?" she knew how unreasonable she was being, but she was so exhausted she just couldn't help hitting out.

"You're not fine, Sam," Janet said in a quiet voice. "You're far from fine. Sam, honey, you know I'm going to have to take you off active duty, don't you?"

"Shit, Janet, there's nothing wrong with me!" Sam shouted. "Are you trying to ruin my career? Don't you understand that..." suddenly the room tilted alarmingly. Sam tried to grab at a shelf in the corner to hold herself upright. Her vision greyed, and the last thing she was aware of as the blackness claimed her was Janet moving rapidly toward her.

Janet couldn't stop her from sliding inelegantly to the floor, but she did manage to prevent her hitting her head on the way down. She supported Sam's body as best she could, until they were both sprawled on the floor. She pulled Sam's head into her lap, and checked her pulse. Fast, but steady. She had just collapsed from exhaustion. "Medical team to Colonel Carter's lab," she barked into her radio.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Sam awoke in the infirmary, head head pounding, the too-familiar feel of an IV in the back of her hand. Janet was standing over her, running her hand through her hair.

"Jan?" Sam croaked.

"I'm here, honey," Janet said quietly, "I'm here."

"I'm so sorry," Sam said, "I'm so sorry. I was a bitch. I was scared Janet."

"I know, hon," Janet kissed her softly on the forehead. "It's going to be okay. I know you were scared. I know you still are. But we'll get to the bottom of it, I swear. Together."

Tears gathered in Sam's eyes. "I don't deserve you," she told Janet.

"Shh," Janet said, taking up her hand. "It's going to be alright. I want you to sleep for a couple of hours. Then we'll go home. General O'Neill's cleared it. He told me he doesn't want to see either of us for two weeks. We'll fix you right up in that time."

"Stay with me?" Sam pleaded.

"Always," Janet said with feeling as she drew up a chair and settled herself by Sam's head. "Always."


	39. Chapter 39 SANE

"Can we go home Jan?" Sam pleaded with Janet, after nearly four hours in the infirmary. "I'm okay now."

Janet checked Sam's vitals, and smiled gently. "I don't see why not, just as long as you take it slow."

"I swear," Sam said. "Whatever you want. You call the shots."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Sam settled Sam on the couch and went into the kitchen to make them both a late lunch. She was determined that Sam would be tempted by what she made, despite her current markedly poor appetite. Janet was glad that O'Neill had suggested that she and Sam take time off together, but she was more worried about her lover than she liked to admit. Yes, Sam had often had nightmares in the past, but none that seemed to take her over like these ones. She hated to even countenance the possibility that Sam might be right; could she be suffering a mental illness, even a temporary one? And if so, what had caused it?

That was the problem with the Stargate, there were so many diseases that could have originated on other planets, and not all of the symptoms were physical. During Sam's brief time in the infirmary, Janet took every blood test she could think of. All the results so far were negative, and she had no reason to believe that the outstanding tests, due back over the next few days, would be any different.

Janet's priority, though, was to help Sam to cope with whatever it was that was happening to her. If she could, somehow, relax a little about what she was experiencing, there was a greater chance that she could get some rest which in turn would make her stronger and more able to cope.

Janet returned to the living room, carrying a bowl of home-made soup and some bread on a tray. "Hey," she said softly.

Sam smiled. "That looks good, honey," she said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

After another heavily disturbed night, Janet was really starting to worry. She couldn't work out the best way to help Sam, and was facing up to the fact that she was going to have to bring in outside help of some sort. She didn't know how to broach the subject with Sam; Sam had always resisted any form of 'mind doctor'. She had told Janet, in no uncertain terms and on more than one occasion, that if she ever needed to 'talk to' someone, she would talk to Janet. So Janet knew not to offer post-traumatic counseling whenever Sam returned from a particularly harrowing mission. And Sam usually did talk to Janet, eventually. Sometimes it took her a few weeks, especially if she had had to kill or maim someone.

Sam was a good soldier, and always tried to make the right tactical decision in any combat situation. But of course this didn't mean that often her decisions would haunt her afterward. This was one of the things that Janet loved about her. She hated to see her suffer, but in a strange way was pleased that Sam's humanity had not been dented by her many years as a soldier; in some ways, making the decisions seemed to get harder for her, not easier.

Sam and Janet had a leisurely breakfast that morning, and Janet insisted that Sam rest on the couch while she attended to some paperwork. She brushed off Sam's attempts to help her. "You rest, honey," she told her gently, "I'll be right in here with you. And try not to worry, I'm not gonna leave you, so you can sleep if you want to, I'll be right here, I swear."

At around 11am, Janet heard a soft tapping on the front door. She looked over to Sam, and was pleased to see that her eyes were shut and she seemed peaceful. Wondering who it was, she made her way quietly to the door.

"Mom!" Janet exclaimed, trying to keep her voice low. "What are you doing here?" and she gathered her mother in her arms and hugged her tight. She was surprised to find her own eyes filling with tears. "Oh Mom, I'm so pleased to see you."

"J, my darling," Kathryn returned her daughter's hug. "Rob was driving this way this morning, I got him to give me a ride." She pulled back slightly from her daughter's arms, and looked closely into her face, noting her pinched features and tense look. "Cassie called me," she said simply. "She said Sam was sick, and that you were worried. I thought you might like a visit."

"Oh Mom," Janet embraced her again. "I can't tell you how pleased I am to see you. She's okay, we're okay. Truly. Sam's not actually sick, not yet anyway. But she's having a hard time, and I just want to help her."

Kathryn kissed her softly on the cheek. "Make me a coffee, tell me all about it."

Janet nodded, and led her down the corridor, pushing her into the kitchen. "I just want to check on Sam," she said. She stuck her head into the living room, and was relieved to see Sam still sleeping peacefully. She returned to the kitchen. "She's asleep," she told her mother, "finally."

"So J, what's going on?" Kathryn asked.

"Sam's having nightmares. Real bad ones. Or flashbacks. Or something, I don't really know what it is. Actually," she finally vocalized the thing that was worrying her the most. "I don't think it's so much the content of the dreams, though sometimes that's bad. Sometimes General O'Neill dies; or Daniel loses a leg; or Teal'c goes dark-side. I don't think it's that so much. I think Sam's worried about how realistic it always is. She describes it as more of a memory than a dream. And it's always the same, just different parts of the same story." She swallowed, and looked into her mother's eyes. "I think Sam thinks she might be losing her mind," she finally admitted. "That beautiful mind of hers. What if she's right, Mom?" She angrily brushed away tears she hadn't realized had fallen. "How can I help her?"

"Oh my little Jay-bird," Kathryn put her arms round Janet. "Sam's not going crazy. No more crazy than usual, anyway," at that Janet was at least able to muster a small smile. "She's just having a hard time dealing with something. And you," she looked into Janet's face, "are exhausted. How long is it since you had a good night's sleep?"

"A few days," Janet said, "but I can't leave her Mom. She gets so scared when she wakes up sometimes. I've promised her I won't leave her."

"I'm not suggesting for a moment you leave her, J," Kathryn said softly, "and I know you wouldn't anyway, just as she wouldn't leave you when you needed her. I just think you should sleep properly for a few hours. Just how long is it you've been having disturbed nights?"

"Nearly a week now," Sam's voice was quiet. Janet and Kathryn looked up, and saw Sam standing in the kitchen doorway, a blanket round her shoulders. "Janet hasn't slept properly for six nights now, thanks to me," she tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice. "I keep telling her to go up and catch a few hours, but she won't listen to me. Hey Kathryn," she added, belatedly.

"Samantha!" Kathryn cried, going over to embrace her daughter-in-law. She was shocked by her pale face and black rings under her eyes, but she pretended not to notice. "I'm so sorry things are tough for you."

Sam hugged her back. "Thank you for coming," she said quietly. "It's great to see you."

Kathryn took her hand and pushed her gently toward a chair by the kitchen table. "I have an idea," she said. "I'm gonna make you some camomile tea, Sam. Then I suggest you and I take our drinks to the living room, and we can talk. Or listen to music. Or just sit quietly. Just for a couple of hours. While you, J, head upstairs and catch some sleep." She could see Janet about to protest. "You're not going to be any help to Sam if you make yourself sick too, J," she scolded. "And we'll be okay down here, won't we Sam?" she smiled tenderly at her daughter-in-law.

"I think that's a great idea," Sam said firmly. "Janet, I hate that I'm keeping you awake," she decided to play dirty, "it's not going to make me feel any better if I drive you to exhaustion. Will you sleep baby? For me?"

Janet smiled, fully aware that her mother and her lover had ganged up on her. "Okay," she said, "just for a couple of hours. Mom, how long can you stay?"

Kathryn pointed to a small bag that she had put down in the corner of the kitchen. "As long as you need me," she said, "I've brought clothes for a few days, but we can always do some laundry! Sam, why don't you take J upstairs while I make the tea? Make sure she goes to bed!"

Sam leaned over and kissed her mother-in-law on the cheek. "Thank you," she said, simply. She then took Janet by the hand and led her upstairs.

Sam helped Janet change into her pajamas. She pushed her gently onto the bed, and pulled the covers up almost to her chin. She leant down and kissed her, very softly, on the lips. "I'm so sorry, baby," she whispered. "Sleep now. We'll see you later."

"I love you Sam," Janet said. "Never forget that. We'll work this out."

"I know," Sam said as she got up to leave, "I know we will."

When Sam came downstairs, Kathryn had dimmed the lights in the living room. Playing on the stereo was Bach's cello suites, one of Sam's great favorites. The camomile tea was ready, and Kathryn was sipping at her own coffee, sitting on the corner of the couch. She patted the seat next to her. "Come sit by me, Samantha," she said, "and we'll relax together."

Sam always knew how lucky she was to have such an amazing mother-in-law. As well as being kind and loving, and a wonderful grandmother to Cassie, she was also wise and gentle and somehow always knew when she was needed most. She could also be fierce in defense of her loved ones; Sam knew she would never forget Kathryn's fury when she found out that Cassie had been bullied by one particular girl at school. She was even angrier when she had found out that the bullying was the result of the girl finding out that Cassie had two mothers. To that day, Sam didn't know what Kathryn had done, but she had marched down to the school and the problem stopped that day. "You don't need to know," Kathryn had told Janet when she had asked her what had gone on. "All you need to know is that it's over now." And it was.

So Sam sat down gratefully next to Kathryn and took her hand. "I'm so sorry," she said in a small voice. "I hate what I'm doing to Jan. But she won't let me sleep in the other room, or stay on base. I don't know what to do, Kathryn," Sam sounded so tired and sad that Kathryn's heart melted.

She put her arm round Sam, and grabbed one of the cushions off the couch and put it in her lap. She pulled Sam gently down so that she was lying on the couch, her head on the cushion. "Shh," Kathryn said. "Just try and sleep now. It will be alright Sam, I promise you that. It's all gonna be okay."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Four hours later, Janet awoke, feeling greatly refreshed. She looked at her watch, not quite believing the time. She pulled on her robe and went downstairs. She walked quietly as she entered the living room. Her mom was on the couch with Sam in her arms. Sam was mumbling quietly, her hand fiercely gripping Kathryn's. "She's okay, J," Kathryn's voice was quiet and tender. "She's been very restless, but I think she's gotten some sleep. You're looking better, honey."

"I'm feeling good, Mom," Janet replied, and crouched down by Sam's head. She ran her hand softly through Sam's thick hair. "Thank you for watching her."

Sam shifted at the sound of Janet's voice. Her eyes opened, and she blinked blearily. "Hey," she smiled drowsily. "Did you sleep baby?"

"I did, Sam," Janet put her hand on her arm. "I feel good."

Sam sat up slightly, and Kathryn took the opportunity to move out from under her. "You sit," Kathryn instructed Janet, and Janet eagerly took her mother's place, sliding an arm round Sam's shoulders. "I'm gonna make some tea."

Janet kissed Sam gently. "I missed you," she told her.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Kathryn returned five minutes later bearing a tray of tea and cookies. She passed round steaming mugs, and settled herself in the chair opposite the couch. "I've been thinking," she said.

Janet gave a mock-groan, making Sam smile.

"No, J, I'm serious. I've been thinking about what's going on here. And I don't think you're crazy, Sam. I really don't. I think maybe the both of you should consider that maybe these dreams, nightmares if you will, aren't really that. Maybe Sam," she looked over at her, "maybe they're memories."

Sam looked confused. "That's what's so strange," she shook her head. "That's what I don't understand. They don't feel like dreams. They're just like memories. Dreams, or nightmares, are weirder, unconnected. These are just like something that actually happened. But I don't get it," she became agitated. "I know it didn't happen. The General hasn't died, thank God. Daniel didn't lose a leg. The ceremony was fine. I mean, General O'Neill was right, it was boring. But it's over. Ba'al's been extracted. It's over."

"It's over now," Kathryn's voice was quiet but authoritative. "But have you considered that maybe it wasn't once? Think about it Sam. You've often talked about different realities. Different timelines. Have you thought that perhaps that's what happened? Maybe, and I know I could be totally wrong, but maybe that's what happened, and you somehow fixed the timeline? And now, somehow, one timeline's bleeding into another, just slightly. Just enough to give you these nightmares."

For the first time in days, Janet saw a spark of hope in Sam's eyes. "I suppose it's possible," Sam said slowly. "What do you think, Jan?"

Janet nodded. "It makes sense, baby," she said. "It makes more sense than anything else I can think of."

"So how do find out?" Sam sat up, looking eager. "I mean, do I need to see a shrink, or what?"

Janet was amazed; she knew how much Sam hated psychiatrists, so she must been keen to resolve the issue. "I have an idea," she said. "Not a shrink, not as such. Hypnotherapy. Alison Grier, who works at the Academy hospital, we're sometimes on the same shifts, she's had great success with hypnotherapy. And she's got all the clearance, you could tell her anything. What d'you think Sam, want to give it a shot?"

Sam nodded. "I've done it before," she said, "there was that time when we thought Daniel was dead," she shuddered at the memory, "and at college too. I think I should give it a try, Jan."

Kathryn smiled.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"She's coming to the house," Janet told Sam. "I told her we want to keep it out of your record, for the moment at least, and she's cool with that. She says it also helps if you're in a comfortable environment, so she's happier doing it from here too."

"When?" Sam wanted to know, fear clear in her expressive eyes.

"This afternoon," Janet took her hand. "I'll be with you the whole time, honey, I swear."

Sam swallowed. "It'll be okay," she said, more to herself than to Janet. "I know it will."

"You're very brave," Janet told her.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Dr Grier, nice to meet you," Sam held out her hand.

"Call me Alison, please," the doctor smiled warmly at Sam. She was in her early fifties, red-haired with a bohemian air to her. "And can I call you Sam?"

Sam readily agreed. The next 20 minutes were taken up with general pleasantries, coffee and a potted background from Sam.

"Okay," Alison Grier said. "I think we should just get down to it. Now Sam," she told the obviously nervous woman, "I want you to be comfortable. Or at least as comfortable as you can be while I root around in your psyche!" she grinned to put Sam at her ease. "Do you want Janet with you? Or is it easier for you to do this on your own?"

"I want Janet," Sam said firmly. "If that's okay."

Sam eventually settled on the couch with Janet next to her, holding her hand.

"Now some of this is bound to be difficult," Alison said gently. "So try not to worry. And you, Janet, just be there for Sam. She might have to relive some difficult memories, but they are only memories, she's okay now, so try not to worry. Just be there for her." Janet tightened her grip on Sam's hand. "And we should get some answers today, remember that," Alison reminded them. "If we can get to the bottom of this, you get your life back Sam, we should be able to stop the nightmares."

"That'd be good," Sam said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

The next two hours were difficult for Sam and Janet. As Sam recalled some of the more traumatic moments from the other timeline, she became distressed and panicky, which in turn made Janet's heart bleed for her. Alison made her go through the story in chronological order, and only when she'd got to the part when they were rescued and safe on the submarine did she call a halt.

She carefully brought Sam back to full consciousness. "Well done, Sam," she told her quietly. "You did real well. And, for what it's worth, it seems clear to me that you are remembering things that actually did happen. It's my professional opinion that Mrs Fraiser was right, you have been dealing with memories, not imaginings."

"So I'm not crazy?" Sam's voice was small and scared.

"No, Sam, you're not. We've still got a lot of work to do, you've got a lot to work through. But you're not crazy. You're as sane as I am!" her eyes twinkled as she said that. "Okay, so maybe that's not a good comparison. But you're okay Sam," she leant forward and put her hand on Sam's. "You're okay. Just that knowledge should mean you sleep better now. And we'll work through the rest."

"So why am I not getting the dreams?" Janet wanted to know.

"Who knows?" Alison answered. "Everybody's different. Once we've worked this through, it might be worth talking to the others involved, see if they've had any strange experiences. But for now, it's enough to know that Sam's alright, isn't it?"

"Oh God yes," Janet breathed, "that's all I care about." She squeezed Sam's fingers.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

The mood at the dinner table that night was elated. Cassie and Anna were overjoyed to find when they returned in the evening that Sam had not only seen a doctor, but especially that she had been declared mentally fit. They both knew that Sam would have found it nigh-on impossible to deal with mental illness, and they were so glad she didn't have to.

Cassie was also thrilled to see her grandmother, and couldn't wait to introduce her to Anna. "This is Annie," she pulled her lover forward to meet Kathryn.

Kathryn looked at Cassie's girlfriend - fiancee - and smiled warmly. "Anna," she said affectionately, "that's a lovely name, for a lovely girl. I'm so pleased to meet you," and she hugged her affectionately. "I hope this family isn't too overwhelming for you," she said.

Anna laughed. "It's perfect," she told her, "and I'm so pleased to meet the head of the family at last!"

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet looked lovingly at Sam who had just climbed into bed. She slid in beside her, and kissed her, softly at first, then deepening the kiss. "You okay baby?" she asked her tenderly.

"I'm great Jan," Sam told her, "I'm happy. Relieved. Tired," she laughed ruefully.

"Sleep honey," Janet pulled her to her so that Sam was nestled in her front, their hands intertwined.

"Thank you Janet, for everything," Sam's voice shook slightly. "I love you."


	40. Chapter 40 BACK TO WORK

The next morning, Janet awoke, immediately aware that Sam was still sleeping peacefully in her arms. "Thank God," she whispered to herself, as she slid out from under her and padded to the bathroom.

When she returned to the bedroom 15 minutes later, showered and wrapped in a bath towel, Sam had awoken. "Hey honey," she said.

"Hey to you too," Sam replied, smiling.

"You had a good night, then?" Janet wanted to check, though she could tell from Sam's demeanor that this was definitely the case.

Sam nodded enthusiastically. "I feel great," she told Janet. "What about you baby? Did you sleep?"

"Like the dead," Janet chuckled. "Ain't nothing that can wake me when I'm sleeping like that!"

Sam smiled tenderly. "Thank you," she said in a quiet voice. "For everything."

Janet sat on the edge of the bed, and leaned in, kissing her gently. "I love you Sam," she said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Alison's coming over again this afternoon, Sam," Janet reminded her lover. "Are you okay with that?"

Sam looked a little startled. "I'd forgotten," she admitted. "I don't know how I forgot that. Yeah," she said thoughtfully. "I mean, it's not something I'm looking forward to. But it's already helped so much, I should see it through I reckon."

Janet nodded in agreement. "I think you should, honey," she said, "you need to go through everything, or you'll be thinking about it for ever."

"I may need to share some of it with the SGC too," Sam said, somewhat glumly. "There may be things they need to know, I suppose."

Janet took her hand. "Are you okay with that Sam?" she peered into her eyes. "Alison's not gonna say anything, patient confidentiality is total."

Sam looked back at her. "I know, Jan," she said, "and I trust Alison. I like her. But if there is anything that could make this world safer, I should share it. I'll talk to General O'Neill once I've been through it all with Alison, he'll know what's important and what isn't."

Janet pressed Sam's hand to her lips. "You're very brave, baby. Want me to be with you this afternoon?"

Sam shook her head. "No," she said. "I think I'll be okay. Stay nearby though, huh?"

"I'll be right here, all the time," Janet said. "I'll just be in the next room. You'll be okay, Sam."

"I know it," Sam said. "What time are the girls back this evening?"

"Not until 6pm," Janet reassured her, "Alison'll be long gone by then."

"Good," Sam replied. "They don't need to deal with all this too, I feel bad enough that you're caught up in it all."

"Well don't," Janet said firmly. "Anyways," she smiled, "I think the worst is over now, huh?"

"Yeah," Sam smiled back. "I guess you're right. Everything's gonna be real good from now on, I can just feel it."

"We'll have a nice quiet evening," Janet promised her. "Just you, me, Mom, Cassie and Anna. And a good bottle of Merlot."

"Don't forget Toby," Sam grinned, "he hates being left out."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"It went well," Alison Grier said quietly as she exited the living room. "She's okay, Janet. She remembered a lot. Go to her, she wants to see you."

Janet put a hand on her arm in gratitude. "Thank you," she said simply.

"Same time tomorrow?" Alison asked, as she headed for the door.

"Please," Janet said, "if that's okay."

"It is," Alison said, "I'll see you both then."

"You okay, hon?" Janet asked Sam as she approached her. Her lover was sitting on the couch, staring sightlessly out of the window.

Sam shook herself slightly, and turned to Janet, a small smile on her face. "I'm fine, Jan," she replied. "Good, even. It was intense, but good. In that timeline," she smiled, "I've just met up with you again. And you're the same as you are here. You'd had a hard time," her face clouded slightly, "but meeting up with you again was amazing."

Janet sat next to Sam and hugged her tightly. "That's 'cos we're meant to be together," she kissed Sam softly.

"That's what Kathryn said," Sam told her, "she helped get us together. She's amazing, Jan. Where is she?" she asked. "I know it sounds kinda dumb, but I want to thank her for all she did for me in that timeline. I know, I know," she smiled sheepishly, "she doesn't know anything about helping me. But she did, and I want her to know what it meant."

Janet smiled. "She's taken Toby out for a walk," she told Sam, "she'll be back soon. You can tell her then. So what was different about my life in that timeline? And what the hell was I doing, living a life without you in it before?" Janet was trying to joke, but when she saw the pained look in Sam's eyes she realized her joke had fallen flat. "Oh honey," she took Sam's hand, "I was just joking."

Sam looked at her, deep into her eyes. "I know you were baby. That's one of the hardest things. You were with me before. The 'me' from that timeline, that is. But she died, in a space shuttle accident. So you were alone when I came along. You were so sad, and so thin. It was awful seeing you like that."

Janet paled, at the thought of losing Sam; in any timeline, any reality, it was the very worst thing that could happen. "Oh God," she said in a whisper.

Sam pulled her into a warm embrace. "Shh," she said gently. "It's okay hon, really it is. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."

Janet nodded miserably. "Sorry," she said, "it's crazy to worry about what happened in another timeline. So it didn't really happen at all, huh?"

"That's right," Sam said reassuringly, "everything's changed back. Everything's as it should be. You were amazing, though, baby," she said, "you were so brave. You risked everything, all over again. Even after losing your Sam, you still opened up and let me in again. You are an extraordinary person."

"Back at ya, Sam," Janet said, "back at ya."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Alison made eight visits in all to Sam and Janet's house, and by the end of it, Sam had gone through all her memories of her time in the alternate timeline. She still found it emotional and draining, but by the end of it, she felt much stronger - and more importantly, she knew that there was nothing wrong with her mind.

"I can't believe two weeks is up," Sam pouted as they retired to bed on their last 'free' night together. "Back to the mountain tomorrow."

Janet laughed. "I never thought I'd hear you say that," she said, "you've always been desperate to get back to work after any time off sick."

Sam smiled back at her. "I know," she chuckled. "I don't think I've ever not wanted to go to work before. It'll be fine. There are some things I'm looking forward to in fact. I want to finish work on the artefact that Daniel brought back from PR6-921; it's some sort of communication device that I think might yield some interesting technologies. I want to see Daniel too, I've kinda missed him. And Teal'c, of course. And Vala promised me a look at the notes she stole about the cargo ship engine. Actually," she grinned, "there's quite a bit I'm keen to get on with. It'll be good to be back."

"That's what I like to hear," Janet laughed, "you're definitely getting back to your old self!"

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"An interview?" Cassie sounded excited. "When?" she demanded.

"Friday," Anna told her. "It's only a temporary post, just maternity leave, a year at most. But it's teaching English literature to teenagers," she was full of enthusiasm. "Which is my favorite thing to do."

"But your parents and Izzie arrive Friday!" Cassie reminded her that her family were coming for a visit.

"I know, Cass," Anna replied, "but the interview is at 9am, and their flight doesn't arrive until 5.30pm, I think I'll probably just about make it to the airport on time!"

Cassie grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, of course," she said, "I'd clean forgotten that. So maybe you'll have good news for them when they arrive?"

"I hope so," Anna told her, "after all, if you're an impoverished student, my chances of being a 'kept woman' are pretty low!"

"I was rather hoping it might be the other way round," Cassie joked. "I thought I'd found a rich woman to see me through my studies!"

"Some chance of that!" Anna smiled. "Izzie can't wait to see you again, you know," she knew her sister adored Cassie.

"I can't wait to see her either," Cassie said, "and your parents. It seems like a lifetime ago when we last saw them in London. I wonder what they'll think of Mom and Sam?"

"They'll love them!" Anna declared. "Dad in particular will adore Sam; he's always liked motorbikes, so my guess is we're going to have trouble keeping him out of that garage."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Vala!" Sam was surprised to see Vala at the door of her lab. She had been back at the mountain for three days, and was pleased at how well it was all going; it was as if she had never taken time off, and she was enjoying her work as much as always.

"Hi Samantha," Vala said jauntily. "Just thought I'd drop in and see how things are going."

"They're going great, thanks," Sam replied. She looked closely at Vala, and realized that the kooky alien had something on her mind. "Is everything okay with you?"

"Me?" Vala tried to laugh off Sam's concern. "Oh I'm fine," she said. "Great in fact."

"You look kinda... tense," Sam came straight to the point. "Is something worrying you?"

Vala looked at her embarrassed. "Sort of," she finally admitted. "I'm a little worried about Daniel."

"Daniel?" Sam asked. "Is something wrong?"

"Not wrong as such," Vala said. She looked closely at Sam. "I can trust you, right?"

"Of course you can," Sam said gently. "If you want to tell me something, I swear I'll keep it to myself. I won't even tell Janet if you don't want me to."

"It's just that Daniel and I. We're. Well, we're... together."

"Oh Vala, that's fantastic!" Sam cried enthusiastically, running over to give her friend a warm hug. "That's such good news. I always said you two should be together!"

Vala smiled. "I loved him the first day I saw him," she said, uncharacteristically serious. Then she grinned. "It just took him a little longer to catch on!"

"So how long have you been together?" Sam wanted to know.

"Just under two weeks," Vala replied, "so it's early days."

"The first two weeks are magical," Sam remembered, "I'm just so pleased for you guys. So how did you get him to come to his senses?" she asked with a grin.

"It's all thanks to Ba'al!" Vala winked. "Well, kind of. It's funny, actually. Daniel saw me flirting with Ba'al's host after the extraction, and suddenly realized that he was jealous! He stewed about it a couple of days, and then he came to talk to me. And we've been together ever since. It's wonderful, actually, Samantha. To be with somebody who loves you for what you are. You don't have to act any more. I feel I can finally just be myself with Daniel."

Sam smiled in agreement. "It's the best feeling in the world, isn't it?"

"I forgot you've got the same thing with Janet," said Vala. "How long have you two been together now?"

"Almost eleven years," Sam mused. "Eleven wonderful years."

"What's it like after all that time?" Vala asked. "Do you start taking each other for granted? Do you ever get bored with each other?"

"Never," said Sam. "Never for one moment have I been bored with Janet. Every day is better than the last. I go to bed and think I can never love her more than I do. And then I wake up the next morning, and find that I do. Is that what's worrying you Vala? That things'll change between you? Things _will_ change, there's no doubt about that. But it'll be for the better. The 'honeymoon period' wears off, granted, but it just gives way to something better, deeper."

Vala smiled gently. "That's good to know, Samantha," she said. "No," she admitted. "I'm not worried about that. In some ways I'm looking forward to that, to seeing how our relationship develops. No, it's not a big thing. It's just Daniel. He's been having bad dreams in the last few days. Keeps dreaming he's lost his leg, and he's quite shaken when he wakes up, he says it all seems so real. You said on Monday that you'd been having nightmares, that that was why you'd taken that time off, but you were okay now. I just wanted to know if you had any advice?"

Sam was stunned; she lowered herself into a chair. "Frostbite?" she asked shakily.

"What?" Vala asked.

"When he told you he'd dreamt losing his leg, was it due to frostbite?" Sam wanted to know.

"It was, actually," Vala admitted. "How did you know that?"

"It's not a dream, it's a reality," Sam tried to explain. "From a different timeline. That's the same dreams I was having. Look, do you think you could get Daniel to come talk to me? I'll tell him all about it, and I can put him in touch with a wonderful hypnotherapist who can help him through this. It's nothing to worry about," she saw Vala's concerned expression. "It's an alternate timeline, that started at Ba'al's extraction. But we all worked to fix the timeline, and it's all come good again."

"All of us?" Vala wanted to know. "Even me?"

Sam was at a loss for words. "No," she admitted eventually. "You weren't part of SG-1 in that timeline. You were..."

"Qetesh," Vala supplied, bitterly.

Sam stood up and reached out to Vala. "Yes," she admitted, "but you're not any longer. You're here. With us. With Daniel. And that's the way it's going to stay."

Vala nodded miserably.

"Go get Daniel," Sam commanded. "We'll fix this all today. And then, if Daniel agrees, we can tell Janet you two are together, and then we'll all go to dinner to celebrate. Would that be okay?" she looked anxiously at Vala. "We don't have to tell Janet," she said hurriedly, "not until you're ready."

Vala smiled. "Of course we must tell Janet, and I know Daniel will want to too, he loves Janet. And you."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

That night, the celebration was larger than expected. Daniel was so relieved that his dreams were memories that he was happy for all his close friends to know about him and Vala. So they had to get an extra-large table at the restaurant to seat Daniel, Vala, Sam, Janet, Cassie, Anna, Anna's family, Teal'c, O'Neill and Cam Mitchell.

"I would like to propose a toast," Daniel said as they were all seated. "To Vala, the love of my life. And to good friends, without whom life would be very empty!"

Everybody cheered and raised their glasses.


	41. Chapter 41 EXPECTATIONS

"Cass? Cass?" Anna nudged her gently. "It's time to wake up sweetheart."

Cassie mumbled incomprensibly.

"Cassandra?" Anna's tone became stricter. "Come on, hon, we can't stay in bed all day."

Cassie opened one eye and smiled. "Can't we?" she asked, her voice still croaky from sleep.

Anna laughed. "It's 9.30am," she scolded. "We've got to get up, showered, have breakfast and pick up Mum, Dad and Izzie at their hotel by 11.30am. And don't forget we promised Sam we'd give Toby a good long walk this morning before we go out."

Cassie looked at her watch blearily. "We've really got to start going to bed earlier," she muttered.

"We were in bed before 10pm last night," Anna reminded her with a smile.

"Oh yeah," Cassie remembered, smiling back. "Well we've really got to start going to sleep earlier then!"

Anna grinned, and leant down, kissing Cassie very softly. "If I remember correctly, Miss Fraiser," she said in a mock-strict tone, "you showed very little interest in sleeping last night."

Cassie grinned widely. "It's all coming back to me now," she said. "Well sometimes I have different priorities!"

"C'mon," Anna pulled at her arm, "we've got to get moving."

"Suppose we skipped breakfast?" Cassie suggested, a coy look on her face. "That'd save us about 20 minutes, wouldn't it? And your parents are taking us all to lunch, so we're gonna eat soon anyway."

Anna grinned. "I suppose you're right about that."

"And," Cassie went on, "and this is just a suggestion. Suppose you went to get them on your own, while I walk Toby. That'll save another, what, 40 minutes? The restaurant's near here anyway, it's not as if you'll be going out of your way to pick me up on the way back."

Anna knew exactly where this was leading. "Uh huh," she agreed, "so just what do you propose we do with the hour that we've saved?"

"Oh I don't know," Cassie replied, reaching up and unbuttoning Anna's pajama top. "I suppose we could probably think of something. If we concentrated real hard."

Anna squeaked as Cassie's hand found its target. "We'd better get thinking then, huh?" she said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

After that first morning when Vala told Sam about her relationship with Daniel, and about Daniel's memories of the alternate timeline, the two couples became even closer. Daniel had long been a good friend of both Sam and Janet, but that was as a single man. The dynamic changed with Vala in the mix, but for the better. Vala was a kook, granted, but deep down she was also kind and gentle, and when she loved, she loved fiercely.

Almost immediately after Vala got together with Daniel, Sam noticed a softening in her approach. She was still funny, and sometimes confrontational, but she was also more settled, quieter and easier to communicate with. Vala took to dropping in on Sam in her lab most mornings before she started work. Sam always arrived a good hour before Vala, and she started to look forward to her private coffee delivery; Vala never appeared without an offering of caffeine.

Sam was touched by Vala's openness when she told her how much it meant to her, being in love, and feeling secure with Daniel. Sam realized that it was probably the first time in her life that she had felt completely safe. When she discussed it with Janet, Janet reminded her that Vala always appeared strong and self-sufficient on the outside, but she had been through some terrible ordeals, not least having to give birth to Adria and the traumas that followed. "She's got to have baggage, honey," Janet pointed out, "and maybe at last she's able to lower some of her defenses. She's good for Daniel, huh?"

Sam nodded and smiled. "Yeah, she really is," she said. "It's kinda weird, 'cos in some ways they're so different. But they just... work together somehow."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

"That was a great lunch, Roy, thank you," Cassie said to Anna's father as they climbed out of the car back at the house.

"It was my pleasure, Cassandra," Roy replied warmly. "It's just good to see you two girls with such good appetites."

Cassie had to school her face to a neutral expression, making absolutely sure that Anna didn't catch her eye.

"Cassie?" Izzie asked her 'sister-in-law'. "Is it okay if I check my emails?"

"Of course it's okay," Cassie said. "Come through to the study. Sam's got a new Mac, it's super fast, you'll love it." And she and Izzie went through to the study.

Cassie led Izzie to a chair in front of the computer, and she started it up, launching the browser. "You should be able to get into your email from there, Iz," she told her. "Want me to help?"

Izzie smiled and shook her head. "No, that's okay, I should be able to do it."

Cassie couldn't contain a wide smile of pride. Impulsively she hugged Izzie. "I don't think there's anything you can't do, if you put your mind to it," she said. "You're amazing, Izzie."

Izzie smiled back. "I like to do things if I can," she explained. "Sometimes I take a long time to do them, though."

Cassie put her hand on Izzie's shoulder. "Well there's no hurry to do anything today, Iz," she said softly. "You just take your time. Your Dad wants to wait until Sam gets home from work anyway, there's something he wants to ask her about carburetors!"

Izzie laughed.

Anna appeared at the door shortly afterwards, carrying three mugs precariously balanced. "Tea!" she declared, handing over two of the mugs and settling herself on the small couch in the corner of the room. "Did you hear from your friend Clara?" she asked Izzie.

"Yes," Cassie replied. "There's an email here from her. She says she's having a great holiday with her family. She says she sent us a postcard. I suppose it'll be at home when we go back?"

Anna nodded. "Yes, it should be there by the time you return. Anything interesting from anyone else Iz?"

Izzie shook her head. "I don't think so," she was painstakingly checking her inbox. "Oh," she said, surprised. "There's one from John at work."

A few minutes later, Izzie cried out in distress.

"What is it Izzie?" Cassie was the first to reach her. "Is everything okay?"

Izzie looked up at her, tears in her eyes. "They're shutting the care home," she said. "In three months. The place where I work." And a single tear rolled down her cheek.

"Oh Iz, I'm so sorry," Cassie hated seeing the distraught look on her face. "C'm'here," and she wrapped her arms round the girl, looking up in anguish at Anna. She felt inadequate, and didn't know how to comfort the young woman.

"I'll get Mum," Anna mouthed, disappearing from the room.

Cassie tightened her grip on Izzie. "It'll be okay," she said soothingly, not knowing if that was true or not. "You'll get another job."

Izzie nodded. "I know," she said miserably. "But I'll miss them. The residents. They're so kind and lovely. Well," she grimaced, "all except Betsy, that is. Betsy's mean. But the others, where will they go? What will they do? Who's going to look after them? Who's going to make sure that Mary's tea is really hot and strong, just how she likes it? Or that Ben won't eat his vegetables if they've touched the meat? Will they be okay?" and she looked up trustingly into Cassie's face, and started to cry in earnest.

"Oh sweetheart," Cassie held her close. "We'll make sure they go somewhere nice. We'll phone, and email, we'll check they're doing okay."

"We can go and visit too, Isabella," Carolyn had entered the room and crouched down by her daughter. "And if you think there's anything wrong with where they are, we'll kick up an almighty stink and we'll fix it. I promise you."

Izzie looked at her mother. "You promise?"

"I certainly do," her mother replied. "It'll be alright Izzie."

"I'll have to find a new job," Izzie sounded morose.

"Yes, you will," Carolyn replied. "About that Izzie. Your Dad and I have been talking."

"What about?" Izzie wanted to know.

"All sorts of things," Carolyn replied. "About Cassie, for one."

Cassie looked startled; Anna stepped behind her and wrapped her arms round her from behind.

"What about Cassie?" Izzie asked.

"You like Cassie, don't you?" Carolyn questioned Izzie.

"Yes!" Izzie replied firmly. "I like her a lot. I love her. She's kind. And she's pretty. And she makes Anna so happy," she smiled. "Not like Tina. I want Cassie to be my sister."

"She's going to be your sister," Anna told her. "Once we're married, it'll all be legal. We'll all be related."

"That makes me happy," Izzie said.

Carolyn smiled at her daughters. "Your Dad and I love Cassie too," she said gently. "And now we've got to know Sam and Janet, we love them too. But there's only one problem." Izzie looked up. "And that's distance," Carolyn continued. "Cassie and Anna have decided to settle over here, and that's great. It's a wonderful place to live, and we know that Sam and Janet will look after them. But Roy and I were thinking. You know your Dad's just retired, don't you Izzie?"

Izzie nodded.

"And I'm writing books now," Carolyn went on. "So we were thinking. There's nothing keeping us in England really. And it would be great for my writing if we could live somewhere rural, peaceful. So we wondered what you'd think if we came over to live near here? Maybe near the lake or something? Somewhere close enough so you could get a bus to the town for work, but far enough out we can enjoy the peace? What do you think?"

Izzie beamed with delight. She leapt up out of the chair, and flung her arms round her mother. "I think it's a great idea," she said enthusiastically. "When can we move?"

Carolyn laughed. "It'll take time to sort out. And we haven't asked Anna and Cassie what they think?"

"I think it's the best news I've heard for a long time!" Cassie exclaimed, and was thrilled to see the expression of delight on Anna's face. "We both love the idea, don't we Annie?"

Anna nodded, too moved to speak. She went over and pulled her mother and sister into a hug. "Neighbors," she said, "we'll be neighbors."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

"Black, strong, no sugar," Vala handed over Sam's coffee with a flourish. "Just how you like it colonel,"she grinned.

"Actually I like it with milk," Sam smiled, taking the proffered cup.

"I know," Vala winked, "I was just kidding. The coffee's white."

Sam grinned, taking a deep draught of the liquid.

"So what's new?" she asked Vala. "Did you and Daniel go out last night?"

Vala shook her head. "He had to go visit an old college friend yesterday," she said. "Overnight. He'll be back here in," she looked at her watch, "about 93 minutes."

Sam smiled. "You've got it bad, haven't you?"

Vala smiled in reply. "Actually," she said, looking thoughtful. "If I'm honest, I've never felt this way about anybody before. I mean, there have been a few men along the way, of course there have. And some of them I was real fond of. But Daniel. Daniel's different. For the first time, I don't feel I need anything but him. He makes me feel... wanted. I don't think I've ever really felt that before."

Sam put her hand on Vala's arm. "That's so great, Vala," she said softly. "You two are great together. Daniel's never looked so happy either," she said. "You're just what he needs."

Vala smiled again. "Thank you Samantha," she said sincerely, "you don't know what that means to me. Anyway," she changed the subject. "What you working on today?"

Sam's face lit up; she loved any excuse to talk technobabble to anybody who would listen - and not many people did listen as most knew they had no chance of keeping up with her. "It's a new shield generator," she told Vala. "It's portable, which is the most important thing. The main problem we have right now is speed. So far, we've managed to cut the generating time down to eight seconds, but of course that's far too long. Somehow, if I can develop a power source that is sufficiently small but which can generate a faster burst of energy... Vala?" Sam saw her friend turn suddenly pale, and clutch at the wall. "Are you okay?"

"M'okay," Vala said unconvincingly. "I just... oh God," she clamped her hand over her mouth and bolted to the nearest bathroom which, fortunately, was only just along the corridor.

Sam sprinted after her, but when she heard retching noises from within, she tactfully held back. After a few minutes, the noises subsided, and she heard the toilet flush. She knocked gently on the door. "Vala? Can I come in?" At that moment, a pale and shaken Vala emerged from the stall.

"Sorry," Vala said thickly. "Must have eaten something that disagreed with me. Same thing happened yesterday too, I've got to be more careful what I eat."

Sam put a gentle arm round her shoulders, and was concerned to realize she was trembling. "I think we should drop in at the infirmary, don't you? Just to be sure?"

Vala was about to protest, but saw the firm look on Sam's face. "Okay," she agreed reluctantly. "But I'm not wearing one of those gowns that shows your butt to everyone, okay?"

"Okay," Sam smiled. "It's a deal. The doctor's a friend of mine," she winked at Vala, "I think we can negotiate."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS**

Janet looked up as she heard a knock on her office door. "Sam!" she exclaimed. "Vala, are you okay?" she saw Sam's arm round Vala's shoulders.

"Vala's not feeling great," Sam said. "I told her you'd have her back on her feet in no time."

Janet led Vala to a chair. "We'll certainly do what we can," she brushed the hair from Vala's face.

"I'll wait for you outside," Sam said to Vala.

"No," Vala said. "I want you to stay. Will you stay Samantha?"

"If you're sure?" Sam didn't want to intrude. "I don't want to get in the way."

"I want you here," Vala insisted. "Please?"

"Okay, then," Sam drew up a chair. "I'll be here for as long as you want me."

Janet took Vala's blood pressure, and checked her heart rate. "So what's going on with you Vala?"

"I threw up," Vala said miserably.

"Just now?" Janet asked.

"Yeah," she agreed.

"And yesterday," Sam prompted gently.

"Oh yeah, and yesterday. But I felt better later, I'm sure it's nothing. I'll be fine," Vala said.

"How are your energy levels?" Janet wanted to know.

"Actually, I've been really tired this last week," Vala said. "I just seem to want to sleep. And nothing else. Poor Daniel," she smiled ruefully, "I haven't wanted ... you know."

Janet smiled, and rested her hand on Vala's shoulder. "Tell me, Vala, have your breasts felt tender at all?"

Vala looked up. "Yeah, they have. How did you know that? For the last few days... oh my God," realization dawned. "I'm not? Surely, I can't be? We've been careful."

"I can't be sure," Janet said. "Not until you take a test. But it does sound as though it's a distinct possibility. Look, why don't you do the test now? At least then you'll know." She walked to the other side of her office and reached into a drawer. She passed the box over to Vala. "Bathroom's over there," she said. "You know how it works?"

Vala nodded grimly. "Okay," she said in a quiet voice.

After ten minutes, there was still no sound from the bathroom.

"Vala?" Janet knocked on the door. "Are you okay in there?" No response. "Vala?" Janet called again. "Can I come in?" At that moment, the door opened; Vala stood there, holding a stick.

"Two blue lines," she said.

Sam approached her friend. "Vala? Are you okay?"

Vala looked up at Sam, and her face crumpled, big fat tears started to roll down her cheeks.

Sam reached out and pulled her friend into a tight hug, and just held her as she sobbed. Eventually the sobbing slowed enough for Sam to lead her to the couch. "Vala?" she asked, "what is it? Don't you want the baby?"

"Yeah," Vala's voice was muffled. "I do. It's just... Adria. I can't go through that again."

"And you won't have to," Janet's voice was gentle but firm. "This isn't an alien baby, this is something you made, you and Daniel. This baby's gonna be wonderful."

"Oh God," Vala said. "Daniel! What's he gonna think? Oh shit, he's going to think I tricked him. That this is one of my stupid games, that I'm trying to trap him. He's..."

"Shh," Sam said firmly. "Daniel won't think any such thing. He loves you Vala, surely you know that? And I know you've played games in the past, but that's all in the past. He loves who you are now. And my guess," she smiled at her friend, "my guess is that he'll be thrilled. Daniel's always wanted to be a father."

"He'd be a great father," Vala said in a quiet voice.

"And you're gonna be a great mom," Sam told her.

"Will you tell him for me?" Vala looked small and scared.

Sam took her hand. "No," she said as gently as she could. "I won't. You should tell him. He'll want to hear it from you. He'll be here soon, right?"

Vala nodded.

"Well I'll go find him in a little while. And I'll bring him here. And you're gonna make him the happiest man alive, I just know it."

Janet came over to Vala, and wrapped a warm blanket round her shoulders. "Okay?" she asked her.

"Yeah," Vala said. "Thank you. Both of you. Thank you for being my friends."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSå**

"Infirmary?" Daniel asked. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Sam smiled at him. "I swear to you. Just come with me, please? It'll all become clear very soon." She led him to Janet's office, and pushed him inside. She and Janet waited outside the office, and only just managed to restrain themselves from pressing their ears to the door.

Less than two minutes after he entered, he came running out of the room. He saw Sam first, and rushed up to her, embracing her enthusiastically. He then turned to Janet, and lifted her clean off the floor, swinging her round. "I'm gonna be a dad!" he yelled. "We're having a baby. I'm dating the most beautiful woman in the world, and we're having a baby together!"

Sam nodded and grinned. "That's so great, Daniel, I told Vala you'd be thrilled."

"Oh God you were right," he hugged her again.

"Just one thing, though, Daniel," there was mirth in Sam's voice.

"Huh?" Daniel was watching Vala as she came toward the open door of the office.

"I'm the one dating the most beautiful woman in the world. Just so's we're clear on that."

Janet grinned. "Back at ya, baby," she said. "Right back at ya."


	42. Chapter 42 ALL I NEED

"So how's Vala doing?" Janet asked Daniel. "Is she feeling any better?"

Daniel smiled. "Vala's great," he said. "The morning sickness stopped on Friday, thank goodness. She's taken the day off today to look at furniture. We're gonna get a house, Janet," Daniel was hardly able to contain his excitement. "We want a place with a yard for the baby, the apartment's not right for a family."

"That's great news!" Janet exclaimed. "Where are you moving to?"

Daniel grinned. "We haven't found a place yet," he admitted, "but Vala insists she wants to shop today anyway. She's only window shopping, she promised not to buy anything until we find a house."

"Well it's all very exciting," Janet said with a smile. "That's great Daniel. So how are you feeling about becoming a father?"

"Fantastic," Daniel couldn't stop smiling. "Seriously, Janet, it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. And I know Vala's a kook, but she's gonna be a great mother. She's a lot more sensible than she seems, truly."

"She'll be a wonderful mother," Janet said, "and you'll be a great Dad. That kid's lucked out to get you two as parents."

"Are you okay, Janet?" Daniel asked. "You seem awful quiet."

Janet looked up, startled. "I'm fine," she answered, almost too quickly. Daniel didn't reply, but continued to look at her intently. "Really," she insisted. "I'm okay. Everything's good. I'm a bit worried about Sam, is all."

"In what way?" Daniel asked. "She's not getting the nightmares any more, is she?"

"No, thank God," Janet said with relief. "She's okay. It's just sometimes she goes real quiet. But I know that she hasn't told me everything she remembers from the other timeline. She's said as much to me, that there are some things she hasn't told me yet. I just worry that she's keeping something bad to herself, that she's trying to protect me. I don't want her to be carrying that kind of burden around."

"I'm sure she'll be fine," Daniel said reassuringly. "Want me to talk to her?"

"There's no need, I don't want to worry her," Janet said. "I just want her to be okay, you know?"

Daniel nodded. "I do know," he said. "You love her, and you don't want anything to be wrong."

Janet hugged him impulsively. "That's just it," her voice was muffled in his shoulder.

She pulled back. "I have to go," she told him. "I'm due at the Academy hospital in half an hour, I'm working there this afternoon. Look, Daniel, don't worry. I'm just overreacting, I know it. It's probably hormones or something," she laughed. "Everything's fine. Everything's good. I'm with Sam, nothing can ever be bad with her in my life."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

What Daniel didn't tell Janet was that he remembered most of what happened in the other timeline, and he guessed that what Sam hadn't told Janet was that, in that timeline, they were having a baby. He didn't know why Sam had held back, but he was pretty sure that she had, since neither of them had mentioned expanding their family. And babies were on all their minds, with Vala's pregnancy the talk of the base.

He decided to take it upon himself to speak with Sam, to see if there was some reason for her actions - or lack of actions.

However, there was no sign of her when he got to her lab. He looked at his watch, and realized it was lunch time. Thinking she was probably in the commissary, he headed down there, but she wasn't there either. "Have you seen Colonel Carter today?" he asked one of the orderlies casually.

"Yes, sir," the orderly replied. "You just missed her. She was here about 10 minutes ago; picked up a sandwich and a bottle of water. She's likely back in her lab."

Daniel was perturbed, he couldn't work out where she could be. Then he had a sudden brainwave; on rare occasions, when Sam wanted to think something out, she would go to the surface. There was a large tree around the back where she loved to sit. He headed for the elevator.

"Hey," Daniel said quietly when he found Sam who was, as he expected, under the tree. Her eyes were closed, the sandwich and water untouched at her feet.

Sam's eyes opened, and she smiled when she saw Daniel. "Hey Daniel," she said.

"Okay if I join you?" Daniel gestured to the ground next to her.

"Of course," Sam said. "It's good to see you. Is everything okay? Is Vala alright?"

"She's great," Daniel said. "Taking a day to do some shopping, but she's feeling good. What about you Sam, are you okay?"

"Yeah," Sam said, "everything's great with me too."

Daniel cocked his head and scrutinized her. "So why haven't you told Janet about the baby?" he came straight to the point.

Sam jumped. She was about to deny any problem, but then she looked into Daniel's eyes, and knew it just wouldn't wash. She took a deep breath. "I don't know, really," she said slowly. "Well, I do in a way. Just how much do you remember from the other timeline?" she asked him.

"All of it, I think," Daniel said. "I remember very clearly how happy you and Janet were to be having a baby. That's why I'm surprised that you haven't told her. Especially with Vala's pregnancy. Don't you want to have a baby with Janet in this timeline?"

Sam looked stricken. "Oh God, no, no it's not that," she said. "There's nothing I'd like more. I can't think of anything better than holding a baby that Janet has carried, that she's given birth to. But," and she was furious to realize that tears were threatening to fall. "It's not that simple."

"Why not?" Daniel's voice was gentle, and he took her hand in a gesture of friendship.

"Her scar," Sam was blunt. "From P3X-666. You remember what happened then, don't you?"

Daniel paled. He remembered better than most that terrible day. He remembered that Janet was shot with a staff weapon when she was tending to a wounded airman. He remembered cradling her in his arms, her blood all over his jacket and pants. He remembered Sam running hell for leather over to them both, and gently taking Janet from him and insisting on carrying her herself back to the 'gate. He also remembered how close they had all come to losing Janet. He remember O'Neill reluctantly having to restrain Sam after she made herself sick by using the healing device on her lover too often and had collapsed in the infirmary. There was nothing about that terrible time that he didn't remember. He just nodded.

"The scar's still there, Daniel," Sam said quietly. "And we none of us know if it's damaged her chances of carrying a baby. It's possible that everything's okay. But it's also possible that there's too much damage, that she can't carry a baby to term."

Daniel hadn't realized that this thought had been playing on Sam's mind, and he hugged her to him. "I'm sorry Sam," he said, "I hadn't thought of that. But don't you think you owe it to Janet to let her decide whether it's worth a try?"

Sam looked pained. "Suppose it doesn't work, though?" she said. "I don't want Janet to think she's failed me in any way if she can't have a baby. So I'm wary of telling her how happy she made me in the other timeline when the pregnancy was confirmed. I don't want her to think she might be denying me that. Because the only thing that matters," her voice rose, "is that Janet is with me. Sure, it would be great to have a baby. God, it would be wonderful," her eyes misted over. "But that would just be the icing on the cake. If we can't have babies - either of us, there's no guarantee I could ever have a baby, not after all my body's been though - it wouldn't matter. Janet is all that really matters. As long as I have her, I have everything I need."

"Then why don't you tell her that?" Daniel's voice was soft and caring. "She's worried about you Sam. She told me not to talk to you about it, but she thinks something's making you unhappy. And that's making her unhappy. I think she's strong enough to know everything, she can decide for herself. She loves you too Sam."

Sam sniffed and looked straight in his eyes. "I know," she said, "and knowing that makes my life complete. You're right, Daniel, I've been selfish. I'll go talk to her now."

"She's at the hospital this afternoon," Daniel reminded her.

"Oh damn, of course she is. Well, I don't care. I'm going there. Will you cover for me here? Tell them I had to go. It's not too busy today, I don't think General O'Neill will mind."

"Jack'll be fine about it," Daniel said. "Go. Talk to Janet. And Sam," he said as she stood up to leave. "Don't forget your sandwich, huh? Janet'll be pissed if you don't eat."

"I'll eat it in the car," Sam put her hand on Daniel's arm. "Thank you Daniel. You're a good friend."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet returned to her office after doing her rounds of the wards. The hospital was uncharacteristically quiet, so for once she was able to take things at an even pace. She shut the door of her office behind her, and was startled to hear "hey," from Sam who was sitting quietly in the corner, a book in her hand.

"Sam!" Janet exclaimed. "What are you doing here? Are you okay Sam? Is something wrong?" worry crossed her features.

Sam stood up and took Janet in her arms. "I'm great, honey," she said gently. "Really, I'm good. I just wanted to see you, is all." And very softly she kissed Janet on the lips. "I wanted to kiss you."

"How did you get out of the mountain?" Janet demanded.

"I just told them I was going to see you. It's okay, Daniel's covering for me. It's not like I make a habit of taking off, is it?" Sam grinned.

"So he talked to you then," Janet looked disappointed. "Oh Sam, I'm sorry. I'm overreacting, I know I am. I told him not to say anything."

"He said that," Sam's voice was soft, with no hint of recrimination. "But he remembered something from the other timeline, and he felt he had to speak to me. He was right Jan, don't be pissed at him. He did the right thing. C'mon, let's sit. I want to talk to you. If you've got time, that is?"

Janet nodded. "It's very quiet here today. Wait," she went over and locked the door to her office and lowered the blinds. She pushed Sam toward the small couch, and settled herself next to her, taking her hand in both of hers. "Is it something bad from the other timeline?" She looked worried.

Sam kissed her again. "No, baby," she told her. "It's nothing bad, I swear. And I'll tell you everything, right now, I swear. But before I tell you, I want you to know one thing. You are my life. I never guessed it would be possible to be this happy. Really, I had no idea. Before I met you, my life was good. Great, even. I had a wonderful job, I'd had some great love affairs. I looked forward to waking up each morning, to see what challenges the day would bring. I had great friends. Things were real good. But when I met you, suddenly everything was different. I swear, I didn't know it was possible to be this happy." She saw the tears gathering in Janet's eyes. "You opened up my life more than I thought possible, Jan. Everything about you is just so amazing." She cupped her cheek, and ran her fingers lightly down Janet's face. "It's not just making love to you, though that is nothing short of spectacular," Sam grinned. "It's being with you. Growing with you. Being a family. You were incredibly beautiful when we first met, when we were both so young. But you're even more beautiful now. Truly Janet, all I need is you. Even if I had to live in a cave, as long as I had enough to keep you well and happy, that's all I need."

"Why are you saying all this?" Janet's voice hitched in her throat. "It's something bad, isn't it?"

"No Jan, it really isn't," she took a deep breath. "In the other timeline, I hated my life. Until I found you. And you were so brave, baby. Risking being with me again, having already lost me once. You took that chance on me honey. But," her voice shook, "we decided to take another chance. We decided to have a baby," Sam's words were hurried, as if she feared she wouldn't get them out if she didn't speak fast. "Before things changed back, you were nearly six months' pregnant."

Janet looked at Sam in shock. "I was having a baby?" she asked.

"You were," Sam nodded. "And you were so beautiful. You've never looked more beautiful. We were real happy about it."

Janet looked shocked.

"I know it's a lot to take in, sweetheart," Sam's words were very gentle. "But Daniel thought I shouldn't keep it from you any more. Jan, it doesn't mean you have to have a baby in this timeline. I know things aren't as simple here. In that timeline, you'd never been to P3X-666," Janet flinched at the mention of that planet. "So you'd never been shot. You didn't have to have all those operations," Sam ran her hand over Janet's abdomen, gentling the scarred area under her shirt. "Things were different. Which is why I want you to know that the only thing that matters to me is being with you. I love you, just as you are. You're perfect to me Jan. Never forget that."

Janet looked at her lover. "Thank you for telling me baby," she said quietly. "And I see why you didn't want to say anything. You were trying to protect me. As you have always protected me. I love you so much Sam," she reached up and kissed her.

Sam saw a single tear slide down Janet's cheek.

"Take me home?" Janet asked her lover. "Now. Please?"

"Can you leave now?" Sam asked her, knowing that Janet was due to work until 5pm.

"I'll clear it," Janet's voice was determined. "Can you wait there a few minutes?"

"I'll wait for you for ever," Sam told her.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet put her hand over Sam's on the gear shift, interlacing her fingers with her own. They hardly spoke on the way home. Once they got back in the house, Sam guided Janet to the couch, returning five minutes later with two mugs of tea. She pushed gently against Janet, and insinuated herself behind her, Janet in her arms leaning back against her. They drank their tea in silence, both reveling in the warmth and closeness they had with each other.

Once they had finished, Janet shifted in Sam's arms, turning to kiss her deeply. "Make love to me?" she asked. "Please?"

Wordlessly, Sam got up from the couch, and put a hand out to Janet, pulling her to her feet. She led her upstairs and guided her into the bedroom, closing the door behind them. She slid one hand round Janet's waist. "You're so perfect," she said, her voice husky.

Several hours later, they collapsed back on the bed, remaining tightly intertwined. "Sam?" Janet's voice was small.

"Yeah, baby?" Sam said, taking her hand.

"I think I want to try," Janet said. "I think it's worth a try. We can look into it. I've never had a proper gynaecological scan. Can we do that? See what our chances are?"

Sam leant up on one elbow. "Do you really want to?" she tried to keep the excitement out of her voice. "It might all lead to nothing, we have to be prepared for that."

"I think I can handle that," Janet said. "But I don't think I could handle never even trying. What do you say baby? Shall we schedule a scan?"

Sam kissed her. "I think that's a wonderful idea," she told her. "If that's what you want."

"It is," Janet said firmly. "It really is."

Sam pulled Janet to her, and they drifted off to sleep.

Less than an hour later, they both awoke at the sound of the front door slamming.

"Shit!" Sam said, "Cass and Anna."

"What's wrong?" Janet asked, a distinct twinkle in her eye. "Don't you want them to know we took the afternoon off just to fool around?"

Sam looked embarrassed. "I know I'm being dumb. I know that they know that we... and we know that they... but we don't talk about it, do we? Anyway, they shouldn't be home yet, Cass has got classes until 7pm today, or that's what I thought." She looked at her watch, which showed it was only 5.30pm.

"Must have been canceled," Janet mused, "Cass never cuts class."

She heard the sound of feet on the stairs, accompanied by laughter. Then they heard their bedroom door opening. Janet smiled as the muffled thumps and giggles left both her and Sam in no doubt as to Cassie and Anna's plans for the afternoon. "Looks like we're not the only ones that had that idea, Sam," Janet smiled. "C'mon, let's shower, then we can take Toby for a walk. Give the girls their privacy."

Sam grinned back.


	43. Chapter 43 A GOOD CHANCE

"August 3rd?" Janet counted on her fingers. "That gives us just over five months to get everything organized," she smiled. "That's great, Cass. And Annie. Wow, so it's really going to happen, I'm thrilled," she said. "We're both thrilled, aren't we Sam?"

Sam was sitting opposite her in the kitchen, her hands round a steaming mug of coffee, a piece of toast seemingly forgotten in her hand. Her eyes had misted over, and she seemed temporarily to have lost the power of speech.

"Sam?" Janet prompted.

"Wha'?" Sam shook herself. "Oh God, yes," she beamed. "That's the best news I've had in a very long time. Our little girl is getting married. It's wonderful. I mean, I knew you were going to get married, of course I did. But setting a date, that's different," she tailed off, and looked embarrassed. "Sorry, I'm not making much sense," she smiled. "Sometimes it's just hard to believe that you're not 11 any more," she took Cassie's hand. "But you couldn't have chosen any better," she smiled warmly at Anna. "So have you decided on the venue?"

"London," Cassie said firmly. "And you're going to think we're nuts, but...," she giggled.

"Spill," Janet demanded drily.

"We were on the 'net," Cassie said. "And it says you can get married on the London Eye!"

"On the what?" Janet asked.

"Oh my God," Sam smiled widely. "It's that huge ferris wheel, hon, remember?" Sam told Janet. "Used to be the biggest in the world, when it was built that is. It's supposed to offer amazings views of London," she said. "You can really get married in there?"

"Yes, you can," Anna said. "We just thought," she looked bashful, "since London was such an important part of our courtship, and because there are no legal issues getting married in the UK, that that would be a good place to do it. The wedding'll have to be small, 'cos you can only fit 25 people in one of the cabins on the wheel. But we don't need many people. What do you think?" she looked over at her 'mothers-in-law' nervously.

"I think it's a great idea!" Janet and Sam said at exactly the same time, and laughed at their synchronicity.

"It's very romantic," Janet said in a soft voice, "it's a wonderful idea."

Cassie smiled. "You will be there, won't you?" she asked anxiously.

"Of course we will," Sam swept her up in a huge hug. "You just try stopping us, kiddo!"

"We really want both of you there, and Uncle Jack, Daniel and Teal'c," Cassie said. "Do you think they'll want to come? I know it's a long way."

"Are you kidding?" Sam laughed. "Undomesticated equines, as Teal'c would say, wouldn't keep them away. They'll be thrilled, I just know it."

Cassie beamed, and took Anna's hand. "We wouldn't want to get married without you all there," she said, surprising herself by a sudden burst of emotion. "You've been a wonderful family to me," her voice cracked. "On Hanka, I never thought it would be possible to be happy again. And right now, I couldn't be happier."

Anna tightened her grip on her lover's hand.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"You're sure you want to do this?" Sam asked as she pulled up in the parking lot at the mountain. She switched off the engine, and turned to face Janet. "You don't have to. And even if you want to, it doesn't have to be today, honey," she kept her voice gentle, noticing that Janet looked a little shaken.

Janet shook her head. "I want it to be today, Sam," she said quietly. "If it's bad news, we need to know it, so we can move on, or do something about it. And if it's not then the sooner we know that, the better, huh?"

Sam leaned over, and very softly kissed Janet on the lips. "Whatever you want, baby," she said, "then that's what we'll do. Together."

Janet nodded, and visibly fought to pull herself together. "It shouldn't take too long," her voice was stronger. "And then we'll know."

"Okay then," Sam got out of the car and went round to Janet's side, opening her door. She put out a hand to Janet. "Ready?"

Janet put her hand in Sam's. "Yes," she said. "Let's do this."

They were grateful to find the infirmary almost empty when they arrived; only Janet's head nurse Sharon was there, filling in some paperwork.

"No patients?" Janet asked her.

"Not since this morning," Sharon said. "Dr Warner's just gone to the Academy Hospital to help with an emergency appendix operation, Dr Lam's coming in to cover. She'll be here in an hour. I'm glad to see you, Janet, I was worried we'd have an emergency and no doctor."

"Siler's not on duty today," Sam said with a smile. "It'll be fine!"

"I'm not really here," Janet explained. "Though of course I'll help if you should need me. I'm gonna have a scan. I just want to know what damage has been done," she ran her hand unconsciously over her scarred stomach.

"Are you okay?" Sharon looked concerned. "I didn't realize you were still having problems from your injury."

"Oh I'm not, Sharon, I'm fine," Janet answered. She looked over at Sam, who smiled and nodded slightly. "It's just that Sam and I are considering having a baby. We just want to know if it would ever be possible for me to carry a child. It's very early days," she said, "and we don't really want people to know," she took Sam's hand and held it tight. "But we need to know what the situation is, medically, before we make any real plans."

Sharon nodded, understandingly. Both Janet and Sam were very fond of her; she was a quiet, caring individual, who never made a fuss and on whom they knew they could rely 100%. "What can I do to help?" she asked efficiently. "Let me prep the MRI while you get ready Janet. It's okay, Sam," she touched her arm affectionately. "The whole thing'll take less than an hour. And then you'll know. And then you'll deal."

Sam nodded; she hadn't realized just quite how emotional she was going to feel. "Thanks," she said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"It could be worse," Janet's voice sounded tense. "It could be much worse." She felt Sam's strong, warm hand enveloping her own, and suddenly realized that she _could_ cope with whatever the future held - as long as Sam was with her.

"Just what are we looking at here?" Sam asked gently. "It looks to me like one fallopian tube is damaged, is that right?"

Janet nodded. "Yeah," she said, "irreparably. You see here," her finger traced the screen, "there's no way that could ever be reattached. And the ovary's had it too. But," she angrily wiped a tear she hadn't wanted to fall, "the good news is that the other one looks okay. And the ovary."

"So what exactly does this mean?" Sam asked.

"It means our chances have just halved," Janet said. "It'll take us twice as long. Or maybe it won't happen at all."

"But it's still possible, right?" Sam probed gently.

"Yeah," she said. She smiled at her lover. "It's still possible. More than possible, there's still a good chance. It might take us a long time. But I think we've got a good chance, honey. We just have to be prepared in case it doesn't happen for us."

"The only thing that really matters is that _you're_ okay, baby," Sam kissed her. "So right now I'm happy. You're so brave to have the scan, I know how difficult that was for you."

"Let's go home, huh?" Janet was suddenly exhausted. "We'll talk there."

Sam got up from her chair and grabbed both their jackets, putting hers on hurriedly and gently draping Janet's round her shoulders. "Thank you," she mouthed at Sharon who had been sitting quietly in the corner of the office.

"Call me if you need me," Sharon said in a quiet voice as Sam led Janet out of the office and toward the parking lot. Sam smiled gratefully at her.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"I know you can't cook," Janet smiled, as Sam passed her a mug. "But you make a damned good cup of tea."

Sam grinned. "It's my only domestic skill," she said.

"That's not completely true," Janet said. "You replaced all the electrical wiring in the house single-handed. And you installed the air-conditioning system."

"Oh yeah," Sam smiled. "I can do _that_ kind of domesticity.

"You just can't cook," Janet stated.

"No," Sam agreed cheerfully. "I really can't, can I?" and she gave Janet a huge grin. "Good think I don't need to!"

"Are you okay, honey?" Janet asked, reaching across the kitchen table and taking her hand.

"Am _I_ okay?" Sam was startled. "Of course I am baby. I'm a little worried about you though. You've just had bad news. You need time to take it in."

"_We've_ had bad news," Janet said. "It affects us both equally. It could all still be fine, Sam, we've got to stay positive."

"I know that, Jan," Sam said softly. "As long as this doesn't mean you're going to be dealing with too much disappointment, I'd hate that."

"I'm okay, Sam," Janet was surprised to find that was true. "Really, I am. And in truth, I feel quite sanguine. If it works, that's great. And if it doesn't, well it'll be tough, but we'll deal. You'll still be with me, Cass and Anna will still be getting married, we'll still have our family. That's what really matters, isn't it baby?"

Tears gathered in Sam's eyes, and she squeezed Janet's fingers. "Yeah," she agreed huskily. "It really is. So you still want to try, honey?"

Janet nodded. "More than ever now," she said. "Now that I know there's a chance. You're a great mom, Sam," she said, "you've been wonderful with Cassie. I would love to be able to see you get the chance to be a mom to a child right from the beginning. I know Cassie's amazing, and truly I wouldn't swap her for anything. I just wish sometimes that we had known her from when she was a baby. There's so much we missed out on."

"I know," Sam mused. "Her birth mom must have been an incredible person. Her dad too. She already had such a sweet nature when we got her. Sometimes I wonder why she remained so sweet, after all she went through."

"She is amazing, isn't she?" Janet smiled. "And now Annie too. I never thought Cass could find somebody who was good enough for her, but she has, hasn't she?"

Sam nodded her agreement. Her face clouded slightly, and she put out her other hand, enveloping Janet's smaller one in both of hers. "I know there's one thing we haven't talked about Jan, and you haven't put any pressure on me about it, and for that I'm so grateful."

Janet looked at her, askance.

"Me carrying a child for us," Sam clarified.

"Oh," Janet said. "That. Well, I didn't want to put any pressure on you. I know that in the other timeline it was me that was pregnant. And you haven't suggested having any tests yourself, so I didn't want to bring it up."

"I was too scared," Sam's voice was small. "I didn't want to know what you would find. I know I'm being dumb. That you'll still love me whatever you find."

"Oh Sam, of course I will. I don't think that there's anything in this world. Or in any other worlds," Janet grinned, "that could lessen my love for you. As for babies, sweetheart, you don't ever have to have tests. Look, if you want to go ahead with this right now, why don't we see what we can do with me carrying the baby? And if that doesn't work, we can talk again later? Or not. We certainly don't have to think about it right now. Is that okay honey?" Janet peered anxiously at Sam, who looked small and scared.

"I love you," Sam's voice hitched.

"Right back at ya baby," Janet said. "More than I ever thought possible."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Annie!" Cassie was excited to see Anna waiting for her outside college that evening. "What are you doing here?"

"Just wanted to see you," Anna smiled. "I ran some errands after work, including picking up some of those cookies you like," she held up a bag that crinkled enticingly. "So I thought I'd stop by and see if I could catch you. And here you are!"

Cassie grinned, and leant in for a kiss. "I'm very glad you did," she said. "It's been a long day, and I was just thinking I didn't want to wait a moment more before I saw you. And then I didn't have to!"

"I brought the car too," Anna said, referring to the ancient car that she and Cassie shared, "so you don't have to get on the bus."

"Oh thank God," Cassie breathed, "come on then, take me home."

When they got home, Sam and Janet were curled up together on the couch, deeply asleep. Toby greeted them enthusiastically in the kitchen. "There's nothing cooking," Cassie noticed. "Mom must be tired. We'll call for take-out, huh?" she suggested to Anna. "Though," and she laughed as she looked down and saw Toby chasing his tail, "I think we should take Toby for a walk first. He's got far too much energy!" and she knelt down and caressed her much-loved dog.

"Leave them a note," Anna suggested, "we don't want Janet to cook if she wakes up, they both look exhausted."

So Cassie found a pen, and scrawled on the back of an old envelope.

_Mom, Sam, _

_We're just taking Toby for a walk, we'll pick up some take out from Mr Chan's on the way back. Relax. _

_We love you. _

_Cass _

"That dog's crazy!" Anna laughed as they reached the park, and unclipped Toby's leash. Toby took off like a rocket, heading straight for the small lake.

"I know," Cassie laughed, "and I'm gonna have to get him under the hosepipe before Mom'll let him in the house again. But he loves the water. And," her eyes twinkled, "he always plays there for at least half an hour."

"Meaning?" Anna demanded.

"Meaning we have to find something to do to fill the time," Cassie winked. "The park's empty. I thought maybe we could make out on the bench," she nodded to a bench in the far corner of the park, which was heavily shaded and almost hidden from view.

"Cassandra Fraiser, you are a very wicked woman," Anna laughed. "I'll race you to the bench then!" and she started running, her long athletic legs giving her an immediate head start over her younger lover.

Cassie was panting by the time she reached the bench. "What held you up?" Anna demanded cheekily, a wide grin on her face.

Cassie sat heavily on Anna's knee, bouncing up and down, making her as uncomfortable as possible. "Ooof," Anna said, "you're heavier than you look, you know!" pushing Cassie gently so that she ended up sitting next to her. She put one arm round Cassie's waist and pulled her tightly to her, and kissed her gently. "We've got half an hour, you say?"

Cassie nodded, "I hope so," she said, "depends how cold the water is!"

Anna kissed her again, running her hand through Cassie's soft hair. "You're so beautiful," she said lovingly, "and you're going to be my wife. I think I'm the luckiest woman in the world."

"We both are," Cassie said softly. "Thank God for Jane Austen, huh?" she said, remembering back to the book that had brought them together.

Anna leaned over and slid her hand under Cassie's jacket, fumbling with the buttons on her shirt underneath.

Suddenly, they heard the sound of barking, and in seconds Toby had bounded up to them. "Bad timing, Tobe," Cassie said. But as she looked down, she realized that the dog wasn't being playful, but was clearly agitated and barking in earnest. "Toby?" she put her hand out to him. "What is it?"

Toby started to run back toward the lake, looking over his shoulder to see if they were following. "We'd better go with him," Cassie told Anna, as she buttoned up her shirt again. "I think something might be wrong."

In a couple of minutes, and breathing hard, the two girls reached the lake, and saw Toby standing near the edge, barking noisily. "He's found something," Cassie said.

"Be careful!" Anna commanded.

"I will, sweetheart," Cassie reassured her. She stepped forward gingerly, and saw what had attracted Toby's attention. There, nestled in the rushes, was a small, grey puppy. The puppy was shivering with cold and when Cassie looked more closely, she saw a large gash on his thin leg.

"It's a dog," Cassie told Anna. "He's real young. And he's hurt. Come here, baby," she said gently to the puppy, scooping him up carefully. He was soaking wet and trembling. With one hand, Cassie stripped off her woollen jacket, and wrapped it round the dog. "We'd better get him back," she told Anna, "we need to get him warm, he's freezing."

They set off at a fast pace, and within 10 minutes were back at the house. As they came through the door, they saw that Sam and Janet had awoken, and were chatting in a relaxed fashion in the kitchen, nursing large mugs of tea.

"Hey," Sam called, "you're back quick!" She then saw the anxious look on Cassie's face. "Cass? Is everything okay?"

"We found a young dog," Cassie sounded worried. "He's hurt Sam. We brought him back, I didn't think you'd mind."

"Of course we don't mind," Janet answered, stepping over to see the small bundle in Cassie's arms. "Oh Cass, he's tiny," she said, gently stroking him. "He's all wet, let's get him warm and dry." She pushed her daughter into the living room and onto the couch. Sam ran up to the linen closet, returning with a pile of warm towels.

"I'll go and rinse Toby off," Anna volunteered, remembering the soggy dog they had left outside.

"Thanks," Cassie said gratefully, carefully peeling her by-now sodden jacket from the puppy.

Sam approached the assembled group by the couch, taking Cassie's jacket from her. She looked down at the shivering dog, and gasped. "Oh God," she said.

"Sam?" Janet asked. "Are you okay honey?"

"It's Albie," Sam said in a shocked voice. "Albert. Our dog. From the other timeline. Those are his ears, no doubt about it. Albie," she called gently, caressing his head tenderly. "Is that you boy?"

The dog looked up, seeming to recognize her voice.

"Oh God, it's him," Sam whispered, "it's definitely him."

Janet put her hand on Sam's shoulder. "Well the first thing we have to do is get him warm and dry. And this leg," she pointed to the gash, "needs wrapping. I'll get my bag," and she left the room.

"Sit down, Sam," Cassie suggested gently, patting the couch next to her. Very carefully, she passed over the young dog to her parent.

"Hey, boy," Sam whispered to the small bundle in her hands. "You're gonna be okay. We'll look after you. We'll make sure you're okay."

Albie snuggled deep into the soft towel on Sam's lap, soothed by the sound of her voice. He barely woke as Janet cleaned and wrapped his damaged leg.

"We've got to keep him, Jan," Sam said in a pleading tone. "I can't give him up."

"You don't have to baby," Janet kissed her softly. "This is his home now. He's part of the family."


	44. Chapter 44 THE NEXT STEP

Once all the fuss had died down, Cassie followed Janet into the kitchen. "D'you really think that can be Sam's dog from the other timeline?" she asked Janet in a low voice.

Janet smiled at her daughter. "Honestly? I don't know, honey," she said. "But the important thing is that Sam thinks he's the same dog. And she loves him. That's the only thing that matters. I think he likely is the same dog, Sam seems convinced, doesn't she?" and she looked through the hatchway at her lover, who was at that moment cradling the tiny puppy and feeding him with a baby's bottle that Anna had rushed out to buy from the local drugstore. "And he looks pretty comfortable too, doesn't he?" she smiled again.

"Yeah," Cassie agreed. "I'm real glad we found him. God knows how long he'd been there, or how long he would have survived."

"You did the right thing," Janet agreed.

"We got one thing wrong though," Cassie grinned.

"What's that?" Janet asked.

"We never picked up any take-out, and I'm starving," she laughed. "Annie?" she called. "Care for a trip to Mr Chan's?"

Anna readily agreed, and within half an hour, they had returned, laden down with cartons. "I'll eat later," Sam said in a quiet voice, motioning to her lap where Albie was sleeping quietly.

Once Janet had finished eating, she sat carefully on the couch next to Sam. "I'll take him," she kept her voice gentle, "you go eat."

Very tenderly, she reached over and scooped the tiny pup from Sam's lap, taking care to bring the warm blanket along. Albie woke briefly, and seemed to look blearily at Janet before deciding that he was happy with his new seat. "He likes you baby," Sam smiled.

"What's not to like?" Janet joked.

"Nothin'," Sam agreed. "Nothin' at all," and she leant over for a soft kiss before heading toward the kitchen.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Just for a week, baby," Janet's voice was pleading. "He's so tiny."

Sam smiled. "He shouldn't get used to sleeping in our bedroom, Jan," she said. "He has to learn that his place is downstairs," she saw Janet's face. "A few days," she agreed reluctantly. "Then we'll get him his own basket, and he can stay down here with Toby. Toby'll look after him, won't you Tobe?" she affectionately caressed their dog. "It's probably best he stays with us for a few days, at least until he's recovered fully. But after that, we bring him back down. Okay?"

Janet readily agreed. She knew that Sam wanted him upstairs anyway, she just wanted Sam to think it was her idea, so Sam wouldn't be seen to be the 'soft' one of the pair of them. She smiled to herself; sometimes reading Sam was just too easy.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

A few days later, Anna put the 'phone down, laughing and went back into the kitchen. "That was Iz," she said to Janet and Cassie, who were preparing dinner. "She's so excited about this wedding, I'd swear it was her getting married."

Cassie smiled at her. "I think it's great she's so into it," she said. "Maybe we can get her to make all the preparations for us?"

"You think you're kidding!" Anna laughed. "She says she's already found a bridesmaid's dress, she's emailing me a photo right now. I do hope you like it?" she looked slightly anxious.

Cassie put down her knife and took Anna in her arms. "If she likes it Annie," she said softly, "that's all that matters. The day is as much for her as it is for us. I've got everything I want already; I have you. If Izzie wants to wear a ballgown, or if she wants to wear jeans, I'm happy."

Janet smiled at the scene unfolding in front of her. She had loved Anna from the first time she saw her, and she loved her more each day as she saw how happy she made their daughter.

"So how's the cookery lesson going Janet?" Anna asked, smiling broadly. Janet had spent the last hour trying to teach Cassie how to cook, and it was slow going.

"Not well," Janet remarked drily. "In fact, if I don't get my diced onions soon, I may have to bring in the big guns!"

"Big guns?" Cassie asked laughing. "Don't tell me, Sam!"

"She's due home in under an hour," Janet reminded her, "and she's had a long day at the mountain. D'you want to tell her there'll be nothing to eat?"

"Be fair Mom," Cassie whined, "if anybody's gonna understand what it's like not to be able to cook, that person's gonna be Sam!"

Janet grinned. "I don't suppose I can argue with that!"

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Sam had just parked the car, and reached over to take Janet's hand. "We don't have to, baby. I'd hate to think you were only doing this to make me happy, because I am happy Jan. Happier than I could ever hope to be. All I need is you, honey."

Janet smiled, looking into her lover's big blue eyes. "Right back at ya, Sam," she said. "You're enough for me; more than enough," her eyes twinkled with devilment. "But I really do want to do this. It might not work, I know that. But let's keep the appointment, hear what they have to say. It's only a consultation at this stage. But if we can, I'd really like to go ahead."

"If you're sure?" Sam still looked worried. "You were real sick, last time, baby. In the other timeline, I mean. You had awful morning sickness."

"A few weeks of nausea is a small price to pay, Sam," Janet took her hand.

"It was more like 11 weeks, Jan. You were real miserable," Sam squeezed her fingers.

"I swear you're trying to deter me!" Janet laughed.

"I'm not," Sam's face was serious. "I'm really not. I just want you to know everything I know. So you've got all the information before you make a decision."

"We're making the decision. Together," Janet reminded her. "And for what it's worth, I can't think of anything better than carrying our baby. Even if I'm sick as a dog," she pulled a face, knowing that this was something she wouldn't relish.

"We go in then, huh?" Sam asked.

Janet nodded, and they got out of the car, holding hands tightly as they entered the clinic.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"So we wait?" Sam asked Janet once they got home from their consultation. "Until you're ovulating?"

"That's right," Janet agreed. "Which, by my calculations, should be in about two weeks. Sam," she took Sam's hand. "We mustn't forget the wedding in all this. If I do manage to get pregnant," even saying the words made her nervous, "I don't want to fly in the first couple of months. And you might be right that I'm gonna feel lousy for a while. We mustn't screw up the wedding plans. We have to be there, baby, I couldn't bear it if Cass got married without us."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, we've got to take that into consideration," she agreed. "The wedding's five months away, right?"

Janet nodded.

"Well, that gives us two goes before," Sam said. "We can try twice. And then if that doesn't work - and we've got to expect it's gonna take at least six months, huh? - then we'll put everything on hold until after the wedding. Does that work for you baby?"

Janet kissed her softly. "That sounds just about perfect," she said.

"And Jan?" Sam added gently.

"Yeah?" Janet asked.

"We give it a year, no more," Sam's tone was firm. "I don't want to put you through endless disappointments. If it doesn't work in a year," she took a deep breath, "then I'll have the tests. And then if that doesn't work, we give up. And just be grateful we've got each other, huh?" Her voice shook with emotion.

Janet saw the unshed tears that had formed in Sam's eyes. "Yeah," she agreed. "Sounds good. As long as I have you, sweetie, I'll always be happy. I swear to you."

"Right back at ya, Jan," Sam said. She reached out and took Janet's hand. "Wanna go upstairs for a while? The girls aren't back until 6pm."

Janet nodded. "Yeah," her voice was quiet. "I do. I really do."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Just under two weeks later, Janet met Cassie in the kitchen early in the morning.

"It's today then?" Cassie asked her mother.

"It is," Janet said, trying to sound confident. "But Cass," she put her hand on her arm. "It's extremely unlikely that it'll work first time around. It took three attempts in the other timeline, and I hadn't lost an ovary and tube then. So it's logical that this time it'll take at least six, probably more. And maybe," she swallowed, "maybe it won't work at all. We can't pin our hopes."

Cassie put her arms round her mother and held her tight. "We'll be thinking of you," she said, her voice cracking with the emotion. "Both of you."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"If you want, Janet, Sam can do this instead of one of us. We'll leave you alone, and you can let us know when you're ready," said Dr Garcia.

"What do you think, Jan?" Sam asked her softly. "Shall we do this together?"

Janet looked up at her. "I think that would be good," her voice was almost inaudible.

Sam looked at the doctor, and nodded. Quickly and efficiently, she talked Sam through the procedure, and then tactfully withdrew.

"You're sure about this baby?" Sam asked. "You still want to go ahead."

"Yes," Janet said. "More than anything. Kiss me first, though, baby."

Sam reached out and caressed Janet's face gently, pulling her toward her to kiss her deeply.

"Okay," Janet said. "Let's do this."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"I think we try and forget about it," Janet put her hand over Sam's as they drove home later that day. "No tests, nothing. For a fortnight at least."

"Okay, Jan," Sam agreed. "But we do the test together, after two weeks, huh?"

Janet nodded her agreement.

So they went about their daily lives for the next week. They tried not to talk about possibilities, about the future. But they were even more affectionate than ever, as if they each wanted to reassure the other that they already had all they needed. Whenever Cassie or Anna came home, they were usually greeted with the sight of Sam and Janet curled up on the couch together, or sitting together on the bench in the garden. If there was no sign of them, they could be fairly sure they were together in the garage, Sam with her head in her motorbike engine, Janet close by watching her every move. And at the mountain, they met as often as they reasonably could.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Hi John," Sam was real pleased to see John Sheppard's face on the screen in the control room. "How are you? How is everybody there?"

Sheppard smiled back. "Everything's great, Sam," he told her. "Though Atlantis isn't the same without you. Rodney's missing you particularly. In fact," he leant in toward the screen and lowered his voice, "he's driving Woolsey crazy, constantly telling him how he doesn't match up to you."

Sam laughed. "Poor Rodney," she said. "I'm sure he hated me being in command too, he's never happy. Though he's happy with Jennifer, huh?"

Sheppard smiled again. "Yeah, they're a great pair. I don't know how she puts up with him, but she does. She loves him. Go figure!"

"So what can we do for you?" Sam came to the point. Much as she liked chatting with him, she knew this was more than a social call.

"We were just wondering if there's any chance you could make it over here for a day?" Sheppard asked. "It's no biggie. It's just we're trying to finalize a treaty with the Cayans, and their president Orax says he doesn't trust Woolsey. He wants to talk to you, he trusts you'll keep your word."

"Woolsey'd keep his too," Sam protested. She'd been keeping a close eye on developments at Atlantis, and even she had to admit that Woolsey had turned out to be less of an ass than she had first thought.

"I know that," Sheppard answered, "and to start with he was real pissed that Orax asked for you. But it's Woolsey that has asked if you would come. The treaty's important, Sam, and he knows that. You'd only have to stay two hours, three tops. How about it?"

Sam laughed. "Yeah, why not?" she said. "I'll talk to General O'Neill, as long as he has no objections I'll leave this afternoon."

"Landry still not back?" Sheppard wanted to know.

"No," Sam said. "I'm not sure if he's gonna be back. Looks like he's gonna need a knee replacement, and last time I saw him he said he just might take the opportunity to retire. He's got plans to spend more time duck hunting, I think!"

Sheppard grinned. "I'll talk to you later then?"

"I'll get back to you within an hour," Sam promised.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"It'll be less than three days, Jan," Sam went to see Janet in the infirmary. "The longest time is the waiting at Midway each way. But I don't have to go baby," she peered anxiously at her lover.

"Of course you must go!" Janet laughed, reaching up for a kiss. "I'll be fine here. There's nothing important going on, and the girls are around. We'll all be fine."

"You could come with me?" Sam suggested.

"No, sweetie," Janet said. "We can't have people thinking we can't even be apart for 72 hours! Anyway," she laughed, "who'd look after Albie?"

Sam grinned. "Oh that's true," she said. "Though we can't really let him loose in the infirmary can we?"

"He'll be fine in my office," Janet said. "And in a couple of weeks, he'll be strong enough to stay at home with Toby."

Since finding Albie, Sam had been bringing him into her lab with her. So far, the pup had been very well behaved, just sitting in his basket, and looking adoringly at Sam. But she knew that as he regained his strength he would, sooner or later, want to get out of the basket and explore. "I'll miss him when he stays at home," Sam admitted. "I know, I know," she held up her hands in mock surrender, "he can't keep coming in with us. It's just that it's been kinda nice having him there."

"He'll miss you too, Sam, especially over the next few days," Janet smiled. "But I'll look after him, I swear."

"I know you will honey," Sam kissed her. "You can keep each other company."

"It won't be the same as having you home," Janet reminded her. "When do you leave?"

"In a couple of hours," Sam said. "I'll take the laptop, so's we can email. And I'll be back Thursday lunchtime."

"Come see me before you leave?" Janet pleaded.

"Of course," Sam said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Well that was easy!" Sam smiled after the principles of the treaty had been agreed. Woolsey had done a surprisingly good job on all the details of the treaty, and Orax had already agreed to the contents of it; he just wanted to conclude the agreement with Sam rather that Woolsey.

"I've seen the way you operate," Orax told Sam. "I know you have integrity. If you'll be the co-signatory of the agreement, then I'm happy to sign."

Sam was pleased to be able to reassure him. She also enjoyed catching up with her old friends at Atlantis, though she found it a bit strange seeing them after so many months. But she was happy to see that things were going well and that Woolsey had turned out to be a reasonable leader after all. She was still uncomfortable in his presence, not least because of the part the IOA had played in her abrupt dismissal from command.

"I still think he's a dweeb," Sheppard confided. "But at least it's not the car crash we were expecting. We miss you Sam. But I don't expect you'd come back even if they asked you now?"

Sam shook her head. "Nope," she said with a smile. "I've got too much going on back on Earth; I've done one big separation, and I promised never again. But thank you for saying that, it's so nice to know you'd be happy to have me back."

"In a hearbeat," Sheppard said. "I don't suppose we can tempt you to stay the night tonight?"

Sam shook her head again. "I want to get back," she admitted shyly. "Got a new dog. And I want to see Janet and the girls. I've got kinda used to spending a lot of time with them, it's weird being away."

"Then you go," Sheppard said. "And thanks for all you've done."

Sam gave him a hug, and then went to seek out the others to say her goodbyes.

"Don't be a stranger," Jennifer Keller told her.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

The 24 hours at Midway seemed to last for ever; Sam couldn't wait to see Janet again. She knew she was rostered to work on the Thursday of her return, though, so was happy she would see her almost immediately, at her post-mission medical.

"No Janet?" Sam asked as Dr Lam led her to one of the cubicles.

"No, she called in sick, she's not feeling so good today," Dr Lam told her. "She says she's okay, just eaten something that disagreed, she thinks." She saw the look of alarm on Sam's face. "Really, Sam, she's okay," she reassured her. "I called her less than an hour ago, and she's already feeling much better. She said she was thinking of coming in, but I told her to take the rest of the day, get some rest. She's fine, Sam," she said firmly.

Sam smiled sheepishly. "Sorry," she said, "I always overreact when it comes to Janet."

"Don't ever apologize for caring," Carolyn Lam smiled.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Hey Carter!" O'Neill greeted Sam as she exited the infirmary. "Ready to debrief?"

"Yes, sir," Sam said. "I just want to make a quick call, d'you mind?"

O'Neill grinned. "I thought you might. Tell her you'll be leaving for home in half an hour. I know she's off sick today, Carter, so we'll make the debriefing short and you can get back to her."

Sam smiled, and put her hand on his arm. "Thank you sir," she said, "I really appreciate it."

O'Neill smiled back. "Least I can do," he said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Sam let herself into the house, trying hard not to make any noise and disturb her lover. So she was surprised to find Janet sitting on the couch, magazine in one hand and coffee in the other.

"Jan," she said tenderly as she saw her.

Janet grinned and jumped to her feet, throwing herself into Sam's arms. "I missed you," she said, though her words were muffled as she was buried in Sam's front.

"Missed you too, baby," Sam pulled back slightly and peered anxiously into Janet's face. She pushed an errant strand of hair behind her ear. "How are you feeling hon?"

Janet smiled. "I'm okay now, just felt really queasy this morning. Didn't think I could cope with the infirmary feeling like that. But I'm feeling much better now, I swear."

Sam looked at her closely, and saw tension and tiredness in her eyes. "Well you sit down and take it easy, I'm gonna look after you."

"Actually, Sam," Janet hesitated.

"What is it honey?" Sam looked anxious.

Janet smiled. "It's nothing bad, baby, I swear," she promised. "And it has only just occurred to me."

"What?" Sam demanded.

"I'm just wondering if... perhaps. I mean, it's early stages. But it's nearly two weeks. It's probably crazy even to think it. It's probably just a bug. But I've been real tired for the last couple of days. Shall we... shall we try a test? Or is that just dumb?" Janet felt awkward.

"Oh my God," Sam gasped. "I hadn't even thought. Have you got any tests?"

"I've always got a few in my bag," Janet said. "What do you think? Shall we?"

"We'll just wonder if we don't," Sam said sensibly. "Also, if there is something wrong with you, we need to know."

"I'm feeling pretty good," Janet insisted. "Okay then, I'll be back in a few minutes." She rifled in her medical bag, and then headed for the bathroom.

Sam sat on the couch, staring sightlessly at the wall. She heard a whimpering sound, and looked down to see Albie at her feet. "Hey boy," she said affectionately, scooping up the small dog. He had grown a fair bit since his arrival, but he was still tiny. "Where's Toby?"

At the sound of his name, Toby appeared round the corner. "Hey, Tobe," Sam said, "come sit by me," and she patted the couch next to her. He leapt up enthusiastically; it was not often he was allowed on the furniture. Sam buried her face in his warm fur. "Just don't tell Janet," she said.

"Don't tell Janet what?" Janet demanded as she re-entered the room.

"You've done it?" Sam asked. "Well? What does it say?"

Janet looked shaky; Sam immediately leapt up and put her arms round her lover. "What is it baby? Are you okay?"

"I couldn't look," Janet clung tight to Sam. "I've left it in there. Will you look baby?"

"How about we look together?" Sam suggested.

"Okay," Janet said in a small voice.

Sam took her by the hand, and led her into the bathroom. The stick sat just by the faucet. Gingerly Sam picked it up and held it in front of them.

"Oh God," Janet said. "Oh my God?"

"Janet?" Sam asked. "Are you alright?"

Janet gave a small smile. "I don't think I've ever been better," she said in a whisper. "Oh God, Sam," she looked up at her, "we're gonna be parents!"

"Yes we are," Sam didn't realize that her face was streaked with tears. "I can't believe it. First time. How is that possible?"

"Want me to draw you a diagram?" Janet asked drily, pulling herself together. "It's really happening, Sam. We're having a baby together."

Sam cupped her face softly between warm hands, and very tenderly kissed her. "I love you, baby," she whispered.

"I love you too Sam," Janet replied. "More than ever. Let's go upstairs, I want to show you just how much I love you."

"Are you sure, honey?" Sam asked. "I mean, you haven't been feeling good."

"And if you're right, Sam, I'm gonna be feeling awful for months," Janet grimaced. "And this may be the last time for quite some time that I want to make love to you. So let's make the most of it, huh?"

Sam took her hand and led her toward the stairs.


	45. Chapter 45 ADJUSTING

Anna re-entered the living room, 'phone in hand. She smiled. "That was Iz," she told Cassie. "She's so excited. Apparently they've signed. The house is theirs! Or it will be in about five weeks' time. They're moving out here. Permanently!"

Cassie grinned. "That's great, Annie," she said. "I'm so happy they're moving here. I love having you here, all the time, but I was worried that you'd start to miss your family."

"Well you don't have to worry about that any more," Anna said, taking her in her arms. "For what it's worth, however much I missed them, I'd still have stayed here. I don't think I could bear to be away from you. But now," she smiled widely, "I've got the best of both worlds!"

"So have they got a date?" Cassie wanted to know.

"They're moving in 23rd June," Anna told her. "Oh shit," she suddenly realized, and grinned.

"What?" Cassie asked. "What's wrong?"

"It's not important," Anna told her. "It's no big deal. S'just that almost as soon as they get here, they'll be flying back to London, for the wedding."

"Of course!" Cassie said. "Well, they could always move in later maybe?"

"I don't think that's gonna happen," Anna couldn't keep the smile off her face. "You should have heard Iz, she's so excited. She can't understand why they can't come out now, if all the papers have been signed. She's not going to wait one more minute than she needs to."

"She's okay then?" Cassie asked. "She's just finished at her job, hasn't she? How did that go for her?"

Anna looked uncharacteristically downcast. "She says she's okay, but Mum told me it was really hard on her. She loved all the residents, and she hated to think of them being split up and moved to other homes. But Mum has taken her round to visit her favorites, and they've all settled really well. So she's okay about it. But it was tough for her."

"She's so sweet to care," Cassie said. "She's got a real soft heart, hasn't she?"

Anna nodded. "She definitely has. I'm so happy she's going to be nearby. Just an hour away, that's fantastic."

"And we'll visit all the time," Cassie promised. "If they'll have us!"

"Izzie's already chosen 'our' room," Anna smiled. "So looks like we'll have to go often."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Eleven weeks of this, you say?" Janet's voice sounded weak and miserable, as Sam held her as she hung over the toilet. "And then it stops?"

Sam pressed a damp washcloth to her forehead. "I don't know, baby," she said in a soft voice. "In the other timeline, it was eleven weeks. Well, ten weeks and four days to be exact," she amended. "But not everything's exactly the same this time, is it Jan? I hope it won't be too much longer, sweetie, I really do."

Janet sat back on her heels. "Me too," she said, exhausted. "This is getting real old real fast. Still," she attempted a smile. "Just five weeks to go. I hope."

"Maybe less?" Sam tenderly brushed a lock of hair from Janet's face. "I hope less." She looked anguished at what Janet was suffering.

Janet took her hand. "I'm okay, honey," she reassured her. "Really I am. Most of the time, I feel fine. It's just at..." she looked at her watch, "quarter to four in the morning when I'm not at my best. I'm so sorry, Sam, I hate putting you through this."

"You're not putting me through anything, Jan," Sam kissed her gently on the top of her head. "I just wish I could do something to make you feel better."

"Just having you there makes me feel better," Janet told her. "Though God knows, I'll be surprised if you ever want to go near me again. I'm hardly at my most glamorous right now."

"You're beautiful," Sam said softly. "You always are. C'mon, let's get you back to bed. You're exhausted baby."

Janet nodded. "Okay," her voice was strained. "Love you."

"Love you too, hon," Sam said. "Always."

Sam settled Janet back into the bed, and climbed in next to her, pulling her gently into her arms. "Sleep now," she said tenderly.

In truth, Sam was beginning to worry about her lover. She had hoped that Janet wouldn't suffer as badly with morning sickness as she had in the other timeline. She was very disappointed to realize that, if anything, Janet was even worse this time around. She was eight weeks into the pregnancy, and wasn't gaining weight; if anything she was losing it. She was also getting depressed, though she tried her hardest to cover that up. Sam resolved to do what she could to help her.

At just before 7am, Sam slid out from underneath Janet. She shrugged on her robe, and headed downstairs. When Cassie and Anna stumbled downstairs ten minutes later, she was just finishing her telephone call. "Thank you Sir," she was saying. "I will Sir. We'll see you on Monday. Thank you again." She hung up the telephone.

Cassie went up to her. "Are you okay, Sam?" she assumed from Sam's words meant that she would not be going back to work until Monday, and it was only Thursday. "Is Mom alright?"

"I'm okay, Cass," Sam tried to sound reassuring. "Your Mom, too. Or she will be. She had another bad night, Cassie," she told her. "She has to get some rest. I just called the general, asked him to give Janet the day off. He was great, he told me he doesn't want to see either of us until next week. And he's insisting that until your Mom feels better, she's only going to do half days. Me too, says Janet needs me. He's a good man, Cass," Sam was furious to realize that her eyes were filling with tears. She hadn't realized how relieved she would be at the chance to take some of the pressure off Janet.

"Yeah, he is," Cassie agreed. "That's real understanding of him."

"He told me Sarah suffered badly with Charlie. His son," Sam reminded Cassie. "He knows what it's like. Says he wants to do all he can to help. Janet'll be pissed though," she realized. "She'll hate that I went behind her back to talk to him. But she needs help, Cass," Sam tried to keep her voice steady. "She can't go on like this."

"What does her doctor say?" Cassie asked.

"There's not a lot that can be done, apparently," Sam said. "Though Frankie Michaels is coming over later, see if there's anything at all that'll help. Janet'll be pissed at that too," she grimaced. "She's gonna give me hell."

"She may not," Cassie said gently, "she'll know why you did it."

"Yeah, maybe," Sam was not convinced. "You two have a good day, huh?" she waved at Anna who had just entered the living room clutching her coffee, "we'll see you later."

"You too, Sam," Cassie said. "Tell Mom we love her."

"I will," Sam said, heading for the stairs.

Janet was still sleeping when Sam slid back into the bed, awaking briefly as she felt her lover return. Janet sat up slightly, peering blearily at the clock. "Is it time to get up?" she asked, her voice rough with sleep.

"No, hon," Sam kissed her softly. "We're not going in today. Go back to sleep, I'll explain later."

"You called him, didn't you?" to Sam's relief there was humor in Janet's voice.

"Yeah," she said. "Janet, I know you're pissed, but..."

Janet reached out and grasped Sam's hand. "It's okay, baby," she said. "I'm glad you did. I'm exhausted. Tell me what he said later, huh?" she failed to stifle a yawn.

"Sleep, Jan," Sam said softly. "It's all gonna be okay."

Janet was already asleep.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Well, you're thinner than you should be, Janet," Dr Michaels' words were no surprise to either Sam or Janet. "But you already know that. Look, why don't you try eating your main meal at midday? Then have maybe just soup in the evening. And I want you to start drinking one or two protein shakes, one in the morning, and one in the evening, before your meal. As you know, the shakes are absorbed quickly. Once you manage to get a bit more nourishment in you, you'll start to feel better, I'm sure."

"Thanks, Frankie," Sam said. "Is there anything else we can do?"

"Nothing you're not already doing," she said. "Get more rest, but the shorter days'll help with that. Ginger to settle the stomach. I want to see you again in three days, see how things are going, okay?"

"Yes, doctor," Janet said drily, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She laughed. "Sorry, doctors really are the worst patients. You've been a great help, Frankie, truly. I hadn't thought of eating at lunch, that might make all the difference."

"Call me if you need me, huh?" Francine Michaels said. "Any time. I mean that."

Sam hugged her warmly. "Thanks," she said, "we really appreciate your visit."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"I brought soup!" Vala announced, her voice laden with humor. She arrived, unannounced, at Sam and Janet's house, late that Saturday morning.

"Soup?" Sam grinned. "I didn't know you could cook!" and she looked at the large box in Vala's arms, that was full of plastic boxes all containing soup.

"There are many things you don't know about me, Samantha," Vala grinned wickedly. "One of those is that I'm one hell of a cook. And when Jack told Daniel that Janet was supposed to eat lightly in the evenings, 'ideally soup', I got to work." She handed over the box to Sam. "Here, you carry this," she winked, "I'm pregnant, remember," and she proudly exhibited her no-longer-flat stomach, deliberately pushing it out as far as possible.

"Oh my God," Sam gasped, "you're really showing now! Come into the kitchen and have some tea, Janet's having a nap in the living room, she'll be awake soon I'm sure."

"How is she?" Vala looked at Sam penetratingly, noticing the slightly tense look on her face.

"She's okay," Sam said. "But it's hard on her. It's getting her down now, I can tell. I just wish it would stop, and that she could start enjoying the pregnancy. Like you clearly are!" she smiled.

"I'm loving every minute of it now," Vala smiled shyly. "It was tough to start with. I was feeling awful, and I couldn't get Adria out of my mind. But I'm feeling good now, and Daniel has been amazing. You'd think he was the first man to have ever fathered a child!"

"That's so great," Sam said softly, "can I?" and she reached out to touch Vala's belly.

"Of course you can," Vala smiled, taking Sam's hand and pressing it to her. "I hope it's a boy, for Daniel's sake. Though I don't really mind."

Sam laughed. "That's funny, Daniel said he wants a girl, and he wants her to be just like you. He really loves you Vala."

"Yeah, he does, doesn't he?" Vala's face filled with wonder. Her voice cracked slightly. "I never thought I could be this happy. And you and Janet will be, just as soon as she starts to feel better."

"Oh I'm real happy already," Sam said with feeling. "We always knew this part would be difficult. At least Janet's healthy, and she'll be feeling good soon. I just wish it didn't get her down so much."

"Want me to talk to her?" Vala asked. "I can tell her how great she'll feel soon."

"Would you?" Sam asked. "I just want to do everything I can to help, but sometimes I think I'm starting to irritate Janet."

"Of course I will," Vala agreed. "And I'm sure that's not the case. Janet loves you. She told me how amazing you're being with her. You don't have to worry." She wrinkled her nose at the mug Sam placed in front of her. "No coffee?" she whined.

"No," Sam said firmly. "Coffee's not good for you, you should know that. Fruit tea. You'll get used to it."

"No she won't," Janet's voice came from the doorway. She smiled at Vala. "It's no substitute for coffee, whatever you say, Sam." She went over to Vala, and hugged her warmly. "Hey, Vala," she smiled. "What brings you by?"

"Soup!" Sam said. "Vala's been cooking!"

"My, you are a dark horse," Janet said. "Thank you so much. You're looking great Vala," she told her.

"I feel great, too," Vala agreed.

"I'm gonna take the dogs out," Sam said, wanting to give Vala and Janet some time together. "I'll be back in half an hour. Will you still be here when I get back, Vala?"

"Yes she will," Janet said firmly. "You'll stay for lunch, won't you Vala? Don't worry, Sam's not cooking!"

"In that case, definitely yes," Vala said.

"You take care, honey?" Sam pulled Janet into her arms, and kissed her softly. "Need anything while I'm out?"

"Tomatoes and onions," Janet said, "if you're going near the store."

"We'll make a point of it, won't we Toby?" Sam smiled at the larger of the dogs. She rattled both leashes and, as she expected, Albie bounded in from the living room.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Sam wants you to talk to me, doesn't she?" Janet came straight to the point.

Vala grinned. "Yes," she admitted. She took Janet's hand. "She's just worried about you Janet. She thinks you're depressed."

"I'm okay," Janet reassured her. "Really I am. The nausea has been a little better the last few days. I just hate that I'm relying so much on Sam. She's too sweet to say anything, but she must hate me being like this."

"She wants to help you all she can, Janet," Vala reminded her. "You're in this together, remember?"

Janet shook her head. "It's not fair on her, though. She's having to take time away from the mountain, just because she doesn't want me to have to cope on my own. She loves her work, I hate to think of what she's missing out on. And she's getting nothing back from me. I mean," she blushed furiously at this, "I haven't wanted to make love for weeks. She says it doesn't matter, but I know it does. Sam has always had very... healthy... appetites."

Vala looked her straight in the eye. "Listen to me, Janet Fraiser," she said in a firm voice. "That's bullshit, and you know it. Sam loves you. You love Sam. Don't tell me you think your love isn't strong enough to last a few weeks without sex?"

Janet looked miserable. "We've never gone this long before," she whispered. "And the way I'm feeling, God only knows when I'll want to again."

"I hope you don't think you're any different to any other couple expecting a baby," Vala said. "Poor Daniel, I wouldn't let him anywhere near me for the first few weeks. I was also incredibly irritable, he couldn't do right for doing wrong. But he coped, and he didn't put any pressure on me. And I'm here to tell you," she winked, "that your... appetite... will return. And if it's anything like mine, it'll return with a vengeance! Poor Daniel doesn't know what's hit him in the last few weeks. He's exhausted. I'll bet he's home right now, asleep. He needs to catch up where he can. God knows I'm not letting him sleep much at night!"

Janet laughed out loud. "So I'm overreacting, huh?"

Vala nodded. She hugged her friend warmly. "It's understandable Janet, your hormones are all out of whack, you know that better than anyone. Share your fears with Sam, you'll both feel much better."

"Okay," Janet said in a soft voice. "I will. I swear."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Vala told me I was being crazy," Janet admitted to Sam later that evening. "She said that she was sure you wanted to be with me, rather than at work."

Sam took her in her arms. "Of course I want to be with you. And I only mean _with_ you. No more than that. Not until you are ready. Even if you're never ready, there's nowhere I'd rather be than at your side. I don't need sex, Janet," she knew what Janet was thinking. "But I do need to be by your side. I want to hold you. I want to feel you in my arms at night. I want you to sleep in my embrace. That's more important than anything."

"I love you, Sam," Janet whispered as she snuggled up to her. "Hold me tight, please, baby. Never let me go."

"I never will, Jan," Sam promised. "Never."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"It's a beautiful house, Izzie," Cassie held her nearly-sister-in-law's hand as, four weeks later, she showed her excitedly over their new house. It was just over an hour north of Sam and Janet's house, and was on the shore of a secluded lake. "I don't think it could be better. C'mon on, show me, which is your room?"

"This one," Izzie said with a wide smile, "over here." And she dragged her across the corridor into a large, airy room with huge double windows that opened up onto a secluded deck by the lake side. "It's next to Mum's office. She's got a deck too, she's planning to sit on it while she writes her books."

"Well it's certainly peaceful," Cassie said. "Annie!" she called, "c'm'here, don't you think Izzie's room is amazing?"

"It's wonderful," Anna said, smiling. "I think you're all going to be really happy here. And we're going to visit, all the time. Oh Izzie," she swept her sister up in a tight hug. "I can't believe you're all really here. It's so exciting."

That night, Anna's father Roy took them all out for a celebratory meal, steadfastly refusing to let Cassie or Anna pay.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"It must be amazing," Cassie said later that night, relaxing in Anna's arms in their bedroom back at Sam and Janet's house. "Living somewhere like that. All that space."

"Yeah," Anna said. "They're going to love it. Dad's going to take up fishing seriously, I can tell."

"He'll have to get Uncle Jack over," Cassie suggested. "Though if there actually are any fish in that lake, I think he might die of fright!"

Anna laughed, and kissed her deeply.

"Annie?" Cassie asked.

"Yes, sweetheart?" Anna asked. "What is it?"

"Do you ever wish we had our own place?" Cassie was scared to ask the question. She knew there was no way, financially, that they would ever be able to afford anywhere, not while she was still studying.

Anna looked deep into her eyes. "Honestly?" she replied. "Sometimes, sure. But I love living with Sam and Janet. I love them Cass, I really do. They've been so kind to me. And they're sweet, and funny. And they give us lots of space, and time to ourselves. They're incredibly considerate. One day, Cassie, when we're both working. Then we'll get our own apartment. And I'll bet even then we'll spend half our time over at Sam and Janet's, or Mum and Dad's. I'm happy, sweetheart, really I am. We're very lucky. And in six weeks' time, you're going to be my wife. I'm happier than I have any right to be," she brushed away a tear. "You've made my life complete."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet sat up, breathing carefully. She looked over at the clock; 5am.

"Jan?" Sam was immediately awake. "Later than usual, huh?" she asked ruefully. "Bathroom?"

Janet looked at her. "No," her voice was tentative. "I think I'm okay Sam. I feel a little queasy, but it's not bad. I think it's going to be okay tonight."

Sam put an arm round her shoulders and pulled her gently to her. "That's great, baby. Maybe it's a breakthrough?"

Janet looked at her, hope in her eyes. "Maybe," she didn't sound convinced.

"Think you can sleep again?" Sam asked tenderly.

"I think maybe," Janet said. "Will you hold me?"

So Sam wrapped her long arms round her, and they snuggled together.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"You're looking great, Mom," Cassie said to her mother at breakfast the next Saturday.

Janet grinned. "I'm feeling great," she said. "Finally!" her tone was rueful. "I haven't thrown up for four days now. I think," she knocked on the table, "knock on wood, I think the worst is over."

"That's great!" Cassie kissed her warmly on the cheek. "I'll bet you're relieved. I'll bet Sam is too," she said.

"Sam's been wonderful," Janet said affectionately. "She's not a natural nursemaid, but she's been with me every step of the way. I love her so much," she said.

"And I love you too," Sam said as she came into the kitchen, catching the tail end of the conversation. She kissed her softly.

"Hey Cass," she said. "I thought you and Anna were spending the weekend with Izzie by the lake?"

"We are," Cassie said. "We're leaving in half an hour. Annie's parents have had to go back to England, just to sign some papers. They're real pissed about it. They're gonna be even more pissed, flying there and back in just three days. That's if they can catch a flight back."

"You should tell them not to worry about that," Janet pointed out. "If they don't get back, Izzie can always come stay with us. I know she won't want to leave that beautiful house, but it would only be for a few days."

"Thanks Mom," Cassie replied. "That's a great idea. I'll tell Annie to 'phone them, see if they don't want to stay a bit longer. All that flying's not much fun."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Have a good time!" Janet stood at the door, waving as Cassie and Anna drove off.

Ten minutes later, Sam returned, with both dogs straining at their leashes and both, Janet was amused to see, covered in mud.

"Sorry baby," Sam didn't sound penitent in the slightest. "I just couldn't stop them!"

Janet mock-scowled. "You mean they unclipped their own leashes?" she demanded, but Sam could see the twinkle of amusement in her eye.

"They're real smart dogs, Jan," Sam winked, as she got out the hosepipe to clean them off.

"They take after you then, honey," Janet's tone was playful. "So would you say they're worn out?"

"Oh God yes," Sam laughed. "They'll sleep for hours."

"That's good," Janet's voice became sultry. "I don't want any disturbances."

"Jan?" Sam's heart skipped a beat.

"Meet me upstairs," Janet winked. "Once you're done."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Well," Janet was slightly breathless as she spoke, several hours later, still wrapped tight in Sam's arms. "One thing I'll say for Vala. When she's right, she's right!"

"So it seems," Sam agreed with a smile. "And you were worth waiting for baby. That," she looked bashful, "that was incredible."

"You're the one that is incredible, hon," Janet said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"It's less than two weeks until the wedding," Sam said. "Can you believe it?" she ran her hand over Janet's distended belly. "And Baby Fraiser's really showing now!"

Janet took Sam's hand. "Baby Carter," she said in a quiet voice. "I want this baby to have your name. Is that okay, baby?"

Sam was choked with emotion. "Of course that's okay," she said after a minute. "That's more than okay."

"So we tell them about the wedding present tonight, after dinner?" Janet's eyes sparkled with excitement.

"Yeah, I guess so," Sam said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Come sit," Janet commanded Cassie and Anna, patting the couch next to her. "Sam and I have something for you."

Cassie and Anna did as they were told, unable to guess at the reason for Janet's command.

"You give it to them," Sam said, looking shy.

"It's from both of us," Janet said, as she felt in her pocket for the small gift-wrapped box. "With all our love to both of you." She handed over the box.

"You open it Cass," Anna said quietly.

With slightly shaking hands, Cassie unwrapped the box, and opened it. Nestled inside was a key. A door key. She looked up at Janet. "I don't understand?" she said to Janet.

"Sam'll explain," Janet said cryptically.

"You remember when we found you on Hanka, Cass?" Sam asked.

Cassie nodded. She would never forget that day.

"Well Janet and I weren't together then. Not properly, that is," she said.

"Not even slightly," Janet interjected, her voice thick with humor. "Because you were a wuss, remember?"

Sam grinned. "That's totally true," she agreed. "For months I'd been watching this hot doctor in the infirmary. But I never had the courage to ask her out. Not until you came into our lives, Cass. You were just the excuse I needed to spend more time with Janet. And then it just... happened."

Janet smiled. "And thank God it did!" she declared.

"Anyways," Sam said. "Back then, I had my own apartment. You remember it, right? You came to stay with me a couple of times."

"Yeah," Cassie said, remembering back. "I really liked it. It was very... _you_. I was sorry when you sold it."

"I didn't sell it," Sam told her. "Janet and I talked about it then. We decided to keep it on. It was paid off years ago, so we just rented it out."

"Why did you keep it?" Cassie wanted to know.

"Because we knew one day you'd need a place of your own. We want to give it to you, Cassie. No," she put her hands in the air as both Cassie and Anna started to protest. "We won't argue. It's there, it's yours. And there's a good sum in the bank, what we made on the rent, to cover bills etc., it should be plenty until you've finished your studies. Then it's over to you, kiddo. Kiddos," she amended, winking broadly at Anna.

Cassie was dumbfounded. "We can't take this," Anna said. "It's too much."

"Too late," Sam took an envelope out of her purse. "It's in your names. Jointly. Don't misunderstand," she pleaded, "we love having you here, we really do. You can stay here for ever if you want. You can rent the place out. But we thought perhaps you'd like to start your married life in your own place."

Cassie flung herself into Sam's arms, weeping tears of joy. "Oh Sam, that's amazing," she said, and then turned to embrace her mother. "Mom, I can't believe it."

Soon all four women were hugging and weeping.

"We'll really miss you," Anna said, through her tears.

"It's only three clicks from here," Janet told her. "You won't have far to come. And you'll always have a room here."

"So?" Sam said. "I'm taking a ride over to Cassie and Anna's new home. Who's gonna come?"

They all clamored to get in the car. Just as they were about to drive off, Cassie got out of the car. "Wait," she said, returning moments later with Toby and Albie. "Well," she grinned, "this is something the whole family has to see!"


	46. Chapter 46 SERENITY

"I can't tell you how much we appreciate what you've done for the girls," Roy, Anna's father said to Sam the next weekend. The whole family had been invited to spend the night at the Ross's new house, on their way up to pick up Kathryn. "I mean, giving them the apartment. They're overwhelmed. It's a wonderful thing for you to do."

Sam smiled at him warmly. "It's something we always planned to do for Cass," she told him. "Right back when I first moved in with Janet, and Cassie, Janet and I talked about it. We decided to keep the apartment on and rent it out. Just wanted to make her life a little easier for her when she grew up. She had a ... difficult ... start. Before we adopted her. We kinda reckoned that she deserved a break. And we couldn't be happier about her meeting Annie. She's great," Sam's eyes crinkled with affection. "She's made Cassie so happy."

"I think that's mutual," Roy smiled back. "Annie's life has really turned around. Don't get me wrong, she'd already got Tina out of her system, got her life back. But she hadn't met anybody since, and Carolyn and I were starting to worry that she had lost confidence. Then Cassandra came along. And the rest, as they say, is history!" He grinned. "Anyway, follow me. Caro won't even let me talk about the Cadillac, you're the only one who'll understand my 'little obsession' as she calls it."

Sam followed Roy enthusiastically to the big garage in the new house.

"Since Caro's going to be spending so much of her time writing, and I've just retired, I decided it was time to get me a hobby," Roy explained as they descended the stairs. "I've always loved cars. And when I saw a 1950s Cadillac for sale, I just couldn't resist." He lifted the cover to the car.

"Wow!" Sam gasped. "It's beautiful."

"It is, isn't it?" Roy couldn't keep the smile off his face. "It needs work. A lot of work. But that just made it more attractive to me. I can spend my days down here, while Caro sits at her computer. When I'm not fishing, that is," he winked. "You know, I think I'm going to enjoy my retirement!"

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"You're not even going to let me peek?" Cassie whined. "Just to see the color? Or the fabric?"

"No!" Anna was firm, as she carried her shrouded wedding dress into her parents' bedroom. "Mum's going to put it in her suitcase for me, so's you won't be tempted to look in the closet. The first time you see it, sweetheart," she leant over and kissed her fiancee softly on the lips, "is on the morning of our wedding, as we step into the cabin on the London Eye. Then you can look at it all you want."

Cassie's mouth went dry. "I know I'm not going to be able to keep my eyes off you," she said quietly. She laughed. "God knows how I'm gonna keep my hands off you!"

"Ditto," Anna smiled. "Your dress is already in Sam and Janet's closet, right?"

Cassie grinned. "Need to know," she said secretively, "and you, Miss Ross, do not need to know. Anyway, who says I'm wearing a dress? I might just turn up in my jeans and a torn t-shirt."

"You can wear what you want, Cass," Anna's voice was serious, as she reached out to cup her cheek. "You could wear one of Sam's old uniforms for all I care. As long as you're there, saying 'yes' at the right moment, that's all I ask."

"Wild horses," Cassie was surprised to realize that her voice was breaking.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Five bedrooms?" Janet couldn't believe how much room Anna's family had in their new house.

"Three of them with an outside deck, too," Izzie told her with a huge grin on her face. "Mine, Mum and Dad's, and Anna and Cassie's. But you and Sam have to sleep in my room tonight," she said. "I want you to know what it's like, waking up right by the water."

"Oh no," Janet demurred, "we couldn't take your room. We'll be very happy in another room."

"I don't care," Izzie said stubbornly. "You're in my room. Anyway," she grinned, "I tidied it specially. You have to sleep in it now."

"She's not kidding," Carolyn laughed, "it's only because you're such important guests that she started cleaning. She'll be very disappointed if you say no."

"Well in that case," Janet put her arm round the young girl's shoulders, "we'll be very happy to sleep in your room. That's real kind of you. Thank you."

"Sleep with the curtains open," Izzie advised. "Then you'll see the moonlight, as well as the sunrise. It's beautiful."

"Sam'll love it," Janet said. "And so will I. Thank you Izzie."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

An hour later, Janet and Carolyn were sitting drinking tea on the top deck, enjoying the sunshine.

"What about you and Sam?" Carolyn asked. "With all these preparations for the wedding, have you never thought of marrying yourselves?"

Janet smiled. "Oh God yes," she replied. "There's nothing we'd like more. Sam especially. She feels she needs to show her commitment to me in some official way. But we can't, not in our jobs. The military would never stand for it. They're all great at the base where we are. Sam and I have refused to hide our relationship in any way, and everybody's been so supportive. Everybody that matters, that is," she winced slightly. "Of course there are some bigots, that's only to be expected. But most everybody at the mountain just accepts us for who we are, nobody bats an eyelid. We will marry one day, of that I'm sure, even if we have to wait until we retire."

"Will Anna and Cassie's wedding be awkward for you at work?" Carolyn looked concerned.

"Not at all," Janet insisted. "They all love Cassie at the mountain. Hell, General O'Neill is the CO, and he and Daniel and Murray have been like uncles to Cassie since we adopted her. They're all coming to the wedding. No, quite honestly, nobody there gives a rat's ass, as long as everybody is happy. And anyway, they know that if they caused problems, Sam would resign. And they'd be lost without Sam."

"Without you too, from what I hear," Carolyn interjected quietly.

"Not as much," Janet said. "I love my job, and I reckon I'm pretty good at it. But I'm nowhere near as important there as Sam is."

"Like hell you're not," Sam's voice rang out from behind her as she came out on to the deck. "Don't listen to her, Carolyn," she said firmly, "Janet's the best doctor in the whole of the military. She's saved us all, countless times. And," her eyes twinkled, "she also happens to be the most beautiful medic who's ever put on a uniform."

She leaned over and kissed Janet on the cheek. "Or taken one off," she whispered into Janet's ear, not loud enough for Carolyn to hear, and settled herself into a chair between Janet and Carolyn.

"So has Roy been boring you with his new toy?" Carolyn smiled, and reached out to pour a cup of tea for Sam.

"Oh it's not at all boring," Sam smiled. "I could have stayed down there tinkering with it all day."

"She's not kidding," Janet agreed. "You should see her beautiful 1960s Volvo. You restored it entirely, didn't you hon?"

Sam nodded. "That was before we got together," she said, "and before Cassie came on the scene. It was something for me to do in my spare time, not that I've ever had too much of that. I don't think I'd ever be able to make time for such a major project again. My life is so full now. And we're gonna have even less time soon, aren't we baby?" and she reached over and ran her hand over Janet's growing belly.

"You'll love having a baby in the house," Carolyn smiled. "I still remember every day of Anna's and Izzie's first few months. It's a very special time."

"Was it not harder with Izzie?" Sam asked, "if you don't mind me asking, that is?"

Carolyn smiled. "I don't mind at all. Yes, to start with it was a shock. They took her away from me the minute she was born, to do a battery of tests. I thought something terrible had happened. Roy and I had no idea what was happening. But then," she smiled fondly, "then they brought her back and gave her to me, to us. She was so beautiful. Right from the first day, she was beautiful. And such a sweet nature. And she was never any trouble. The worst part," her face clouded over, "was dealing with interfering busybodies. And some stupid doctors, made us spend a lot of her childhood taking her to and from hospitals, test after test. In the end, Roy put his foot down. We took her home and decided to do our own thing. And I'd say she's doing okay, wouldn't you?"

Janet reached over and took her hand. "She's amazing," she told her. "You've got two wonderful daughters."

Sam nodded her agreement. "They're both beautiful, Carolyn. Inside and out."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Izzie was right," Janet reached over to Sam in bed that night and pulled her arm around her, snuggling into her side. "We'll leave the curtains open all night, huh?"

"Yeah," Sam breathed, watching the moonlight ripple over the water outside. "It's so beautiful here, and so peaceful. She says the dawn is incredible too. What a great place to live."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet awoke at 3am, and realized that the bed was empty next to her. She sat up blearily, and through the glass door, saw Sam sitting on the seat on the deck, her legs drawn up to her chest with her arms tightly wrapped round them. At first she was alarmed, worried that something was wrong with Sam. As she approached the doorway though, she saw the expression on Sam's face; it was serene and more peaceful than she had seen in a long time. "Hey," she said quietly, anxious not to startle her lover.

Sam turned round and caught sight of her. "Hey," she replied softly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't," Janet sat beside Sam, who immediately put her arm round her shoulders and pulled her gently to her. "I only just woke. Are you okay hon?"

"I'm great," Sam ran her hand very lightly down Janet's cheek, and leaned in to kiss her. "I just couldn't resist coming out here. I woke about half an hour ago. Everything's so peaceful. So beautiful. You could almost believe that the whole world is at peace."

"Yeah," Janet agreed. "One day. Maybe."

Sam shook her head sadly. "I wish that were true. But I can't ever see it happening. God, Jan," her voice shook slightly. "Can you imagine how amazing that would be? No more need for defense forces. I could get a _real_ job. We could get married."

"We _are_ married, Sam," Janet kissed her. "In every way that matters. We've got a beautiful daughter. And very nearly a daughter-in-law, just one more week to go. And we're having a baby. Together."

"Yeah," Sam smiled. "We're real lucky, Jan, aren't we?" she put her feet on the ground and pulled Janet into her lap.

Janet snuggled into the warm embrace, and took Sam's hand, placing it over her belly. "I wonder what she's gonna be like?" she mused.

"What makes you so sure it's gonna be a girl?" Sam smiled.

"I don't know," Janet replied. "I just think it will."

"Well I've got a feeling we're having a boy," Sam very gently rubbed Janet's belly. "I don't care either way, though. What about you sweetie?"

"Couldn't care less," Janet said. "You. Me. Cassie. Annie. Our baby. I don't need anything else."

"What about choosing wallpaper for the nursery?" Sam's eyes were full of laughter.

"We'll buy blue _and_ pink," Janet joked, "and you can hang the wallpaper the day the baby is born!"

"Whatever you want, Jan," Sam said. "You just tell me what you want, and when, and I'll do it."

"You know, Sam, I believe you would too," Janet said, "you'd really go straight from the hospital to hang wallpaper."

"If that was what you wanted," Sam said, her voice serious. "Then of course I would. I'd do anything for you, Jan. Anything at all."

Janet squeezed Sam's fingers. "I really think you would too," she said in a sleepy voice, burrowing deeper into Sam's front.

Sam tightened her grip on her lover, running her hand gently and rhythmically through her hair. "Sleep, baby," she whispered.

Within minutes, Janet was asleep. Once Sam was sure she was fully out, she very carefully picked her up and carried her, nestled to her chest, back into the room, placing her tenderly in the bed. She climbed in beside her, and pulled her into her arms so that they were tightly entwined. "I love you," she whispered to Janet. "So much."


	47. Chapter 47 GLITCHES

As they neared the town in Montana where Kathryn lived, Janet reached out and touched Sam's arm. "Sam?" she asked. "You just missed the turning to the motel." They always stayed at the same motel when they went to collect Kathryn. It was convenient and clean, and they had gotten to know the owners.

Sam turned and smiled at her. "We're not staying there tonight, Jan," she said softly. "I thought it was time we treated ourselves. I found a nice hotel on the net. We're having a bit of luxury for once. I thought maybe, with all this romance flying about, we could have ourselves one romantic night before everything goes crazy. And the reviews say the restaurant's great too. We'll be there in just a few minutes."

Janet smiled. "What a wonderful idea," she said. "I can't think of anything nicer. For the first time, I'm glad the girls aren't with us."

"Well they had to go back and finish packing," Sam said. "I think it's very romantic they're leaving a few days early, don't you?"

Janet nodded her agreement. "Well it makes sense. They met in London, so they'll want to spend some time in their old stomping grounds before the circus begins!"

Sam smiled.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"It's a great room, Sam," Janet said, drawing her into a deep kiss. "And the bed's huge," her eyes twinkled.

Sam grinned. "Not yet," she admonished. "We've gotta get ready for dinner now, I've booked us in for 8pm, we've only got half an hour."

"Shit!" Janet remembered. "I didn't bring anything to wear. I didn't realize we'd have to dress up. Oh Sam, I'm so sorry."

Sam smiled again. "I know you didn't pack anything sweetie, after all, you didn't know we'd be staying here. Maybe this," she pulled a bag out of her suitcase, "will work?"

Janet reached out, noticing the name of the very expensive store on the side of the bag. "Did you go shopping, hon?" she smiled, she knew how much Sam hated to shop.

"I did," Sam's smile was shy, "I knew you'd be pissed if you didn't have the right clothes. D'you like it baby?" she asked, as Janet withdrew the deep red dress from its packaging.

"Oh my God," Janet gasped. "It's beautiful. Sam, you're amazing!" she flung her arms round her lover. "Kiss me," she demanded. So Sam complied.

Janet looked again at the dress. "I'm not sure I've got the right bra for this," she realized. "This may be too low-cut for this thing," and she pulled ruefully at the strap of the rather utilitarian bra she was wearing.

"I thought of that too," Sam grinned, and passed her a second bag from Victoria's Secret. "Matching set," she winked, enjoying the look on Janet's face as she eyed the delicate lingerie.

"My God, Sam, you've outdone yourself," Janet's voice was husky. "Are you sure we've only got a half hour?"

"Totally," Sam said firmly. "We'll eat fast, huh?"

Janet nodded. "I think that'd be good," she agreed.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet reached over the table to take Sam's hand. "So what made you think of staying here baby?" she asked in a soft voice.

Sam smiled. "Nothin' in particular," she said. "I just wanted to spend some time with you, alone. Somewhere nice. Somewhere candlelit. We're going to be so busy in the next few weeks... and months," she looked down at Janet's belly, "I thought it'd be good just to draw breath. And I wanted to show you how much I love you."

"That's something I've never doubted," Janet said. "Never for one second. Sometimes I want to pinch myself. Nobody deserves to be this happy."

"You do, Jan," Sam kissed her gently. "You deserve the very best the world has to offer."

"Well that's exactly what I've got in you, Sam," Janet's voice broke. She swallowed. "Do you ever think about what would have happened if we had never met? Sometimes I think about that, and it scares me to death."

Sam shook her head. "No, I don't. Somehow I believe that, whatever reality we are in, we'll still be together. Okay, there was that one reality when I was with Jack. I prefer to view that as an anomaly," she grinned. "And I still think I would have 'seen the light' and been with you sooner or later. I'm so lucky Jan. I have a great job, wonderful friends. But most of all I have you, and Cass. And Anna. And Junior," she reached across to caress Janet's bump.

"Ugh," Janet laughed. "Don't call her Junior. That makes me think of Teal'c and the symbiote he used to carry!"

Sam smiled. "Good point," she said. "What shall we call him then?"

"Her," Janet said firmly. "How about we name her after that gun you had?"

Sam grinned. "The Carter Special?"

"Yeah," Janet said. "She's gonna be a Carter."

"And he'll sure as hell be special," Sam refused to accept Janet's prediction about the sex of the baby. "Jan?" Sam's voice was tentative.

"Yes hon?" Janet looked worried at Sam's serious expression.

"I wasn't being entirely truthful earlier," Sam admitted. "When I said there was no particular reason for coming here."

Janet raised an eyebrow.

Sam reached into her pocket, withdrawing a small box. "I wanted to give you this. I know we can't marry Jan. Not yet anyway. And that fact makes me mad as hell. But we will one day. Even if it's the last thing we do, we'll marry. Right now I'd really like it if at least you'd wear my ring. A sort of engagement ring. And eternity ring. I just want you to have some tangible evidence of my commitment to you. To us. All of us. As a family," Sam's mouth was dry, she knew she had started to babble. "I love you so much baby."

Sam opened the box, and pushed it nervously toward Janet. Nestled in the velvet was a beautiful, delicate diamond.

Janet couldn't stop the tears falling as, with shaking hands, she reached for the box. "It's perfect Sam," she said eventually, "it's perfect. Just like you. Will you put it on for me?"

Sam nodded, and very gently took Janet's left hand as she slipped the ring on her finger. "It fits," her voice cracked. "You have beautiful hands, Janet."

"We'll skip dessert, huh?" Janet's voice shook.

"Yeah," Sam agreed.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Samantha my darling!" Kathryn cried the next morning, after she finally stopped hugging Janet. "My J's looking incredible, isn't she?" she pointed to Janet's belly.

"She sure is," Sam agreed. "She looks better each day."

"So Samantha, you're looking pretty good yourself. Are you well?" Kathryn wanted to know.

"Never been better," Sam said firmly. "Everything's good. Real good."

"I'm so excited about this wedding," Kathryn said. "And going to London. I haven't been there since the 1970s. I'll bet it's real different now."

"We'll find out soon enough," Janet laughed. "C'mon, we'd better get going. Cassie and Annie are flying out late tonight, and they want to see you before they leave."

"Well I'm all ready," Kathryn pointed to her suitcase.

Sam reached down and picked it up. "I'm so pleased you're coming with us, Kathryn," she put her arm round the small woman's shoulders. "Cassie would have hated it if you couldn't come."

"Nothing'd keep me away from my favorite granddaughter's special day," Kathryn said firmly.

"Your only granddaughter, Mom," Janet reminded her laughing.

"So far," Kathryn pointed at Janet's belly, and all three women laughed.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Grandma!" Cassie yelled, as she ran from the front door and flung her arms round her much-loved grandmother. "You made it!"

"Cassandra," Kathryn said, over and over. She pulled back, and looked her granddaughter over. "So, the big day's nearly here, then?"

"Yeah," Cassie said, unable to hide her smile. "I can't wait Grandma, it's gonna be amazing. I mean," she winked at Anna, who had just emerged from the house behind her. "Waking up with Annie is the best feeling in the world. It'll just be nice to know that soon she'll be legally obliged to be there!" she grinned wickedly.

"What time are you leaving?" Kathryn asked.

"In just over two hours," Anna replied, as she leant forward to kiss her nearly-grandmother-in-law. "We're catching the 10.30pm flight."

"And I'll bet you're not looking forward to that," Kathryn said sympathetically, knowing how much Anna hated flying.

"It's not my favorite thing to do," Anna admitted. "But," she slid one arm round Cassie's waist, "somehow I think it's going to be worth it."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"I'm driving," Janet said firmly. "You've been driving all day, Sam," she saw how tired Sam was. "And the airport's less than an hour away. I'm just pregnant, Sam," she saw Sam about to protest. "I'm not sick. And you've got to give yourself a break sometime."

"Okay," Sam laughed. "You drive. But I think we should all go, wave the bridal party on their way, what do you say Kathryn?"

Kathryn nodded enthusiastically. "Definitely," she agreed.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"We'll be there Thursday," Sam's eyes filled with tears as she hugged her daughter. "Plenty of time to get everything ready for Saturday. You two have a wonderful time, huh?"

Cassie nodded. "We will. Not that I have any idea what we're gonna be doing. Annie's kept everything secret. Until we meet up with you Thursday, I have no idea what Annie's plans are."

"You'll find out soon enough," Anna said, a big smile her on her face. "Need to know basis. Sam and Janet know, and they both think it's a good idea."

"It's the best," Janet reassured Cassie as she hugged her. "I'll tell you once they're gone, Mom," she saw the confused look on her mother's face.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"How romantic!" Kathryn agreed as Janet told her of Anna's plans for the next few days. "Cassie'll love it."

"She will, won't she?" Janet agreed.

At that moment, Sam's cellphone trilled. "Carter," she barked into it, unable to shake off the military mode of answering the 'phone.

"Carter!" O'Neill's voice sounded relieved. "Thank God you're there."

"Sir?" Sam asked. "Is everything okay? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Carter," O'Neill replied, "it's nothin' serious. Well, not really. It's not dangerous. Not yet, anyway. But we need you."

"What's the problem, General?" Sam snapped into 'work mode'. "How can I help?"

"It's an anti-gravity thing, Carter. I'll pass you to Daniel, he'll explain better than I can. We both think we need you here, have you got a couple of hours?"

"I'll be right there, Sir," Sam replied. "We're just leaving the airport, I can be there in half an hour," she looked pleadingly at Janet, who nodded her agreement.

Daniel explained to Sam that the problem being experienced at the SGC was an old one; they had dialed a new planet, and couldn't get the Stargate to disengage. This fact was compounded by the fact that, somehow, they were losing gravity. "It's spreading, Sam," Daniel said. "To start with, it was just a couple of feet by the 'gate. But it's worse now, most of the stuff in the Gate Room is.. well, floating."

"That shouldn't be too difficult," Sam said. "A directed energy blast should force the 'gate to disengage. I'm assuming you've already tried cutting power, all the usual suspects?"

"Yes," Daniel said. "But it's worse than before, in a way. The data tells us there's some sort of shield the other side of the 'gate. Dr Lee says that if we direct an energy blast toward the shield, it may come back and bite us in the ass."

Sam nodded. "Bill's right," she agreed. "I'll be there soon," she promised. "Keep all the doors shut, and the blast door down," she advised. "And don't fire anything at the 'gate. At all."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Wait," Janet commanded as she pulled up in the parking lot at the mountain. She rifled in her bag in the trunk. "Take these," she said, shoving a large bottle of Dramamine in her hand. "You know how you are with anti-gravity, Sam," she reminded her.

"Yeah," Sam agreed, taking off the lid and dry swallowing three tablets. "Thank God I never made it into Nasa, huh?" she smiled ruefully, not looking forward to the next couple of hours. She hoped that she'd be able to do most of her work away from the affected area, or she was going to be feeling pretty lousy. "Thanks, baby. You go home now, I'll get an airman to give me a ride later."

"Call me as soon as you know anything?" Janet insisted.

"I swear," Sam kissed her gently. "I'm hoping it won't take too long."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"There are too many variables," Sam was getting frustrated with O'Neill's insistence on offering 'helpful' advice. "Look, Sir, why don't you go get a cup of coffee, while I go through a few ideas with Bill, see what we can come up with."

"Good idea, Carter," O'Neill agreed. "Can I bring you a cup?"

"Not for me," Sam blanched at the idea. She had spent the last five hours going in and out of the anti-gravity area, and was feeling distinctly queasy. She could have sworn, too, that she had just seen a pencil on the edge of her desk lifting slightly at the end. She knew it wouldn't be long before the whole of her lab, and much of the rest of the SGC, would also be affected. "I'll stick to water for the moment," she pointed at the bottle on her desk. "But thank you. I'll let you know how we get on."

Sam picked up the 'phone. "Hey sweetie," her voice softened as Janet immediately answered. "I think you'd better go to bed, Jan," she said. "We've not made any real progress yet, I can't see that we will in the next hour or so." The voice at the end of the 'phone was gentle, and Sam smiled. "I'm okay, baby," she reassured Janet. "It's not like there's any danger, beyond motion sickness that is," she grimaced. "Bill and I have some ideas; we just have to work out how to penetrate the shield with a big enough blast to cause the wormhole to jump. We've found harder answers in the past, it'll all be fine. You get some sleep, hon. I will. I swear. Yes, Jan, whatever time, I'll call, I promise you. I love you." And she hung up the 'phone.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Sir?" Sam dialed O'Neill in his office eight hours later on. "I think I have an idea."

"I knew you could do it, Carter," O'Neill said confidently.

"It's not definite," Sam warned. "And it's gonna take a while. Sir, how many crossbows do we have in the armory?"

"Crossbows?" O'Neill asked. "I'm not sure, about 40 I think."

"That might just do it, if we can modify them," Sam said. "Sir, you know that the shields are usually impenetrable to our guns, right?"

"Yeah," O'Neill said suspiciously.

"Well, my theory is that we may be able to fire arrows through, and they'll penetrate the shields, as they are comparatively slow moving."

"But don't we need a blast?" O'Neill asked, "to dislodge the wormhole?"

"Yes, Sir," Sam agreed. "That's why it's going to take a while. My idea is to modify the bows so that they can fire, say, 10 arrows at once. And we also need to modify the arrows, so that each of them carries a microscopic particle of naquadah. Then if we can fire off around 200 arrows, each enhanced with naquadah, that should, I hope, cause a large enough blast. I really think it could work, Sir," Sam sounded tired.

"Sounds good to me, Carter," O'Neill replied. "Siler's just arrived, can we get him to do the modifications while you get some rest? It's 9am Sam, and you've been up all night," his voice was gentle.

"I was hoping he could modify the bows," Sam said. "And maybe rig up some sort of frame, so they all fire at once. I don't want anybody else to do the arrows, though, Sir," she said. "It's a very complicated process, and the slightest mistake and we'll all be blown to hell. I don't want to risk that Sir."

"Nor do I Carter, but the doc will have my head if I exhaust you," O'Neill's voice was mock-gruff as he tried to disguise his caring side.

"No choice Sir," Carter said tiredly. "But Captain Hailey's just arrived, she's gonna help. It should only take a few hours, Sir," she insisted.

"How few?" O'Neill demanded.

"Ten or twelve, if we're gonna do 200 or more" Sam admitted. "And that's if we don't have any problems. Sir, I really think..."

"Okay, Carter," O'Neill interrupted her. "Just call if you need anything."

In the event, it took Sam and Jennifer Hailey nearly fourteen hours to modify all the arrows. During that time, though, Siler worked wonders on the new frame to ensure that the modified bows all fired at exactly the same time. The loss of gravity continued to spread throughout the mountain, and it had nearly reached the eighth floor of the SGC.

"This had better work," an exhausted and pale Sam said as she fitted the last arrow to one of the crossbows just before 3am the following day. She perched precariously on the edge of the frame, with Siler holding on to the bottom of her pant leg to stop her floating off.

"I'll work, Carter," O'Neill said. "Your ideas always work."

"Not always," Sam said glumly, looking distinctly green.

Siler hauled her back to ground level, where she held tightly onto the door frame to stop her taking off again.

"Okay," Sam said, "clear the 'gate room."

Everybody except O'Neill left. "You don't think I'm leaving you here on your own, do you Carter?" he had an impish grin on his face.

"No Sir, I didn't really think you would," she admitted. "Okay, here goes nothin'!" She pulled the lever, and 230 arrows unleashed at high speed. O'Neill watched her face as the wormole first flickered, and then suddenly cut off. Seconds later, gravity returned to the room. Sam stumbled as she felt her own weight again for the first time in many hours.

"Carter!" O'Neill shouted, and Sam just had time to put up an arm to deflect a chair that came hurtling to the ground. Thanks to his warning, it missed her head, but still hit her hard in the side, knocking her to the floor.

"Carter?" he asked. "Are you okay?" He put out a hand to help her up.

"I'm okay," she said unconvincingly. "Just bruising, I'm sure," she reassured him. "Nothin' serious."

"You did it Carter!" he put an arm round her.

"Yes Sir," she said, shakily.

He peered anxiously at her. "I think you'd better stop by the infirmary. Just to make sure."

"Yes, Sir," she said, her voice not as steady as she would have liked. "Though I think I'll just go throw up first. With your permission. Sir."

"Knock yourself out," he said, opening the door for her as she bolted through it.

When Sam emerged from the washroom, O'Neill was waiting outside for her, holding a warm blanket. "Hey Carter," he said gently, wrapping the blanket round her shoulders.

"Thank you Sir," Sam said, "I am a little cold."

"You're coming with me," he said, affectionately grasping her hand and chafing it between his own. "They're just gonna check you out quickly, and then you can go home at last."

"Yes Sir," Sam said, squeezing his fingers. "Thank you."

"Thank you Carter," he said, "saved our asses. Again. I called the doc," he told her, "she's on her way, she'll be here soon."

"You called Janet?" Sam looked concerned.

"I did," he said firmly. "She called me yesterday, told me to let her know when it was all over. She said to call at any time, day or night. Apparently somebody else promised they'd call her," he looked at her accusingly.

Sam smiled sheepishly. "I was gonna call," she said. "Just thought I'd give it until 6am, didn't want to disturb her."

"She said that's what you would say," O'Neill smiled, "which is why she called me. She knew I'd have no qualms waking her at an ungodly hour."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"She's okay?" Janet demanded when she arrived at the infirmary.

"I'm fine, Jan," Sam insisted. "Really."

"Did you do an x-ray?" Janet spoke directly to Dr Lam, ignoring Sam completely.

"Yes," Dr Lam smiled. "And a scan. Just to be sure. It's going to be one hell of a bruise, but it's only a bruise. Want to see the files?"

Janet smiled, shamefacedly. "No," she said. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to mistrust your judgement. I just... I worry, sometimes."

The other doctor smiled. "No need to apologize," she said.

"We'll go home and sleep, huh?" Janet turned to Sam, putting her hand affectionately on her shoulder.

"Yeah," Sam's voice betrayed just how tired she really was. "That'd be good."

"C'mon," Janet pulled her gently to her feet. "You've been up nearly 48 hours. You're gonna sleep like the dead."

Sam nodded.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet reached over and buckled Sam into her seat. She cupped her cheek, and kissed her softly. "You okay?" she asked gently.

"M'fine," Sam replied, almost asleep. She remembered something. "Shit, what time do we fly out this evening?"

"We don't," Janet replied. "I changed the flights." She saw Sam struggling to wake fully, in order to protest. "You're exhausted, baby," she told her firmly. "We'll leave tomorrow evening, same time. We'll get there Friday morning. That gives us over 24 hours until the wedding. That's plenty of time, Sam. Do you really want to turn up in London exhausted, and have Cass worrying about you when she should be thinking about her wedding? I called her," she saw tears gather in Sam's eyes. "It's okay, sweetie, really it is. Cass understands. They both do. They both send their love, and can't wait to see you. On Friday!"

Sam smiled. "Thanks Jan," she whispered.

When they returned to the house, Sam was touched to find Kathryn standing in the kitchen in her robe. "I made you hot chocolate," her mother-in-law told her. "J said you likely wouldn't want anything to eat." Sam shook her head. "Drink this, then sleep," Kathryn told her gently.

Impulsively, Sam pulled her into a tight hug. "You Fraiser women are amazing," she said gratefully.

"Don't you forget it, Sam," Janet said, laughter in her voice.


	48. Chapter 48 WEDDING

"I can't believe we're back here," Cassie excitedly squeezed Anna's hand as they sat together in the back of the cab. "It seems like a lifetime ago."

"In some ways it is," Anna smiled, "so many things have changed since you first arrived in London." She leaned forward and spoke directly to the cab driver. "Can you drop us here?" she asked, "and then take the big bags to the hotel? I'll just take the back pack."

The cab driver nodded and smiled, pulling over where Anna indicated. Anna leaned through the window and paid the driver, giving him a hefty tip. "Thanks!" she grinned, as she waved him off.

"Half way across Westminster Bridge? Why here?" Cassie wanted to know.

"Because it was when we first came here," Anna took Cassie's hand, "that I realized I had fallen in love with you. But then," she took a deep breath, "then, I thought you were straight, and would have no interest in having a relationship with me. We were already well on our way to being really good friends. But I thought that would be as far as it went. So," she kissed Cassie softly, "I wanted us to come back here this week, so that I could hold you in my arms, on this bridge, knowing that you're going to be my wife. That we're going to be together for ever."

Cassie noticed that Anna's eyes were damp. "Oh Annie," she said, her voice cracking. "That's just beautiful. I think I fell for you as soon as I saw you. You were, you _are_ so beautiful, and you were so excited about books, and literature and poetry. I was so relieved when you lent me that book, so that I would have an excuse to come back and see you again. What was that poem you recited when we first came here, the one about Westminster Bridge?"

Anna smiled. "This one?" she asked, and recited:

_"Earth has not anything to show more fair:  
Dull would he be of soul who could pass by  
A sight so touching in its majesty." _

"Yeah," Cassie said wistfully. "That was it. I'm so pleased we decided to marry here, Annie," she said, "it's just the perfect place to do it. Where we met."

"And where we had our courtship," Anna said.

"Yeah," Cassie said. "In that funny little apartment. I don't think I've ever been happier than I was then, Annie. Apart from now," she grinned. "Now, being here with you, knowing that soon we'll be married. Now, I'm happier than I ever imagined possible."

"Me too, sweetheart," Anna pulled her into her arms. "Everything's perfect. We're getting married, Mum, Dad and Izzie have moved to Colorado, and Sam and Janet are having a baby. _And_ we'll soon be moving into our own place, thanks to Sam and Janet. We're so lucky, aren't we Cass?"

"We sure are," Cassie agreed. "So what happens next?" she asked, with a twinkle in her eye, guessing that Anna had the next few days planned out.

"I thought lunch," Anna said. "Wherever you want."

Cassie grinned. "How about we head to Covent Garden, and eat in Ginelli's, for old-times' sake?"

Anna smiled widely. "I was hoping you'd say that," she said. "I want to tell Mario all about our wedding. Show him our engagement rings," unconsciously she touched the ring that Cassie had given her. "He'll be so excited."

"Ginelli's it is then," Cassie smiled.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"I think he's almost as excited as we are," Anna smiled, once Mario had finally allowed them to sit at his small cafe.

"He's a lovely guy," Cassie agreed, "I'm so glad we came here. Annie," she smiled at her lover, "I know it sounds kinda dumb, but in many ways I wish we weren't going to the hotel tonight. I wish we were just going back to the apartment over the bookshop. I know," she laughed at herself, "it's hardly the best accommodation London has to offer. But I loved it. I loved every minute I spent there."

"Do you really mean that?" Anna's eyes twinkled.

"Oh God yes," Cassie said, "every word."

"I'm so pleased to hear that," Anna said, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a door key, which she placed on the table. "Because that's my 'surprise'! That's where we're going. We don't check into the hotel until Friday morning. We've got three nights at the flat."

"Are you serious?" Cassie's face lit up, as she reached across for the key which she recognized. "Oh my God, Annie," tears filled her eyes. "That's amazing. And so romantic. I can't believe you thought of that."

Anna reached over, and kissed her very gently. "That flat means everything to me, Cass," she said, her tone serious. "That was where my life was transformed. I thought I was happy enough, and then I met you, and you opened up a whole new world for me. I just wanted," she smiled shyly, "I just wanted to recreate that. For a few days. Just you and me, and London. And great Italian food," she smiled as Mario delivered two steaming plates of tagliatelle.

"I love you so much," Cassie took her hand.

"I had the place cleaned," Anna assured her fiancee. "And I ordered groceries online, which Uncle Joe was going to put in the fridge. It should all be ready and waiting for us."

"You're incredible," Cassie said, "I can't think of a better surprise. So that's what the back pack is all about, huh?" she pointed to the large bag at Anna's feet.

"Yeah," Anna grinned. "The cab driver's leaving our suitcases at the hotel. Don't worry, I cleared it with the hotel, they're going to store them for us until we get there. I just brought a few clothes for us for while we're at the flat, jeans, t-shirts, that sort of thing."

"I'm kinda hoping we won't be needing too many clothes, Annie," Cassie grinned wickedly. "I have great memories of that pull-out bed; I'm hoping to revisit those memories."

Anna smiled back. "Yeah," her voice was husky. "That's pretty much what I was planning."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"My God, Annie," Cassie exclaimed. "I can't believe all this!" she gestured at the sparklingly clean apartment. "I don't think this place has ever been so clean. And I love all these candles," Anna had somehow arranged for what looked like hundreds of candles to be put out all over the apartment. "And correct me if I'm wrong," she sat on the bed and ran her hands over the sheets, "but isn't this Egyptian cotton?"

Anna grinned. "Well," she said, "I was planning that we'd spend quite a lot of our time here, so I thought it'd be nice to have a bit of luxury. Wait there," she commanded, returning seconds later with a bottle of cold champagne and two crystal glasses, which she handed to Cassie. "Hold these," she instructed, as she twisted the cork. As the bottle spurted, she managed to get most of the escaping wine into the glasses Cassie was holding. She sat next to Cassie, and took one of the glasses from her. "To us," she said, her voice cracking with emotion, as she clinked her glass against Cassie's. "Now and for ever."

"For ever," Cassie echoed.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Janet asked tenderly as they reached their bedroom.

"Yeah," Sam replied tiredly. "I'm fine, Jan, I swear."

"Mind if I check out that bruise?" Janet asked. "I know they looked at it in the infirmary, but..."

"But you just wanna make sure?" Sam smiled. "Of course you can, baby. I love that you care so much."

Very gently, Janet drew Sam's t-shirt over her head, noticing Sam wincing as she raised her arms above her head. The bruising was spreading dramatically against her side. Janet tried not to gasp at what she saw. "Shit, hon," she said, "that looks sore."

"Yeah," Sam admitted. "Hurts like hell. But it's okay, it's only a bruise."

"Arnica," Janet pronounced. "We should get as much of the bruising out as possible, before you're stuck in a 'plane for hours. Wait there," she commanded, returning shortly from the bathroom with a bottle of arnica. Very carefully, she unsnapped Sam's bra, leaving the whole of her torso clear. "I'll be gentle," she promised her lover, as she took the lid off the bottle.

"You always are," Sam replied affectionately, trying not to start as Janet began to apply the ointment to her skin.

"Want something for the pain?" Janet asked, as she finished her ministrations.

Sam shook her head. "It's not that bad," she said.

"Well take these at least," Janet passed her two arnica tablets, "they'll help too."

"Thanks baby," Sam was so tired she was almost slurring her words. She changed carefully into her pajamas with Janet's help.

"D'you think you can sleep now?" Janet asked. It was now almost 9am on the Wednesday morning, and Sam had been up for two full days without sleep.

"Yeah," Sam replied sleepily, reaching out and taking Janet's hand. "I'll bet you haven't slept too well either Jan, why don't you grab a few hours too?"

Janet yawned and then laughed at the timing. "You might be right, Sam," she said with a smile. "I'll just go tell Mom that she's on her own for a few hours. I'll be right back."

When Janet returned to the bedroom less than five minutes later, she saw that Sam was already dead to the world. She changed rapidly and very carefully climbed in beside her, making sure not to touch her bruised side. In her sleep, Sam shifted involuntarily at the presence of her lover, and snuggled up next to Janet, her arm reaching out to claim Janet, her hand resting on Janet's swollen belly.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Vala!" Janet cried, as she saw Daniel and Vala were already at the airport. "I'm so pleased you decided to come to the wedding," she looked down at Vala's protruding stomach.

Vala laughed. "Don't get Daniel worried," she said, "the baby's not due for over seven weeks. We wouldn't miss the wedding for the world, would we?" she looked up at Daniel. "Anyway," she said, "I want to see London, from what I hear it's a beautiful city."

"It is," Sam agreed, "or at least it was when I last went, about 20 years ago. So what about General O'Neill and Teal'c? Have they gotten here yet?"

"Jack's getting coffee," Daniel explained, "and Teal'c's getting..."

"Doughnuts!" Sam spoke before he could finish his sentence.

Daniel laughingly agreed. He put an arm round Sam. "You know what this wedding means, don't you, Sam?" he had a wicked twinkle in his eye.

"What?" Sam demanded, suspiciously.

"You and Janet are both going to be 'mothers-in-law'!" he chuckled.

"Oh don't!" Janet cried, "that makes us sound so old!"

"And crotchety," Sam added. "Before you know it, we're going to be round at the girls' apartment every day, interfering, choosing their drapes for them and criticizing their cooking!"

"I hardly think you're gonna be allowed to critize _anyone's_ cooking, Sam," Janet said with a grin.

Sam grinned back. "I have other talents," she said, her voice low and sultry.

Janet swallowed. "Damned straight you do," she agreed.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Where are they?" Cassie demanded.

"They'll be through soon," Izzie took her hand reassuringly. She had arrived the day before with her parents, and had insisted on coming to the airport with Cassie to meet the rest of the wedding party, while Anna had stayed behind with her parents, finalizing some of the details of the wedding.

Cassie smiled at Izzie. "You're great, Iz," she said, pulling her into an impulsive hug. "I can't wait until you're my sister-in-law. I can't wait to see you in your dress, too," she said.

Izzie smiled back. "Mum helped me choose it," she said. "She says it's really nice."

"I'm sure it is, Iz, and I know you'll look beautiful in it. The prettiest bridesmaid ever!" she declared.

"There they are!" Izzie shouted, catching a glimpse of Teal'c, and spotting Sam's blonde head.

Sam sprinted over to them, seizing Izzie in a huge hug. "You came to meet us!" she said, surprised and touched.

"We couldn't wait to see you," Izzie said.

Soon the whole group was caught up in greetings, a warm, happy group.

"Let's go see London," Janet declared after they had all calmed down. "We've all got a ton of things to do before the wedding."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Cassie and Anna spent the night before their wedding in the hotel, parting at 6am with a kiss, as each went to their respective parents' room to get ready for the wedding.

"I'll see you at 12pm, huh?" Cassie's voice cracked as she held Anna that morning.

"I'll be there," Anna said, "I can't wait to see you in your dress. Or your jeans," she remembered something Cassie had said previously. "I can't wait until you're mine."

"I've always been yours," Cassie said.

"How about a last kiss?" Anna asked. "A last kiss as a single woman, that is."

Cassie leaned in, and kissed Anna passionately.

"Wow!" Anna said as they finally pulled apart. "You certainly made it memorable. I love you Cass," she said, as she reluctantly moved toward the door. "Never forget that."

"Ditto," Cassie said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"You are so beautiful," Janet's voice cracked with emotion as she stood back from her daughter, who was finally ready. Cassie's elegant, simple cream dress made her look like a goddess. "Anna's a very lucky woman."

"Not as lucky as I am, Mom," Cassie said.

"This is going to be an incredible day," Sam said softly, as she kissed her daughter on the cheek.

"It's gonna be the best," Cassie agreed. "What about you two? Are you nervous Sam?"

"No," Sam said. "I'm just excited."

"I meant about reading the poem at the ceremony," Cassie said.

Janet laughed. "She's practiced that reading _so_ many times, I swear she knows it off by heart. You don't even need the book, do you Sam?"

Sam grinned. "Well it's a beautiful poem," she said.

"Sonnet," Janet corrected.

"Sonnet," Sam agreed with a smile. "It's perfect, for you, Cass, and for Annie."

"Annie chose it," Cassie said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

When Cassie, Sam and Janet arrived at the London Eye for the ceremony, O'Neill, Teal'c, Daniel and Vala were already there waiting for them.

"She'll be right here," Sam saw Cassie looking round for Anna and not seeing her. "Just give her a moment, huh?" She took her daughter's hand, and realized she was trembling slightly. "It's all going to be great, Cass," her voice was gentle and reassuring.

A cab drew up at that moment, and Izzie emerged, flanked by both her parents. She saw the others, and waved frantically.

"She's beautiful," Janet said to Sam. "And she looks so excited!"

"She's wanted to be a bridesmaid for years," Cassie said, "look, she even got to wear her tiara!"

Anna then emerged from the cab, and Cassie's mouth went dry at the sight of her. She was wearing a long, satin dress in deep red, which complemented her skin tone perfectly.

All the members of the wedding party greeted each other enthusiastically. Sam was particularly touched to see Vala making a big effort to compliment Izzie on her dress, and to make sure that both 'sides' of the wedding party mingled completely.

Anna and Cassie didn't notice any of that, though; they were both transfixed by the sight of each other. Cassie took a tentative step forward, and took both of Anna's hands in her own. "Thank you," she said, tears in her eyes. "Thank you for being here. For being so beautiful. For loving me."

"You are my life," Anna said simply.

They all stepped into the cabin, and before they knew it the ceremony was under way. Cassie kept hold of Anna's hands throughout the 20-minute service, with both women looking deep into each other's eyes the whole time.

Sam and Janet both found the wedding service extremely moving. Sam stood behind Janet in the small cabin, her arms round her lover, one hand resting protectively on her belly. "I love you," Sam whispered in her ear, so quietly nobody else could hear. "So much."

Just before the service concluded, the minister turned to Sam, and asked her to recite the sonnet.

"This is Annie's favorite sonnet from Shakespeare," Sam told the group as she stepped forward to recited, "and she and Cass want to hear it on their special day." She took a deep breath, and recited:

_Let me not to the marriage of true minds  
Admit impediments. Love is not love  
Which alters when it alteration finds,  
Or bends with the remover to remove:  
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,  
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;  
It is the star to every wandering bark,  
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.  
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks  
Within his bending sickle's compass come;  
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,  
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.  
If this be error and upon me proved,  
I never writ, nor no man ever loved._

Tears filled Janet's eyes as she heard her lover speaking the words, and she looked over at her daughter, whose face reflected pure love and joy.

After Sam had finished the sonnet, the minister asked Cassie and Anna to exchange rings.

"I had them engraved," Anna told Cassie before she put her ring on. Cassie turned the ring over, and on the inside, saw the words, _an ever fixed mark_.

"That's beautiful," Cassie whispered to Anna.

"So are you, Mrs Ross," Anna replied with a wide smile. "So are you."


	49. Chapter 49 MAGIC HANDS

"She looked so beautiful, didn't she Sam?" Janet asked as she sat heavily on the bed back in their hotel room. "And so did Annie. And Izzie. Izzie was amazing, wasn't she?"

"She sure was, honey," Sam agreed wistfully. "I think she was more excited than anybody. She's a real sweet girl. And she loves Cassie."

"Cassie loves her too," Janet replied. "She loves the whole family. They're gonna be together forever. Like us," she smiled as she looked up at Sam.

Sam looked carefully at Janet. "You tired?" she asked.

Janet smiled. "Yeah," she admitted. "And stiff. But happy. I'm very happy, Sam."

"Me too, hon," Sam said. "Your back hurting again Jan?"

"A little," Janet said. "It's not bad though."

Sam sat down next to her, and cupped her cheek gently, and kissed her very softly on the lips. "How about a massage, and then a hot bath?" she suggested.

"Oh that sounds great," Janet said. "You'll come in the tub with me?"

"If that's what you want," Sam replied.

"It is," Janet said firmly.

Sam helped Janet out of her clothes. "On your front," she instructed, and went to get the massage oil.

Janet marveled at how Sam's strong hands could be so gentle on her skin, pressing and kneading carefully to get all the knots and kinks out of her back. "God that's good," Janet breathed, as Sam worked her way down Janet's spine. "You have magic hands, Sam."

Sam smiled. "Any excuse to touch you, you know that," she teased. In truth, she was just grateful to be able to offer Janet some relief. After nearly an hour, Janet's eyes were closing. Sam kissed her tenderly on the back of the neck, and drew the sheet up over her. "Sleep, honey," she whispered.

"Nuh uh," Janet's words were slurring slightly. "Run the tub, Sam. I wanna take that bath with you."

"You don't want to sleep a while first?" Sam asked solicitously.

"After," Janet said.

Once the bath was full of warm water, Sam added some essential oils. She went back into the bedroom, and sat on the bed next to Janet, who was by now lying on her back, watching Sam's every move. Sam leant down and kissed her softly on the lips. "S'all ready baby," she said. "If you still want it."

Janet sat up, and ran her hand down Sam's soft cheek. "I swear you get more lovely every time I look at you," she said, a hint of wonder in her voice. She reached out and started to unbutton Sam's shirt. "Don't mistake me," this time she had a twinkle in her eye, "you look beautiful in these clothes. You were amazing at the wedding. But you're even more beautiful without clothes." She slid the shirt down Sam's sleeves, touching and kissing her at every opportunity.

Soon they were both naked. "Tub," Sam reminded Janet. "Water'll be getting cold." And she led her to the bathroom, and they got into the tub together, Janet sitting in front of Sam. Sam pulled Janet back gently, so that she was lying against her front, and with a washcloth lovingly rubbed soap into her body.

At that moment, Janet had never felt so loved and cared for. "Thank you sweetie," her voice cracked slightly. "That feels wonderful."

Sam kissed her on her slender neck. "How's your back feel?"

"S'great now," Janet said. "Thanks to you." She felt behind her and grasped one of Sam's hands, and brought it to her lips, kissing it. Suddenly, she felt a new sensation in her belly. "Oh my God," she exhaled, sitting up slightly.

"Jan?" Sam was alarmed. "What is it baby? Are you okay?"

Janet twisted and half turned to face her. Sam saw a huge smile on her face. "She kicked!" Janet was ecstatic. "The baby kicked. Oh, she's just done it again. Feel!" she brought Sam's hand to her belly.

After a moment, Sam felt a fluttering under her fingers. "Was that the baby?" she asked, awe in her voice.

"That's the baby alright," Janet couldn't stop grinning. "Seems she wanted to be part of Cass's wedding day after all."

"Is that normal?" Sam asked. "Should the baby be kicking already?"

"I'm 22 weeks, Sam," Janet said, "she's bang on schedule. Oh my God, Sam, it's the most incredible feeling. Our baby," tears formed in her eyes. "Our baby."

**SGSGSGSGSG**

"Do you think you can sleep?" Sam asked Janet, as she snuggled down in the bed next to her.

"Like the dead," Janet replied drowsily. "It's been a wonderful day, hasn't it Sam?"

"The best," Sam agreed. "I've never been to such a beautiful wedding. And now this," she placed her hand over Janet's belly. "Life is good, huh?"

"It really is," Janet's voice was dreamy.

**SGSGSGSGSG**

"I think it's perfect," Anna said in a firm voice, as they pulled over at the grocery store in Minnesota. "And really romantic, too."

"Are you sure you don't mind?" Cassie had started to worry. "It's just... I know we don't want to spend too much money. And it sounded so romantic when Uncle Jack offered to lend us his cabin for our honeymoon. But now we're almost there, I'm wondering if maybe it's a bit too basic. I mean, we _did_ all that on our world tour. Staying in cabins. Tents. Under the stars. The honeymoon's supposed to be memorable."

"There's a log fire, right?" Anna asked.

Cassie nodded.

"And a big bed?" Anna asked.

Cassie nodded again.

"And you're going to be in that bed with me?"

Cassie nodded a third time, a grin creeping over her face.

"Well," Anna was smiling broadly. "It sounds pretty damned perfect to me."

"There's a lake too," Cassie found her voice again. "With no fish in it."

"I hate fish," Anna said. "But I love lakes. Moonlight over the water at night. C'mon," she pulled Cassie by the hand toward the store. "Let's get these groceries. I want to see that cabin as soon as possible. I want to check out that bed too," she winked.

**SGSGSGSGSG**

"It's good to be home," Janet said, as she got out of the car.

Sam opened the back door of the car, and Toby and Albie bounded out, with Albie in particular leaping up and running around madly. "It sure is," she agreed, "and the boys agree too, don't you?" she reached down and petted Toby.

"I suggest we leave the unpacking and laundry until tomorrow," Janet suggested. "I think we should call for take-out and then," she fingered Sam's collar, "then, we should have an early night."

"It's only 4pm Jan," Sam reminded her lover.

"It's 4pm in Colorado," Janet pointed out. "In London it's 11pm. Hey," she pretended to pout. "Is it my fault my hormones are out of control? I'm a pregnant lady you know."

Sam grinned in anticipation. "Well, in that case," she said, "I don't suppose you can help it."

Janet grinned back. "Damned straight I can't," she said. "Anyway," she was already sliding Sam's jacket down her arms, "we should make the most of this while we can. Once this one arrives," she pointed down to her belly, "everything's gonna change."

"Everything's gonna be wonderful," Sam said, capturing her lips with her own.

"Even if we don't make love for weeks?" Janet was suddenly serious, voicing a concern that had started to nag at her.

"Even if we don't for months. For years," Sam replied firmly. "I hope you're not worrying about that Jan?" she put an arm round her shoulders.

"Some people don't want to for ages after they've given birth," Janet said.

"Well then we won't," Sam's voice was tender. "All I need is to hold you, to have you by my side. There's no hurry, baby. Not for anything. Jan," she pushed a lock of hair behind Janet's ear. "It's going to be amazing. Our baby's going to be amazing. _He'll_ be perfect," she smiled, reminding Janet that they disagreed on the predicted sex of the baby.

"_She'll_ be perfect," Janet pulled herself together. "And very soon," she groaned, "I'm gonna be fat. Real fat."

"_You'll_ be perfect too," Sam told her. "The more of you there is, the happier I am." She cupped a swollen breast gently. "And you know how I feel about _these_," she grinned.

Janet smiled. "I think I have some idea of your views," she said, trying and failing to hide a smile.

"We'll get take-out later, huh?" Sam's mouth was suddenly dry.

"Much later," Janet agreed, grasping her by the hand and leading her to the stairs. "I have plans for you right now."

"I'm all yours, Jan," Sam said. "All yours."


	50. Chapter 50 TIME WILL TELL

"C'mon, it'll be fun!" Cassie had a wild glint in her eye as she tried to pull her wife from the big bed.

"Midnight swimming?" Anna sounded cautious. "Are you sure you want to do that?"

"Not _swimming_," Cassie stressed. "_Skinnydipping_. Much more fun!"

"Skinnydipping, huh?" Anna grinned. "Oh well, in _that_ case...!" She slid off the bed, reaching for her robe. "What?" she demanded. "It might be cold on the jetty. I'll take it off when I get there. You too," she held out Cassie's robe for her. "I want to have something to unwrap once we get there!"

Cassie smiled back, and grabbed her by the hand, pulling her outside.

"Wow," Anna was startled by the full moon reflecting eerily on the water. "It's so beautiful. It's perfect, Cass."

"Just like you," Cassie said softly, reaching up for a kiss. The kiss was passionate and long. After several minutes, she stood back and casually removed her robe, reaching out to untie Anna's. They stood naked in front of each other.

"Come here," Anna's voice cracked as she took Cassie's hand. "I want to hold you," she said, pulling her toward her. As she closed the gap between them, she nuzzled affectionately into Cassie's neck. "Thank you for agreeing to be my wife," she said softly. "You've made me happier than anyone deserves to be."

"Me too," Cassie replied softly. "This is perfect." She pulled back, almost reluctantly, and led Anna to the side of the jetty. "Ready?" she asked, as she started to move down the steps.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Anna smiled.

Cassie slid into the water first, gasping at the temperature. "Jeez it's cold," she said, "but it's wonderful."

Ann smiled at her wife, and dived elegantly into the water, surfacing behind Cassie and wrapping her arms round her. "This is amazing," she said, "what a great idea of yours." She turned Cassie carefully in her arms, and kissed her. "Race you to the other side!" she said grinning.

Before she could finish her sentence, Cassie took off like a bullet, slicing efficiently and rapidly through the water. She easily beat Anna to the far bank of the lake.

"Wow!" Anna said, when she finally caught her. "Where did you learn to swim like that?"

Cassie grinned. "Sam taught me," she said triumphantly. "Said everybody should be able to swim."

"And so they should," Anna agreed, "but you were amazing. That's no ordinary swimming."

"Sam's no ordinary swimmer," Cassie told her. "She swam competitively until she was 14. She only gave it up when she found she didn't have enough time to study. She's still the best swimmer I've ever seen, leaves me in her wake every time."

"How come I never knew that about you? Or about Sam?" Anna pondered. "D'you realize, this is the first time we've been swimming together? Apart from on the beaches in Australia, and that was just playing in the surf."

"Playing's good," Cassie said with seductive smile. "I like playing."

"Oh so do I sweetheart," Anna grinned back, "it's one of my favorite things." Treading water, she took Cassie in her arms again. "I'm so glad we came here," she said with feeling. "It's so much better than staying in some hotel somewhere."

Cassie smiled back. "Yeah," she agreed. "We've got more freedom here too, we can do whatever we want, when we want."

"Like staying in bed for four days straight you mean?" Anna's eyes twinkled.

"We got up!" Cassie protested.

"To eat, and to use the bathroom," Anna smiled.

"We ate breakfast on the porch yesterday morning," Cassie said. "Surely that counts?"

"Breakfast at 4pm?" Anna reminded her.

Cassie grinned. "Well, we had better things to do at breakfast time."

"Yeah," Anna agreed. "We really did, didn't we?"

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"They've had good weather," Janet passed a mug of tea to Sam, who was sitting at the kitchen table, a sleepy Albie in her lap.

"Yes," Sam said, "the whole fortnight's been warm and sunny. Though I'll bet they've hardly noticed the weather," she winked at Janet.

Janet grinned. "Annie's real good for Cass, isn't she?" she said.

"They're perfect for each other," Sam agreed. "I can't believe our little girl is married," she said, not for the first time.

"And they're moving into their own apartment," Janet said, and Sam noticed the sadness in her eyes as she spoke.

Sam reached out and put a hand on Janet's arm. "We'll still see them all the time, Jan," she said gently. "They need their own space."

Janet turned away, trying to hide the tears in her eyes from her lover. "I know that," her voice was muted. "It's just been so wonderful, having them here. The house has felt... alive. More than ever before."

"And it will again, baby," Sam's voice was tender. "Soon there'll be three of us, don't forget. And," she tried to sound cheerful, "Cass and Anna'll be back tomorrow, and they're staying with us for the next ten days, while the decorators finish up in their apartment."

"Yeah," Janet tried to pull herself together. "They are, aren't they?"

"So," Sam said, "the guys still coming over for a barbecue on Sunday?"

"Yes," Janet replied. "Jack, Teal'c, Daniel and Vala; they've all promised they'll be here. It'll be like an 'end-of-honeymoon' party." She turned and looked deeply into Sam's eyes. "We'll be okay, won't we Sam?" she asked, her voice suddenly fearful. "All of us?"

Sam got up from the chair, the snoozing Albie still tucked under one arm. She drew Janet into a one-armed hug. "Of course we will, sweetie, of course we will." She drew back slightly, and looked at Janet's face. "What's brought this on, Jan? Are you okay? This isn't like you."

Janet kissed her softly. "I'm okay, baby," she said, "just hormones, I think. Most of the time, everything seems real good and then... then I panic a bit. But every time I panic, you're there. And suddenly," she smiled tenderly, "everything's okay again."

"I'll always be there, baby," Sam said. "Even when I'm not physically here, if I'm on a mission or something, I'll always be with you. And I'll always come back to you." She carried Albie to his basket at the other end of the kitchen, and gently laid him down. "C'm'ere," she said, wrapping her arms round Janet. "We'll go have a nap on the couch, huh? That always makes you feel better."

Janet nodded, and allowed Sam to lead her to the couch. They snuggled up together and, despite the warm day, Sam reached up and pulled the comforter over Janet. "Sleep," she said to her lover, holding her tight, pressing kisses into her hair, and running her hand over her ever-growing belly.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"They're here!" Janet cried, as she heard the sound of the horn as Cassie drove into the driveway. She ran to the front door, and was down the steps ready to greet her daughter and her wife before Sam realized where she had gone. By the time Sam arrived at the car, Cassie and Janet were locked in a tight hug, and Anna was lifting their bags out of the trunk. "Hey Annie," Sam called, stepping forward to embrace her warmly. "You look great," Sam remarked, noticing the girl's fresh, rosy complexion and relaxed air. "Did you have a good time?"

"The best," Anna said with feeling. "It couldn't have been any better."

Cassie finally let go of Janet, and flung herself at Sam. Sam hugged her tightly. "Hey," she said softly, "so what's it like, being an old married lady?"

"It's perfect, Sam," Cassie told her. At that moment, Toby and Albie, realizing they were missing out on something, came hurtling down the front steps, and starting yapping excitedly.

Eventually everybody, including the dogs, made it back into the house. "We'll do the laundry later," Janet announced. "Come into the living room, and tell us all about it. Did you like the cabin, Annie?"

"I loved it," Anna replied. "And we just had the best time. Ever. We should get married every year, if we can celebrate it with a honeymoon as special as that!"

"The guys are coming over tomorrow, for a barbecue, and to welcome you back. Is that okay?" Sam asked.

"It's great," Cassie told her. "As long as we don't let Uncle Jack cook. I'm not sure Annie's ready for his beer-marinaded meat quite yet!"

"I think I can take anything your family throws at me, Cassie," Anna smiled.

Sam noted that Anna was referring to Jack O'Neill as family, and she realized that that was exactly what he was. The whole of SG-1 were family, not only to her and Janet, but also to their daughter and her wife. It was an odd family, she mused, but it worked; better than most, she thought happily.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Vala, you look amazing!" Sam cried, as she greeted Daniel and Vala on the Sunday.

"Thank you, Samantha," she said, "and you are as beautiful as ever."

"We're not staying long, Sam," Daniel said as he kissed her on the cheek, "Vala..."

"Oh hush, Daniel," Vala said, with a scowl. "He's just fussing, as always."

"I'm not fussing," Daniel protested, "you can't tell me your back isn't real sore right now."

"It's just a bit of backache," Vala waved her hand dismissively. "I didn't want to miss the party. Anyway," she smiled conspiratorially at him. "We have news for everybody, don't we?"

Daniel grinned back. "Not yet," he said, and kissed her. "We'll stay for a couple of hours, tops, deal?"

"Deal!" Vala smiled back at him.

"News?" Sam asked, curiously.

"Soon," Vala promised. "Once everybody's together."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"You got married?" Cassie asked, incredulously, looking from Vala to Daniel and back to Vala again. She could see from their expressions that they were serious.

"I'm sorry, guys," Daniel was apologetic. "We were gonna wait, have a big celebration, with everybody there. But then Vala decided..."

"_We_ decided," Vala corrected him.

"That's true. _We_ decided that we wanted everything to be legal before the baby was born. Just in case. It just makes life simpler, in case something happens to one of us. So we got married on Friday. We're gonna have a church blessing later, once this one," he pointed to Vala's belly, "has put in an appearance. And you're all invited to that. You all _have_ to be there for that." Daniel was talking even faster than usual.

"That's wonderful news," Sam hugged first Daniel, and then Vala. "How does it feel to be Mrs Jackson?" she teased Vala.

"It's great," Vala's smiled was wide, "I didn't think I'd feel any different, but somehow I do. And now," she grinned, "now I can be a nagging wife!"

"You can nag me all you want," Daniel slid an arm round her. "Just don't expect me to join you when you want to shop for soft-furnishings."

Vala smiled again.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Five weeks to go?" Sam asked Vala, later that afternoon, after everybody had eaten and settled on chairs in their large garden.

"Yeah," Vala said tiredly. "Honestly Sam, I've just about had enough of it by now. Up to now, it's all been fine, but my back has really been killing me, especially in the last few days."

"Want me to give you a massage?" Sam offered. "Janet swears that it helps her when her back goes into spasm."

Vala looked at her gratefully. "Would you really do that?" she asked. "Daniel tries, but he just hasn't got the knack."

"Of course," Sam smiled, standing up and holding a hand out to Vala. "We'll go inside, you can lie down on the spare bed, let's see if we can't do something to help."

Vala shot her a grateful look. She stood up and took a step forward, when she suddenly cried out in pain, grasping her belly. "Oh God," she panted.

"Vala?" Sam asked, concerned. "Janet!" she called urgently, "need some help here." She reached out and took Vala's hand, noticing that the kooky alien was sweating and struggling to pull herself together. Daniel was already at his wife's side, having heard her call out from across the garden.

"Sorry," Vala whispered, "must be Braxton Hicks. It's been happening for a few days now. I'll be okay in a few minutes, I just need to... ah!" she cried out again, and looked aghast as warm fluid poured down her legs.

At that moment, Janet appeared at her side. "It's not Braxton Hicks, honey," she told Vala in a gentle voice. "Your waters just broke. This is the real thing. Your baby's decided he wants to join the party. That's not backache you've been having Vala, my guess is you've been in labor for the last couple of days. It's okay," she saw Vala's shocked expression. "You'll be okay, Vala, I swear. Both of you. All three of you. Daniel," she instructed Vala's husband, "you and Teal'c help her into the downstairs bedroom. Sam, call the mountain, tell them what's happened, tell them to send a wagon. Cassie, can you get my medical bag from the trunk of the car?"

Cassie nodded, and sprinted toward the car. Annie ran into the house, and took a pile of towels from the closet, spreading about half of them over the bed. By the time Daniel, assisted by Teal'c, got Vala into the bedroom, Janet was in there, and was already snapping on a pair of surgical gloves. Daniel helped Vala lie down on the bed.

"It's okay, Vala," Janet repeated. "I just need to take a good look, check how far along you are. Sam," she asked her lover who was hovering, "help Vala into one of your big shirts, and put a sheet over her knees."

"It's too early," Vala whispered fearfully.

"It's all going to be fine," Janet's tone was both professional and gentle. "Women have been doing this for thousands of years. And we in the medical profession have been getting the dates wrong for just as long." She took Vala's hand reassuringly. "Even if the dates are right, Vala," she said soothingly, "that's still plenty of time to bake a baby. Okay, let's take a look," she said.

Just a couple of moments later, Janet stood up. "Well, Vala, Daniel, it looks like your baby's gonna be born right here, and sooner rather than later.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

The ambulance arrived from the SGC within twenty minutes, but Janet instructed the crew that it was too late to move Vala until the baby was born. Janet banished everybody but Daniel and Sam from the room, and they all gathered in the living room just outside the door.

Less than an hour later, they heard a baby's cry, and just over five minutes after that, a grinning but shaken Sam emerged from the room. "They've got a boy," her voice cracked with emotion. "A beautiful baby boy," tears started to run down her cheeks. "He's a little small, but he's fine. He's perfect."

Cassie stepped forward, and took her parents in her arms, hugging her tightly.

Half an hour later, Vala was transferred to a gurney to take her and the baby to the hospital, "just to check everything," Janet said, though she reassured them all that everybody was "doing just fine".

A smiling Vala was wheeled through the living room, a beaming Daniel by her side. Daniel cradled a sleeping baby in his arms. "Hey everybody," his voice was quiet, "we want you to meet our son. Reuben George Jackson; named after my Dad and General Hammond, who would have been so proud today."

The happy family departed in the ambulance. Sam realized that Janet hadn't emerged from the bedroom, so quietly slipped into the room, while everybody hugged and celebrated the new arrival. Janet was standing by the window, looking out sightlessly into the garden. "Hey," Sam whispered.

Janet turned and looked at Sam; Sam saw the tears that tracked down Janet's face. "Hey," Janet said in reply.

"You did good," Sam said simply, taking Janet in her arms. "Real good."

"He's beautiful," Janet whispered.

"He is," Sam said. "'nother couple of months, that'll be us."

Janet looked up at her lover and smiled. She kissed Sam softly. "Yeah," she said, "it will, won't it?"

"You okay, baby?" Sam asked gently.

"Yeah," Janet said. "I am. That was just..."

"Emotional," Sam supplied.

"Yeah," Janet said again. "The miracle of life. I've seen it so many times, but every time it just seems so... miraculous," she smiled, knowing she wasn't making too much sense. "They'll be great parents," she added.

"So will we," Sam said.

"You already are," Cassie's voice came from across the room. "Sorry," she said, "didn't mean to intrude. That baby you're carrying," she gestured to Janet's belly, "doesn't know how lucky he is."

"Jan thinks he's gonna be a girl," Sam smiled.

"She might be right, huh?" Cassie said.

"Time will tell," Janet smiled. "Time will tell."


	51. Chapter 51 MOVING OUT

"Well that's the last of the boxes, I think," Sam looked worn out after emptying the truck and bringing in all Cassie and Anna's belongings to their apartment. She had refused to let Janet lift anything heavier than a bag of kitchen utensils, so she and Anna were busy unpacking in the kitchen, while Cassie unloaded boxes in the bedroom and living room.

"You okay sweetie?" Janet looked up from her position by the coffee machine.

"I'm great," Sam told her, "and I'll be even better once you've poured," she gestured toward the machine.

"Yeah, Mom," Cassie teased as she joined her parents, "I think we'll be needing four coffees altogether!"

"Well then it's a good thing Annie and I have been working in the most important room of the apartment then!" Janet smiled. "We've found coffee, milk and mugs. I've also found this," she pointed to a bag containing chopsticks and a pizza cutter. "Does this mean you two will be living on take-out from now on?"

Cassie laughed. "No Mom," she chanted, sounding like the impatient 15-year-old she had been not so long ago. "Annie's doing real well with cooking now, after your lessons."

"They don't have to stop, you know," Janet smiled, "just because you two have moved out. We're only just down the road. Any time you need to know anything, Annie, you know where we are."

Anna smiled back. "I think you two are gonna be kind of busy from now on," she gestured at Janet's swollen belly. "You won't have time for that."

Janet put her arms round her daughter-in-law, and kissed her on the cheek. "We'll always have time for you two," her voice was serious. "Always. Anyway," she grinned, "Sam'll be happy to babysit while we cook, won't you Sam?"

"Yup," Sam smiled happily. "I sure will. Especially if it means we get to see more of Annie and Cassie."

"We'll be there all the time Sam," Cassie said. "Especially after my little brother, or sister, is born. You'll soon wish we had moved further away!"

"Never," Sam said. "The more we see of you, the happier we will be."

Janet handed round the mugs of coffee. "Drink," she instructed. "And then Sam and I will get back home. Leave you two to settle in."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Be happy," Sam was surprised to find her voice cracking as she hugged Cassie and Anna tightly to her. "Remember we're close by if you need anything."

"Thanks Sam," Cassie said. "And Mom. For everything."

As Cassie and Anna waved goodbye, Anna reached for Cassie's hand and held it tightly. "Annie?" Cassie said. "Are you okay sweetheart?" she saw tears had gathered in her wife's eyes.

"Yeah," Anna sniffed. "Sorry, I'm just being dumb. It's just... I'm going to miss them. They've been so good to us. I was really happy living with them, you know? Everything has been so wonderful."

"I know," Cassie agreed. "But we'll see them all the time. And the baby."

"Yeah," Anna said. "We will, won't we?"

Cassie kissed her softly. "Everything's gonna be great Annie," she said.

"It already is," Anna said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"You coming to lunch, honey?" Sam stuck her head round Janet's office door a few weeks later. "You look all in."

Janet sat back in her chair and stretched, feeling the vertebrae in her back popping satisfactorily. "Yeah," she said tiredly. "It's been a busy morning. And it all means endless paperwork too," she sounded almost tearful.

"Jan?" Sam said gently, approaching her lover. She kissed her tenderly on the lips. "I think it's time."

"Time?" Janet asked.

"For you to start your maternity leave. You're exhausted baby. You need to relax, take it easy for a while. The baby'll be here in under five weeks. You need to take care of herself."

"Okay, hon," Janet said in a quiet voice. She looked up at the startled look on Sam's face. "What?" she asked with a smile. "You expected me to argue?"

Sam grinned. "I thought you might," she admitted. "I'm so pleased you agree."

"Tomorrow's Friday," Janet said. "I'll stop work after that. Gives me a day and a half to make sure everything's in order. I'll hand over to Dr Lam tomorrow. Okay sweetie?"

"That's great," Sam said. "We'll have a nice quiet weekend. I'm gonna talk to the general too," she continued, "ask him to keep me on Earth until after the baby's here. I couldn't bear to be away when he arrives," she caressed Janet's large bump. "Or she," she grinned, seeing Janet about to protest. "C'mon," she pulled Janet carefully to her feet. "There's mac'n cheese on the menu today."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"I'm gonna miss this place," Janet said, as she looked round the infirmary the following evening. "I don't know when, or even if, I'll be back. What happens if I don't want to leave the baby?" she looked up anxiously at Sam.

"Then you stay home," Sam said. "Whatever you're happiest with, then that's what we'll do. There's no hurry to make any decisions, Jan, we'll just wait and see how we feel once the baby's here."

"And what about you, Sam?" Janet asked her. "What happens if you get hurt offworld, and I'm not here to put you back together. What happens then?"

"Shh," Sam said gently, "it's all gonna be fine, baby. Warner, or Lam, or Michaels will be here. Anyway," she grinned, "I had a long talk with General O'Neill this morning. He's come up with a plan that should mean I don't get hurt offworld. Not for at least a year, anyway. It seems the President is giving greater priority to the Stargate program, and has budgeted for a huge cash injection. He knows that a lot of the technology we're using is dated now, and has agreed that we should upgrade all our systems. And Jack has asked me to head up the upgrade. It's gonna be huge Jan," Sam's eyes shone. "We're gonna completely rebuild the dialing computer, replace the capacitors that power the 'gate, totally replace the security and comms systems. We're even getting to design new MALPs, with built-in GDOs and everything."

"Wow," Janet said. "I wonder how Jack managed to persuade him?"

Sam smiled. "I think we've saved their asses enough times now, he's finally realizing that the program is vital to defend Earth. Isn't it great, Jan? It means that for the next year, I'll be Earth-based, most of the time anyway. I may have to make the occasional jump, but nothing dangerous, just to and from the Alpha and Beta sites and stuff like that. I'm gonna be a full-time geek!"

"That's great news," Janet looked relieved. "I hated the idea of you coming back after a mission, and me not being here to patch you up when you need it."

"Well it's not gonna happen now, baby," Sam kissed her gently. "C'mon, let's get you home. Warner's taking over, you've got everything prepared and organized. Time for you to take it easy, sweetie."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

The next morning, Janet woke first, and looked over at her sleeping lover. Sam looked so peaceful and content, a small smile curling at the edge of her mouth even in her sleep. Unable to resist, Janet leaned over and kissed her softly.

"Hey," Sam said, her voice still sleepy.

"Hey beautiful," Janet replied, brushing a strand of hair behind Sam's ear.

"You okay?" Sam asked her.

"Oh yeah," Janet smiled. "I'm great. I'll be glad when I no longer look like a whale, but I'm great."

Sam leaned up on her elbow. She reached out and tenderly ran her hand down Janet's soft cheek. "You look beautiful," she said, her voice serious.

Janet snorted.

"I'm serious," Sam said. "You look amazing. And hot. And you're carrying our baby. In here," she ran her hand over Janet's belly, "is a person. A whole person. Who I can't wait to meet. I've got to tell you Jan, you've never looked better."

Janet blushed. "Oh come on," she said, still sounding doubtful. "I'm the size of a house."

"That's crap and you know it," Sam said firmly. "You are so hot right now, with your hair mussed and your fabulous boobs." Her voice became husky. "I don't think I've ever wanted you more than I do right now," she kissed her, gently at first and becoming more passionate. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." She started to unbutton Janet's nightshirt. "And I'm gonna show you just how much I love you."

Janet swallowed. "Okay," she squeaked as Sam's hand found its target.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"God," Janet said breathlessly, over an hour later. "That just never gets old, does it?" she grinned wickedly at her blonde lover.

"You're not kidding," Sam grinned back at her. "God," she suddenly realized. "I'm really going to miss having you on the base every day. I know we didn't see that much of each other during the day, but I'm going to miss being able to head to the infirmary to check in. I'm even going to miss you coming to my lab to nag me to take a break."

"I'm still gonna be nagging," Janet said firmly. "Just from now on it'll be by 'phone. And don't forget honey," she kissed Sam softly, "I've got my spies at the base. They're all on my side you know, Daniel, Teal'c, Jack. Even Siler. They'll rat you out if you overdo it. You'll have no place to hide."

Sam groaned. "Well one thing's for sure," she said, "I won't be working late into the night. I'll be straight home to you as early as I can. And don't forget, the slightest twinge, you call me. You swear?"

"I swear Sam," Janet laughed. "I'm not having this baby without you. I couldn't bear it if you weren't there. I just couldn't."

"Well you won't have to Jan, nothing in this world, or any other world, could keep me from you. Undomesticated equines, as Teal'c would say, couldn't keep me away," Sam replied.

"That's settled then," Janet smiled.

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "It is."


	52. Chapter 52 SHOCK TREATMENT

"Carter!" Sam barked into the 'phone as she snatched it off her desk that Monday afternoon. She was in the middle of drawing up a list of the most urgent upgrades that were required at the SGC, together with projected budgets, and she hated budgets. She was a math genius, but quickly became impatient at compromising quality just to fit in with the arbitrary decisions made by the 'money men' who had no idea how important having the right equipment was. The wrong decision could risk the lives of the people at the mountain, and she would not be a party to such penny pinching. She couldn't wait until the bureaucracy was over and she could get down to some real work. So when the 'phone rang, she was already pissed, and a headache threatened.

"Bad morning?" Janet's disembodied voice asked.

Sam immediately softened. "Hey honey," she said tenderly. "It was, until you called. Everything's better now. Are you okay, Jan? It's not the baby, is it?" she started to get anxious.

Janet laughed quietly. "No, Sam, it's not the baby. I just got lonesome, is all. Wanted to hear your voice. Wondered how your day was going. Wanted to know if you've had any lunch yet."

Sam looked at her watch. "Shit," she said, "I thought it was about 1pm, I had no idea."

"Too busy having fun, huh?" Janet teased gently.

"I wish," Sam replied bitterly. "Paperwork. Budgets. I don't know how some people do this sort of thing, day in, day out. It would drive me crazy."

"Take a break, sweetie," Janet said. "Get some lunch, it's nearly 3pm. Why don't you get out of the mountain, just for ten minutes? Go to the surface, take some deep breaths, walk around for a little. You'll feel better."

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "I think I will. These numbers'll still be here when I get back. Thanks, hon, I'll go in a few minutes. How about you, Jan? How's your day going?"

"It's too quiet here," Janet said. "I don't like it here without you. If I didn't have the dogs to keep me company, I don't know what I'd do."

"You're not walking them?" Sam said anxiously. "You know that can bring on labor."

"No, sweetie," Janet smiled. "I'm not, I swear. Cassie and Annie are coming over at 5pm to give them a good run, as soon as they both get out of school. Annie says some fresh air before she starts marking schoolwork will do her good. Until then, they can just run about in the garden, can't you Albie?" Janet stroked the dog who had climbed into her ever-shrinking lap.

"That's great," Sam said. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to fuss, it's just..."

"Never apologize for caring," Janet admonished. "Now go," she said firmly. "Take a break. I'll see you later, whenever you can get back. Albie says hi," Janet added, and Sam could hear the dog slobbering at the other end.

"Janet!" Sam protested, "you didn't just let him lick the 'phone, did you?"

Janet laughed. "I'll wipe it, I swear. He just wanted to hear your voice, tell you he's missing you."

"Not as much as I'm missing you all," Sam said wistfully. "I'll try not to be late, Jan," she promised. "If I can just get this preliminary report finished, I should be out of here by 6.30pm, home 7pm latest. Assuming nothing goes wrong."

"I'll see you later, baby," Janet said tenderly.

"Not soon enough," Sam couldn't understand why she was feeling so emotional after only a day without Janet. "I love you."

"Right back at ya," Janet replied.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Cassie and Annie and the two dogs came barrelling back into the house at 6.30pm. "We're baaack!" Cassie called, a laugh in her voice. "And we even managed to keep Toby out of the water this time, didn't we Tobe?" she tousled the top of the excited dog's head.

"Stay for dinner?" Janet suggested.

"That would be great, Janet," Anna said, "but I really have to get back. I'm behind on my lesson planning, and I have a ton of marking to do too. But thank you. You're still coming to us tomorrow though, right?"

Janet smiled. "Oh yeah," she agreed, "Sam's been talking about your pot roast since the last time you made it here."

"We'll see you then, then. Well, Cass'll be here earlier, to give the dogs a run. But then you'll come to us about 7.30pm, assuming there are no intergalactic emergencies, that is?" Anna smiled at her mother-in-law.

"We'll be there," Janet agreed. "Thanks. And for doing the dogs. I know I could walk them myself, but I promised Sam I wouldn't."

"Better safe than sorry," Anna said. "Cass?" she called, "you ready?"

"Just coming," Cassie called, "just feeding 'the boys'. You know how anxious Albie gets if he doesn't get his dinner immediately after his walk." She kissed her wife tenderly on the cheek. "C'mon then," she said, "bye Mom," she gave her mother a gentle hug. "And call us. Any time you need anything. You swear?"

Janet laughed. "I will, I promise."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet looked at her watch. "Ten past seven," she said as Sam came through the door. "I'm impressed. I can't remember the last time you came home this early from work."

"That's because I missed you," she said, pulling Janet to her and kissing her thoroughly. "Whoah!" she said, as Albie shot along the hall like a bullet and cannoned into her. "Well hello to you too!" she laughed, bending down to greet him and Toby who had followed at a more sedate pace.

"They're just pleased to see you, honey," Janet smiled. "They're not used to me being home without you. Neither am I," she pulled Sam back into the embrace. "How was your day, Sam? Did you get the report finished?"

Sam pulled a face. "Yeah," she said. "The preliminary report, at least. Then it has to be submitted for approvals, _then_ I have to do a more detailed report before each part of the project, get each damned nut and bolt approved. Then, _finally_ I might be allowed to get some of the work done!"

"You look tired, Sam," Janet noted.

"Tired of paperwork," Sam grinned ruefully. "Give me a forest full of jaffa and a P90 any day!"

"Keep me company in the kitchen?" Janet asked, "dinner's nearly ready. I'll get you a drink."

"I'll help myself, sweetie," Sam said, "you don't have to do everything for me. Club soda for you?" she asked.

"Yeah," Janet said. "I'm counting the days until I can have a big glass of wine again."

"It won't be long," Sam said, placing her hand on Janet's bump. She grinned. "He's awake!" she said.

"Not kidding," Janet said, "_she's_ been jumping around all day."

Sam smiled, as she reached behind Janet to get glasses from the shelf behind Janet. "You know we could have found out the sex by now, if we'd really wanted to."

Janet grinned back. "I know anyway," she said. "I can just tell."

"Well, one of us is wrong," Sam laughed, as she poured their drinks. "Seriously, honey, how would you feel if it was a boy?"

"Truly?" Janet asked her. "I couldn't give a rat's ass!"

"Me neither," Sam smiled. "All I care about is that he, or she, has your eyes. You have the most beautiful eyes."

"Look who's talking!" Janet kissed her. "I think I fell for you the second I saw your baby blues. Sit," she pushed Sam gently into a chair, taking care not to spill her whisky. "Tell me all about your plans for the upgrades at the mountain."

"Ugh," Sam said, "I don't wanna talk about that, it's all paperwork at this stage. Except tomorrow," she smiled. "We _have_ to replace some of the electrical system tomorrow. Some jerk from the IOA's 'assessment team' spilt a cup of coffee on the one of the sockets in the MALP room, blew a whole section out. No-one was hurt, thank God, but one of the main power lines to the 'gate has had it. I rigged up a temporary replacement, but we have to put in a whole new section of wiring tomorrow, bypassing the MALP room so nobody can make that sort of mistake again."

"Can't Siler do that?" Janet asked. "Don't you have more important things to do?"

"Siler's gonna help me," Sam said. "But we need somebody who understands the whole circuitry in there. And none of the tech team really knows it as well as I do, so I'm gonna have to oversee it. I don't mind though," she said, "I'm happy to get away from bureaucracy for a day."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Shouldn't you be taking your tool belt?" Janet grinned as Sam stood up from breakfast to head toward the mountain. It was still only 6.30am, but Janet had insisted on cooking her breakfast. "I can always go back to bed afterward," she had reminded Sam. "And I want to make the most of you being here."

"Tool belt?" Sam asked.

"Since you're being an electrician for the day," Janet laughed. "You know how I get around blue-collar workers."

Sam smiled. "I'll wear it for you tonight when we get home, after dinner with the girls" she promised, kissing Janet passionately. "How does that sound?"

"Sounds great," Janet's breath caught, "as long as it's the only thing you'll be wearing."

Sam grinned.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"I know, Carter!" O'Neill held his hands up in surrender. "It'll just make your work harder, and slow you down. And you don't need some IOA dipshit spying on you. I know all that. I told the IOA all that. Slightly more tactfully," he grinned. "And they're not budging. It's just for this week, I swear. If they're not satisfied by Friday, I'll throw them all out of the mountain myself, with my bare hands if I have to."

Sam grimaced. "I'm sorry, Sir, I know none of this is your idea. It just seems crazy to me. But if we have to do it, we have to do it. When does he arrive?"

"_They_ Carter, they," he grumbled. "Three of 'em. Here already, waiting in the commissary. Your dweeb wanted to meet you in your lab, I told him to keep the hell away and to wait in the commissary. As long as you don't let him bring his coffee with him, that's all I ask."

"He's the one that spilt and caused all the problems?" Sam was astounded. "And they still think he's fit to supervise _me_?"

"I know, it's crazy," he said. "I'm so sorry Carter."

Sam smiled at him. "I've dealt with worse," she reassured him. "It'll be fine. Janet wanted me to ask you and the rest of the guys over for dinner some time. How about you all come this weekend, to celebrate the IOA leaving?"

"That's a date!" O'Neill said. "I'll bring beer."

"I'd be disappointed if you didn't," Sam smiled.

"And Carter?" O'Neill added.

"Sir?"

"Tell him _every single_ detail of what you're doing. My guess is that he'll out outta there in less than an hour," O'Neill advised, a grin on his face.

"Are you suggesting my explanations are boring, Sir?" Sam asked, trying to look hurt but unable to suppress a smile.

"Never!" he protested. "Just sometimes they can be very... detailed. Yes, that's it. Detailed. Very, very detailed."

"I'll do what I can Sir," Sam said, and winked as she left his office.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Pull the breaker," Sam reminded Siler as they began dismantling the complicated wiring system. "We don't want any accidents, do we?" she grinned at the accident-prone sergeant, who smiled back as he pulled the lever that cut off the electrical supply to the section they were working on.

"Now just why did you do that?" asked Colin Tapley, the pompous IOA official asked.

Sam couldn't believe her ears. Was the guy retarded?

"We're cutting off the electricity supply," she explained patiently. "So that there's no risk of electrocution while we work on this section. It's the only safe way," she said firmly and slightly less patiently as she saw the dubious look on his face. "This way," she said, "we can touch the wires, use tools, make adjustments, all without getting hurt. Sergeant Siler here is just itching to get his wrench round that joint!" she pointed at the relevant part and smiled, trying to inject a little bit of humor into the situation.

Tapley nodded wisely, though Sam doubted he'd even understood, despite her very clear explanation.

Two hours later, they had stripped away the whole damaged section, and had begun replacing it, when O'Neill stuck his head round the corner. "Hey Carter," he said, "Siler. How're you getting along?"

"Just fine, Sir," Sam told him. "Sergeant Siler's just putting in a new junction," she motioned to where Siler was crouching, his ubiquitous wrench in hand.

"Tapley!" O'Neill barked, "I need you in my office. The other dw... I mean, your colleagues, want to see you. Something about a report."

Tapley nodded pompously, and arose from the desk where he had apparently been concentrating closely on paperwork. Sam knew better, she had sneaked a surreptitious look, and saw him struggling with a crossword. Most of the clues remained unanswered, too.

"Okay," he said, and stepped toward the door. He had failed to notice his shoelace had become untied and suddenly stumbled. He reached out to steady himself, and Sam couldn't believe her eyes as she saw him reach out to the wall where he inadvertently grasped the lever of the breaker that they had so carefully pulled before starting work.

"No!" she screamed, but it was too late to stop him. "Sergeant!" she yelled, but knew there was no time. She launched herself at the hapless sergeant who was still holding his wrench, and tackled him to the ground, getting him away from the metal tool just a nanosecond before the electricity coursed through the wiring and arced viciously from the wrench. Siler landed awkwardly against the wall, bruised but otherwise unhurt.

Sam was not so lucky. O'Neill watched in horror as the current visibly arced from the wrench and surged across the room, catching Sam directly on the arm and then deflecting off her face and head. The smell of singed hair was overwhelming. "Carter!" O'Neill yelled, as he leapt across the room, first slamming the breaker off again, and then rushing to the side of his prone 2IC, who was slammed up against the wall at an awkward angle. "Get a medical team!" he shouted at Tapley. "NOW! Before I tear you a new one." Tapley left the room at a run.

"Carter?" O'Neill asked, as he gently pulled Sam into his arms, so that her neck was at a less vicious angle.

"M'okay," Sam mumbled in a weak voice, without opening her eyes. "Flesh wound," she croaked. "Siler?"

"Right here, ma'am," Siler replied. "Thanks to you."

O'Neill could feel Sam starting to shake, as the shock took over. "You'll be fine, Carter. A med team is on its way, they'll fix you right up."

"Don't feel so good," Sam slurred, struggling to open her eyes. She spotted a large clump of her hair on the floor next to her.

"Yeah," O'Neill said gently, "looks like you got an impromptu haircut. Where does it hurt, Sam?" his voice was tender.

"Arm," Sam's voice was almost inaudible. "Head."

O'Neill carefully felt round the back of her head. As well as the badly singed hair, he felt a huge egg on the back of her skull. "You'll be fine," he said again. He noticed her eyelids closing, and squeezed her unhurt hand gently. "Stay with me Sam," he implored. "No sleeping," but Sam's head lolled back as unconsciousness claimed her. "Where's that damned med team?" his voice was urgent.

At that moment, Dr Lam came running in, with two nurses and a gurney. In minutes, she had checked Sam and motioned to her team to load her onto the gurney. She turned to O'Neill. "It's a real bad burn," she said, keeping her voice calm, "and one hell of a concussion. But I don't think it's any worse than that. How did this happen?"

O'Neill's face was like thunder. "It happened," he spat, "because the damned IOA sent an incompetent, dangerous asshole to 'oversee' the best damned officer I've ever worked with and he nearly killed both Carter and Siler. Electrocution," he gestured at the singed wiring.

Lam reached over and touched his hand. "She'll be fine," she told him, "in a few weeks. I've got to get her to the infirmary," she said.

"I'm coming," O'Neill said firmly, and Lam nodded; she was already manoeuvring the gurney out of the room and along the corridor.

In the elevator, Lam turned to O'Neill. "I think this is going to need a skin graft," she said, examining Sam's arm as they traveled the eight floors to the infirmary. "But we can't operate until the concussion wears off. I recommend we stabilize her and get her moved to the Academy hospital. The plastic surgeon there is one of the best there is."

O'Neill nodded. "How long?" he asked.

"Assuming there's no brain damage, and I'll give her an MRI now, it should be safe to give her an anesthetic after eight hours. She's gonna feel pretty rough. We should probably call Janet, she'd want to be here."

"Of course," O'Neill realized. "I'll call Cassie first, she can tell her in person. Carter would wring my neck if I gave her such a shock when she's alone."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Cassie!" Janet exclaimed as she looked up to see her daughter coming through the door. "What a nice surprise!" She then saw the serious look on Cassie's face. "Oh God," her blood ran cold. "No. Please. No."

Cassie rushed up to her mother, and embraced her tightly. "No," she said firmly. "She's okay. I swear. Well, she will be. She's banged up, but she's not in any danger. Truly, Mom," she pulled back and looked into Janet's eyes. "She's gonna be just fine."

Janet started to cry. "Oh God," she said again. "I thought... I thought. I thought you were coming..."

"No Mom," Cassie said. "It's nothing like that. But we should go, be with her. Annie's gonna meet us there. Are you okay?" she looked at her mother's pale face.

"Yeah," Janet sniffed. "As long as Sam's gonna be alright. What happened?"

Cassie related the sequence of events to her.

"We should go," Janet said. "Now."

"Just wait a moment while I pack a bag for you Mom," Cassie said gently. "I'll be down in less than two minutes," she was already heading for the stairs. "You sit. You might be there for a couple days, I don't know how long it'll be. I'll pack some pajamas for Sam too, I know how she hates those hospital gowns."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

As Cassie drew into the parking lot at the Academy hospital, she spotted Anna waiting there for her.

"I got a cab," Anna explained, as Cassie opened the door, "I got here ten minutes ago. How are you Janet?" she looked over at her mother-in-law, who appeared unfeasibly tense.

Janet just nodded, her mind clearly with Sam. Anna went to the other side of the car, and opened the door, helping Janet out. She took her hand as they headed toward the side entrance to the hospital. Janet squeezed it, and looked up pitifully at Anna. "She's fine," Anna reassured. "I asked one of the nurses. She's conscious and asking for you apparently."

As they made their way down the corridor, Carolyn Lam approached them. "No brain damage," she immediately said to Janet. "Concussion, and she's gonna need a skin graft."

"Wharton?" Janet asked, referring to the hospital's plastic surgeon.

"Already called him," Lam replied in a gentle tone. "He'll be here any minute. As soon as the eight hours is up, he'll be ready to operate. She's awake," she gestured to the door. "She'll be so happy to see you."

"You go," Cassie said to her mother. "We'll be right outside. Tell Sam we love her."

Janet opened the door quietly, noticing that the lights in the room were dimmed. She approached Sam's bed, and tried not to gasp when she saw the livid burn on her lover's arm. Sam's eyes fluttered open, but she almost immediately shut them, even the dim lights causing her pain. "Jan," Sam croaked. "You're here."

"Of course I'm here, baby," Janet's voice was quiet and tender. She took up Sam's hand from the uninjured arm. "Feeling rough, huh?"

"Yeah," Sam replied in a shaky voice, attempting to turn and look at Janet, but wincing once more at the light.

"Keep them shut, honey," Janet said softly. "And don't try to talk. Just let me know if you need anything. I'm gonna be right here. They'll fix that burn soon," she said. "And you'll get some pain relief too. I know it's awful right now, baby, but they can't give you anything yet because of the concussion."

"I know," Sam whispered. "Feel awful. Nauseous."

"You need to throw up?" Janet asked.

"Don't think so," Sam said weakly. "Tired."

"Try and sleep, Sam," Janet said. "We'll have to wake you every half hour, just to check things. You know the drill."

"Stay?" Sam asked.

"I'll be here the whole time," Janet reassured her, "and the girls are outside too, they send their love."

"So sorry," Sam said, already half asleep.

Janet kissed her softly on the lips. "Not your fault, baby," she said tenderly. "Sleep now," she sat in the chair next to the bed, keeping a tight hold of Sam's hand. She caressed it gently as Sam's breathing evened out.

One fat tear escaped and rolled down Janet's face unchecked. "Thank God you're gonna be okay," she whispered to her sleeping lover. "I don't think I could live without you. I pray I never have to."


	53. Chapter 53 BY HER SIDE

Janet sat by Sam's bedside as she slept, never letting go of her hand. She woke her every half hour to check on her, and her heart bled when her lover awoke disoriented and in pain. She wished that she could leave her to sleep, but knew that it was dangerous to do that, so she steeled herself. But she hated doing it.

After she had been with Sam for nearly an hour, there was a very light tap on the door, and Cassie stuck her head round. "Mom?" she whispered.

"She'll be okay Cass," Janet also kept her voice low. "Once she's had the graft, she'll be fine in a few weeks."

Cassie approached the bed. "Oh my God," she said when she saw the sleeping Sam. Her hair."

"Yeah," Janet replied in a whisper. "She's gonna need a proper haircut when she gets out. Looks like you're gonna have short hair again for a while, baby," she said to the sleeping Sam. She gently reached out and touched Sam's singed locks.

"How is she otherwise, Mom?" Cassie asked.

"Her arm is very badly burned," Janet said sadly. "And, as you can see," she gestured toward her lover, "she's gonna have a hell of a black eye, and she'll probably need stitches on her face. Wharton can do that while she's out having the graft. He's a good plastic surgeon, Cass, it shouldn't show on her face once it's healed. And of course she's got a nasty concussion, but she'll get over that. Again. You gotta stop doing this, Sam," she turned again to her lover. "Even a cat has only nine lives."

Cassie squeezed her shoulder. "I'll leave you with her. We'll be just the other side of the door if you need us."

Janet shook her head. "It's real uncomfortable out there," she insisted. "Here," she passed her the key for her and Sam's quarters. "Make yourselves at home in our quarters. Or get something to eat in the commissary. I'll find you if I need you."

Cassie kissed her on the cheek. "I love you Mom," she said simply. "Both of you." And she let herself out of the room, after looking lovingly at her sleeping parent.

Anna approached her wife, and took her hand. "How're they doing?" she asked.

Cassie looked up, trying not to cry. "They're okay. Both of them," she said. "Poor Sam, she looks awful. And she lost half of her hair. If it had just been a few inches closer... it doesn't bear thinking about."

"Then don't think, sweetheart," Anna said gently. "Just remember that she's okay."

"This time," Cassie said glumly. "I don't know how Mom copes, Sam's always getting banged up."

"I asked her that once," Anna said. "It made her cry. I felt so bad for asking. But she said she didn't mind. She told me that she loves Sam so much that it's worth it. She said there's nobody in this world who could equal Sam, and if this is what she has to go through to be with her, then she'll cope, even if sometimes it seems unbearable. She said Sam has really turned around since they've been together, and does the best she can not to get hurt, and tries not to do anything rash. But they've both had to accept that sometimes Sam has to risk her life, for the sake of the planet. I don't know how they do it, Cass," she kissed her wife softly. "I'm so grateful you don't do a job like Sam's."

"Ditto," Cassie said tearfully. "Hold me, Annie?" she looked up pleadingly at her wife.

Anna wrapped her long arms round Cassie, and held her tight. "It's okay," she whispered. "We're all okay."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Hey, sweetie," Janet said in a soft voice as Sam awoke. "They'll be taking you down for the graft in half an hour. How are you holding up?"

Sam blinked blearily, trying to focus. "M'okay," she said indistinctly.

"It's nearly over, baby," Janet told her, "soon you'll be feeling much better. Once the anesthetic wears off, that is," she grimaced, knowing that Sam always reacted badly to anesthesia. "Then I can take you home and care for you there."

"I should be caring for you," Sam sounded tearful. "Are you okay, baby?"

"I am now," Janet said firmly. "We both are," she took Sam's hand and pressed it to her belly. "And you will be soon too."

"Jan, I'm so sorry," Sam's voice was harsh. "I really didn't mean for this to happen. Especially not so soon before the baby comes," she struggled not to cry.

"Not your fault, Sam," Janet's voice was tender. "And you were real brave. Siler tells me you saved his life."

Sam shook her head. "Only did what anybody would have done. That dweeb Tapley nearly killed him. Shit, what about the MALP room? Is anybody...?" she struggled and tried to sit up.

Janet put a gentle hand on her uninjured shoulder. "Don't even think about it," she said firmly. "It's all in hand. So's Tapley," she grinned evilly. "Jack gave him hell. Then he made a call to the IOA, and gave them hell too. But," her grin widened, "best of all, somehow Teal'c 'accidentally' opened a door in Tapley's face as he was being escorted from the base. Broken nose, two black eyes. And he's gonna need a good dentist if he's planning to save his front teeth."

Sam tried not to wince as she smiled. "S'good," her voice was weak.

"Just rest," Janet said to her, as she pushed Sam's hair out of her eyes. "The nurse'll be here soon to take you down."

"Is there a mirror?" Sam asked. She reached up and felt her head. "I think something happened to my hair."

Janet cupped her cheek. "I don't think you're gonna want to look at it, baby," she said. "You lost a big chunk. But you're okay."

Sam smiled ruefully. "I was thinkin' about going short again," she lied.

Janet caressed the back of her hand. "Looks like the decision's been made for you then."

"Will you cut it for me? After the operation?" Sam asked. "I don't want to be stared at when I leave here."

"Of course I will baby," Janet said. "I'll do a basic cut, and then when you're feeling better, we'll go to the salon, okay?"

Sam nodded. "I feel lousy," she suddenly said.

"I know you do," Janet said. "And I'm so sorry. It won't be for too much longer."

"Hold me?" Sam asked tearfully. "Just for a bit?"

Janet slid her arm beneath Sam, being very careful not to touch her damaged arm. She pulled her lover to her, and cradled her as best she could, not easy as she had to be careful of Sam's injuries and was also hampered by her own large bump. Sam nestled into Janet's front. Janet ran her hand down her cheek, and kissed her very softly on the mouth. "I love you so much, sweetie," Janet whispered.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

An hour later, Cassie joined her mother in the observation room, and immediately noticed Janet's tense posture. "How is it going?" she asked, putting her arm round her mother.

"Fine, I think," Janet's voice was clipped. "Can't see everything. Her vitals look good," she nodded to the screen.

"And how are you Mom?" Cassie asked.

Janet looked up at her daughter, her face pale and drawn. "I'll be okay, once Sam's back in my arms."

"It won't be long, Mom," Cassie reassured. She really wanted Janet to try and catch some sleep. She knew that Sam would likely be sick as a dog after the operation, and that Janet wouldn't leave her side. But she could tell trying to get her to lie down now while Sam was under the knife would have no effect. "Mom?" Cassie started tentatively.

Janet looked at her.

"You'll let me help, once Sam comes to, right? I know you'll want to be there, and I won't ask you to keep away," Cassie said, noting the look of relief on Janet's face. "But I suggest a compromise. We'll get a second bed put in her room, so you sleep when she does? I'll be by her side the whole time you sleep, I swear."

"Okay," Janet's voice was tiny.

"Thanks Mom," Cassie hugged her.

"Where's Annie?" Janet noticed that Cassie was on her own.

"She just went back, to see to the dogs," Cassie told her. "She'll be back in a couple of hours. I told her to stay home, but she won't, she wants to be here. She said that she wants to be with her family when they're hurting."

Janet smiled affectionately. "Thank you," she said, squeezing Cassie's fingers. Both of you."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"It went well," Rick Wharton, the plastic surgeon told Janet. "She's going to be just fine. It'll take a couple of weeks for her arm to 'take' to the new skin, but it went real well. And I've put in six tiny stitches on her face and I'm hoping that'll heal with no scar. I was very careful, didn't want to mark that pretty face." He smiled at Janet, who was one of his favorite occasional colleagues.

Janet smiled. "I know you were careful," she said, impulsively kissing him on the cheek.

"Well, I could see you were watching," he smiled, "couldn't risk cutting any corners!" he joked.

"Thank you," Janet said, seriously.

"Any time," Wharton replied. "Though I hope it won't be necessary for a while at least."

"Oh God yes," Janet said, relief making her light-headed. "From your mouth to God's ears."


	54. Chapter 54 HAIR

Sam came too slowly, feeling as though a herd of elephants were stampeding through her head. Her stomach roiled viciously and she was grateful as unseen hands rolled her swiftly to her side and held a bowl under her chin as she retched violently.

Sam knew without even having to look that the hands she hadn't yet seen belonged to Janet. Janet's hands stroked her forehead gently, applying a cool washcloth to her overheated skin. The same hands rolled her back onto her back, and stroked her tenderly on the cheek. One of the hands took up one of her own and held it lovingly. She couldn't work out what was happening with her other hand, her other arm. It seemed to be tied down somehow. She grunted and tried to move it; white hot pain lanced through her and she cried out.

Another of those hands applied oh-so-gentle pressure on her shoulder. "Try not to move," a voice said quietly. Janet's voice. Sam was sure now. "5 milligrams," she heard the voice again, but this time Janet wasn't talking to her. The pain lessened, and she started feeling hazy again, and knew she was about to fall to sleep. She felt Janet's lips on her forehead. "Sleep, baby," the voice came again. Sam obeyed.

Over the next four hours, whenever Sam awoke Janet was there, holding the basin, rubbing her back, whispering reassurances. It was midnight, and the fifth time that Sam woke that she started to feel less confused and vulnerable. She risked opening her eyes, and whimpered involuntarily, even though the lights were dim.

"Hey," Janet said softly, her warm chocolate eyes looking at her tenderly. "Feeling better?"

"bit," Sam croaked. "Water?"

"Just ice chips for now, baby," Janet spooned a few into her mouth. "Soon, I swear."

"You okay?" Sam couldn't understand why her voice was so weak.

"Am _I_ okay?" Janet asked. "Yes, sweetie, of course I am. It's you that's been through the wars. Sleep a bit more if you can, Sam."

"What about you?" Sam asked. She reached out shakily and touched Janet's cheek with her unimpeded arm. "You look all-in Jan."

"She's gonna sleep now, aren't you Mom?" Sam heard Cassie's voice.

"Cass?" she asked.

"Hi Sam," Cassie approached the bed, and kissed her other mother on the cheek. "You're looking better."

Sam tried to smile, wincing as the bruising on her face made itself known. "Tell your Mom to get some sleep," she said to Cassie.

"She will," Cassie said firmly, and gestured toward the second bed in the room. "Mom promised me that she'd sleep when you did, once the worst was over. I'll be here if you need anything, Sam."

"No need," Sam said. "I'm fine Cass."

"Whatever," Cassie said, dismissively, reminding Janet of the girl's teenage years. "I'm stayin', so you might as well get used to it. But you have to sleep, or Mom won't lie down."

"'kay," Sam said, and shut her eyes and tried to even out her breathing.

"Very convincing, Sam," Janet said with a smile. "I'm just gonna sit here for a few minutes. Once you really are asleep, I swear I'll go to bed."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG **

The next time Sam awoke, she felt a different hand holding hers. "Cass?" she whispered.

"Are you okay, Sam?" Cassie asked. "D'you want me to get Mom?"

Sam shook her head. "Let her sleep," she said. "Jus' want you to tell me the truth. Is she okay, really?"

Cassie squeezed her fingers. "She really is, Sam, I swear. She's tired, sure, but she's fine. Lam gave her a quick check-up, blood pressure, all that. And she's okay. They're _both_ okay."

Sam's eyes shut again. "Good," she said, "that's real good."

"You want some water?" Cassie asked. "Mom said you could have some next time you woke up."

"Oh God yes," Sam's eyes opened again.

Cassie lifted her carefully so that she could drink from the cup she proffered. "Not too much," she said. "Mom said just half a cup to start with. You can have more soon."

Sam nodded as Cassie helped her to lie down again. "You're a good kid," Sam said. "Where's Annie?"

"She's in your quarters, sleeping," Cassie told her. "She's fine. I told her to go home, but she wouldn't, she wanted to be near."

Sam nodded, her eyes closing again.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG **

"How long do I have to have this damned thing strapped to me?" Sam grumbled, two days after her operation.

"Just until tomorrow, Colonel," Carolyn Lam told her. "And then I'll change it to an ordinary sling."

Sam huffed.

"And before you ask," Lam smiled, "tonight."

"Huh?" Sam asked.

"I'll let you out of here tonight, assuming all goes well today. I'll release you to your quarters for two more days, as long as Janet is with you. After that, if you behave yourself, you can go home."

Sam grinned. "Sorry, it's nothing personal. It's just..."

"You hate being trapped in the infirmary?" Lam supplied, a grin on her face.

"Yeah," Sam admitted. "Don't think I'm ungrateful, though. Jan!" she smiled widely as her very pregnant lover appeared at the doorway.

"Hey, baby," Janet smiled back at her. "How's she doing Carolyn?" she asked Dr Lam.

"She's starting to get antsy," Lam told her, "which is always a good sign. Are you going to be around for the next day or two, Janet? If you are, I'll release Sam to your care in your quarters until the end of Thursday. Then you can both go home."

"I'm not leaving the mountain until Sam does," Janet said firmly.

"That's settled then," Lam said, and with a small wave left Sam's room.

Janet approached the bed, and kissed Sam thoroughly.

"Well hello," Sam said with a smile. "Now _that's_ what I call a welcome."

"I missed you," Janet said.

"You've only been gone a couple of hours," Sam said. She grinned at Janet. "I know," she said. "I missed you too."

"The baby missed you too," Janet pulled Sam's hand to her belly.

Sam smiled widely. "He's awake," she said delightedly, as she felt the baby moving around energetically.

"Just wanted to say 'hi' to you Sam," Janet smiled. "She wants you to know how glad she is you're okay."

"I'm so sorry, Jan," Sam said.

Janet took her free hand in both of hers. "I've already told you Sam," she looked deep into her eyes. "It wasn't your fault. You saved Siler's life, you realize that? In fact, wait there," she instructed, and disappeared from Sam's room, returning less than a minute later with the biggest bouquet of flowers Sam had ever seen.

"They're from Siler and his wife Julia," Janet said. "And there's a card, too."

"Can you open it for me?" Sam asked, gesturing to her strapped arm.

Janet opened the card and passed it to Sam.

_Dear Colonel Carter, _

_There aren't enough words for me to convey how grateful I am to you for what you did. I know Sylvester's always hurting himself, God knows I'm used to him coming home banged up. But this was different, and if it hadn't been for your bravery I hate to think what would have happened. _

_I'm so sorry that you were hurt, and I do hope you are fully recovered real soon. Sylvester tells me that you and Dr Fraiser are expecting a baby. I hope one day that baby realizes how lucky he or she is to have you both as parents. _

_My gratitude to you always. _

_Julia Siler_

Sam's eyes filled with tears, and she wordlessly passed the card to Janet. Janet read it and was similarly moved. She kissed Sam tenderly. "I'm so proud of you, sweetie," she told her. She pulled herself together. "You still want me to cut your hair, Sam?" Janet asked.

Sam plucked ruefully at her damaged locks. "Yeah, can you honey? It's okay here, in the infirmary, but I'll feel real stupid, walking around the base like this."

"Sure, Sam," Janet replied. "How about I just even things up, and then we can take you to the salon when you're out of here? I'm not the world's best with a pair of scissors, I can only do basic styles."

"You'll be fine," Sam reassured her. "It can't look any worse than it does now. Okay, just stop me looking ridiculous, and I'll have it cut at the salon soon. I was thinking," she said, "I might go real short again. It was easy to look after."

"Whatever you want, baby," Janet said, fingering her hair sadly. "You'll always look beautiful, however you have your hair."

"I'm sorry, Jan," Sam said. "I know you liked it long. I can grow it again some time."

"I don't care about your hair, Sam," Janet's voice hitched. "I was just thinking ... how close it came to..."

Sam took her hand. "It didn't, Jan," she said. "I'm fine. Anyway," she tried to distract Janet with humor, "think how much I'm gonna save on shampoo."

"Kiss me," Janet said, in a small voice. So Sam did.


	55. Chapter 55 ADVENT

"God it's good to be out of the infirmary," Sam smiled as she followed Janet through the door of their quarters at the SGC. "Just you and me, no more pokings and proddings. I've missed you Jan."

"I've been there the whole time," Janet smiled.

"Yeah, I know, but it's not the same. Too many others around. I want you to myself," she put her arms round Janet, and held tight. "How are _you_ doing, baby?" Sam asked. "Are you feeling okay? You should be on maternity leave right now."

"I'm great, Sam," Janet replied, kissing her gently. "Especially now I know you're going to be okay. I can't wait to be a normal size again, though," she grimaced.

"Uncomfortable?" Sam asked, solicitously.

"A bit," Janet admitted. "Everybody says the last few weeks drive you crazy, turns out they were right."

"You're feeling okay, though, right?" Sam sounded concerned.

"Totally," Janet reassured. "I swear."

Sam reached out with her uninjured arm and kneaded Janet's back gently. "How about a one-handed massage later?" she offered. "I'm getting pretty good at doing things with just one hand."

"No, baby, you don't need to do that," Janet said. "You should be relaxing, you're the injured one here."

"I'm fine now, Jan. All better," Sam grinned, knowing that wasn't exactly true. "Anyway, I know I don't _need_ to give you a massage," she added, "but I'm going to. Okay?" she smiled at her lover.

"Okay," Janet agreed. "I'll look forward to it. Just so long as you're careful, I don't want you hurting yourself."

"I won't, Jan, I swear," Sam promised.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"This isn't working, is it?" Sam said ruefully as she and Janet tried to get comfortable that night.

"Swap sides," Janet instructed.

"Swap sides?" Sam queried.

"Yeah," Janet said. "That way, you can still lie on your side, but I'll also be able to see your face. To touch you," she said bashfully. "If you lie on the other side, you'll have to turn away from me."

Sam reached over and cupped Janet's cheek, kissing her softly. "Well I'm never gonna turn away from you, baby," she said, and shifted over to the other side of the bed. She lay down carefully, and turned on her side gingerly to face Janet. "It worked," she said with a smile.

"Good," Janet stifled a yawn. "Now to sleep," she said. "We're both too tired for anything else."

Sam nodded her reluctant agreement. "Sleep well, Jan," she said, and stroked Janet's face.

"You too, baby," Janet replied, reaching up and grasping Sam's hand, bringing it to her lips and kissing it. She kept hold of it, and pulled it to her own full breast, molding it round the firm globe. "S'that okay?" she asked Sam.

"Oh yeah," Sam said with feeling. "That's more than okay honey."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"I can't believe it's only two weeks since the accident," Janet smiled as she checked Sam's bandages. "You're healing real fast honey."

Sam grinned. "That's because I need to be back up to full strength before this one," she caressed Janet's bump, "makes his appearance. Two weeks to go Jan, it's incredible." She frowned slightly then.

"What is it, Sam?" Janet asked.

"I don't wanna go back to work, not without you there," Sam admitted. "Suppose something happens?"

Janet took her face between both of her hands and kissed her soundly. "Nothing's gonna happen, baby," she reassured her. "It's still two weeks to go. This baby's not ready to show her face yet. And if anything were to happen, you're only 20 minutes away. Cass and Annie are real close, and they're both on vacation from school. And I can always get a cab. Or an ambulance. Or get an airman to come get me. Vala's only five minutes' away. We have backups, Sam. Lots of them. And anyway," she grinned, _somebody_ in this house has to bring the bacon home."

Sam laughed. All the years of hazardous pay, as well as good investments, meant that money was not a concern for them, but she appreciated Janet's use of humor to lighten the atmosphere. "I'm goin'," she mock-grumbled. "But the slightest twinge..."

"... and I'll call you. I swear," Janet laughed, pushing her lover out of the door. "Now get to work woman. And Sam," she looked up at Sam.

"What?" Sam asked.

"I love you," Janet said simply.

Sam turned back and took Janet in her arms. "Right back at ya," she said quietly, and kissed her softly. "Both of you."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"How are you feeling this morning?" Sam asked Janet, cautiously.

"Pissed," Janet returned shortly. "This damned baby should be here by now. It should have been here six days ago."

Sam reached across the bed, putting a gentle hand on Janet's shoulder. Janet shook it off grumpily. Sam flinched as though she had been slapped. Janet turned and caught the look of anguish on Sam's face in the split second before she managed to school her features to a neutral expression. "Oh Sam," Janet's heart broke. "I'm sorry, honey," she reached out and grasped Sam's hand. "I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry," and to Sam's horror, Janet started to cry.

"Jan!" Sam cried, pulling Janet to her. "Sweetie, what is it? Are you sick? Is it the baby?"

Janet shook her head, and buried her face in Sam's shoulder. "I'm sorry Sam," she said through her tears. "Oh God, I love you so much. I'm so sorry. I'm just tired, and sore, and uncomfortable. I just want this to be over now. I'm just fed up with feeling like a whale, with having backache and indigestion and heartburn and insomnia."

Sam rocked her lover gently, rubbing her back comfortingly. "Shh," she said. "I know you're pissed baby. It won't be too much longer, it can't be."

"I know," Janet's words sounded muffled but still miserable. "At least we can be sure about our dates," she said.

"Yeah," Sam smiled ruefully. "That's one thing we can be sure of. How about I run the tub for you Jan?"

"That'd be nice," Janet said, not loosening her hold on Sam. "Soon. Just hold me for a bit first, huh?"

"For as long as you want," Sam said. "C'mon, let's lie down again awhile. You let me know when you want the tub. Until then, just try and relax. Sleep, if you think you can. I'll be here, I won't let you go. Not for a moment." She felt some of the tension leave Janet's body as they both lay down.

Sam put her arm round Janet, pulling her close."It's all gonna be okay, Janet," she whispered, cradling her lover like a small child. "We'll make it okay."

Within minutes Janet was asleep, whimpering slightly with pleasure even as she dozed. Sam stayed awake, and gazed lovingly at Janet's face. "I'm so sorry you've had such a tough time, sweetie," Sam whispered, not loud enough for Janet to hear. "I just hope it's all going to be worth it."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"Sam, it's okay, you don't need to panic!" Janet tried to stifle a laugh. "I just said we should probably get to the mountain sooner rather than later. The contractions are still 40 minutes apart, this baby's not going to get here in a hurry."

Sam was white with fear. She couldn't remember when she had last felt that afraid. Never, she decided. Even staring down Apophis had nothing on this. This time it was Janet who was at risk, at least that was how she saw it. She'd rather face endless Goa'ulds, or Wraiths, or Ori, than see Janet go through pain. And she knew pain was inevitable, it was just how much there would be that still remained in question.

Sam sat next to Janet on the bed. "Car's all packed," she said unnecessarily. Janet knew the car had been packed for the last six weeks. "I'll just get your coat."

"No," Janet reached out for her hand. "Let's go after the next contraction. If possible, I'd like to avoid having contractions in the car. If we time this properly, and leave directly after the next one, that should mean I'll have been in the infirmary 15 minutes before the next one."

"Good idea," Sam said. "So when's the next one due, 10 minutes?"

Janet looked at her watch. "Nearer 12, I'd guess. It's not an exact science, honey." She looked up and smiled at her lover, running her hand down her soft cheek. "It's okay, baby," she reassured her, "this is something that's been happening for thousands of years. Longer. It's all good, hon," she said.

Sam smiled, and put her arm round Janet's shoulders. "Sorry, sweetie," she grinned, embarrassed at her lack of cool. "Want me to give you a back rub, while we wait?" and she climbed behind Janet on the bed, using her talented hands to knead and massage in all the right places. Just over ten minutes later, she felt Janet lean over slightly, her muscles tensing. "Jan?" she asked. Janet just nodded, and reached out for her hand. With her other hand, Sam kept up a steady rhythm, rubbing circles on Janet's back.

"Oh God," Janet gasped, sweat beading on her brow. "That was a strong one."

"Think you can walk?" Sam asked.

"In a minute," Janet said.

Sam jumped off the bed and grabbed Janet's coat, hanging it round her shoulders. She kissed her tenderly.

"Okay," Janet said a couple of minutes later, rising from the bed, and feeling for Sam's hand. "Let's go."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"It's been nearly 23 hours," Sam followed Carolyn Lam behind the partition. "She's exhausted," she looked back over at her lover, who was being comforted by Cassie, who had insisted on coming to the mountain as soon as she heard her mother was in labor.

"I know," Lam said in a low voice. "But she's okay, so far. It's slow, I know, but everything that should be happening, is happening. Just slowly. We'll give it another..." she looked at her watch, "another two hours, and if there's no more progress, we might have to consider a C-section. But her vitals are good, and the baby's okay so far. We're monitoring everything, Sam," she put her hand over Sam's. "She's okay. They're both okay."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

"How are you holding up sweetie?" Sam sat back down next to Janet, and took her hand.

"I'm okay," Janet replied. "Tired," she admitted.

"You got much pain?" Sam asked.

"It's not bad," Janet said. She looked over at Sam. "It's really happening, huh?"

Sam smiled, and caressed her face. "Yeah," she said. "It really is. Too late to change your mind now!" she joked.

"Our baby," Janet said, a note of wonder in her voice. "I can't quite believe it." Her grip on Sam's hand tightened. "Oh God," she gasped, as another contraction hit.

Sam climbed on the bed behind Janet, supporting her and holding her tight. "It's okay," she whispered over and over, "I'm here with you honey. Go with it, baby."

After a few minutes, Janet leaned back in Sam's arms. "Must be close now," she said weakly.

"Time for another look," Carolyn Lam said, and raised the sheet to check on progress. She smiled widely. "Fully dilated," she said.

"At _last_," Janet panted. "I don't think I can take much more of this."

"You're doing real good, Jan," Sam said softly, wiping the sweat from her lover's face. "Nearly there now," she said, "you've done so well. I'm so proud of you."

Janet gripped her hand again and cried out.

"Push, Janet," Lam urged. "More, you're so close."

Janet fell back to the pillows, her breath coming in short gasps.

"One more should do it Janet," Lam said.

Sam tightened her grip on Janet, supporting her with both arms. "You're doing so well, baby," she whispered to her, massaging her with her strong hands. "Let me know when..."

At that moment, Janet cried out again, grabbing desperately behind her for Sam's hand.

"That's it, Janet," Lam encouraged. "Keep pushing Janet, the head's out."

After one final push, the baby slid out into Lam's waiting hands. Janet collapsed back into Sam's arms. For a few, tense seconds, there was no sound. Sam's heart was in her mouth. Then they all heard the sweet sound they had been waiting for; the cry of a baby. Carolyn Lam looked up and smiled. "You want to come say hi?" she asked Sam, who just looked at her stunned, not moving from behind Janet.

"Go," Janet said breathlessly.

Very carefully, Sam climbed off the bed, making sure to prop Janet up carefully on pillows. She kissed Janet passionately on the mouth.

"I'm all sweaty," Janet protested.

"You're beautiful," Sam said, her voice cracking. She made her way to the bottom of the bed, where Carolyn Lam was cleaning off their baby.

"What is it?" Janet asked Sam as, at Lam's prompting, she took their baby in her shaking hands.

Sam looked up from their baby's face, her own face streaked with tears. "You were right all along, sweetie," she said, trying not to cry. "We've got a daughter." She pressed a gentle kiss on their daughter's forehead. "A beautiful daughter. She's perfect Jan," Sam started to sob as she brought the baby to Janet. "She's just perfect." Very carefully, she placed the baby on Janet's front.

Janet cradled the baby to her, her emotions threatening to overwhelm her. "Hi," she whispered to the infant.

Sam kissed Janet again, and reached out to stroke their baby's head tenderly. "Are you okay, honey?" she asked.

Janet looked up at her. "Never better," she said in a quiet voice. "She's so tiny, so precious. It was worth it all, Sam, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," Sam said. "We're the luckiest parents in the world."

"Can you go get Cass and Annie?" Janet asked. "They'll want to meet her."

"Are you sure you're ready for visitors?" Sam asked.

"They're not visitors," Janet said softly. "They're our daughters."

Sam kissed Janet again. "Be right back," she said.

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Sam let herself out of Janet's room, and into the room next door, which Cassie and Anna were occupying. She tapped lightly on the door, and was charmed to open it and see Cassie and Anna both snuggled tightly together, dozing in the one large armchair. "Hey," she said softly.

Cassie's eyes opened, and seeing Sam she leapt to her feet. "Well?" she demanded.

"A girl," Sam started to cry again. "She looks just like your Mom. She's beautiful."

Cassie and Anna enveloped Sam in a tight hug, and held her as she cried.

After a couple of minutes, Sam pulled back, and wiped her eyes. "Come and meet her," she said. "Janet wants you there."

**SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG**

Janet looked up at her daughters as they entered the room. "Hi," she said. "Come meet your baby sister."

Cassie and Anna kissed Janet, and Janet passed the baby to Cassie. "Here," she said, "time for you to get acquainted. We should call Mom," Janet said to Sam. "She'll want to know."

Sam dialed the 'phone, which was answered on the second ring. "Hey Kathryn," she said, unable to keep the glee from her voice. "Expecting a call?" she teased. "Okay, okay," she said, "I won't keep you in suspense. I'm gonna pass you on to Janet. She has news for you."

Janet took the 'phone from Sam. "Hey Mom," she said, almost shyly. "You've got another granddaughter," her voice cracked. "She's beautiful. Yes, Mom, I'm fine. So's she. And so's Sam. And the girls. Well we haven't discussed names properly yet. But I think I know what I want to call her. If Sam agrees. I'd like to call her Thea, after Sam's mom," at that Sam's eyes filled with tears. "Thea Kathryn Carter," Janet continued, her throat constricting at the emotion she could see her in lover's face. "Thanks Mom," Janet said. "I'll call you later. I love you," and she hung up the 'phone.

Cassie kissed her sister tenderly on the forehead, and passed her to Sam. "Here, Sam," she said quietly. "Take Thea."

Sam took her daughter, and looked into her bright eyes. "Hey, Thea," she said. "Welcome to our family."

THE END


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